Tag: Self-Consideration

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Distracted? Airport Personnel Weigh In

I enjoy airports. Most likely because they signal that a travel adventure is about to begin.

My family followed the “arrive two hours early” rule for every flight, and I’m still a fan. It allows me to relax and enjoy the airport phase of the travel experience. I’m not worried about security lines, overpriced water, or what boarding group I’m in. Although, truth be told, those days of being upgraded to first class have left a subtle longing for wider seats and fewer people.

I recently breezed through security and settled at my gate in a small Florida airport.

I had ninety minutes before boarding, so I pulled out my laptop, AirPods, and playlist. My belongings comfortably beside me, I settled into my project with Ludovico Einaudi playing at just the right volume. Loud enough to drown out most conversations around me, while still allowing the flight announcements to filter through.

I began noticing the voice patterns of the many announcements being made. Cheerful gate agents, no-nonsense gate agents, and a variety of pleasant voices making neutral announcements about people leaving their stuff behind.

And by stuff, I mean important stuff.

You might be surprised by the things people leave behind at the airport.

a hard shell brown carry-on suitcase
a phone left at security
a phone left on the plane
a stuffed animal (ouch!)
a carry-on left on the plane
a string of red licorice
(just checking your attention here)
yet another phone
Mr. “Smith,” please come to the information desk to pick up the “personal item” you left behind
another personal ID
one small blue sneaker (another ouch)
a backpack left at security
a white and yellow sweater waiting at the information desk

You get the idea, and that was just a short snippet of time while I was only partially paying attention to the frequent airport announcements.

Still, it made me wonder.

What narrows attention so much that really important personal items get left behind?

Travel offers the perfect storm for distraction.

There is rushing, overstimulation, unfamiliar environments, constant announcements, and the subtle background stress of schedules, security lines, and gate changes. The mind narrows its focus to the next task, and everything else drops outside the frame.

Of course, this isn’t limited to airports.

You may have left your credit card at a store, your sweater at the salon, or your sunglasses on a restaurant table. I once left my purse hanging on the back of my chair in the pizzeria at the mall. It goes without saying that my friends laughed among themselves as they tracked my head bobbing through the crowd while I raced back to retrieve it. I can still recall the startled expression on a woman’s face as I appeared, slightly breathless, pointing to my purse.

So no judgment here.

But if you are distracted or overwhelmed enough to leave your purse, your ID, your phone, or your child’s shoe behind (okay, that one probably slipped off a foot in a stroller), it might be time to slow down.

This applies whether you are commuting in the air, by car, on foot, or simply traveling between floors in your own home.

Before you rush off to the next place, or the next task, pause for a moment.
Take a breath.
Look around.
Check in with where you are.
Notice what you’re doing next.

Sometimes the smallest pause is all it takes to gather yourself, your attention, and hopefully all of your belongings before moving on.

Distracted? Of course you are in this day and age.

Yet you are also quite capable of using simple moments of awareness to protect your precious documents, your peace of mind, and perhaps even that favorite yellow and white sweater.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Psychologist Daniel Goleman’s book Focus highlights a mental skill many of us overlook: attention. Drawing on neuroscience research, Goleman explains that strong focus involves balancing three kinds of attention: inward (self-awareness), outward (empathy and connection with others), and broader awareness of the systems around us. People who thrive tend to move fluidly between these forms of attention. One simple practice he suggests is pausing periodically during the day to notice where your attention is directed. A brief check-in can help reset your focus and improve clarity, relationships, and decision-making.

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Care within the Cold Dark Winter

Driving into Soul Sanctuary last weekend, I noticed the trees were engaged in a wild dance.

I should have paid closer attention as I got out of the car, because the wind nearly took me with it. Walking to the door, I had to lean in and brace myself for a moment just to stay upright. The cold whipped through my clothes and found every uncovered space, sharing its bone-numbing chill.

I’m a bit over the cold, dark days of winter. And it’s only the beginning of February.

I wondered how a child who grew up playing and skiing in the snow could become an adult who avoids the cold like a hot potato.

I’m not alone in feeling that this winter has been long and unrelenting. The cold settled in, the snow kept arriving, and the darkness has lingered a bit too long. I’ve noticed that people who usually move, walk, and gather are sharing a quiet resistance toward going outside.

It’s not dramatic. More like a deep reluctance to push against what is already heavy.

It shows up when you don’t want to go out. You don’t want to muster and you want to stay within the comfort of home. Yet, alongside that is a missing of being outside, walking and breathing, and moving through the world more freely.

I’ve been thinking about how comfort soothes dark and cold times, both with weather and with the circumstances of life.

In Norway, there are months when sunlight disappears almost entirely. People don’t fight the inevitable. They prepare, adapt, and even celebrate the dark cold. They cultivate warmth in their homes with candles, roaring fires, and hearty soups. They strap headlamps on and walk to meet friends at a café or pull bundled-up children on sleds to family gatherings.

Some brave souls even gather at the sea, entering frigid water with hardiness and laughter as a communal ritual. While the thought makes me shudder, I appreciate the reminder that aliveness, in any weather, can be celebrated.

In my neck of the woods, people have grown used to mild winters and a few days of melting snow.

Persistent cold invites retreat inward. In some ways, this mirrors the season of Winter itself. A time to slow down, enjoy the quiet, and allow the body to restore. This is where seeds of inspiration are nourished, waiting for warmer days and heightened energy.

When moods, energy, physical activity, and social engagement dip, there is often a quiet, or not so quiet, voice that says something is wrong.

That you should be handling things better, staying upbeat, being more productive, or pushing through some imagined standard.

