Tag: Meeting Life

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Name Brands

“I think we need to be friends.”

Those were the first words out of my mouth when I introduced myself to Rev. Hilda Covington. We’d just finished a county meeting of nonprofit mental health and social service agencies. She was the presenter that month.

We almost didn’t meet because Hilda arrived an hour and a half late to a two-hour meeting.

I later learned that Hilda moves through the world in her own time. That meeting was not the first she was late to, nor the last. But she lit up that room when she introduced her agency, SisterHood, or “Sisters in the Hood,” as the founders named themselves when they decided to serve the families in their neighborhood who were often overlooked or dismissed by traditional systems.

I was immediately taken by her light-hearted, warm-hearted, big-hearted way.

Having spent so many years with communities society loves to marginalize, I recognized a kindred spirit. I went up to thank her for her humorous and honest presentation, and those unexpected words just came out. I’m forever grateful they did.

Fast forward 27 years.

By now, I’ve learned to listen when something unexpected tumbles out of my mouth. Time and again, I’ve watched the Soul guide me into the right moment, the right person, the right doorway. You know how that works — the quiet nudge that opens a relationship that reshapes your life and deepens your understanding of yourself and the world.

Becoming friends with Hilda did exactly that.

We live very different lives. Our beliefs about the bigger picture diverge. Our thinking was shaped by very different worlds. Our ways of serving look similar on the outside but arise from distinct lineages and lived experience.

We speak an entirely different language.

I grew up with a felt sense of safety she never had access to. We were raised a generation apart, with differences in race, class, neighborhood, education, and economic stability.

These differences have paved the way for deep, often uncomfortable, always meaningful conversations.

My mother used to tell me a story from when we lived in Germany. I was a preschooler playing in a sandbox with a little girl who spoke an entirely different language. We chattered and played as if we understood every word.

Lunch with Hilda feels like that sandbox.

I walk in unsure what the conversation will bring — seeking her counsel, planning a project, or checking in about a neighborhood need — and I always end up on a winding path through delight, discomfort, insight, and truth.

She shows me the world I cannot see. I do the same for her.

Looking back, the hidden gem of that first encounter was discovering I can enter another’s world without defense.

With Hilda, I could bring both my knowledge and my ignorance.

I could let myself be disturbed without collapsing. I could grow beyond the ideas that once kept me small. I learned to listen past the familiar and allow my Soul to point toward the beliefs that needed to be uprooted.

To be fully accepted — and to offer that same acceptance — is a rare grace.

Despite all our differences, we share the same kind of heart. And thankfully, the same sense of humor. That lightness has carried us through years of challenges, tragedies, and triumphs in her community. It is often through her laughter that my eyes open just a little wider.

A few years ago, I called to wish her a happy birthday. Quarantine had kept us from our lunches, but she was still tending to her community and her flock. (Yes, she’s also a pastor.)

“Kathy! Your people collected so much food!”

Turns out it wasn’t my volunteer contact who told her about our Sidewalk Food Drive. It was the neighborhood.

“Pastor! Your friend delivered food. Name brands!”

I didn’t understand at first.

Hilda laughed and shared story after story about the excitement of receiving name-brand groceries — not the cheap knock-offs typically stocked in dollar stores or donated to poor families. Her joy carried an edge of truth that cut straight through me.

The inequity of our neighborhoods, our expectations, our lived experience landed in my body.

When our call was done, the tears came. Gratitude mixed with heartache.

Another glimpse into a world I don’t live in but care about deeply.

For 27 years, our Soul Sanctuary community has supported SisterHood families in countless ways. What started as a small intention — easing the financial burden of economically disadvantaged parents so they could have a little more room to breathe and be with their children — has rippled far beyond anything I imagined.

A bit of relief. A moment of peace. A chance to read, play, or talk together. Small shifts with long-term impact.

I could tell so many stories of how your generosity helped parents and soothed children, but those stories belong to them. What I can say is this:

When you show up for people, they become “your people.” Period.

Next week, my family will deliver a few car loads of toys and gifts to SisterHood volunteers for the Holiday Giving List — 450 children and teens this year.

My basement looks like the North Pole and an Amazon warehouse had a love child.

This Sunday (12/14), we’ll gather at Soul Sanctuary’s Holiday Open House and collect any last-minute gifts you feel called to offer.

Last week, my husband and I took Hilda and another SisterHood founder, Linda, out to celebrate Hilda’s 80th birthday. We laughed, reminisced, and honored the years of shared work, heartbreak, joy, and community.

So as we wrap up this year’s Holiday Gift Drive, please receive the gratitude of Hilda, the SisterHood volunteers, and the families whose lives you touch.

The greatest “brand name” you can offer another human being is to call them sister or brother — to recognize their belonging in your human family.

For every way you show up, in any neighborhood, for any people, in your own authentic way,

Thank you.

The world needs exactly what you bring.

Keep giving.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

“Recreational companionship” gives a boost to those on both the giving and receiving end. This phrase, coined by Willard F Harley Jr, PhD, combines two very important human needs: having fun and having someone to share it with. If you like rock climbing and your bestie enjoys knitting, you’re probably searching for a middle ground. Explore this concept with your family, friends, and colleagues. Find those activities which others also find intriguing, fun, or worth a try. Doing something interesting together can boost your sense of belonging, active the feel good chemicals, and create some lovely memories (and funny stories!). Communication, creativity, and a sense of adventure go a long way. Enjoy

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Uncertainty. A Traveling Companion

When standing at a crossroad in your life, it’s natural to seek answers.

To search for certainty about your next steps. To want assurance that the decision you are making will lead you in the right direction, with the best possible outcome.

So you think through the pros and cons. You talk with trusted people. You consider expert advice. You scroll the web and social media for guidance. Maybe you even check in with your own heart and soul.

And still, you can’t know exactly where this choice will lead you.

