I’ve never done a silent retreat. I’m not even that good of a meditator.

I like to stream the wisdom of the Angels, the Sacred Feminine, or the Great Wisdom. This is my comfort zone which opens me to the Divine in ways that make me whole.

I love to be on retreat and learn from genius teachers, ponder a bit on my own, and gather with like minded souls for depth discussion. Preferably in a warm climate full of sunshine and scattered hammocks. But that’s not what is unfolding for me at the start of a hopeful New Year. 

Instead, I’ll sit with my own nature. In silence. 

In preparation, I’ve finished my work and cleared my schedule. I’ll be putting away my phone and computer. Wondering who I’ll be without work – such a strong part of my identity. Choosing to step away from television, leaving the house, talking to anyone (perhaps my dog on occasion), and limiting access to reading material. 

I have a blank journal, two books from a wise man, and one short audio course to guide my Path. And silence.

In anticipation of returning to the world, I unsubscribed from all my emails. All of them. That in itself was a bit disconcerting. What if I needed that information? What if I insulted my friend or colleague by signing off? What if I missed something? One thing that surprised me as I let go was how much thought I had about it. I expected the relief from clearing my clutter, but not the mild anxiety as I let go and let go.

And so it begins.

People are excited for me. I’m grateful for that. I’m not excited. I’ve got lots of trepidation. As if I’m heading off to climb Everest rather than sit in my room for over a week. My goodness. That clamor in my mind has so much to say. I wonder what happens when I’ve nothing else to distract me from its noise. I wonder what I’ll discover as I listen more deeply in the stillness than I do in my movement.

I received some lovely advice as I prepared to unplug. Be patient. Be curious. Be tremendously kind to yourself. Offers of prayers, love, and support. And a precious mantra “I have everything I need.”

And you do as well. I hope you discover a way to connect so deeply with your Soul in this coming year. I wish that for me as well. This year, may we dive deeply into the wonder of existence only to find that we’ve always resided there.

Quietly splendid.