What if that story isn’t true? What if this long, dark, cold stretch is asking for a different kind of care, one that doesn’t require justification?

Caring well for yourself in winter invites honoring how your internal rhythms are moving and what you genuinely require at this time.

It’s a season when your system may be conserving energy or seeking comfort because conditions are demanding. Responding accurately means noticing this rather than overriding it. Winter invites choosing warmth, beauty, and pleasure without apologizing for them or framing them as indulgence.

Comfy clothes. Time under blankets. Home-cooked meals. Less socializing and more contemplation.

For most, this isn’t the season for optimization. Winter is the season for tending.

 

You might find yourself drawn to slower mornings, softer lighting, heavier blankets, and food that takes time.

You might want fewer conversations but deeper ones. You might want to read instead of scroll, sit by a window instead of pushing yourself out into the cold, or let your evenings close down naturally rather than staying artificially bright and busy.

It’s also important to discern whether you’re enjoying winter and thriving in the cold, or pushing yourself to maintain a rhythm that’s easier with light and warmth. People vary. It helps to know where you land.

Layered beneath this cold, snowy weather is another kind of winter.

Looking out into the world right now, the climate feels harsh in more ways than one. Division, outrage, harm to people and the environment, and unsettling news create a sense that something essential is being strained or torn.

Witnessing the state of the world can feel like a long season with no clear thaw in sight.

That makes personalized care even more important, not less.

Choosing comfort, warmth, and nourishment, if that’s what’s called for, makes good sense.

It’s wise to harmonize your nervous system, calm your mind, and soothe your emotions. This is how you remain capable of kindness, discernment, and presence when the world feels loud and fractured.

Care doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be quietly pleasing.

A candle lit for no reason. A meal that actually satisfies. An early night without explanation. A conversation that feels human instead of performative.

You don’t need to earn these things by being productive first. You don’t need to frame them as self-improvement. You are simply responding to Winter as Winter, living in a way that matches your preference and bandwidth.

Movement will return, of course. Light is already on its way. Cold and snow will soften, and days outside will become more inviting.

But those days have not arrived yet. Don’t jump ahead or live as if they have. There’s something deeply supportive about being in sync with your inner rhythm in every season. When you’re not, strain builds inside and everything outside feels harder.

This cold, dark, often windy season asks you to stay close to yourself.

To tend the small hearths of your life in ways that feel pleasing and comforting.

And if you worry that you’re withdrawing too much from the world, be at peace.

This is a time to inhabit the way you’re called to live right now. Close, warm, and true to yourself.

There will be a time to turn outward again. Listen for the inner urge, but there’s no need to move before you’re ready.

Enjoy this time if you can. Seasons change. Light returns. And warmth is always generated from within.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Winter may slow you down. Yet it is a time where movement matters. Even 15 minutes a day of some exercise or body movement that is pleasing has beneficial impact. Sure, gym time works. But dancing with the dog, kids, or partner works. So does yoga, chi gong, or walking the mall. If you add some favorite music and even a movement buddy, life may seem lighter even in the darker days. Good nutrition, enough sleep, and Vitamin D or sunshine (even through the window) are good for a winter body. A rousing game of monopoly, scrabble, or freeze dance can do wonders for a winter mood. 

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Building Cathedrals

How’s your perspective these days? 



Especially in the midst of upheaval in this country, famine and war in the world, and an unbelievable swing toward hatred, greed, and cruel behavior. That is before you consider your everyday stress or the big challenges your and your loved ones may be facing.

When stress rises, perspective shrinks. 

It’s the brain’s natural response to survival signals.

You hyper focus on essentials like food, funds, work, and family (unless you’re ready to toss your family out the window, but that’s another story. Hang in.)

This contraction is understandable. Yet, the invitation is to remember to take a breath, soothe your system, and connect to the wisdom within and beyond you.

The Self Soothe System is free and available to assist you. Get that free resource here on my site here.


When your system is disorganized, harmony is unavailable. 

The Soul’s vision becomes cloudy. So the first move, always, is to harmonize. To come into coherence. Then you can see more, know more, and be more. This matters, not only for you, but for all of us in this interconnected family.

From this Soulful perspective, beautiful questions arise:

What am I learning? 

How may I grow, mature, evolve during this challenge?

What might I offer others without compromising my own wellbeing?

What is asking to be healed within me so I can transcend the smaller story of my life?

That last question – it’s a big one. In the midst of this turmoil, your patterns are likely activating.

Perhaps you may view your vulnerability as your Inner Healer trying to catch your attention. Once you’ve soothed the stress response, you’re more likely to become curious.

More Beautiful Questions arise:


What belief or pattern is creating this tension?

Do I want to carry it or is it ready to be released?

Am I carrying burdens that aren’t even mine? 

Am I still listening to that societal voice that tells me I have to hustle and achieve to be worthy (such a silly idea, but we’ve all been snookered)?

This moment is potent and rich with possibility.

So, do the work with yourself, a friend, a mentor, or a celestial ally.

You may be just fine right now as you read these words with a full belly, safe house, cell phone, and a few dollars in the bank. But, don’t miss this energetically charged moment because there’s something deeper waiting to be freed — something beautiful.

Recently I recalled receiving a strong perspective jolt (mini lightning strike) during the pandemic. (Remember that crisis and how we weathered it together?)

I had come across a youtube video of Andrea Bocelli’s Concert of Hope. In the isolation of quarantine, he stood before the massive Duomo Cathedral in Milan. 



Singing. Alone. To the world.

His voice carried across silence, through distance, across grief and hope. His open heart awakened hearts across the globe. Tears. Prayer. Awe. Beauty. Google it and you’ll see the image. 



