Category: Blog-Skillful Living

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Stealing From Panera

I walked out of the gym one morning into a cold, dreary New Jersey rain.

After my challenging workout, I gingerly lowered myself into the driver’s seat. Taking stock, I felt cold, damp, and hungry. My butt muscles hurt and I didn’t think my packed lunch of edamame, turkey, and pineapple was sufficient to fuel my entire work day.

A warm cup of turkey chili from Panera seemed like a nice addition to my little lunch.

I pulled over, opened the Panera app, ordered my chili. I appreciated the convenience as it would be ready for me when I arrived. I chose the option to pick it up myself in the cafe. Of course. I’m a considerate human. I don’t need a server to have to run through the rain while I stay dry in my comfy car.

Arriving, I figured I’d run in real fast and grab that chili.

With only my umbrella and keys, I left my purse behind as I made a beeline for the pick up shelf. As I spotted my little brown bag sitting all alone, I heard my name called.

Turns out, the ice tea was suggestive selling. “Kathy, take me home. I’m delicious.”

Yum. A large cup of ice, tea sweetened with stevia, and a hint of caffeine enticed me to grab a cup. Just what the doctor ordered. As I waited behind a woman filling her cup with ice, I realized I had no purse or phone to pay for my drink. Uh oh.

I was in a quandary.

My head was on swivel between that alluring ice tea machine and my car parked far, far away in the cold drizzle. I might have looked lost, but there was no one around to notice me except for the woman slowly topping off her soda.

Undisturbed, I had the freedom to swivel my thoughts back and forth as I debated the choices before me.

I want an ice tea. I don’t have money. My desire is in front of me. My purse is far away. I’m dry and kinda warm. I don’t wanna be cold and damp again (and again and again). The cup is in reach and I could just take one without paying for it.

Which, in case you haven’t caught on, would be stealing.

That was interesting. Here I was, an adult woman with a purse full of money, contemplating how to get my iced tea without the discomfort of two extra trips in the cold drizzle. My body joined the conversation and suggested I limit extra travel time given how sore my butt and legs were in the moment.

My angel and devil, one on each shoulder, were having a lively debate.

Which was interesting ‘cause my feet would’t move. There was no way I was stealing from Panera.

I really wanted that ice tea and I really wanted to stay dry. It seemed a long time that this debate went on, but I think that’s just proof that I was a bit foggy and required caffeine in the moment.

When the woman moved away from the drink machine, it hit me. Eureka!

I had ordered my chili online. I could take the drink, go to my car (in one trip), and order a drink. I’d be warm and cozy. Panera and I would be square. And my angel would’ve earned her halo. That’s a win, win, win.

I left Panera feeling proud, soon to be satiated, and righteously moral.

Before heading to my office, I opened that app and paid for my small drink. I sweetened my ice tea, blasted the heat, and took a sip. Sweet success. I didn’t give it another thought until an hour later when I reached for my drink.

I looked at my big cup in confusion. How did my small ice tea get so large?

Then it dawned on me. I grabbed a large to go cup, as usual. So here I was drinking a large ice tea after paying for a small drink.

So, I guess I stole from Panera after all. 1 point to that tricky devil.

Guess where I headed the next day? I figured I could explain to the manager that I stole the difference between a small and large ice tea. Maybe together we could do the math and I’d hand over my dollar and change. But I decided to just pull up the app and order a large drink. Then I sauntered into Panera (with my purse) and grabbed my tiny cup of ice tea.

My angel was happy with that decision. My devil just called me a wimp.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Living Your Convictions

I recently found myself thinking about activism. About the many ways we show up for what matters to us.

As I considered this, three memories arrived. Rapidly, as if they were part of my contemplation.

The first was a conversation I had with a woman in my town. She was giving me an update on her recent gathering with other mothers protesting against gun violence. I was interested as we had explored what mattered to her as she approached retirement. Protecting children in schools and on street corners mattered, so she joined with other moms who cared about the same.

She described the experience standing at a busy street corner in a local town.

I could see it. Lots of mamas showing up with hand made signs, chanting together, and hoping to make a difference. Some passing drivers honked in support. Others rolled down their windows, shouted insults, or flashed rude gestures. She couldn’t believe the hostility. Neither could the other mothers.

So the women shouted back. Righteous in their indignation.

“So you’re an angry activist?” I asked.

She stopped speaking. There was a long pause. Then she laughed. “Oh my gosh,” she said. “I am an angry activist!”

It wasn’t a criticism. It was just something to notice. How easy it is for our nervous system to become shaped by the very energy we’re trying to change. This led to a rich discussion of how to stand for what truly mattered without giving way to dysregulation and anger, regardless of how others in her group or those passing by reacted.

The second scene also took place on a busy street.

I recalled walking past a Tesla showroom in Washington, D.C. last fall. The sidewalk outside the storefront was filled with dancing people. At first, I thought there was a grand opening or something to be celebrated. As we joined the other pedestrians in single file to walk slowly past the dancers, I took in the scene.