Eventually, after all the thinking and seeking, there comes a moment when it’s just you and this one guest that refuses to leave: Uncertainty.

The two of you sit quietly together, perhaps over a cup of tea.

You feel the mix of discomfort and excitement. The longing for clarity. The ache to know for sure that everything will work out beautifully.

But as you spend time with Uncertainty, something unexpected happens.

Your anxiety softens.
Your mind loosens its grip.
Your Heart begins to speak.

Quieter now, more spacious, you can hear the subtle conversation unfolding between your Heart and this mysterious companion.

They talk about the wonder of discovery and the potential for extraordinary growth.

Your Heart remembers the countless times you’ve navigated challenges with grace, strength, and grit.

Uncertainty gently reminds your Heart to trust itself completely.

Together, they soothe the body.

Worry loosens. New possibilities flicker. A different kind of courage rises.

Somehow, without trying, your Heart and Uncertainty become allies — fellow adventurers in this next chapter of your life.

And as the two of them finish their tea and begin packing for the journey ahead, your Heart notices an extra bag sitting nearby. It’s already packed and glowing softly.

“Who owns that bag?” your Heart asks.

“Oh, that one?” Uncertainty smiles.

“It’s for your Soul. Whenever you wander beyond the edge of the known, your Soul insists on coming along — offering its light, its wisdom, and its quiet reassurance.”

Your Heart relaxes, remembering the truth it keeps forgetting:  You never walk alone.

So you gather yourself.
Take a breath.
Feel your feet on the ground.

You may not know what this path will look like, but you trust your companions — Heart, Soul, and even Uncertainty. Especially Uncertainty.

With a little spark in your step, you begin.

Not because you know exactly where you’re going,
but because everything you need is already within you. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

When life is hard or problems seem insurmountable, it’s a good time to play, dance, or just get your body pumping.  Giving your brain space to organize and seek a solution. Reducing stress hormones, boosting endorphins, sharpening memory, and jumpstarting creativity.  Especially in the midst of personal, social, and global disruption, play is more important than ever.  Grab your hoola hoop, take a jog with the dog, or dance in your kitchen.  Play will boost your mood and build resilience.

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Building Cathedrals

How’s your perspective these days? 



Especially in the midst of upheaval in this country, famine and war in the world, and an unbelievable swing toward hatred, greed, and cruel behavior. That is before you consider your everyday stress or the big challenges your and your loved ones may be facing.

When stress rises, perspective shrinks. 

It’s the brain’s natural response to survival signals.

You hyper focus on essentials like food, funds, work, and family (unless you’re ready to toss your family out the window, but that’s another story. Hang in.)

This contraction is understandable. Yet, the invitation is to remember to take a breath, soothe your system, and connect to the wisdom within and beyond you.

The Self Soothe System is free and available to assist you. Get that free resource here on my site here.


When your system is disorganized, harmony is unavailable. 

The Soul’s vision becomes cloudy. So the first move, always, is to harmonize. To come into coherence. Then you can see more, know more, and be more. This matters, not only for you, but for all of us in this interconnected family.

From this Soulful perspective, beautiful questions arise:

What am I learning? 

How may I grow, mature, evolve during this challenge?

What might I offer others without compromising my own wellbeing?

What is asking to be healed within me so I can transcend the smaller story of my life?

That last question – it’s a big one. In the midst of this turmoil, your patterns are likely activating.

Perhaps you may view your vulnerability as your Inner Healer trying to catch your attention. Once you’ve soothed the stress response, you’re more likely to become curious.

More Beautiful Questions arise:


What belief or pattern is creating this tension?

Do I want to carry it or is it ready to be released?

Am I carrying burdens that aren’t even mine? 

Am I still listening to that societal voice that tells me I have to hustle and achieve to be worthy (such a silly idea, but we’ve all been snookered)?

This moment is potent and rich with possibility.

So, do the work with yourself, a friend, a mentor, or a celestial ally.

You may be just fine right now as you read these words with a full belly, safe house, cell phone, and a few dollars in the bank. But, don’t miss this energetically charged moment because there’s something deeper waiting to be freed — something beautiful.

Recently I recalled receiving a strong perspective jolt (mini lightning strike) during the pandemic. (Remember that crisis and how we weathered it together?)

I had come across a youtube video of Andrea Bocelli’s Concert of Hope. In the isolation of quarantine, he stood before the massive Duomo Cathedral in Milan. 



Singing. Alone. To the world.

His voice carried across silence, through distance, across grief and hope. His open heart awakened hearts across the globe. Tears. Prayer. Awe. Beauty. Google it and you’ll see the image. 



Tiny human. Massive Cathedral.

Humans have built cathedrals to the Divine for millennia. Imagine it: a Soul envisions a Sacred monument. Artists, funders, and masons gather. Grandfathers, sons, grandsons labor generation after generation to honor something greater than themselves.

A cathedral was sparked by a simple person who was moved by a Divine impulse.

Infused with imagination and devotion, they gathered others to build something magnificent for others to inherit.

It humbles me every time every time I see a cathedral. A sense of majesty that unfurls when you widen your view.

When you open your heart to the mythic operating within the mundane. When you honor your vulnerability and your magnificence. Both together as one Sacred human journey.

When you let your Soul move you, everything changes.

Andrea Bocelli, a tiny human with a huge voice, offered hope his way. This is what generous beauty does. It wakes you up and returns your focus to what matters. It’s a good time to wake up to what deeply matters and ask the beautiful questions that lead you to offer your song to the world.

By the time you’re reading this, I’ve flown into Milan and traveled to the Temples of Humankind in Damanhur, Italy.

Here, I’m committed to listening to both my Soul and my stress. 



I’m going to walk amongst the builders of another epic cathedral buried deep within a mountain. Over 45 years ago, one idea sparked 70 people in the Damanhur community to create the inexplicable and make the impossible possible. I’ve walked in the Temples of Humankind which are dedicated to awakening the Divinity in all people and honoring every wisdom tradition. It’s extraordinary and inspiring. 