Tiny human. Massive Cathedral.

Humans have built cathedrals to the Divine for millennia. Imagine it: a Soul envisions a Sacred monument. Artists, funders, and masons gather. Grandfathers, sons, grandsons labor generation after generation to honor something greater than themselves.

A cathedral was sparked by a simple person who was moved by a Divine impulse.

Infused with imagination and devotion, they gathered others to build something magnificent for others to inherit.

It humbles me every time every time I see a cathedral. A sense of majesty that unfurls when you widen your view.

When you open your heart to the mythic operating within the mundane. When you honor your vulnerability and your magnificence. Both together as one Sacred human journey.

When you let your Soul move you, everything changes.

Andrea Bocelli, a tiny human with a huge voice, offered hope his way. This is what generous beauty does. It wakes you up and returns your focus to what matters. It’s a good time to wake up to what deeply matters and ask the beautiful questions that lead you to offer your song to the world.

By the time you’re reading this, I’ve flown into Milan and traveled to the Temples of Humankind in Damanhur, Italy.

Here, I’m committed to listening to both my Soul and my stress. 



I’m going to walk amongst the builders of another epic cathedral buried deep within a mountain. Over 45 years ago, one idea sparked 70 people in the Damanhur community to create the inexplicable and make the impossible possible. I’ve walked in the Temples of Humankind which are dedicated to awakening the Divinity in all people and honoring every wisdom tradition. It’s extraordinary and inspiring. 



I’m grateful to bring the Q’ero shamans from Peru to Damanhur so they may add their magic, ceremony, vision, and love to the Temples, Crystal Labyrinth Project, and Damanhurian community.

I’ll walk in silence upon and within that place of power so that I may listen and perceive the mythic story that wants to birth through me.

Today, on the anniversary of 9/11, I’m committed to building cathedrals, not walls. I hope you join me in that idea, however you do it.

And a reminder. Breathe and soothe your system when life gets inexplicable and overwhelming.

If you need support, ask for it. Reach out to me, to someone. Don’t go it alone. Not now. The world needs harmonized people in tune with their inner wisdom and open to the Divine Spark that may launch a simple action or a magnificent project.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Have you read Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. It puts generational cathedral building in perspective. Story style. What are you creating for your great, great grandchildren?  Just a thought. I’m full of ideas. Perhaps we’ll build together. 

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Wisdom in the Dark

It’s uncomfortable feeling the darkness within the belly, leaking into the day.

The waking to news that frightens, angers, and confuses you. This world gone astray. There is a longing to seek the light to chase the darkness. As if sunshine might polish circumstances into something more palatable. Shaping the story into something you can live within.

Don’t be so quick to chase the dark away.

There is wisdom within the depths of your body’s response. The power of anger, leaking of tears, flutter in the belly. Wisdom that whispers “Something is out of whack.” Knocking you off balance, unsettling your peace.

Opening the door for the mind to spin its tales. Strengthening your position, whatever it may be.

Activating a fearful future landscape that devastates your current wellbeing. Despair leading to withdrawal in order to protect. Agitation readying for a fight against that which you can not bear. Confusion as to why your fellow humans think so differently than you.

All stories are false. All stories are true. It’s how you live your stories that matters.

What if the sorrow, fear, anger, or disillusionment arrived to invite you into a deep, honest exchange? To welcome you within your stories about how the world should be. So, you may meet the storyteller within you and begin a dialogue.

Sitting within the early morning darkness, candle burning, a cup of tea, a cozy blanket. Perhaps a journal.

Here, you begin the dive within to find that which creates this sorrow that tugs at every aspect of your being. It doesn’t take much to enter the conversation for sorrow has a voice and it spills over with the heartbreak that has been contained within the body and masked by the stories.

You listen as sorrow speaks its anguish that the humans of the world have lost their way.

It begins with evidence garnered from one day of darkness, yet soon spreads to evidence of harm in all directions around the globe, throughout history, upon the planet. Including the harm done to self with judgement, dismissal of voice, and alienation of worthiness. The sorrow cries, allowing despair, disappointment, disillusionment to join the conversation. Emptying, the conversation slows as the body quiets, calmer now as the sorrow has been given its path of movement.

The sun rises, bathing the body in light. As it always does after the dark.

Allowing the eyes to see the beneficial presence of humans. Seeking in the light of day all that is helpful, generous, creative, and beautiful. This luminosity reveals what may not be noticed in the dark. Yet, it serves not as a source to eradicate discomfort. Nor shape deeply felt fear into something unimportant. The brilliance of day also reveals all that you judge, back away from, and condone as wrong.

Don’t be so quick to choose the light.

It is the turning away from that which is hidden in the dark that leads to misunderstanding and actions that harm.

Your wisdom calls you to the conversation with yourself before it sends you to share deeply with others.

What is your hope, determination, anxiety, or numbness wanting to share? Every experience has a voice and something wise to offer you.

Nature, which is your essence, models inclusion of every movement. Day gives way to night which returns itself to day. Seasons, amiss as they are, give way after allowing each to offer wisdom to those with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a body to sense. The moon dances through cycles of bright and dark, modeling the beauty and potential in each phase.

Wisdom is unpredictable and subtly changes the rhythm of the conversation.

Intelligent perception begins within the wholeness of what you’re experiencing. Inviting an inner dialogue where you discover that the stories you tell are true for you, until they are discovered to be false. Where you find yourself basking in the warm beauty revealed by despair and the breaking of the heart. Not only a place of suffering nor a refuge from pain, you journey within your darkness to discover the brightest felt sense of life. 

Here, you discover that both sorrow and joy matter. 