Music filled the street. The DJ broadcasted uplifting music as the happy protesters danced with signs.

Some just busted a move and exuded a joyful countenance. After reading the signs, I looked around me. Some people smiled. Others scowled. A few applauded or shimmied a bit, while some muttered their disagreement as they walked by.

The dancers kept dancing. Whether people agreed or disagreed didn't seem to determine their state.

 

No one seemed dysregulated except for the dude who was clearly dancing to his own rhythm.

These activists expressed what they believed without becoming entangled in every passing reaction. That was interesting.

The third memory was of a recent visit I had with a family friend.

This beautiful soul is in her late eighties and has spent much of her life standing up for what she believed was just. I grew up on stories of her protests, occasional arrests, and dogged determination.

When I visited her assisted living community, I noticed a small sign attached to her walker. Every Vote Matters.

“Still at it,” I observed and we shared a smile.

I noted that it was a quiet statement. Later she showed me the larger sign that now hung in her room. It had once been displayed on her walker, but the community had asked residents not to display overt political messages in shared spaces. Let’s just say that wasn’t so quiet as her message was clear, in all caps, and brightly decorated.

But she adapted. Not because her convictions had changed, but because her wisdom had.

I later saw a photo of her at a family party. There she was, rolling around with that bright sign visible for all to read. It struck me that she understood that there is a difference between abandoning your values and expressing them skillfully within the environment you inhabit.

As I thought about these three scenes, I realized they weren’t simply different activists.

They represented three different ways of inhabiting what they cared about.

One became caught in the reactivity around her. And was open to shifting her approach.
The dancers expressed their convictions without becoming pulled into every response.
And one displayed that wisdom sometimes means changing the form without changing the heart.

Whether the moment calls you into protest, parenting, teaching, voting, caring for a friend, or simply having a difficult conversation, how you live your convictions matters.

As I drove home, I found myself less interested in activism than in how I live my convictions.

Not what I stood against. But how I stand.
Not whether I cared. But how I carry what I care about.
And how I meet those who see the world differently than I do.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Leaving Home to Arrive Home

Eight years ago, I traveled to Costa Rica for a week-long retreat centered around ayahuasca, breathwork, yoga, and deep inner exploration.

Like many people who are drawn to these experiences, I went seeking something. You might call it a Divine encounter. You might call it awakening. You might call it healing.

I wasn’t entirely sure what I was looking for. I only knew there seemed to be a place people spoke about. That place beyond ordinary life. A place where greater peace, greater freedom, and greater love existed. And I wanted to know it for myself.

On the first evening, I lay on a mattress beneath an open-air pavilion in the Costa Rican jungle.

Night settled around the group as the ceremony began. I was relaxed, open, and curious.
As the plant medicine took effect, I remember making one simple commitment to myself. Don’t turn away. Whatever appears, it is here for you. Meet it.

For hours, I was shown scenes from ordinary moments of my own life.

Every one revealed where I had turned away from what was actually present.

Countless moments where Life was present but I was not.

When someone reached toward me and I wasn’t fully there. 
How beauty quietly presented itself and I hurried past. 
Ways I turned away from myself. 
Living my life while imagining that real life was somewhere else.
Times I let go the Mystery and a sense of wonder.

Scene after scene unfolded. Some scenes were so small and ordinary that I might never have noticed them at all. Others were much more significant and far reaching. There was no judgment accompanying what was bring offered.

Only the opportunity to see clearly. And with the seeing came tears. I cried for hours because I suddenly understood what I had been missing.

I wasn’t grieving my failures or feeling concern about hurting anyone. I was grieving the countless missed opportunities for relationship that had quietly passed by while I was looking somewhere else.

The next morning, I walked alone along a path through the jungle.

Trees swayed gently in the warm breeze, providing a gentle landing for the birds who sang beneath the bright sun. My body felt tired with some lingering sense of motion sickness.

A hangover of sorts from a night of traveling through so many landscapes.

Walking along that path, my inner voice spoke clearly: Now the work begins.

 

Yes, I understood and I agreed.

Almost immediately I heard that same voice laugh. You came here for a magic pill, didn’t you?

Touche. Indeed, I did. I had to laugh. Some part of me believed I would arrive in Costa Rica, meet the Divine, have love break me open, and leave transformed into an entirely new person.

Instead, I was being invited back into relationship with my own life.

The ceremonies continued for three more nights. Each one delivered exactly what it needed.

As I returned home, that invitation reverberated through my being. 

Now the work begins.

Not the work of becoming someone new. It was the staying within the ordinary moments I was living.

It was the invitation to return to the people in front of me, my own body, the quiet beauty, and the potential to meet the moment as it arrived.

To turn toward the life that had never stopped inviting me into relationship.

Looking back now, I don’t think I went to Costa Rica seeking some mystical state, inner contentment, or existential peace. I think all along I went seeking my own life. And Life, in its mysterious generosity, gave me exactly what I needed. 