I’m grateful to bring the Q’ero shamans from Peru to Damanhur so they may add their magic, ceremony, vision, and love to the Temples, Crystal Labyrinth Project, and Damanhurian community.

I’ll walk in silence upon and within that place of power so that I may listen and perceive the mythic story that wants to birth through me.

Today, on the anniversary of 9/11, I’m committed to building cathedrals, not walls. I hope you join me in that idea, however you do it.

And a reminder. Breathe and soothe your system when life gets inexplicable and overwhelming.

If you need support, ask for it. Reach out to me, to someone. Don’t go it alone. Not now. The world needs harmonized people in tune with their inner wisdom and open to the Divine Spark that may launch a simple action or a magnificent project.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Have you read Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. It puts generational cathedral building in perspective. Story style. What are you creating for your great, great grandchildren?  Just a thought. I’m full of ideas. Perhaps we’ll build together. 

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Wisdom in the Dark

It’s uncomfortable feeling the darkness within the belly, leaking into the day.

The waking to news that frightens, angers, and confuses you. This world gone astray. There is a longing to seek the light to chase the darkness. As if sunshine might polish circumstances into something more palatable. Shaping the story into something you can live within.

Don’t be so quick to chase the dark away.

There is wisdom within the depths of your body’s response. The power of anger, leaking of tears, flutter in the belly. Wisdom that whispers “Something is out of whack.” Knocking you off balance, unsettling your peace.

Opening the door for the mind to spin its tales. Strengthening your position, whatever it may be.

Activating a fearful future landscape that devastates your current wellbeing. Despair leading to withdrawal in order to protect. Agitation readying for a fight against that which you can not bear. Confusion as to why your fellow humans think so differently than you.

All stories are false. All stories are true. It’s how you live your stories that matters.

What if the sorrow, fear, anger, or disillusionment arrived to invite you into a deep, honest exchange? To welcome you within your stories about how the world should be. So, you may meet the storyteller within you and begin a dialogue.

Sitting within the early morning darkness, candle burning, a cup of tea, a cozy blanket. Perhaps a journal.

Here, you begin the dive within to find that which creates this sorrow that tugs at every aspect of your being. It doesn’t take much to enter the conversation for sorrow has a voice and it spills over with the heartbreak that has been contained within the body and masked by the stories.

You listen as sorrow speaks its anguish that the humans of the world have lost their way.

It begins with evidence garnered from one day of darkness, yet soon spreads to evidence of harm in all directions around the globe, throughout history, upon the planet. Including the harm done to self with judgement, dismissal of voice, and alienation of worthiness. The sorrow cries, allowing despair, disappointment, disillusionment to join the conversation. Emptying, the conversation slows as the body quiets, calmer now as the sorrow has been given its path of movement.

The sun rises, bathing the body in light. As it always does after the dark.

Allowing the eyes to see the beneficial presence of humans. Seeking in the light of day all that is helpful, generous, creative, and beautiful. This luminosity reveals what may not be noticed in the dark. Yet, it serves not as a source to eradicate discomfort. Nor shape deeply felt fear into something unimportant. The brilliance of day also reveals all that you judge, back away from, and condone as wrong.

Don’t be so quick to choose the light.

It is the turning away from that which is hidden in the dark that leads to misunderstanding and actions that harm.

Your wisdom calls you to the conversation with yourself before it sends you to share deeply with others.

What is your hope, determination, anxiety, or numbness wanting to share? Every experience has a voice and something wise to offer you.

Nature, which is your essence, models inclusion of every movement. Day gives way to night which returns itself to day. Seasons, amiss as they are, give way after allowing each to offer wisdom to those with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a body to sense. The moon dances through cycles of bright and dark, modeling the beauty and potential in each phase.

Wisdom is unpredictable and subtly changes the rhythm of the conversation.

Intelligent perception begins within the wholeness of what you’re experiencing. Inviting an inner dialogue where you discover that the stories you tell are true for you, until they are discovered to be false. Where you find yourself basking in the warm beauty revealed by despair and the breaking of the heart. Not only a place of suffering nor a refuge from pain, you journey within your darkness to discover the brightest felt sense of life. 

Here, you discover that both sorrow and joy matter. 

A lightness of being is possible within hard times and heaviness arrives even when circumstances are bright. These experiences arrive to be noticed, to offer something you may learn from and then choose to keep or discard. Moving in the rhythm of life, regardless of whether circumstances are to your liking or not, you recognize there is wisdom in insecurity and discomfort. 

There is no urgent need to deep dive into a dark that terrifies or to fly too close to the sun. 

Begin gently and with great kindness. Honor the wisdom that is being felt throughout your being, uncomfortable as it may be.

Don’t back too far away from yourself in order to mask that which feels disabling. There is potential in every movement of life, even though in times of discord it is difficult to see. Resist the urge to run helter skelter toward the light and proclaim it as the only power of good. 

The greatest potential for life lies within the wisdom of your being. 

Join with this rather than following the personal and societal stories of mind. When you can welcome uncertainty and discomfort as wise teachers, you welcome another rhythm. That which quietly hums a tune of harmony flowing within the dark and light of human existence. 

Listen carefully to the wisdom that whispers within you.

Steady and true, it leads you toward that perfect perception and inspired action which cultivates the love, respect, and generous care for every living being.

And if you haven’t downloaded The Self Soothe Strategy, now is a good time. It helps. A lot. Scroll down and get started. We need your calm.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

When you despair about the harshness that humans display toward one another and the planet, take pause. In a crisis, look for the helpers, as Mr. Rogers’ mother sagely advised. The world is filled with hearts that are warm, minds that innovate, and communities that work together for the greater good of all life. Today, there is room for more benevolent and useful action. Even with a heart that is heavy, I wonder what you may offer to improve life on this planet. You are needed and it uplifts the soul to become part of a movement so generous, so loving, and so joyful that your despair lifts. And the planet lightens up. One person at a time.