A lightness of being is possible within hard times and heaviness arrives even when circumstances are bright. These experiences arrive to be noticed, to offer something you may learn from and then choose to keep or discard. Moving in the rhythm of life, regardless of whether circumstances are to your liking or not, you recognize there is wisdom in insecurity and discomfort. 

There is no urgent need to deep dive into a dark that terrifies or to fly too close to the sun. 

Begin gently and with great kindness. Honor the wisdom that is being felt throughout your being, uncomfortable as it may be.

Don’t back too far away from yourself in order to mask that which feels disabling. There is potential in every movement of life, even though in times of discord it is difficult to see. Resist the urge to run helter skelter toward the light and proclaim it as the only power of good. 

The greatest potential for life lies within the wisdom of your being. 

Join with this rather than following the personal and societal stories of mind. When you can welcome uncertainty and discomfort as wise teachers, you welcome another rhythm. That which quietly hums a tune of harmony flowing within the dark and light of human existence. 

Listen carefully to the wisdom that whispers within you.

Steady and true, it leads you toward that perfect perception and inspired action which cultivates the love, respect, and generous care for every living being.

And if you haven’t downloaded The Self Soothe Strategy, now is a good time. It helps. A lot. Scroll down and get started. We need your calm.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

When you despair about the harshness that humans display toward one another and the planet, take pause. In a crisis, look for the helpers, as Mr. Rogers’ mother sagely advised. The world is filled with hearts that are warm, minds that innovate, and communities that work together for the greater good of all life. Today, there is room for more benevolent and useful action. Even with a heart that is heavy, I wonder what you may offer to improve life on this planet. You are needed and it uplifts the soul to become part of a movement so generous, so loving, and so joyful that your despair lifts. And the planet lightens up. One person at a time.

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4 Tips for Reducing Holiday Tension

The Thanksgiving Holiday is upon us in the United States.

Bringing families and friends together to share a meal with gratitude for the abundance of love, food, community, and pleasure. Unless tensions arise for any number of reasons. Perhaps you stress when hosting, families don’t get along, you are dealing with grief or loneliness, someone drinks too much, politics get dicey, or any number of ways your leftover childhood issues come uninvited to dinner.

Here’s four suggestions to lower your tension this turkey day.

1. Be Yourself

That might sound obvious, but it’s hard for people to be comfortable in their own skin when there is any kind of tension present. Family gatherings may be the one place you actually drop into yourself and feel at home. I’m happy for you. I’m also aware that a large number of people feel anxious in anticipation of all those inlaws and outlaws gathering in one place.

What if you decided ahead of time to show up as who you feel yourself to be?

If you’re used to wearing a mask or using strategies to protect yourself, why not let at least one of them drop off? If that sounds terrifying, try it out for a few minutes with the most benign person at dinner. Most people don’t notice you’re all masked up like its Halloween, so they won’t notice if you let just one layer loose.

As long as you feel safe enough, it’s an interesting game to play. After all, it’s up to you to step into your own skin, comfy or not, so perhaps you give yourself permission this year to begin.

2. Acknowledge your personal, family and or friend situation.

You all may be at peace, enthusiastic about your lives, and happy to stuff your face together. Or you may be in a terrible fight, hate being in a crowd, are deep in grief, or worried about that relative who has gone off the rails. Whether it is temporary or long standing, let it be that.

Wishing life was different or getting angry at others for being who they are, where they are, and how they’re behaving is gonna give you indigestion.

Deciding ahead of time to make peace with your situation or come to a temporary truce within yourself may allow you to take the edge off. With that mindset shift, you might actually find some beauty hidden in the day.

3. Remember to wear pants.

This is for anyone feeling the stress of hosting and trying to make a meal tasty and special for everyone. Worrying about how clean the house is, whether the turkey will be moist, or if you have enough matching place settings is beside the point. You’re hosting. Everyone else is grateful they are not.

It doesn’t need to be perfect and you don’t have to worry about everyone’s wellbeing. Don’t fry your brain over entertaining. Even if your guests are grumpy and silently judging your spread, they’re still eating your meal.

So, forget worrying about what other people think.

Keep it simple and do your best. Above all, remember to wear pants. 


Or a skirt. Seriously, as long as you remember the basics like getting dressed and putting some food on the table, the day will be a success. Spray some lemon spray by the front door so guests think your house is clean and enjoy your day.

4. Focus on the worthy.

It’s Thanksgiving and the hint is in the name. Spend some time contemplating what’s really important in life. What are you grateful for? Even if life isn’t quite working out as you’d like, spend the day saying thank you – aloud and silently – for all you have been given, created, and are in the process of dreaming.

Be generous with your gratitude.

Play a game where you let everyone know your appreciation. One at a time. Thank them for who they are, what they’ve given you, or, if all else fails, for passing the gravy. Be generous – give that thanks away freely.

And don’t forget to pass some loving gratitude to yourself.

For showing up however you have on this day of Giving Thanks. And for all the ways you make the world sparkle a bit brighter because you exist.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Want to be a Human Book? Explore the Human Library Project where you can volunteer your time and “story” in order to educate others. It began in Copenhagen in 2000 with an intent to break down stereotypes and stigma. Gathering volunteers to share stories of what it was like to grow up gay, placed in child protective services, being psychic, surviving a suicide attempt, being deaf and depressed, living as an immigrant, and more. You’re helped to “unjudge someone” when you sit for 30 minutes listening to a life story. 80 countries and going strong.

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Pet Love. The Great Equalizer.

It was a gorgeous, bright morning as I sat in the peaceful stillness of my kitchen.