Not another destination. 

A way of returning home.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Life Beneath the Schedule

I planned to work a bit, complete some projects, and enjoy slow days with plenty of relaxation.

All of that certainly occurred, but beneath it all, something else began quietly inviting my attention.

I still worked, had sessions, responded to emails, taught my Via Sophia class, held conversations, and shared many a meal.

Spaciousness gave me room to notice the quiet invitations that are always there.

One morning I wandered down to the river, watching dolphins surface and disappear again. I sat in the shade with horses, praying for the world and what was possible. I cheered for the US in the World Cup game while the sunset painted the sky over the mangroves behind me.

A tiny resident lizard became part of my daily rhythm.

I read two novels until the Florida sun soothed me into a nap. Waking up flushed and uncomfortable led me to a cooling float in the pool. Eyes open, I glimpsed a manatee. Eyes closed, I listened to the song created by the breeze in the trees, birds holding melodic conversations, boat engines, and murmuring human voices.

None of it was extraordinary. And yet it felt deeply alive.

As the days unfolded, I began wondering how often I move through my own life waiting for some future arrangement before fully inhabiting the one already here.

I often hear women say they’ll relax when the project is finished, the children are grown, vacation finally arrives, retirement begins, or life settles down.

You know this dance. As though living can begin once everything else is complete.

But what if nothing has been waiting? What if life has simply been unfolding beside you all along, quietly offering itself in hundreds of ordinary ways.

A breeze across your face. Morning coffee. Birds outside the window. The sleepy dog hoping you’ll stop long enough for a gentle scratch. The conversation you almost rushed through. The tree you’ve driven past a hundred times, dancing in the wind whether anyone notices or not.

This is one of the quiet discoveries emerging in our Via Sophia circles.

Not another practice to master or another way to improve yourself. It is the simple remembering that life is already in relationship with you. How beauty is already arriving. Your body is already speaking.

The natural world is always in conversation.

You realize that you don’t have to manufacture a sacred life.
You learn to participate in the one already unfolding. Where wonder is already present.

This doesn’t require a vacation, a retreat, or the completion of every task on your life. While time away may certainly help create spaciousness, you might begin with something much smaller.

What if you gave yourself three hours?

What if your phone stayed inside?

What if there were nowhere you needed to be?


What if you wandered without deciding where you were going?

What if you let the day reveal itself instead of deciding in advance what it should become?

For some people, those questions sound heavenly. For others, they set off alarm bells.

If that’s you, begin even smaller. Perhaps only twenty minutes, a slow walk, or a cup of tea on the deck without your phone. Engage the natural beauty of a garden or sunset without photographing it.

Life rarely shouts. It usually whispers.

Maybe what you’re longing for isn’t somewhere else. Maybe it’s here. Hidden beneath the schedule, beneath the striving, beneath the endless doing.

Available and quietly inviting you into conversation.

If you decide to wander sometime this summer, I’d love to hear what you discover. Send me a note and tell me where the day led you. I’m curious what found you when you finally had room to notice. I’ll be sure to read it and respond after I savor one more slice of life newly discovered through different eyes than my own.

Ladies, perhaps spaciousness isn’t something you find someday. Perhaps it’s something you remember.

This October, a small circle of women will gather in Costa Rica to explore exactly that.

Together we’ll slow enough to hear life again, restore our relationship with ourselves and the natural world, and discover what begins to emerge when we stop managing life and start participating in it.

If that calls to you, I’d love to have you with us. Explore the Via Sophia Costa Rica Immersion here. 

If you’re ready to live sacred – naturally and with ease – let’s have a conversation. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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What If Life Isn’t Asking You to Become Someone Else?

Over the past several months, I have been immersed in conversation with women.

In therapy sessions, Via Sophia circles, and at dinner tables. During walks, ceremonies, and quiet moments after gatherings have ended. I’ve been listening as stories unfold. Different women. Different lives, histories, and circumstances.

Yet beneath the details, I keep hearing a remarkably similar story. Many women are tired.

Not simply tired because life is busy. They’re tired because they have spent decades trying to meet expectations that were never fully their own.

These beautiful women have cared for children, partners, parents, communities, clients, organizations, and causes. They’ve built careers where they persevered, succeeded, and contributed. All the while carrying responsibilities with extraordinary devotion and competence.

Many women have also brought this same determination to their spiritual lives.

Exploring how to heal, grow, and awaken. Working diligently to become more loving, conscious, and present. Always reaching toward some future version of themselves that often seemed just beyond the horizon.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this. In fact, it reflects something beautiful. 



These women care deeply, want to contribute well, and intend to live meaningful lives. All share a desire to become the fullest expression of who they could be. I know these desires. I, too, have lived them.

But eventually other questions begin to emerge.

What if Life is not actually asking me to become someone else? Perhaps there is nothing wrong with me, and there never was, so I’ve got nothing to fix? What if wisdom is not found in striving, but in relaxation and restoration and relationship?