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I Got My Wings

I got my wings today.

No bell chimed. No angelic harmony resounded. They were just handed to me.

An official metal pin from a national airline declared me “flight crew.” I flashed back to childhood when flying on TWA.

I recalled the thrill as my brother and I met the pilot in the cockpit and received our wings to wear during the flight.

This plastic trinket added a level of delight as we flew the friendly skies toward our next adventure. You can tell that story happened a long, long time ago as no one is getting in the cockpit these days.

As she handed me my wings, she said “You changed my life.”

Another story was pulled from the past as this lovely woman recounted an Angelic Healing Journey she had with me many years before. At that time, she was in a pickle. A serious one. The empowering words and images offered during that Angelic conversation revealed a fence on which she was sitting, and her power to move in one direction (up) or another (down). It offered her hope and a choice.

Apparently, as she reminded me, the Angels suggested the friendly skies were a part of that deal – strange as that was at the time.

It’s not my story to tell here.

I will mention that it involved tremendous courage, hardship, and adventure (not all of it soaring nor fun).

It isn’t every day that you learn the impact of something you offered to someone 10 years prior.

To be clear, I mean offered as the transmitter of the Angels’ messages embedded with their tremendous wisdom, love, compassion, and wit. Holding that pin, we spoke of her decision to follow the invitation to fly through her challenges to discover what was on the other side.

Years of hard work led to doors opening and life changing in ways that continue to amaze her.

Life showed her that there was more in store for her when she dared to get off that damn fence. How making one choice and taking small actions led to the next choice, the next actions, and the next open door.

We spoke about personal responsibility and the commitment to dare to live a life she dreamed about.

I witnessed someone who had given up her story of unworthiness and was deep in the process of claiming her preciousness.

We kept the conversation going.

Exploring how to keep expanding and prepare for the inevitable tough times life was sure to deliver. The adventure of living offers ongoing opportunities for transformation.

As any traveller knows, excitement and trepidation may accompany you on the journey.

Facing the next challenge, you have the option to back away, sit on the fence, or step on the path. All approaches are understandable, yet one choice ultimately allows you to fly more freely toward your destiny.

Did I mention that she became a flight attendant much to her surprise?
Those Angels, they know stuff.

Wings in hand, now part of the “flight crew,” I was reminded to seek the open skies in my life. To have the courage to look deeply within when challenged so I might understand the gift life is presenting. Then make that choice, take that action, and walk through that opening door.

I hope you know that new horizons exist beyond your current vision.

And that you have plenty of Angelic helpers to guide your steps along the unique path you are walking. Trusting that each step awakens greater courage and offers the excitement of the next new discovery awaiting you.

Claim your wings. You don’t need the pin to soar higher. After all, the sky’s the limit.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Got courage? Sure you do. Such as what researchers call “general courage” which includes those confident or bold moves we’d easily label as courageous. Personal courage doesn’t have to be dramatic and may only be viewed as such within the mind of the one who took the action or made the choice. Whether you display the quiet persistence to get out of bed when life is hard or act with integrity when faced with injustice, you cultivate courage one step at a time. 

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Living with Shamans. A Lesson in Love

My husband and I drove separately to the Philadelphia airport in the pouring rain to pick up our guests from Peru.

Not knowing what to expect, I felt an open anticipation. A few conversations had led to this moment. It struck me that these men were traveling far from home to meet a woman they didn’t know, live in an unfamiliar home, and spend an immersive week in service. I considered how much trust they had in Spirit and commitment to the path of the paqo (shaman) to say ‘yes’ to this call to Seed the Light in New Jersey. To show up within the unknown and share their wisdom, love, and healing energy.

I recognized this familiar ‘yes.’ It had led me to this highway and with that awareness, all that was unsettled within me washed away.

In that moment, I knew I’d spend the week being instructed how to live in beauty, trust, and love.

We met these beautiful, tired men with warmth and received the same. Connected, yet strangers, we gathered luggage and headed home. As Pascual played the flute in the backseat, we drove slowly through the torrential downpour. The rain offering cleansing for the Philadelphia area as the healing of the Earth, Pachamama, and all Her creatures began.

Once settled, we called our friends to lunch. They showed up with gifts.

This is the way of living in Ayni (eye-knee), the Peruvian cultural and spiritual practice of living in right relationship with Pachamama and each other. In gratitude for our caretaking, we were wrapped with bracelets and draped in shawls made by their families. Giving and receiving. Receiving and giving. After lunch, Chino did the dishes while others played flutes and rattled, cleaning and blessing the space.

Centered in our intent to care for the paqos, my husband and I consciously opened to make space to receive every blessing and gift offered.

As the days unfolded, we entered a joyful rhythm of relaxed friendship, laughter, give and take, shared meals, and quiet time on the deck. Eager to work, the paqos headed to Soul Sanctuary or our Weekend Gathering with enthusiasm. After long days and nights, they laughed and joked in the backseat on the way home. Their camaraderie and genuine enjoyment of their time together was obvious.

When I showed Francisco my “magic closet” filled with overflowing bookshelves, binders housing my creations, and mini altars, he offered to bless it.

Returning with his bells, he blessed my closet and all the wisdom within. He blessed the altars in my office. I was ready to offer my gratitude, but he quickly moved on. Generously blessing the plants and crystals in the bathroom, cleaning the energy within our clothes closet, and moving on to the bedroom and altars within. I trailed Francisco as he blessed our space and then looked to me with a question, “okay?” Okay indeed, papa, as we shared a hug.

Morning, evening, and throughout the day, I felt the delight of every greeting. I witnessed how the paqos greeted us and each other in genuine friendship and loving attention.