I settled in near the window to watch the well orchestrated routine of the birds flying into the tree. Chattering as they hopped down the branches until it was their turn at the bird feeder. I never witnessed any bullying by the woodpeckers with their long, hard beaks. The doves or cardinals never bumped the tiny pine siskin or goldfinch out of the pecking order.

This merry band of birds, generously cooperative, even let that busy tailed squirrel have his turn.

The morning’s quiet was shattered by a ferocious bark as not everyone was thrilled with that squirrel entering their domain. In another well practiced routine, I opened the sliding door so Milo could police the yard and chase that furry bandit into the neighbor’s trees. As that blur of black and white flew down the steps, I turned my attention to the trees dancing in the wind.

A shrill yelp of pain followed by rapid squeals of pain had me running around the side of the house.

Where I found my dog standing on three legs with eyes wide with panic. Scooping up the shaking fur ball, I carried him in the house. With a history of straining a muscle after a speed burst, I wondered if he’d work it out with a little rest and energy work. After some soothing and a little Body Code energy work, he still stood on 3 legs.

I offered to take the first shift at the local animal hospital’s emergency room and drove off with quiet whimpers from the back seat.

I carried that wounded warrior to the front desk where I worked to keep my stress to a manageable level. I went through an interminable number of questions and a very thorough confirmation of everything in his virtual chart.

I tried to keep my tone pleasant even as the whimpers grew louder and my thirty pound creature grew heavier.

Just when I felt my arm was going to give out, I was told to take a seat. I found a corner bench where I could keep Milo on the seat next to me. Curious by nature and a big fan of the animal hospital, he was already struggling to stand and whine as he saw staff and other animals.

I spent the next two hours draped over this gentle creature to keep him still.

Given that there was plenty of action and a need to remain calm, we spent a lot of time talking. Well, to be accurate, I spent a lot of time talking quietly to my little black and white companion. His responses were more subtle by way of eye contact, ear movement to indicate he heard me, and head turning to identify the next topic of conversation.

I had a lot of time to join Milo in observing our surroundings.

At first, I took on his role of protector of our domain. Hoping no one sat too close as he’d squirm to investigate. Soon, though, I joined him in the stillness of watching who was showing up and what was happening beyond our small bubble. That perspective changed my experience.

We quietly witnessed the arrival of dogs on leases, carried in arms, and rolled in on stretchers.

The cats went by in carriers to sit in their designated waiting area. We were joined by a poodle in a diaper, a bunny in a soft carry case, a bearded dragon in a towel, and a really annoying chihuahua who made Milo and I jerk in tandem with every shrill bark.

Once the animals were catalogued and discussed, we moved onto observing their humans.

Other than the man with the dragon in the towel who was happily chatting with the blue haired mama and her two kids about their own dragon adventures, the rest of the adults sat quietly.

I watched a woman reading a book while waiting for news, only to realize she never turned a page in the whole hour. The young woman with swollen eyes and blotchy skin buried her face from time to time into that diapered poodle for a short cry.

“Milo, I think they need our help,” I whispered. Again, my small healing magi and I changed the game.

Whispering softly, we coordinated our prayers of light for the wellbeing of those creatures and their people in that room of stress and sorrow. A large black fierce breed of a dog arrived on a stretcher with a matching fierce man speaking harshly to staff. Soothing tones wrapped his sentiments as they rolled that man’s best friend off to the surgeon. For the next hour, that fierce man, undone by the danger facing his dog, stood or paced in front of that door. As if gazing down the hallway would hasten good news and peace of mind.

At times, when a dog rolled by, Milo would look at me. “I know, I don’t think he’s coming out. Let’s send him home in peace.”

It was a long few hours, sitting amidst worry and grief. All the while leaning over a small dog who patiently waited his turn, much like those beautiful birds outside our window. We celebrated when the diapered poodle reappeared even though we witnessed the woman’s quiet sobs, knowing they’d only have a wee bit more time to share their special love bond. Relieved by my husband who covered the next few hours of waiting, I recognized something of importance.

That waiting room of wretched stress, whispered prayers, and soothing staff was filled with one thing.

Humans who loved their pets. And pets who loved their humans.

Loving pets seemed to me to be the great equalizer, allowing me to see the sameness of all of us humans, regardless of how we presented. I wouldn’t have wanted to meet that man and his fierce black dog on the street, but I’m sure glad I met them in the emergency room. While I was sorry that Milo broke his little foot and relieved he had no pain, I was grateful for those hours remembering the value of every human life.

I’ve had time to let that lesson sink in deeply in this summer of slowness.

When I carry Milo up and down stairs and watch him stroll ever so gently down the street with his peg leg, I am reminded that life holds suffering. No one is immune. While the reason isn’t always obvious, everyone deserves understanding, compassion, and some soothing words in times of tension.

I’ll remember that the next time some fierce human barks at me in frustration.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

College campuses are allowing dogs on campus during exam week and as emotional support animals. Dogs, like many pets, have been found to reduce stress and anxiety. One study invited participants to engage in public speaking followed by performing difficult calculations with unfriendly observers watching them. Yuck. They were randomly assigned to bring a friend, an unfamiliar dog, or go it alone. Results found that while all participants had higher heart rates and cortisol levels, those paired with a dog had lower levels than the other groups. Having Fido around before, during, and after stressful events is a good idea!

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Love. Appreciation. Wonder.

Love

This is the energy back behind all form. You. Your family and friends. Loved ones who sing with the Angels. Santa. And every gift, holiday light, and tension you experience. It’s your nature. 

Let your Love glow.   

Love freely even when with people or in situations that make you crazy. We’re all crazy. Love the crazy. Whatever you’re doing, sprinkle it with love. If it’s your nature, it’s a natural impulse. Seek it and share it. 

