Month: June 2026

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The Descent

The plane had begun its slow fall toward the earth when a sharp ache pierced my ears.

Half-dozing, half-aware, I surfaced into the moment just as the toddler in front of me woke with a scream that broke her open. The sound wasn’t defiance or misbehavior. It was pain.

I felt her small body struggling to make sense of something she couldn’t name.

Her mother bent over her with the tenderness of someone trying very hard to be a good parent. But her soothing came dressed in urgency, in the quiet pressure to behave, to use words, to be okay, to not disturb those seated around her.

Her voice shook with the effort of managing her child’s distress and her own rising shame.

The father leaned in for a moment. Then he settled back into his seat, AirPods in, phone in hand. Whether he was giving space or simply unsure what to do, I couldn’t know.

So the mother carried the weight alone.

The toddler writhed, buckled, flailing against the seatbelt she could not tolerate. From where I sat, it seemed her little nervous system was overwhelmed by the simple truth of ear pain and sudden awakening.



The mother redirected and redirected again.

“Stop it. Sit still. Look out the window, try your words, watch the video.” She made a gallant effort without realizing her daughter was too young to orient and too overwhelmed to anchor on anything.

The flight attendant called out to make sure the toddler remained on the mother’s lap. 

The mom’s voice got louder. Her distress seeping through her words as they became harsher, more desperate to quiet her child.

I felt how desperately she wanted to help her daughter. Trying so hard to be a good mother, yet overwhelmed by a thrashing screaming little body and a plane filled with silence. 



The woman beside me began offering commentary, her tone gentle but misplaced, unaware that her attention tightened the field even more.

Another voice, another witness, another layer of pressure.



“Look outside… see the lights… almost there…” she called softly, trying to help the situation. The entire row vibrated with tension.

The Mother began to say “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” To her child, to the flight attendant, to the plane.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can offer is one less person trying to change the moment.

So I closed my eyes and let myself drop into my own body. Into the steadiness beneath the moment.

Into that inner quiet that knows how to hold a field without trying to change anything. My breath widened. My body calmed. The space around us softened.

I became the still point in the middle of someone else’s storm.

And then a single tear slid from the corner of my right eye, unnoticed by anyone but me. Not for the noise or the inconvenience. An acknowledgment of the pain of that family, yet it was larger than that.

It was for my awareness of how often we miss each other. For all the ways human beings miss one another despite loving each other deeply. For all the moments in my own life when I, too, had empathic misses with the people I love.

Every human has been misunderstood in their moment of pain. Every human has misunderstood someone else.

The toddler kept screaming. The mother kept trying. The descent kept descending.

My awareness continued to widen beyond the row, beyond the plane, beyond the small family struggling to land inside their bodies. I saw the universal ache of humans trying to read each other with partial maps. And the pain of not being met, even when it is unintended.

We touched down with a jolt. The mother apologized to the air, to the rows, to the invisible judgment she felt all around her. The child sagged into exhaustion. The field exhaled. It was done.

And all I could think was: I am not here to fix the world. I am here to see it clearly, love it fiercely, and let whatever ripples out, ripple.

As we stood and gathered our bags, I found myself silently wishing that family well. I hoped the little girl’s ears would soon stop hurting. I hoped her mother would be gentle with herself. I hoped they would all sleep well that night.

It reminded me how often we meet one another with our best intentions and our limited understanding. Perhaps that’s simply part of being human.

Maybe it’s enough to notice. To soften. To honor the best efforts of a mother, a father, a frightened child, a kind stranger, and all of us who are learning, one ordinary moment at a time, how to meet life and one another more gently.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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If you’re longing for this way of living, I’d love to welcome you into the Via Sophia Costa Rica Immersive Retreat or a future Via Sophia Circle. Both offer invitations to slow down, deepen your relationship with life, and discover what begins to emerge when striving gives way to presence. You can explore both on my site or simply reply to this email. I’d be happy to have a conversation.

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What If Life Isn’t Asking You to Become Someone Else?

Over the past several months, I have been immersed in conversation with women.