How different this was from the rote greeting often observed in daily living. That ‘how are you?’ without much attention to the answer.

With every meeting, something lit up in the face as the handshake or hug was offered

I felt the underlying message. ‘I see you. I welcome you. I enjoy you. I respect you.’

This wasn’t only offered to people.

It was apparent in how the paqos greeted each day with reverence , enjoyed the busy birds in the backyard, and felt nourished by the greenery of the neighborhoods. Pascual and I walked along my gardens and down the street to the pond. Curious about what was naturally growing and if fish were present, he greeted the plants and the waters with “Munay Sunqo!”

This “love from my heart” greeting was often heard and sent off in all directions to all aspects of nature, including the beautiful participants in the Gathering.

As the days unfolded, in the midst of a busy schedule with many moving parts, I became still inside.

I began receiving lessons directly from the wisdom of Life Itself. The kind of teaching that quietly states, “This is how you live. This is how you love, relate, work, play, and grow.” I felt generosity move through my being in a constant flow with so many different forms of expression. Laughter bubbled up frequently without cause and tenderness claimed my heart as its home.

Witnessing the preciousness of each participant as they received a blessing or initiation threatened to dissolve me.

My eyes soft, my inbreath deep, I felt Life Itself delight in the scene before me. Like a proud Mama watching Her children enter an exchange with such sweetness and open hearts. Pachamama breathed deeply and exhaled long and slow Her acknowledgment that healing was happening and magic was returning to the world.

Something profound was seeded during these interactions, welcomed in the belly with the promise of nourishment, safety, and love.

The Seeding the Light Gathering, every part and each location, offered an alchemical crucible for a shifting of such magnitude that I was surprised the weather remained calm. The subtle movement of thunder and lightning was present in the invisible power of every ceremony, yet poured into each person like a gentle mist.

At some point, I became conscious that the desire to serve inhabited my whole being.

It was easy. No thought required, no idea of how or why, just an abiding love that wished to move in service to Life. No instruction, preparation, or even intent was required in this natural tendency.

Just the awareness that Life serves Life in all of its myriad forms. And that strangers becoming family is the natural order of things.

When the Gathering was complete, we rested, enjoyed some shopping and a taste of Philly cheesesteaks. Arriving at the airport, I moved to retrieve their bags from the hatchback. I was stopped as Francisco and Pascual adorned me with bracelets and a headband. I don’t know why I was still surprised at their grateful exchange for the ride to the airport. Receiving graciously, giving generously. Ayni in constant practice is the way for those in tune with the overflowing abundance of life.

Arriving home, my husband and I compared notes. 8 days of living in love and we were shifted.

There was no end to the gratitude we shared. With a full heart, a tired body, and many seeds of light, I settled onto my back deck. I thought to offer Munay Sunqo and Muchas Gracias to Pachamama, the beneficence of Life, our beautiful teachers, and every participant who called forth this shared experience.

Since no words were needed, Life rested as I promptly took a nap.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

The Andean Wisdom Path invites a commitment to live the Beauty Way. As a practice, you make a daily commitment to take action to bring beauty to every situation you are in. Moment by moment you have the opportunity to notice how beauty emerges through you. As well as every space within you that withholds or denies beauty within yourself, another, or life. This is a practice of perpetual correction. A graceful bowing to the true harmony as you clean up each perception. Living in Beauty aligns you with the principle of cosmic harmony. Let’s create beauty together.

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May Day Memories

It was a beautiful May day at Bryn Mawr College in Pennsylvania back in 1986.

I was looking forward to partaking in the annual May Day celebration at this college so infused with Welsh traditions. As a graduate student, this was my first year living in the undergrad dorms as a “Warden.” An oxymoron, this term Warden, since Bryn Mawr had an honor code and no real rules for me to enforce.

I was more of a House Mama for young women in their time of need.

Truth be told, there were very few “times of need” during my 2 years living at Bryn Mawr. While I supported a few undergrads, I was better known for my annual Dead Plant Sales (no green thumb here) and the Couch Potato Movie Fest during exam time. This was a favorite across campus as I provided good snacks, fun movies, and a much needed break for these really bright, over achieving students.

I appreciated everything about those Warden years, but most especially having my tuition, room and board offered in exchange for living on a beautiful campus.

There were a lot of traditions at Bryn Mawr which was one of the “Seven Sisters” colleges for women. I enjoyed participating in most of them, although never understood why my dorm had to “haze” me along with the freshman. After a week of tortured anxiety and teasing about what was to come, it was mostly silly (they made me wear brown. I dislike the color brown immensely) and I lost some sleep. Otherwise, it was fun and I was rewarded with lots of good food and hugs. (If only hazing was that sweet across all institutions).

I was especially looking forward to dancing around the May Pole on May Day.

Grad students had their own May Pole and I was surrounded by other Wardens and friends from my department. We shared our breakfast and champagne, dressed in white and readied ourselves to frolic amidst the ribbons. I had visions of skipping along as we worked together to create a beautiful weave of colorful ribbons.

They should have provided we innocents with a bit more instruction other than “make sure your move the ribbon up and down.”

I never knew May Pole dancing was considered a blood sport. 


Seriously, I was grateful to make it out alive and with my head intact.

When the whistle blew, all these white frocked women started running FAST. My breath grew jagged as I strongly raised my ribbon up and down. Keeping pace and weaving the damn May Pole was more than I bargained for. There was no mercy as all the onlookers cheered us on and yelled “keep up!”

I should’ve worn better undies as my white flouncy dress blew up to my waist.

I thought we’d be skipping, laughing, and gently floating our ribbons about. I guess I figured a halo of flowers would magically appear on our heads, crowning us as the May Day Goddesses we were. By the time we were done, half of us were bent over, hands on our knees and breathing hard. The others were laughing and offering high fives. You can guess what group I was in.