Appreciation

My heart broke open this morning. Appreciating the fullness of life I was experiencing. The sweetness and the profound sorrow. The connections and the desire to reconnect. The hustle bustle and the stillness. It’s all in there. Life amazes me and I dissolve in appreciation, as long as I’m moving slowly enough to notice.

Pay attention. Appreciation wants to express through you.

It’s your nature. Be generous with yourself throughout the holiday. Appreciate where you’re at and show up as the real you. Doesn’t matter if your cookies taste good, you’re hungover, or just too damn cheery for most people in the room.

You be you.

Let your appreciation for others spill out into every interaction.

 

They really need this simple act of being noticed and thanked.
 

It’s a basic human need. Something we can all relate to. Plus, it just feels good. Kinda like drinking warm cocoa.I bet it isn’t too hard to find tiny and big ways you appreciate another person. Or a situation. Or even a really big problem.  



Appreciation invites freedom to the holiday table. 



And freedom is a much better dinner guest than tension or judgement.   



Wonder.



As a question. I wonder what marvelous thing or event will appear at our holiday celebration? 

As a feeling. It’s often a whole body experience with a sense that life has delivered something to your door that was way beyond your expectation. It could be momentary or sustained wonder. Either way, it feels great. Every cell agrees.



The magic of Santa. The new baby at the holiday table. The unexpected opening of hearts. 



Wonder at the stories in all sacred traditions. Of a light that guided the way to joy, peace, and sweet happiness with one another. On this Winter Solstice, I invite you to remember the Light within all beings and all of the natural world.



Seek and ye shall find.   



What you seek matters. For all of us.



I’m wishing you joy, peace, and love as you celebrate the sacred moments within this Season of Light. 



Thanks for being a part of this lovely community whether it’s receiving this Blog or showing up at Soul Sanctuary. I’m glad you’re around. You make my life richer with your Presence.



Happy holidays.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Always be on the lookout for Wonder. It’s a game changer. Wonder is a complex emotion best investigated by direct experience. It may be defined as a heightened state of emotion and consciousness. Prompted by something that is rare, unexpected, and beautiful. It holds elements of surprise, joy, curiosity, and contemplation. It drops you into an expanded state by surprise and delights you with the shift in perception of your surroundings and life itself. Settling into the moment, cultivating stillness, and calling forth love and appreciation may leave you Wonder Prone. 


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At Home in the Midst

This warm winter morning beckoned me for a walk, surrounded by woods, fields, and nature’s creatures.

I noticed a thick mist ahead and felt the pull of my desire to be within the white. Lost in thought, headed into the milkiness, I approached my destination only to discover that my sight was clear. The experience I expected did not manifest.

In momentary confusion, I looked back to see that the road upon which I travelled was now obscured. 



The mist touched every place but the circle in which I stood. I paused for a moment to breathe in the moist, still air. I engaged the present moment and the clarity it offered. Blind to what was behind or in front of me, I realized the benefit of clear sight when I was present, aware, and engaged with my body and my environment.

When I consciously joined the moment I was standing in, clarity arrived.

I’ve heard that sage advice many times: “be here now.” Yet, how often have I traipsed through my days trailing behind my mind which was peering into a murky future? Or getting lost in the mental mist of memory reconsolidated?

I took the opportunity to look into the forest, alive with a melodic stream, busy birds, and scampering squirrels.

Apparently, while I was cocooning indoors, the natural world had been actively preparing for Her perfectly timed reemergence. I don’t know why I was surprised that tiny seedlings had grown into small pine trees. Or by the evidence of greenery, flowing water, and new life everywhere. Perhaps the snow and persistent gray February skies in New Jersey had dulled my senses and distorted my memory.

Nature has always demonstrated how capable She partners with the evolutionary impulse.

Years of sitting, playing, and meandering in Nature have revealed so many wisdom lessons. I never had to look far to witness the emergence of Her latest work of art. Throughout cycles of seeding, nourishing, emerging, blossoming, and deteriorating, the natural world’s creative unfoldment has always been trustworthy. Laying down a Map of Wisdom for those with eyes to see and senses to clearly perceive the harmonious movement of Life.

Yet, Nature doesn’t need an audience to do Her thing.

She seeds, grows, dies, and rests to a rhythm so persistently harmonious. Nature’s emergence isn’t dependent upon social media “likes” nor does it require those seeking fresh air to stop and smell the roses. That’s why Nature’s wisdom is easy to miss. Especially when closed away in our homes, busy schedules, and distracted lifestyles.

As I walked, I pondered Life’s innate potential for perennial growth and the creation of beautiful spaces.

My sight was clear, as was my mind. Walking with my body, rather than racing ahead or lagging behind, a revelation emerged. It seemed new, like a seedling breaking through the soil, rather than an old intellectual understanding.

I, too, was a natural phenomenon.

 

Imbued with an innate ability to grow effortlessly and create beautifully in every cycle and season. 

Alert and aware, I recognized that I could walk blindly through the obscurification of a distracted life. Or choose to pause within any moment and breathe myself back into my body and the space it inhabited. I felt a subtle shift with that awareness.

As if my quantum substructure rearranged into new flowing patterns of harmonious light.

Honoring my innate trustworthy nature would allow me step out of my murky mind mist and show up within the midst of this Holy Moment. With Nature’s gentle reminder, I became more aware of myself as a trustworthy participant within this evolutionary process.

Relaxed and aware, I walked slowly within these natural, magical surroundings.