In therapy sessions, Via Sophia circles, and at dinner tables. During walks, ceremonies, and quiet moments after gatherings have ended. I’ve been listening as stories unfold. Different women. Different lives, histories, and circumstances.

Yet beneath the details, I keep hearing a remarkably similar story. Many women are tired.

Not simply tired because life is busy. They’re tired because they have spent decades trying to meet expectations that were never fully their own.

These beautiful women have cared for children, partners, parents, communities, clients, organizations, and causes. They’ve built careers where they persevered, succeeded, and contributed. All the while carrying responsibilities with extraordinary devotion and competence.

Many women have also brought this same determination to their spiritual lives.

Exploring how to heal, grow, and awaken. Working diligently to become more loving, conscious, and present. Always reaching toward some future version of themselves that often seemed just beyond the horizon.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this. In fact, it reflects something beautiful. 



These women care deeply, want to contribute well, and intend to live meaningful lives. All share a desire to become the fullest expression of who they could be. I know these desires. I, too, have lived them.

But eventually other questions begin to emerge.

What if Life is not actually asking me to become someone else? Perhaps there is nothing wrong with me, and there never was, so I’ve got nothing to fix? What if wisdom is not found in striving, but in relaxation and restoration and relationship?

Again and again, I witness women arrive at this threshold. Not through force or achievement. Nor through mastering another technique or collecting another insight.

Most women arrive here thoroughly exhausted. And then approach the threshold through honesty.

They begin to examine the cultural messages absorbed, expectations inherited, and identities they carefully constructed. And recognize how brilliantly they adapted to the world around them. And how intelligently they learned to survive, succeed, care for others, and contribute.

Yet somewhere beneath all of that brilliance, effort, and now exhaustion, another life has been quietly waiting.

 

A life that is less concerned with managing outcomes and more interested in participating in the present moment.

A life that is willing to rest.

A life that knows nourishment is not a reward for hard work. Rather, it is a necessity for vital engagement with whatever arrives. These women recognize that life that can make room for contraction without turning it into failure. And allow tenderness, beauty, delight, and joy to emerge.

This is one of the gifts I see emerging through the Via Sophia Circles.

Via Sophia invites women to enter relationship with Life itself through the wisdom of the feminine and the 13 Mystical Mothers.

So you may directly enter into relationship with life deeply enough that wisdom, love, and beauty can move through you. Not as ideals or goals, but as lived experience.

Given that women have lived decades with crowded schedules, overflowing with responsibility, Via Sophia encourages a slower pace and invites you to gently notice what is arising. Whatever is alive in your life deserves your curiosity. Not to solve, arrange, or even understand. Just noticing and making some gentle room for what is actually here.

Meeting life. Just as it is. Without needing to change it or yourself. Imagine that.

The 13 Mystical Mothers serve as partners in this exploration. They arrive to support, embrace, and invite you to take a breath. They remind you that wisdom is not something to achieve, but something you recognize and remember. And how belonging, beauty, and pleasure emerge naturally when you soften enough to notice what is already here.

As the nervous system settles and your perceptual capacity naturally expands, life begins to feel different.

You breathe more fully and notice a sense of ease. You soothe rather than criticize. You rest and play without justification. Laughter returns and you enjoy your days without waiting until your life conditions improve.

Releasing the effort and need to manage life, you are free to participate with what is already showing up.

Here you discover that support has been offered through friendship, nature, love, community, the living world, and the quiet wisdom that arises when you stop arguing with reality.

What surprises many women is that transformation still occurs. In fact, it often unfolds more naturally than expected.

As you create room for rest, curiosity, beauty, and honest relationship with yourself, life begins reorganizing on its own. So you may discover a sturdiness that was never dependent upon perfect circumstances. And experience greater ease, deeper trust, and a growing capacity to meet whatever arises.

And perhaps that is what Via Sophia has been teaching all along. That Life manages itself remarkably well.

When you stop trying to force life into a particular shape, you become available to its wisdom.

You begin to notice what is already unfolding. You meet the moment with greater trust. This invites you to live more fully, consciously, and beautifully. 

