The music was blaring. My muscles were straining. My mind started protesting.
Laying on my back, lifting my barbell with 40 other fit souls, I wondered if I had the strength for those last 16 press ups. I was thinking that I was pretty much done. Glad I hadn’t added that extra weight. Feeling myself weaken as my mind exercised it’s questioning voice.
“Finish strong! You can do it!” encouraged the teacher.
“Damn straight I can!” responded my mind.
Miraculously, strength poured through my shaking arms as I finished every last one of those stinkin’ reps. And the positive mind rules again, I thought. My body popped up as I prepared for the next set. I started strong as my mind noted how much it liked this song.
Positive mind + motivating instructor + really good music.
I recognized the benefit of this equation outside the gym. I thought about how I used this formula to enhance creativity, personal interactions, teaching, meditation, and business planning.
My mind wandered. My strength and coordination promptly waned.
Bringing my focus back to the moment, I realized how important it was to stay present to the physical experience of the class. Whenever my mind travelled some tangent, I lost my rhythm, couldn’t follow directions, and felt weaker.
Interesting.
I watched my mind wander and my body’s energy follow. I felt my mind focus and my physical energy strengthen. “Where attention goes, energy flows.” Got it! Heading into the next power set, I was clear, in sync, strong, and capable.
“It’s our first class of 2020! What are you gonna create this decade?”
“This is the decade I’m gonna change the world!” declared my mind.
This statement was so clear, strong, and in sync with my mind, body, motivation, and energy that I thought I had spoken aloud. Which wouldn’t have been a bad thing, I suppose. I thought about the audacity of that statement, willing to let my concentration and coordination slip a bit. What the heck does that even mean, I wondered. And then it hit me.
Of course I can change the world. And I am determined to do so.
Back in the groove and loving the club version of the most played song of 2019 (an oldie, but goodie – Uptown Funk), I was strong and clear. Physics, spirituality, psychology, yogic philosophy, mysticism, and deep inner knowing all point in the same direction.
Self concept, perception of other people, interactions, situations, events, past memory and the elusive future are all influenced by the projections of our state of mind. Fueled by the conditioned beliefs we formed and absorbed as we grew. What a woman thinketh, she becomes.
As within, so without. As above, so below.
When we are frightened, the world is a frightening place. When we are hating on ourselves, it is easy to hate on others or expect rejection. When we are on top of the world, it is easy to imagine and attain success, positive experiences, and lots of feel good exchanges. When we are motivated and committed to health and vitality, we encounter all sorts of support within and around us to become vitally healthy.
When we have a positive mind, encouraging instructor, and great music, we power through barbell class.
My world – inner and outer – could absolutely change. This was clear and absolutely attainable. The formula? Noticing any time my mind wandered away from what was actually happening as it ventured into my daydream, rumination, or nightmares. Anytime I argued with Life, I would be reminded that some inner idea of Kathy Milano was declaring that “thing” should be somehow different.
According to whom? The world according to Kathy, that’s who.
As if my little pea brain knew the path for each soul, the perfect way of being for each person, and the simple solution for each complex situation for humanity and the planet. I had noticed (countless times) how my mind wandered into uncomfortable dark places when I argued with how Life was showing up. That was a million times worse than losing my focus while lifting weights. Yet, meandering within my ruminating mind was a well developed habit.
Waging war on what the moment presented, I was disrupting the peace within me. Every. Single. Time.
So, apparently Life speaks loudly during my workouts. I’m all in. Knowing I absolutely have the clarity, capability, and desire to dive deep into my own conditioned beliefs in order to release them.
This is the decade I change the world. My world.
Which holds all of you. I’m looking forward to discovering even more of the freedom, peace, and love that (already) inhabit this beautiful life. And to see you much more clearly once I clear up my distortions.
If you’re a bit stuck in the negative mind, don’t despair. That is the trait all we mere mortals share. Be gentle with yourself while remaining fiercely focused on uncovering all those beliefs which keep you bound. If you need some help with this, I’m happy to help.
And if you think that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, check out The Decade in Cheer.
A friend turned me on to David Byrne’s newsletter “Reasons to be Cheerful.” (Who else loved the Talking Heads?) In their words: “Reasons to be Cheerful is a non-profit editorial project that is tonic for tumultuous times. We tell stories that reveal there are, in fact, a surprising number of reasons to feel cheerful.”
Okay, so maybe me finishing strong that one fitness class isn’t earth shattering news.
But, I gotta tell you. I walked out of there with a bit of bounce in my step (and no shaking in my biceps), so I’m cheerfully sharing this story.
Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.
Good news about exercise! Over time, regular exercise remodels the brain’s reward system (higher circulating levels of dopamine & more available dopamine receptors). Helping you anticipate pleasure, feel motivated, and maintain hope. Exercise is helpful in relieving depression, repairing neurological damage caused by addiction, and expanding your capacity for joy. Especially important as you age. Compared with inactive peers, older adults who exercised have brain reward systems resembling people who are decades younger. Decades, people. Get moving!
Learn the one essential skill that allows you to face any challenge with confidence, sturdiness, and inner calm.
More than a technique. It’s a game changer.
Three months ago, I unexpectedly entered into a relationship with a horse.
I met Zor during a visit to Liberty Stables in Florida, where I had gone to spend time with a friend’s horses. I had no particular expectations. I have no background with horses, no training, and no experience in equine-assisted therapy. I simply met this magnificent Friesian, and something quietly familiar unfolded between us.
I fell in love.
The women who arrive in my classes, retreats, and therapy sessions are sincerely looking for healing, expansion, clarity, or sometimes just a little room to breathe.
They are thoughtful women, deeply engaged with the people and work they love. Rarely do they arrive because they want another spiritual philosophy. Most are carrying something much more ordinary.
A life that has become full. Beautiful in many ways, but crowded.
About twenty-five years ago, I was driving with a colleague to a local conference. As we approached the hotel entrance, I noticed an open parking spot near the front door.
“There’s a spot,” I said, pointing to the right. He drove past it.
A few seconds later, another one appeared. He drove past that one, too. Then I pointed to a third. “There’s a spot.” Without the slightest hesitation, Dan replied, “I’ll leave that for someone else.” And he calmly parked much farther away. As we walked to the entrance, I asked about that statement.
During the Seeding the Light Gathering, I had the privilege of hosting Pascual and Jose Tomas in our home.
They feel like family as this was their second visit to New Jersey. We’ve also spent a week together in Damanhur and the Temples of Humankind in Italy. I’ve sat in many ceremonies with Pascual in Peru’s Sacred Valley. His flute playing often carried me up mountain trails in the thin air and hot sun.
I planned to work a bit, complete some projects, and enjoy slow days with plenty of relaxation.
All of that certainly occurred, but beneath it all, something else began quietly inviting my attention.
The plane had begun its slow fall toward the earth when a sharp ache pierced my ears. Half-dozing, half-aware, I surfaced into the moment just as the toddler in front of me woke with a scream that broke her open. The sound wasn’t defiance or misbehavior. It was pain.
I felt her small body struggling to make sense of something she couldn’t name.
Her mother bent over her with the tenderness of someone trying very hard to be a good parent. But her soothing came dressed in urgency, in the quiet pressure to behave, to use words, to be okay, to not disturb those seated around her. Her voice shook with the effort of managing her child’s distress and her own rising shame.
