The Art of

WholeHearted Living

Stories, Strategies and Surprises

Looking for Kindness in all the Right Places

February 5, 2020

I merged with ease onto the highway, as I’ve done countless times before.

I slowed a bit to let the big white pickup truck with a trailer pass by before I claimed my space. Gazing forward at the open road, I realized the pick up driver had moved over to make room for me.

I was struck by the kindness of that simple maneuver.

Seriously struck. My heart warmed as those feel good chemicals zoomed around my brain and body. In my mind, I was crystal clear that he had offered me a kindness. It wasn’t just good driving protocol or a desire to save his shiny new truck from a potential run in. How did I know? I’ve no idea, but I knew.

So did my open mind, warm heart, and tingling body.

I basked in that experience as I drove. Then a question arose.

How many subtle moments of intentional kindness do I miss each day?

I recognized that question offered me an invitation to play. So, I drove on – alert in my pursuit of kindness. The tiny, easy to miss kind. Whether it was intentional or habitual didn’t matter. Noticing what was already happening was.

I took a new route to keep me from going mindless while driving.

Winding through neighborhoods on a lovely day surprisingly showed kindness everywhere. Drivers let others merge or walkers cross the street. A man picked up random trash. Doors were held in local shops. A lady kissed a neighbor’s dog.

Smiles exchanged. Lots of drivers waving at each other.

The thank you, go ahead kind of waving. Nary a middle finger in sight.

I stayed alert while exploring a new grocery store.

A mom was kind to her frustrated child. Staff helped find stuff. A young girl smiled as she paused in her stocking for me to roll my cart by. 3 times she paused and smiled. (I was a bit lost). My cashier was to die for kind and even helped me put the cart away as I grabbed my bags by the front door.

I went to Trader Joe’s next. Happy. Watching lots of nice people manage a crazy crowded parking lot.

Same story indoors. After a bit of noticing all the help all around, I zoned out and stood in line. I tuned in and felt the unity within me. Happy. Feeling the benefit of witnessing so much kindness. I brought my attention outward and saw a laughing couple enjoying a really friendly cashier.

I heard ladies laughing behind me. Strangers apparently.

Mind back on autopilot, I half heard a woman cheerfully mention she just got rid of a house full of tweens after a sleepover. She had laundry in the washer and dishes in the dishwasher when her husband mentioned they were out of tea. So here she was on Superbowl Sunday at Trader Joes with the rest of New Jersey.

I was thinking that was mighty kind.

I was thinking about how I felt after those sleepover days. My husband would’ve been lucky to get a cup of tea. No way I would’ve run out for that one item. Let alone do it cheerfully.

(Note to self - still more growing up to do.)

I heard her ask the manager, perched in his official birds nest, if he could ring up her 1 item. He didn’t have a register.

That woke me up.

“Please, go in front of me.” “Oh no, I couldn’t.” “Please” (really more like “Puleeeaase, it is so not a big deal). It was a no brainer.

“That was kind,” said the (really friendly) cashier.

I hadn’t even thought about the kindness thing. It just happened. Habitual kindness. Noticed and commented on. I wondered if he might be playing the same game, so I smiled at him knowingly (sounds creepy when I write it).

Asking me to wait a second, he had a word with the floating manager. I packed my groceries and got my change.

Then he handed me a tiny bouquet of flowers.

“Thanks for being kind,” said my game playing buddy. Intentional kindness met habitual kindness. Really, truly sweet.

It showed me a new level of the game.

I could notice acts of kindness happening and I could intentionally create a few of my own. I walked out and saw a woman struggle to lift her bags out of the cart. And leave the cart precariously poised to drift right into that shiny luxury car parked by the door. Intentionally, I returned the cart.

Playing the game at this level – noticing and contributing – reminded me of my favorite square dancing move.

It’s been a (really) long time since my High School gym days, but I think it’s called a chain. All cliques represented as we joined hands, laughed, danced, and wove through each other with great enthusiasm. Once we all agreed square dancing was hokey and weird, we were free to thoroughly enjoy ourselves.

I remember that feeling of an open mind, warm heart, and tingling body.

It struck me then that Life invites us to play a lot of different games. It doesn’t seem to matter which one you choose. Just that it takes you into that warm, sweet experience of being a contributing part of this human family.

I believe there is a lot of good going on in our world.

Depends what you are looking for and what you’ve got to add.

I hope you find your game today.

And discover the joy of playing, the playmates who await you, and that inner tingle. I hope you inadvertently make someone’s day and cause a chain reaction of goodness.

p.s. I also remember playing with those little scooters in gym. Jumping on the trampoline. Routines on a tiny balance beam (8 inches off the floor). Volley ball and my killer serve. Softball on gorgeous days. Thinking back on it, gym class was so much fun.

What about you? I’m sticking with fun … as long as I block out days running around the track, playing basketball, and wearing that mandatory sleeveless, one piece polyester gym suit.

Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.

HeartWarming

News

Kindness: the gift that keeps on giving. University of California researchers found an increase in positive feelings and life satisfaction, and a decrease in negative feelings, when participants performed acts of kindness, recalled acts of kindness, or did both. Next time you feel down or stressed, pull up a memory of when you were kind to someone to improve your own well-being.

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