Again and again, I witness women arrive at this threshold. Not through force or achievement. Nor through mastering another technique or collecting another insight.

Most women arrive here thoroughly exhausted. And then approach the threshold through honesty.

They begin to examine the cultural messages absorbed, expectations inherited, and identities they carefully constructed. And recognize how brilliantly they adapted to the world around them. And how intelligently they learned to survive, succeed, care for others, and contribute.

Yet somewhere beneath all of that brilliance, effort, and now exhaustion, another life has been quietly waiting.

 

A life that is less concerned with managing outcomes and more interested in participating in the present moment.

A life that is willing to rest.

A life that knows nourishment is not a reward for hard work. Rather, it is a necessity for vital engagement with whatever arrives. These women recognize that life that can make room for contraction without turning it into failure. And allow tenderness, beauty, delight, and joy to emerge.

This is one of the gifts I see emerging through the Via Sophia Circles.

Via Sophia invites women to enter relationship with Life itself through the wisdom of the feminine and the 13 Mystical Mothers.

So you may directly enter into relationship with life deeply enough that wisdom, love, and beauty can move through you. Not as ideals or goals, but as lived experience.

Given that women have lived decades with crowded schedules, overflowing with responsibility, Via Sophia encourages a slower pace and invites you to gently notice what is arising. Whatever is alive in your life deserves your curiosity. Not to solve, arrange, or even understand. Just noticing and making some gentle room for what is actually here.

Meeting life. Just as it is. Without needing to change it or yourself. Imagine that.

The 13 Mystical Mothers serve as partners in this exploration. They arrive to support, embrace, and invite you to take a breath. They remind you that wisdom is not something to achieve, but something you recognize and remember. And how belonging, beauty, and pleasure emerge naturally when you soften enough to notice what is already here.

As the nervous system settles and your perceptual capacity naturally expands, life begins to feel different.

You breathe more fully and notice a sense of ease. You soothe rather than criticize. You rest and play without justification. Laughter returns and you enjoy your days without waiting until your life conditions improve.

Releasing the effort and need to manage life, you are free to participate with what is already showing up.

Here you discover that support has been offered through friendship, nature, love, community, the living world, and the quiet wisdom that arises when you stop arguing with reality.

What surprises many women is that transformation still occurs. In fact, it often unfolds more naturally than expected.

As you create room for rest, curiosity, beauty, and honest relationship with yourself, life begins reorganizing on its own. So you may discover a sturdiness that was never dependent upon perfect circumstances. And experience greater ease, deeper trust, and a growing capacity to meet whatever arises.

And perhaps that is what Via Sophia has been teaching all along. That Life manages itself remarkably well.

When you stop trying to force life into a particular shape, you become available to its wisdom.

You begin to notice what is already unfolding. You meet the moment with greater trust. This invites you to live more fully, consciously, and beautifully. 

Not someday. You begin right now. Gently laying down decades of conditioned effort and discovering what remains when striving is no longer required.

Via Sophia, The Way of Feminine Wisdom, is not a path of self-improvement. It is not about perfection, transcendence, or becoming someone better. It is an invitation into a different way of living.

A natural unfolding which invites intimacy with Life.

As a conscious participant in reality, so you move with Life rather than against it. Exploring a deep intimacy with Life, you become even more available to the wisdom, love, and beauty that move through you and to you.

If this conversation speaks to something you recognize in yourself, you can learn more here about the Via Sophia Circles and my upcoming Via Sophia Costa Rica Immersion.

Or better yet, reach out. Let’s relax together and have a conversation.

 

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Every Brilliant Thing I Noticed

Some days don’t announce themselves as anything more than what they are.

My husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary last weekend with a trip to New York City to see Every Brilliant Thing with Daniel Radcliffe.

On the way up, settling into the lower level of the train, I noticed the view. Train tracks, trash, and graffiti on concrete walls. I realized I’d prefer the upper car with a view of the landscape and the brilliant blue sky. This prompted a move at the same time the train gained its own momentum. Swaying down the aisle, in sync with the speeding train, we dropped into a row where I claimed the window seat.

Only to notice that the glass was blurred and no view was available.

Without distraction, our hushed conversation was relaxed. Along the way, I noticed the woman eating her lunch, two people quietly speaking behind me, a woman reading How Proust Can Change Your Life, and the way the light moved across the seats.

There was nothing remarkable about that journey. And yet, it was not nothing.

Arriving in the city, the wind caught my ears in that intense, almost surprising way it does between buildings. Cold, immediate, alive. I didn’t rush past it. I noticed it. And again, blocks later, when the cold turned sharp within my ears.

New York City is not my favorite place. To me, it’s loud, fast, dirty, and a bit abrasive to my system.

I wasn’t concerned with navigating the terrain as I followed my husband’s lead. Leaving me relaxed and free to notice the architecture, traffic, souvenirs, and food trucks lining our path. I saw the street artists, cautious venders of knockoff purses, bike couriers with their food orders, and the unhoused hoping for assistance.

