Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to reach for help, to find those receptive, or to receive support.
When you’re depressed, it gets even harder. If you aren’t surrounded by helping forces, reach out to the 24 hour crisis and suicide support hotline. Dialing 988 gets you there.
As the walk began, hundreds of people stood quietly waiting until it was time to step onto the path. It was a reverent silence broken only by enthusiastic barking as canine walkers greeted one another. Without any invitation, it seemed as if people turned inward to focus upon their reason for being there. The hush remained when passing a woman sitting on a bench, her friend in a matching t-shirt leaning in with a smile while holding the back of her heart.
Leaning in as a steady presence. No words needed.
My husband and I looked at one another and nodded as we both said the name of our friend who was struggling. We knew there was steady love, support, and professional help surrounding that precious one. Gratefully, we were free to walk and enjoy the beautiful day. The quiet gave way to soft conversation and laughter as people talked and groups intermingled. My husband began sharing memories of the years we spent playing at that park. He asked if I that’s where my mind was going as well.
“I’m having flashbacks.”
My memories were a bit different. As I walked, a slideshow rapidly processed 40 years of the devastating impact of depression, suicidal ideation, and loss of life. I watched every image. Remembering teens, young adults, and parents who felt such loss. So many emergency calls, hours at crisis screening, visits to the hospital, and safety plans enacted. Traditional and creative interventions to protect life. So many professionals, family, and friends who leaned in to support. And for those who were lost, images of funerals and anguish of those left behind.
I walked in appreciation for every person who was able to move through their darkness.
I felt overwhelming gratitude for the levels of support that arrived to wrap each one. I prayed with those souls who left, knowing they found their light. I marveled at the resilience of human beings to move through extraordinary challenge and rediscover a life worth living. I prayed for those colored t-shirts and sign carriers knowing that they weren’t alone. This brought hope as I know the power of healing when support and love wrap those hurting.
I felt a loosening of the pain in the group. It was lifting as everyone walked and talked together on this beautiful day.
We noticed a woman walking alone before us. Recognizing her as one of the volunteers, we decide to move up and walk with her. It didn’t make sense for anyone to walk alone, especially this day. We enjoyed an easy, inspiring conversation. Uplifting her, inspiring us. At the end of the walk, we thanked each other. It went without saying that we all felt lighter after our time together.
We witnessed this beautiful young woman lead the closing ceremony, shared a hug, and headed home.
Recognizing it only takes one person, a teenager at that, to start a movement toward hope and the light. Grateful, inspired, and also aware that so many people are challenged by life.
It’s a human thing, not a mental health statistic.
What I know from 40 years of listening to people is that it makes a difference when someone leans toward you. Whether a stranger, a colleague, or a loving family member. It matters when you reach for each other. When things are hard, tell someone. If it’s not the right someone, because their response isn’t helpful, keep trying.
Imagine a world where people were interested in one another. Where we mined for light within one another, not darkness.
There is power in positive conversation. When you shine a light on someone and seek to learn something about what brings them to life, that’s what happens. They come to life. Brightening before your eyes. So do you. Feel good chemicals firing all over the place.
There’s a mental health epidemic going on in this country, especially with the young folks.
This is a human problem, not one left to families and mental health professionals to solve. So, what are you doing about it? I’ll give you a hint. Seek what is interesting, life affirming, enjoyable, and hope giving to those around you. Perhaps you have to first seek it in yourself. Forget talking about the weather, whether your teens are doing their chores, or how work is going. Ask some beautiful questions about what people enjoy, share some stories about your favorite adventures, or seek an area of common interest. I imagine you’ll learn something new and interesting.
When you are interested in others and elevate your conversations, things lighten up naturally.
Imagine how many times a day you speak to someone. Adding a smile and a mini chat generates more light than a bland ‘how are you?’ that isn’t really looking for an answer. It might take some practice and a strong awareness, as we humans tend to slip into a self absorbed spaces while traveling through the day. Showing a little interest (not too much or it’s creepy) and kindness may have an impact you’ll never see. Especially as people are so good at putting a happy face on private pain.
There is plenty of good happening in the world. Go look for it and share it freely. You see that hope abounds in so many dark places.
All because normal people like you lean in, take an interest, and place a hand upon someone else’s heart.