Not someday. You begin right now. Gently laying down decades of conditioned effort and discovering what remains when striving is no longer required.

Via Sophia, The Way of Feminine Wisdom, is not a path of self-improvement. It is not about perfection, transcendence, or becoming someone better. It is an invitation into a different way of living.

A natural unfolding which invites intimacy with Life.

As a conscious participant in reality, so you move with Life rather than against it. Exploring a deep intimacy with Life, you become even more available to the wisdom, love, and beauty that move through you and to you.

If this conversation speaks to something you recognize in yourself, you can learn more here about the Via Sophia Circles and my upcoming Via Sophia Costa Rica Immersion.

Or better yet, reach out. Let’s relax together and have a conversation.

 

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Research suggests that gentle music does more than soothe the mind. It helps calm the nervous system, eases stress, supports emotional balance, and even invites the body into a deeper sense of safety. Humming or softly singing along may deepen the effect by encouraging a longer exhale, helping the body settle even more naturally. Choose whatever music brings you pleasure and has you singing, dancing, or smiling.

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I Met A Duck in the Street

Last week, I left the house a little earlier than usual.

Not because the day ahead was spacious. Quite the opposite. It was full. Appointments, responsibilities, errands to run, bags still to pack for my upcoming conference. One of those days where the hours already seem spoken for before they even begin.

And yet, before leaving, I found myself lingering in the garden.

The overgrown bushes had finally been removed, opening up an entire section of the bed I hadn’t really seen clearly in years. New flowers and shrubs had recently been planted, and I stood there for a few moments appreciating the fresh openness of it all. The morning light and the possibility of adding a few colorful blossoms. The beauty of something being tended and made new.

Then I glanced at the clock. My appointment was in fifteen minutes, and I had fourteen minutes to get there. So I got moving.

As I rounded the final curve on my street, I suddenly noticed a small mallard duck standing directly in the middle of the road.

Not hurrying. Not startled. Just standing there as though the morning belonged entirely to him.

I pulled alongside him and lowered the window. “Buddy,” I said aloud, “this is probably not the safest place to be.”

His green head shimmered in the sunlight, absolutely beautiful. He looked directly at me and quacked back as though we were genuinely having a conversation. Then, instead of moving away, he took a few small steps closer to the car and lifted his head.

No urgency. No concern.

No indication whatsoever that he intended to leave his chosen spot in the curve.

I remember laughing softly to myself as I realized I was not, in fact, in charge of this duck’s life.

 

So after a short, delightful conversation about the nature of life, I slowly drove on with a quiet little prayer that he would stay safe and that the drivers behind me would be paying attention in the early morning light.

Then, just as I checked my rearview mirror, I saw another duck fly low across the street behind me.

And there he went. He lifted gracefully into the air and followed her. He wasn’t stranded in the road at all. He was simply waiting for his gal.

By the time I reached the main road, something inside me had softened.

The fountains in the pond shimmered beside the street. The sky was a brilliant blue. The morning felt unexpectedly alive and intimate somehow, as though Life had quietly reached out and tapped me on the shoulder before the fullness of the day began.

Nothing dramatic happened.

Just a few moments of direct contact with a living world that is constantly speaking, responding, moving, relating. And somehow, it was exactly what I needed.

A reminder that life is not only schedules and tasks and moving efficiently from one obligation to the next.

It is also beauty. Pausing in stillness and appreciation. Being in relationship. Enjoying small unexpected encounters. Belonging.

It is the recognition that the world cares well for itself without my intervention.

And the beneficial pleasure of realizing this when I am willing to slow down enough to notice.

Just a note …. no mallard ducks were harmed in the encounter nor in the use of AI who conveniently recreated the scene for your imaginal pleasure. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Studies show that even brief encounters with nature can reduce stress, support emotional wellbeing, improve attention, and promote feelings of connection. A slower pace allows the body to settle, the mind to clear, and life’s simple beauty to nourish you. Why not add a 5 minutes in the natural world without your phone or any conversation. Take a slow stroll, sit and gaze around you, and open your senses. Breathe and discover what arises without any goal. Your whole being will thank you.