Despite my near death experience, it was a lovely day of celebration.

I knew May Day was a pagan tradition which occurs between the Spring Equinox (Ostara) and the upcoming Summer Solstice (Litha). Sometimes called Beltane, it is related to fertility as Spring is at its peak. What I didn’t know is that it also is used in countries like the UK and Germany to celebrate worker’s rights.

I wandered about the campus that day, drinking champagne, and watching women race around the May Pole.

The even had a May Hole to honor the lesbian students (before all the initials came into use). It is a lovely thing to participate in ritual, whether deeply familiar or totally new. When you are invited into someone else’s world to experience celebration, you are joined together for those moments. When a friend wished me a happy May Day today, this memory came flooding back.

Bringing a sense of appreciate for a life rich with stepping into ritual celebrations in worlds that are different than my own.

Ritual, celebration, and relationships allow you to remember that you are part of one human family and a part of this beautiful planet. They remind you to open your perception, stoke your curiosity, and engage with the unfamiliar. If only for one day.

I also remind you to check your undies if you’re racing around the May Pole in a cute white dress.

Have a beautiful May Day however you celebrate. If nothing is on your agenda, go check out what Pachamama is offering you. In my neck of the woods, Spring has sprung. The sky is beautiful, the day is warm, and the flowers are colorful.

I can celebrate this.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Ritual and ceremony have been part of the human experience since the beginning of history. There is plenty of research revealing the benefit of participating in both group and individual ritual. Helping to reduce stress in times of uncertainty, promoting social connectedness, grounding into shared values, and improving health. Even when the rituals seem meaningless, such as in research studies, they work. Ritual connects us to something ancient, larger than ourselves, and deepens meaning. Whether moving through a period of grief, honoring a coming of age, celebrating a religious festival, or that annual Thanksgiving family football game, ritual matters. Do your own research to see what ritual or ceremony does for your life.

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4 Tips for Reducing Holiday Tension

The Thanksgiving Holiday is upon us in the United States.

Bringing families and friends together to share a meal with gratitude for the abundance of love, food, community, and pleasure. Unless tensions arise for any number of reasons. Perhaps you stress when hosting, families don’t get along, you are dealing with grief or loneliness, someone drinks too much, politics get dicey, or any number of ways your leftover childhood issues come uninvited to dinner.

Here’s four suggestions to lower your tension this turkey day.

1. Be Yourself

That might sound obvious, but it’s hard for people to be comfortable in their own skin when there is any kind of tension present. Family gatherings may be the one place you actually drop into yourself and feel at home. I’m happy for you. I’m also aware that a large number of people feel anxious in anticipation of all those inlaws and outlaws gathering in one place.

What if you decided ahead of time to show up as who you feel yourself to be?

If you’re used to wearing a mask or using strategies to protect yourself, why not let at least one of them drop off? If that sounds terrifying, try it out for a few minutes with the most benign person at dinner. Most people don’t notice you’re all masked up like its Halloween, so they won’t notice if you let just one layer loose.

As long as you feel safe enough, it’s an interesting game to play. After all, it’s up to you to step into your own skin, comfy or not, so perhaps you give yourself permission this year to begin.

2. Acknowledge your personal, family and or friend situation.

You all may be at peace, enthusiastic about your lives, and happy to stuff your face together. Or you may be in a terrible fight, hate being in a crowd, are deep in grief, or worried about that relative who has gone off the rails. Whether it is temporary or long standing, let it be that.

Wishing life was different or getting angry at others for being who they are, where they are, and how they’re behaving is gonna give you indigestion.

Deciding ahead of time to make peace with your situation or come to a temporary truce within yourself may allow you to take the edge off. With that mindset shift, you might actually find some beauty hidden in the day.

3. Remember to wear pants.

This is for anyone feeling the stress of hosting and trying to make a meal tasty and special for everyone. Worrying about how clean the house is, whether the turkey will be moist, or if you have enough matching place settings is beside the point. You’re hosting. Everyone else is grateful they are not.

It doesn’t need to be perfect and you don’t have to worry about everyone’s wellbeing. Don’t fry your brain over entertaining. Even if your guests are grumpy and silently judging your spread, they’re still eating your meal.

So, forget worrying about what other people think.

Keep it simple and do your best. Above all, remember to wear pants. 


Or a skirt. Seriously, as long as you remember the basics like getting dressed and putting some food on the table, the day will be a success. Spray some lemon spray by the front door so guests think your house is clean and enjoy your day.

4. Focus on the worthy.

It’s Thanksgiving and the hint is in the name. Spend some time contemplating what’s really important in life. What are you grateful for? Even if life isn’t quite working out as you’d like, spend the day saying thank you – aloud and silently – for all you have been given, created, and are in the process of dreaming.

Be generous with your gratitude.

Play a game where you let everyone know your appreciation. One at a time. Thank them for who they are, what they’ve given you, or, if all else fails, for passing the gravy. Be generous – give that thanks away freely.

And don’t forget to pass some loving gratitude to yourself.

For showing up however you have on this day of Giving Thanks. And for all the ways you make the world sparkle a bit brighter because you exist.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Want to be a Human Book? Explore the Human Library Project where you can volunteer your time and “story” in order to educate others. It began in Copenhagen in 2000 with an intent to break down stereotypes and stigma. Gathering volunteers to share stories of what it was like to grow up gay, placed in child protective services, being psychic, surviving a suicide attempt, being deaf and depressed, living as an immigrant, and more. You’re helped to “unjudge someone” when you sit for 30 minutes listening to a life story. 80 countries and going strong.

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Let’s Hold Hands When We’re Old

I was leaving Panera one day, hotfooting it back to work with soup in hand, when I witnessed the sweetest thing.

After holding the door for his wife, a man reached over to take her hand. Very slowly, this ancient couple meandered down the sidewalk. Talking and walking as if they had all the time in the world and no one they’d rather spend it with.