The city felt different this time. Not better or worse, just available, there for the noticing.

We spent a few relaxed moments in Times Square. Out of the way of the crowds and costumed characters angling for a photo opportunity and a donation.

I looked up at the billboards, Broadway show marquees, news feeds, and advertisements. Color, movement, creativity, pleasure, and ambition stacked on top of itself.

We spoke about shows we’ve seen, memories we’ve shared, and new stage stories that looked interesting.

Without the need to plan or make a decision, I enjoyed taking it in as part of the landscape I was moving through. There was a kind of ease in not needing the moment to become anything else. And a sigh of pleasure when dropping into the perfect table in a quiet, warm restaurant. 



A break from stimulation. A nourishment of the body. An opportunity for more enjoyable conversation. 



Followed by a relaxed stroll to the theatre and quiet time waiting in the short line for entry. Settling inside the theater, my sense of delight and awareness broadened and deepened. Without effort, I was inhabiting a new experience.

Every Brilliant Thing is simple in its structure and expansive in its reach.

A single performer on a small stage telling the story of his life with a mother with depression. A list revealed.

Ordinary things that, somehow, hold the weight of living and perhaps, hopefully, invite some realization of the good of it all. Participation from some of the audience and a fair amount of improv all around.

In the center of the back row, I had a birds eye view of the orchestration that was unfolding.
I watched Daniel enthusiastically greet people as they claimed their seats. Offering them an opportunity for participation in this unique show. Handing over an index card with their lines, sometimes elaborating upon what was asked of them.

In real time, I noticed collaboration with the actor, director, and audience members as this specific performance was being set up … for whatever was to unfold.

Not so different from my experience on the swaying train or the bustling city, I was meeting something alive, relational, and in motion.


I could feel the moment when the room was set.

The people were seated. Index cards had landed. The actor and director gazed out from the stage, gave a synchronized nod, shook hands, and the show continued.

It didn’t feel like the beginning, although officially it was. It felt more like a continuation of the day I had already been inside of.

I was enraptured from the first utterance through the last bow. The story itself was brilliant. True. Deep. Joyful. Sorrowful. Real.

And there was room for the entire audience to meet this real experience easily, without effort. At times with laughter at the wit, improv, and generally funny ways humans move through life. In moments that landed through the entire body, like a soft recognition passing through. A slight tightening. A warmth. A pause. A tear. A deep, resettling breath.

The return to laughter, delight, and spontaneous appreciation of the way an audience member showed up. Put on the spot. With Daniel Radcliffe. Imperfectly perfect in that moment.

At times, I felt the stillness of the crowd as if we had been paused in flight. A shared breath held. The joy of movement returning with a well timed laugh. I sensed a current moving through the group, the shared acknowledgment of the depths and heights of human experience, and a recognition of ourselves in a single story.

The truth of it moving through the room in different ways for different people. Without any need to interpret or analyze, it landed. Touched the room. And took flight once again.

There is something about being in a space where life is being reflected back, not as an idea, but as a lived texture.

Small things. Ice cream. A song. A moment of connection. A heartbreak. An unexpected action. The kinds of things that don’t ask for your attention, and yet hold everything.

Throughout this full day, I wasn’t thinking about being present. I was just not somewhere else. And that feels important to say.

Because this rich experience didn’t come from effort. It didn’t come from reminding myself to stay in the moment. It was more like the absence of leaving.

After the show, the city received me again. The same streets. The same movement. And still, that quiet thread of being inside of it continued.

The train ride home was softer. A short nap offered a small kindness to the body after the motion and the movement of the day.

There is a way of living where the meaningful moments are the obvious ones. The show. The peak. The thing you went for.

And there is another way that has been quietly revealing itself.

Where the walking there matters. Where the cold air matters. Where the looking up at a billboard for a show you may never see matters. Where the way your body sits in a chair, or breathes in a room, or softens into a moment is not separate from the experience, but the experience itself.

The events of the day may look ordinary from the outside, yet from the inside, it felt full. Not full in a way that needs to be held onto. Just full in the sense that nothing was missing from it while it was happening.

I am noticing more and more that this is less about creating a certain kind of life, and more about inhabiting the one that is already here. Not perfectly. And certainly not with effort.

To notice not only the moments that move through the day, but where I am standing as they do.

Living inside the life that is unfolding, however ordinary or brilliant it may appear on the outside.

Recognizing that, like that swaying train, crowded city, and engaged audience, life is already unmistakably alive, responsive, and coherent.

Ripe for the noticing.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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The Moment You Begin Living Differently

There comes a moment, sometimes quietly, when you realize you don’t want to keep postponing your life.



Not in a dramatic way, nor as a declaration, but as a simple, honest recognition that what you are living now matters. You begin to sense an invitation, not to fix yourself or become someone else, but to turn toward your life as it is and meet it more fully.