Gazing at the milky whiteness before me, I stayed present to the crisp clarity all around me. With ears to hear, I enjoyed the rustle of the wind and the crunch of tiny feet upon the leaves. I imagined tiny shoots of green just below the surface, biding their time and gathering their energy, before sneaking up toward the light. And I remembered what I have known all along.

I was at home in the midst. 


Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Nearly all of Ethiopia’s old growth forest has disappeared. This film tells the story of Ethiopia’s church forests.  They are pockets of lush biodiversity that surround hundreds of churches. Consciously created with people working to protect them. This short film tells the story of The Church Forests of Ethiopia. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fGe-CPWZlE&feature=youtu.be

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Looking for Kindness in all the Right Places

I merged with ease onto the highway, as I’ve done countless times before.

I slowed a bit to let the big white pickup truck with a trailer pass by before I claimed my space.  Gazing forward at the open road, I realized the pick up driver had moved over to make room for me.

I was struck by the kindness of that simple maneuver.   

Seriously struck. My heart warmed as those feel good chemicals zoomed around my brain and body.  In my mind, I was crystal clear that he had offered me a kindness.  It wasn’t just good driving protocol or a desire to save his shiny new truck from a potential run in. How did I know?  I’ve no idea, but I knew. 

So did my open mind, warm heart, and tingling body. 

I basked in that experience as I drove. Then a question arose. 

How many subtle moments of intentional kindness do I miss each day? 

I recognized that question offered me an invitation to play. So, I drove on – alert in my pursuit of kindness. The tiny, easy to miss kind.  Whether it was intentional or habitual didn’t matter.  Noticing what was already happening was.

I took a new route to keep me from going mindless while driving. 

Winding through neighborhoods on a lovely day surprisingly showed kindness everywhere. Drivers let others merge or walkers cross the street. A man picked up random trash. Doors were held in local shops. A lady kissed a neighbor’s dog.

Smiles exchanged. Lots of drivers waving at each other. 

The thank you, go ahead kind of waving. Nary a middle finger in sight.  

I stayed alert while exploring a new grocery store. 

A mom was kind to her frustrated child. Staff helped find stuff.  A young girl smiled as she paused in her stocking for me to roll my cart by. 3 times she paused and smiled. (I was a bit lost).  My cashier was to die for kind and even helped me put the cart away as I grabbed my bags by the front door. 

I went to Trader Joe’s next.  Happy.  Watching lots of nice people manage a crazy crowded parking lot.  

Same story indoors. After a bit of noticing all the help all around, I zoned out and stood in line.  I tuned in and felt the unity within me.  Happy.  Feeling the benefit of witnessing so much kindness.  I brought my attention outward and saw a laughing couple enjoying a really friendly cashier.

I heard ladies laughing behind me. Strangers apparently.  

Mind back on autopilot, I half heard a woman cheerfully mention she just got rid of a house full of tweens after a sleepover.  She had laundry in the washer and dishes in the dishwasher when her husband mentioned they were out of tea.  So here she was on Superbowl Sunday at Trader Joes with the rest of New Jersey. 

I was thinking that was mighty kind. 

I was thinking about how I felt after those sleepover days.  My husband would’ve been lucky to get a cup of tea. No way I would’ve run out for that one item. Let alone do it cheerfully. 

(Note to self - still more growing up to do.)

 

I heard her ask the manager, perched in his official birds nest, if he could ring up her 1 item. He didn’t have a register.

That woke me up. 

“Please, go in front of me.”   “Oh no, I couldn’t.”   “Please”  (really more like “Puleeeaase, it is so not a big deal).  It was a no brainer. 

“That was kind,” said the (really friendly) cashier. 

I hadn’t even thought about the kindness thing.  It just happened.  Habitual kindness.  Noticed and commented on.  I wondered if he might be playing the same game, so I smiled at him knowingly (sounds creepy when I write it).

Asking me to wait a second, he had a word with the floating manager. I packed my groceries and got my change. 

Then he handed me a tiny bouquet of flowers. 

“Thanks for being kind,” said my game playing buddy.  Intentional kindness met habitual kindness.  Really, truly sweet. 

It showed me a new level of the game. 

I could notice acts of kindness happening and I could intentionally create a few of my own.  I walked out and saw a woman struggle to lift her bags out of the cart. And leave the cart precariously poised to drift right into that shiny luxury car parked by the door. Intentionally, I returned the cart. 

Playing the game at this level – noticing and contributing – reminded me of my favorite square dancing move.

It’s been a (really) long time since my High School gym days, but I think it’s called a chain.  All cliques represented as we joined hands, laughed, danced, and wove through each other with great enthusiasm.  Once we all agreed square dancing was hokey and weird, we were free to thoroughly enjoy ourselves.

I remember that feeling of an open mind, warm heart, and tingling body.

It struck me then that Life invites us to play a lot of different games.  It doesn’t seem to matter which one you choose.  Just that it takes you into that warm, sweet experience of being a contributing part of this human family.   

I believe there is a lot of good going on in our world. 

Depends what you are looking for and what you’ve got to add. 

I hope you find your game today.

And discover the joy of playing, the playmates who await you, and that inner tingle. I hope you  inadvertently make someone’s day and cause a chain reaction of goodness. 

p.s.  I also remember playing with those little scooters in gym. Jumping on the trampoline. Routines on a tiny balance beam (8 inches off the floor).  Volley ball and my killer serve. Softball on gorgeous days.  Thinking back on it, gym class was so much fun. 

What about you?  I’m sticking with fun … as long as I block out days running around the track, playing basketball, and wearing that mandatory sleeveless, one piece polyester gym suit.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Kindness: the gift that keeps on giving. University of California researchers found an increase in positive feelings and life satisfaction, and a decrease in negative feelings, when participants performed acts of kindness, recalled acts of kindness, or did both. Next time you feel down or stressed, pull up a memory of when you were kind to someone to improve your own well-being.