Catching myself gawking, I gathered my delighted smile and sauntered to my car.

Making a note to myself to invite my husband to hold hands when we’re old got me to thinking. Perhaps we should start practicing in earnest now, strolling about with no particular place to go, as if our future wellbeing depended on it. Because it does.

Come to think of it, I wondered why I wasn’t holding hands with more people.

I reflected on when and why I stop reaching for the hands of my parents, daughter, and friends. It’s such a sweet practice that society relegates to romantic relationships, parents with young kids, or support for the elderly. While I won’t reach for my big kid’s hand these days, I could tuck my arm in hers. Enjoying the closeness and attending to our conversation more closely.

Here’s the thing about social interaction and touch. It’s essential if you want to live long and prosper.

Just ask the centenarians who live on the Italian island of Sardinia.

Not only do they report having the highest percentage of people who live to 100 or beyond, but more couples make it to the finish line together in Sardinia than elsewhere in the world.

I hear they are paying people to come live in that mountainous island. Imagine that. Paying you to get daily exercise, eat a big lunch of fresh food, followed by a nap. Family in Sardinia is the priority and they’ve nailed the work – life balance. No long work hours or using achievement as a benchmark of worth for those longevity magnets. A few days a week, they don’t even head back to work after that nap. Leaving more time to chat with their neighbors.

Researchers have studied influences on longevity, such as genetic markers, diet, health practices, social connection, and environment.

You might enjoy watching the series Chasing Life on CNN with Sanjay Gupta, MD. In the episode on Sardinia, I was heartened by those spry brothers who met at the coffee shop and the number of ancient couples still hanging out together. Those folks walked everywhere up and down hills, waving to the neighbors sitting in the windows and popping in to shop for an item or have a chat.

Seems that all this socializing is good for you.

Research has revealed that having a 1 – 3 intimate relationships is good for your health. It’s also beneficial to have in 3 – 5 mini contacts with other humans every single day. These casual encounters might include waving to the post man, talking to the neighbor, petting their dog, visiting colleagues at the water cooler, or screen time with your cousins in California. Scrolling social media or hitting the like button doesn’t count, and actually may hurt when it’s excessive, incites envy, or replaces good old face to face contact.

Cultivating intimate relationships and taking a moment to chat with the check out clerk may increase happiness, longevity, good health, and a sense of meaning.

It’s a good idea to eat well, exercise regularly, take naps when you’re pooped, and balance work and play. It might even be a good idea to learn Italian and go live a pleasurable, slow, and long life in Sardinia. If that’s too big of a leap, start walking around your town or neighborhood.

That lovely couple reminded me that human touch adds a bonus to social engagement.

Like sprinkles on your cupcake, touch may be easily added to your focus on social connection, health behavior, mindset, and life style.

You know that touch is a strong component of healthy development in humans, animals, and marine mammals. Yet, appropriate and gentle touching of one another seems to drop off as you age. Not for those lucky enough to have cuddly partners, kids and grandkids, puppies and kittens. All that hugging and holding keeps those feel good chemicals flowing and encourages social connection in a meaningful way.

If you’re living alone, and perhaps working remotely, you can consciously and creatively examine how you may cultivate more intimate friendships and casual social interactions.

It’s really important to consider what’s most comfortable for you regarding the power of appropriate touch. Not everybody enjoys the touchy feely approach. That’s cool. Your best way of connecting considers what makes sense for you. Remember to regularly give your hands or feet a good massage, cuddle with your pet, and connect with others in a way that feels safe to you and them.

If you want to hold hands when you’re old, now is a good time to start practicing your particular way of leaning in and strengthening your social connections.

I’m off to perform my own experiment with lots of hand holding, arm linking, hugging, and leaning in shoulder to shoulder with friends and family. I’ll toss in some good eye contact, deep listening, and expressed enthusiasm for being together. This approach might seem a bit much with random strangers, so I’ll just add in a few more handshakes and smiles as I seek my 3 – 5 social interactions per day.

And I fully I expect that one day, perhaps when we’re a hundred and two, that some young thing outside Panera will be gawking at me holding hands with my fella.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Your mindset about aging is really important. Researchers invited elderly folks to a lecture where they shared a few facts about aging. It wasn’t a scary tale or a fairy tale type of presentation. Just some well known facts about what happens to the body and mind when you head into your senior years. They measured the gait, stride, and speed of these lovely people as they entered and exited the lecture. You guessed it. People walked more slowly and cautiously as they exited the room. Yikes! I imagine we’re adding a decade just listening to all those commercials hawking pharmaceuticals and predicting demise from illness. It’s a wonder we make it off the couch and up the stairs each evening. I wonder what those Sardinian brothers would say about that nonsense?

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Courage at Sea. A Tiny Drama.

When I was invited to join my husband for his business trip to Hawaii, I got busy planning.

We could visit some of our favorite West Coast people, pay our respects at the Pearl Harbor Memorial, explore the natural beauty of the island, and go find us some wild dolphins to play with. While all of these plans were lovely, it was the bucket list wild dolphin swim that made my heart beat faster.

Truth be told, I had visions of dolphins swimming in a circle around me in warm Caribbean water.

Maybe popping in for a little nudge or kiss on the cheek. So when I read the fine print regulations requiring humans to keep their distance from marine life, my fantasy deflated a tiny bit. Yet, my heart swelled with the wisdom of allowing dolphins their space.

I’ve learned second hand through my Marine Scientist offspring how close human interactions and boats don’t bode well for marine mammals.

So, I was cool with the distance rule. Trusting every whale, dolphin, turtle, and surprise marine guest would find their way to our mutual encounter. Arriving in Oahu, I heard snippets of news about the huge waves on the North Shore that were disrupting the international surfing competition. While fascinating, it had nothing to do with me given that I’d never go near a big wave, let alone balance on a surfboard.