This is where the path of Via Sophia, the Way of Feminine Wisdom, begins. Perhaps it whispers, or perhaps the invitation is felt strongly within you.

Somewhere within, there emerges the knowing that you don’t need to wait to begin living well.

From that recognition, something softens. You begin to notice where you turn away, where you brace, where you hold parts of yourself outside your relationships. Imagine being shown how you could gently, without force, begin to allow more of your experience to be here. The grief, the tenderness, the uncertainty, the quiet knowing.

Not as something to solve, but as something to include. Because it is in this inclusion that the field of your life begins to reorganize.

Imagine realizing that nothing in you needs to be exiled for your life to come into coherence.

Exploring this through direct experience within a supportive circle, you find yourself arriving more fully. Not performing, not managing, not presenting a version of yourself that feels more acceptable, but simply present to the moments of your everyday life.

You begin to bring your whole self into your relationships, your choices, and your inner life.

And in doing so, something unexpected happens. Life becomes more direct. More intimate. More real.


Walking the Sophia Spiral, you begin to sense that wholeness is not something you achieve. Rather, it is something already present that you stop leaving.

This changes so much. Here, in the midst of it all, you discover a place of rest. Not outside your life, but within it. Even as things move, even as emotions rise and fall, there is something in you that can remain steady, present, and responsive.

This is not detachment. It is a deeper form of participation within life.

Now, you are no longer trying to control your experience, but learning to move with it. You discover that there is a way to be with life that is both fully engaged and deeply at ease.

Over time, the need to have everything figured out begins to loosen. You become more comfortable not knowing, more open to what is emerging, more willing to live inside the mystery rather than solve it. You begin to trust your capacity to meet what comes, rather than needing to predict or manage it.

And from here, life begins to feel less like something you are trying to navigate, and more like something you are in relationship with.

Life is no longer a problem to solve. It is a living experience to meet.

This way of intimate living changes everything. Not just for you, but for the relationships you are part of, the families you are woven into, and the lineage patterns you are both shaped by and shaping in return.

When you live present, responsive, and in right relationship with yourself and life, you interrupt cycles of disconnection. You contribute to something more coherent, more humane, more alive. This is not small work. It is foundational.

Imagine meeting your life just as it is showing up for you. Without trying to transcend it, you discover you can experience a way of living that feels natural and quietly freeing.

During the Via Sophia Immersion, you’ll explore the Feminine Spiral of Unfolding, with phases that align with the natural rhythm of life. These phases help you recognize where you are within your own unfolding, so you can participate more consciously and wisely in what is already emerging.

This Way of Wisdom includes the rich resources of the 13 Mystical Mothers, each offering a unique field of Feminine Intelligence that supports your understanding of and alignment with the Spiral. All exploration naturally places you at the center of your own life while strengthening your capacity to inhabit it more fully.

Walking the Spiral of Via Sophia invites you into a more intimate way of being with your life. You live in rhythm with life as it unfolds.


You feel yourself as belonging to a vast living intelligence.
You have the capacity to turn toward, not away, from your experience.
You don’t abandon yourself while caring for others.
You are able to stay present, open, and responsive.
You move with life instead of against it.

Entering Via Sophia, the Way of Feminine Wisdom, invites you into a way of living that is receptive, available, participatory, relational, and embodied.

This is practical mysticism.

Imagine joining an intimate Circle of 13 women who are called to explore a skillful, embodied, and natural way of being in rhythm with this extraordinary experience of everyday living.

Two places remain in the Via Sophia Circle beginning March 31st. If you feel a call to explore, please reach out for a conversation. All details may be found on the Via Sophia course page.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Uncertainty. A Traveling Companion

When standing at a crossroad in your life, it’s natural to seek answers.

To search for certainty about your next steps. To want assurance that the decision you are making will lead you in the right direction, with the best possible outcome.

So you think through the pros and cons. You talk with trusted people. You consider expert advice. You scroll the web and social media for guidance. Maybe you even check in with your own heart and soul.

And still, you can’t know exactly where this choice will lead you.

Eventually, after all the thinking and seeking, there comes a moment when it’s just you and this one guest that refuses to leave: Uncertainty.

The two of you sit quietly together, perhaps over a cup of tea.

You feel the mix of discomfort and excitement. The longing for clarity. The ache to know for sure that everything will work out beautifully.

But as you spend time with Uncertainty, something unexpected happens.

Your anxiety softens.
Your mind loosens its grip.
Your Heart begins to speak.

Quieter now, more spacious, you can hear the subtle conversation unfolding between your Heart and this mysterious companion.

They talk about the wonder of discovery and the potential for extraordinary growth.

Your Heart remembers the countless times you’ve navigated challenges with grace, strength, and grit.

Uncertainty gently reminds your Heart to trust itself completely.

Together, they soothe the body.

Worry loosens. New possibilities flicker. A different kind of courage rises.

Somehow, without trying, your Heart and Uncertainty become allies — fellow adventurers in this next chapter of your life.