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Lost in the Woods

 

I’ve recently awakened the desire to go hiking and spend more time exploring the trails in New Jersey and other locations. 

So, my husband downloaded a new app with a wide selection of hiking trails in our area and chose our first 5 mile hike. It was rated “moderate” hiking difficulty which was good for me. I enjoy our walks in nature tremendously, but I was hankering for a little elevation and variation. Since a weekend hike in Rocky Mountain National Park was out, we popped in the car to celebrate Labor Day with an enjoyable walk in the woods. 

I love to explore new places by wandering around without a plan, discovering what is around me. My husband, on the other hand, is a map kind of guy. Or in this case, an app kind of guy.

We arrived at a tiny gravel lot, grabbed our bottles of water, and headed down the deserted path. How could we go wrong? There were white painted trail markers on the trees and we enjoyed being in the shaded woods as a respite from a sunny day with temperatures in the 90s.

It was a delight to be immersed within hundreds of trees with a hint of the stream’s gurgle beyond the ferns. The blue sky and white clouds peeked through the trees as if to check on our progress, yet the rays of the sun were only lightly visible. 

We strolled along as if we were the only people in the world on this path.

Apparently we were, as we didn’t see nor hear anyone for over an hour. There was a peace that descended when we were immersed within the natural sights and sounds of the forest. Even my husband relaxed his noticing of the changing color trail markers and we enjoyed quiet conversation interspersed with long periods of silence. The sight of massive roots of a fallen tree, minnows swimming by the edge of the stream, or a surprising tree of burning orange leaves was good for the soul.

Faced with a fork in the road, we simply went left as the absence of trail markers left us to our own devices.

We spied two deer leaping across the path ahead and disappearing into the dense brush.  It was a delight and we decided it was clearly a sign we were headed in the right direction. This was our first indication that perhaps we weren’t reading the signs correctly – trail signs or nature signs – as we ended up stuck in a field of prickly grasses with nowhere to go. So, we turned around. At the next fork, we got serious about looking for trail signs.

How hard could it be? After all, we were walking on a 5 mile loop. A loop is a circle, or so I thought.

Back on the path, we continued our leisurely hike as my husband called out, “Here comes your elevation! All 124 feet!” Peering around him, I saw a tiny hump in the path. Okay, so we weren’t in the Rocky Mountains. We stopped on a bridge and looked for fish while the trees protected us from the driving sun above. Relaxed and at peace, I was content in our meandering. And then we hit another split in the trail and absence of trail markers. This was beginning to become a theme. 

I didn’t object when he pulled out his app with the GPS. Good news: we were halfway through the loop. I felt a deep love for that stinkin’ app.

I was aware that while I wasn’t tired, I was pretty darn hot. The benches that appeared did not seem appealing for a rest stop. They looked like they had been carved in the 1800s and were covered with elaborate webs. Truth be told, I noticed I was a wee bit wilted on my first hike through this hilly terrain (yes, there were very tiny hills now). And then I saw it: a thin tree had fallen across the path. Unlike the others we had climbed over which had moderate to large trunks, this was a slender tree. The remarkable thing was that it was still growing. Its trunk was bent and the leaves were fluttering in the wind.

I felt an affinity for that little tree who just laid down and took a nap, right in the middle of the path.

 

Soon after this wonderful sight and a few more tiny inclines and declines, we came to another fork in the road. It was confusing, so we got out my favorite app. Turns out it was no help at all and the GPS, which had given us such hope, was suddenly suspect. We were back at a previous choice point and had to either go in an unknown direction which logically took us away from our car or backtrack via a path which meant we had miles to go before we could rest.

As we headed back from whence we came, I was no longer a fan of meandering nor of that silly app. I was also aware that the trail markers, which were absent at the choice point, were now abundantly clear – as if some ranger had gotten paint happy.

“We aren’t out of the woods yet!”  Who knew my husband had such a sense of humor?

Hot as all get out, I took stock and began rationing my water.  Very soon, I realized that getting lost in the woods was detrimental to the annoyed or anxious mind. The surrounding landscape was as calming when we were lost as it had been when we were all gung ho and full of vigor. As we walked, my husband and I began to notice places we had seen before and it became a game of sorts. We even ran across another couple which gave us hope that we would rediscover civilization. Back into our confident meandering, we didn’t feel the need to ask how to get out of the woods. We figured we were on the correct path.

How many detours could there be on a loop anyway? [Two more, but who’s counting?]

Spoiler alert: we made it out of the woods and returned to civilization. None the worse for the wear, we were so busy pulling the sticky leaves from our shoes and clothing that we almost missed the sudden appearance of that other couple. They were calmly strolling up the paved road beyond the gate. Apparently, that “unknown direction” not only led back to the parking lot, but did so in an easy and timely fashion. 

When my husband mentioned that the app had an upgraded version for $2.99/month with more trail details and an improved GPS function, I handed him 3 bucks and told him he was in charge of next week’s location.

And then I took a mini nap on the way home – just like my favorite tree.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

The Japanese Society of Forest Medicine researches the therapeutic benefits of forests on human health and wellbeing. Forest bathing involves walking slowly, mindfully as you open the senses, notice your response, and enjoy the ecosystem.  Statistics indicate that the average American spends 93 percent of the time indoors and about ten hours a day on social media. That can’t be good for your health. Forest bathing research revealed benefits such as strengthening the immune system, reducing stress, anxiety, and depression, boosting overall sense of well being, and improving cardiovascular and metabolic health.