My healthy respect (fear) of this vast ocean jazzed my nervous system just watching tv coverage of tiny humans standing on tiny boards on tremendously huge mountains of water.

Breathing deeply, I remembered that I booked us a sweet frolic with the dolphins on the East side of the island, far from the wild North. However, I forgot Oahu was an island, not a large continent. Turns out high winds and waves in one area actually impact other areas. Weather. Go figure. Given my propensity for sea sickness, I prepared well with my pre-adventure dose of Bonine and a night of dreaming about mild waves and dolphin kisses.

That dream crashed when the captain called to cancel our journey due to, get this, high waves.

If the boat couldn’t safely make it out of the harbor and the waves were too high for snorkeling, the trip was cancelled. Okay, bummer, but safety first. Especially ‘cause I’m not a water baby and rough seas are not my jam. Problem was I couldn’t reschedule because other Bonine laced tourists were gonna swim with my dolphins. Flexibly shifting plans, I booked another naturalist tour on our last full day.

Trusting we’d have time for some splashing in the dolphin pool before returning to see Hamilton in Honolulu.

Racing toward the open sea offered a new perspective of beautiful mountains, undeveloped valleys, beaches and cliffs. This was the magnificent Hawaii I had longed for and it was thrilling to witness. My Bonine filled system protected me from feeling sea sick, so I felt free, alive, and enthusiastic. I called out to the dolphins with my grateful heart, letting them know that Kathy Milano and a few friends had come to play.

And here came the pod of spotted dolphins, joyfully answering that call.

Mothers and calves, singles and couples, they swam with us through this vast fluid playground. I’d like to say we were surrounded by 50 dolphins, but I know things get exaggerated in the wonder of the moment. So, most likely, there were 45. No shit. The largest pod I’ve ever had the privilege of zooming around with.

They weren’t paying attention to that 50 yard distance rule and I wasn’t complaining.

Our tiny group of tourists and marine biologist guides were one big body of delight. Even that really sea sick dude who was wearing my acupressure bands was grinning like a maniac.

It seemed like forever that we all played, marveled, and witnessed a few hot shot leaping dolphins.

The captain stopped the boat, and in silent wonder, we surveyed the pod who stayed with us. It was a moving adventure. There was nothing on my mind and plenty of gratitude in my body.

The biologist had an announcement.

“If you want to swim with these dolphins, now is your chance.”

I was about to jump up and shout “Oh Yeah!” like a crazy wild dolphin freak, but she continued her spiel.

“There are two things you need to know. First, we are in a thousand feet of water.” No worries there, ‘cause I had no plans to touch the bottom.

“Second,” she said in a really solemn voice, “in this deep water there is always the danger of sharks.”

Dun dun. Dunn dunn. Dunnnn duuuun. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome that mythical beast of a party pooper: Jaws.

My whole body flooded with cortisol. I immediately flashed back to 1975 and the Jersey shore with friends. We scared ourselves silly with that movie and I’ve been a chicken shit in the ocean ever since. It’s normally not a problem since I’m not a water baby and rarely go in the ocean. Unless I’m in the Caribbean.

You could’ve heard a pin drop amidst that pod of frolicking dolphins.

Not one person moved a muscle. So, I apparently wasn’t alone. I looked at the other gung ho snorkelers and that 6 foot dude was shaking his head no. My stomach sank as if some part of me had made a clear decision that there was no way I was swimming with sharks that day. My dream was mid crash when her solemn voice broke in with a lilt, “But, if it’s on your bucket list, now is your chance.”

I be a brave, brave girl. I stood up and in a teeny tiny voice asked three questions.

“How long before you spot those tourist eating sharks? How long do you think we have to make it back to the boat?” and “Will you come in with me?” With a few directions about how not to flail about in the water, move slowly toward the boat if I heard the captain call “Jaws Approaching!” and confirmation that I’d have a chaperone, I turned to get my mask and snorkel.

Well, look who else was brave. My husband was nodding and ready to go even though he hated to snorkel.

Only two (non)seafaring adventurers prepared for entry. Here’s the thing with getting in the water with 45 spotted dolphins who decided to follow the distance rule while I battled my terror of Jaws. This mythic beast and my active imagination of my demise put a damper on my experience. Can’t lie about that.

I was so busy monitoring the ocean, mastering my dead lady float, breathing like Darth Vader, and listening for a warning, that I almost forgot to check out my dream dates.

I’m good at managing stress and I do be brave, so I spent as much time as I could redirecting my focus to the dozens of small dolphins swimming by us. It was magical with a tiny dose of fear. The bummer about fear dampening down my brain’s frontal lobe function, thus diminishing my higher order critical thinking and problem solving, was that I missed two simple facts.

Jaws was a movie. And I had a one in 5 million chance of being bitten by a shark.

I wish that biologist had used her encouraging, delighted voice while throwing pixie dust and adding these fun facts to her announcement. Still, I swam with lots of wild dolphins and made it out alive. We both did. I learned a lot about bucket lists, flexible dreaming, old fears with big jaws, and that whales spend a lot of time underwater between sightings.

I ended up taking a small nap during Hamilton.

Nothing dramatic, just resetting my system so I could delight in my next, very safe landlocked Hawaiian adventure.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Marine Mammals are swimming in way too much plastic, all of which is placed there by humans. Ouch. That hurts your dolphin loving heart. The good news is that many organizations are committed to improving the health of the ocean by removing plastic, interrupting plastic pollution before it arrives, and raising awareness. A quick swim in Google will reveal eco-friendly gifts or ethical organizations devoted to improving life for our marine friends. You can donate, use less plastic, pick up trash (it flows downstream). volunteer, and educate yourself about the negative human impact on the ocean. And the creative solutions addressing it all. Your tiny actions can make huge waves toward safer marine habitats. All without getting wet.