And as the two of them finish their tea and begin packing for the journey ahead, your Heart notices an extra bag sitting nearby. It’s already packed and glowing softly.

“Who owns that bag?” your Heart asks.

“Oh, that one?” Uncertainty smiles.

“It’s for your Soul. Whenever you wander beyond the edge of the known, your Soul insists on coming along — offering its light, its wisdom, and its quiet reassurance.”

Your Heart relaxes, remembering the truth it keeps forgetting:  You never walk alone.

So you gather yourself.
Take a breath.
Feel your feet on the ground.

You may not know what this path will look like, but you trust your companions — Heart, Soul, and even Uncertainty. Especially Uncertainty.

With a little spark in your step, you begin.

Not because you know exactly where you’re going,
but because everything you need is already within you. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Building Cathedrals

How’s your perspective these days? 



Especially in the midst of upheaval in this country, famine and war in the world, and an unbelievable swing toward hatred, greed, and cruel behavior. That is before you consider your everyday stress or the big challenges your and your loved ones may be facing.

When stress rises, perspective shrinks. 

It’s the brain’s natural response to survival signals.

You hyper focus on essentials like food, funds, work, and family (unless you’re ready to toss your family out the window, but that’s another story. Hang in.)

This contraction is understandable. Yet, the invitation is to remember to take a breath, soothe your system, and connect to the wisdom within and beyond you.

The Self Soothe System is free and available to assist you. Get that free resource here on my site here.


When your system is disorganized, harmony is unavailable. 

The Soul’s vision becomes cloudy. So the first move, always, is to harmonize. To come into coherence. Then you can see more, know more, and be more. This matters, not only for you, but for all of us in this interconnected family.

From this Soulful perspective, beautiful questions arise:

What am I learning? 

How may I grow, mature, evolve during this challenge?

What might I offer others without compromising my own wellbeing?

What is asking to be healed within me so I can transcend the smaller story of my life?

That last question – it’s a big one. In the midst of this turmoil, your patterns are likely activating.

Perhaps you may view your vulnerability as your Inner Healer trying to catch your attention. Once you’ve soothed the stress response, you’re more likely to become curious.

More Beautiful Questions arise:


What belief or pattern is creating this tension?

Do I want to carry it or is it ready to be released?

Am I carrying burdens that aren’t even mine? 

Am I still listening to that societal voice that tells me I have to hustle and achieve to be worthy (such a silly idea, but we’ve all been snookered)?

This moment is potent and rich with possibility.

So, do the work with yourself, a friend, a mentor, or a celestial ally.

You may be just fine right now as you read these words with a full belly, safe house, cell phone, and a few dollars in the bank. But, don’t miss this energetically charged moment because there’s something deeper waiting to be freed — something beautiful.

Recently I recalled receiving a strong perspective jolt (mini lightning strike) during the pandemic. (Remember that crisis and how we weathered it together?)

I had come across a youtube video of Andrea Bocelli’s Concert of Hope. In the isolation of quarantine, he stood before the massive Duomo Cathedral in Milan. 



Singing. Alone. To the world.

His voice carried across silence, through distance, across grief and hope. His open heart awakened hearts across the globe. Tears. Prayer. Awe. Beauty. Google it and you’ll see the image. 



Tiny human. Massive Cathedral.

Humans have built cathedrals to the Divine for millennia. Imagine it: a Soul envisions a Sacred monument. Artists, funders, and masons gather. Grandfathers, sons, grandsons labor generation after generation to honor something greater than themselves.

A cathedral was sparked by a simple person who was moved by a Divine impulse.

Infused with imagination and devotion, they gathered others to build something magnificent for others to inherit.

It humbles me every time every time I see a cathedral. A sense of majesty that unfurls when you widen your view.

When you open your heart to the mythic operating within the mundane. When you honor your vulnerability and your magnificence. Both together as one Sacred human journey.

When you let your Soul move you, everything changes.

Andrea Bocelli, a tiny human with a huge voice, offered hope his way. This is what generous beauty does. It wakes you up and returns your focus to what matters. It’s a good time to wake up to what deeply matters and ask the beautiful questions that lead you to offer your song to the world.

By the time you’re reading this, I’ve flown into Milan and traveled to the Temples of Humankind in Damanhur, Italy.

Here, I’m committed to listening to both my Soul and my stress. 



I’m going to walk amongst the builders of another epic cathedral buried deep within a mountain. Over 45 years ago, one idea sparked 70 people in the Damanhur community to create the inexplicable and make the impossible possible. I’ve walked in the Temples of Humankind which are dedicated to awakening the Divinity in all people and honoring every wisdom tradition. It’s extraordinary and inspiring. 



I’m grateful to bring the Q’ero shamans from Peru to Damanhur so they may add their magic, ceremony, vision, and love to the Temples, Crystal Labyrinth Project, and Damanhurian community.

I’ll walk in silence upon and within that place of power so that I may listen and perceive the mythic story that wants to birth through me.

Today, on the anniversary of 9/11, I’m committed to building cathedrals, not walls. I hope you join me in that idea, however you do it.

And a reminder. Breathe and soothe your system when life gets inexplicable and overwhelming.

If you need support, ask for it. Reach out to me, to someone. Don’t go it alone. Not now. The world needs harmonized people in tune with their inner wisdom and open to the Divine Spark that may launch a simple action or a magnificent project.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

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Wisdom in the Dark

It’s uncomfortable feeling the darkness within the belly, leaking into the day.

The waking to news that frightens, angers, and confuses you. This world gone astray. There is a longing to seek the light to chase the darkness. As if sunshine might polish circumstances into something more palatable. Shaping the story into something you can live within.

Don’t be so quick to chase the dark away.

There is wisdom within the depths of your body’s response. The power of anger, leaking of tears, flutter in the belly. Wisdom that whispers “Something is out of whack.” Knocking you off balance, unsettling your peace.

Opening the door for the mind to spin its tales. Strengthening your position, whatever it may be.

Activating a fearful future landscape that devastates your current wellbeing. Despair leading to withdrawal in order to protect. Agitation readying for a fight against that which you can not bear. Confusion as to why your fellow humans think so differently than you.

All stories are false. All stories are true. It’s how you live your stories that matters.

What if the sorrow, fear, anger, or disillusionment arrived to invite you into a deep, honest exchange? To welcome you within your stories about how the world should be. So, you may meet the storyteller within you and begin a dialogue.

Sitting within the early morning darkness, candle burning, a cup of tea, a cozy blanket. Perhaps a journal.

Here, you begin the dive within to find that which creates this sorrow that tugs at every aspect of your being. It doesn’t take much to enter the conversation for sorrow has a voice and it spills over with the heartbreak that has been contained within the body and masked by the stories.

You listen as sorrow speaks its anguish that the humans of the world have lost their way.

It begins with evidence garnered from one day of darkness, yet soon spreads to evidence of harm in all directions around the globe, throughout history, upon the planet. Including the harm done to self with judgement, dismissal of voice, and alienation of worthiness. The sorrow cries, allowing despair, disappointment, disillusionment to join the conversation. Emptying, the conversation slows as the body quiets, calmer now as the sorrow has been given its path of movement.

The sun rises, bathing the body in light. As it always does after the dark.

Allowing the eyes to see the beneficial presence of humans. Seeking in the light of day all that is helpful, generous, creative, and beautiful. This luminosity reveals what may not be noticed in the dark. Yet, it serves not as a source to eradicate discomfort. Nor shape deeply felt fear into something unimportant. The brilliance of day also reveals all that you judge, back away from, and condone as wrong.

Don’t be so quick to choose the light.

It is the turning away from that which is hidden in the dark that leads to misunderstanding and actions that harm.

Your wisdom calls you to the conversation with yourself before it sends you to share deeply with others.

What is your hope, determination, anxiety, or numbness wanting to share? Every experience has a voice and something wise to offer you.

Nature, which is your essence, models inclusion of every movement. Day gives way to night which returns itself to day. Seasons, amiss as they are, give way after allowing each to offer wisdom to those with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a body to sense. The moon dances through cycles of bright and dark, modeling the beauty and potential in each phase.

Wisdom is unpredictable and subtly changes the rhythm of the conversation.

Intelligent perception begins within the wholeness of what you’re experiencing. Inviting an inner dialogue where you discover that the stories you tell are true for you, until they are discovered to be false. Where you find yourself basking in the warm beauty revealed by despair and the breaking of the heart. Not only a place of suffering nor a refuge from pain, you journey within your darkness to discover the brightest felt sense of life. 

Here, you discover that both sorrow and joy matter. 

A lightness of being is possible within hard times and heaviness arrives even when circumstances are bright. These experiences arrive to be noticed, to offer something you may learn from and then choose to keep or discard. Moving in the rhythm of life, regardless of whether circumstances are to your liking or not, you recognize there is wisdom in insecurity and discomfort. 

There is no urgent need to deep dive into a dark that terrifies or to fly too close to the sun. 

Begin gently and with great kindness. Honor the wisdom that is being felt throughout your being, uncomfortable as it may be.

Don’t back too far away from yourself in order to mask that which feels disabling. There is potential in every movement of life, even though in times of discord it is difficult to see. Resist the urge to run helter skelter toward the light and proclaim it as the only power of good. 

The greatest potential for life lies within the wisdom of your being. 

Join with this rather than following the personal and societal stories of mind. When you can welcome uncertainty and discomfort as wise teachers, you welcome another rhythm. That which quietly hums a tune of harmony flowing within the dark and light of human existence. 

Listen carefully to the wisdom that whispers within you.

Steady and true, it leads you toward that perfect perception and inspired action which cultivates the love, respect, and generous care for every living being.

And if you haven’t downloaded The Self Soothe Strategy, now is a good time. It helps. A lot. Scroll down and get started. We need your calm.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions.