Category: Blog-Creativity

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Back to School. Uncharted Territory.

My fingers typed a different title. Uncharted Terror-tory.

Interesting. True for some. But not helpful. So, I deleted that inspired blip and chose to begin anew. I’ve spent the past month listening deeply. To parents with kids heading back to school. From preschool to graduate school, these parents were wrestling with making difficult decisions for the wellbeing of their children.

Faced with the uncertainty of knowing what the plan would be.

If the school could carry it out, and how it would affect their kids, themselves, and their community. Dealing with their own anxiety, frustration, fear. All the while supporting their children and wondering how to give them some degree of choice.

Every time a decision was reached, something would change.

I’ve been listening a lot this past month to teachers, school administrators, college staff, and private school faculty. It’s been quite a mixed bag of anger, frustration, fear, resentment, blame, positivity, creativity, and professionalism.

It’s basically a shit show in New Jersey.

Every district making decisions. Confusion reigns within schools and throughout the communities.  Tempers flare. Fears are heightened. Divisions between teachers, administrators, unions, and parents widen. Anger seeps out over the great divide between those with means and those without. Unchartered terror-tory seemed to be the culprit behind it all. 

As I see it, everyone is doing the best they can.

There just is no easy answer. And no single playbook. The best laid plans going astray when real kids walked through the school doors. Kids texting parents on the first day. So undone by the distance, the masks, the rules, and the changes. Teachers anxiously trying to teach those in front of them and those on the monitors. While remaining safely distanced and maintaining order. Families at home fiddling with technology. Virtual kids heading out the front door after “early dismissal.” Parents admitting they have to leave their tweens and teens home alone so they can go to work.

Parents scrambling to create work stations for all the kids and themselves.

I’ve been listening. To working parents who are angry, frightened, overwhelmed, and falling behind at work. As tempers flare between partners and between parents and kids. To patient parents who know they aren’t teachers, but are seeking to do the best they can. To parents and teachers who know special needs kids need special teaching. And to everyone experiencing brain and eye fatigue from so much screen time.

As I listened to all the hardships and heightened emotions, I wondered what everyone would learn this year.

Not the academic kind of learning. I wondered if we little and big humans would become more creative, kinder, curious, stronger, and resilient. I think we can. But we adults would have to make some big changes. Right now. Starting with ourselves, no matter what our role is in the education system. Teacher. Parent. Student. Neighbor. Adminstrator. Grandparent. Volunteer. Board Member. All of us together.

Let’s help kids learn.

 

Not just math, science, and history. Let’s model how to be creative, enthusiastic, adaptive, and positive. This is an unprecedented opportunity for adults to model how to meet great challenges in life with grace, understanding, and a best effort to carry out imperfect solutions. To take a deep breath, listen closely to the needs and ideas of others, make mistakes, and try again. It’s a time to stay light – on our feet, in our minds, and mostly, in our hearts. Praise, support, encouragement, and understanding. The kids needs these qualities. And so do the adults.

Let’s lay down all complaints and judgements.

All of them. 95% of what I’ve listened to, across the board, during this past month have been expression of anger, frustration, complaint, blame, and frustration. I get it. I truly do. But, here we are in the midst of a COVID driven world. What are we teaching our kids? Let’s get positive.  Solution focused. Genuinely willing to help. No matter what. There’s always a higher solution. Let’s seek that.

Let’s look for strengths and resources.

Human beings have a great capacity for intelligent problem solving, creative learning, playful engagement, and respectful relating. I wonder what ideas the kids, teens, and college students have about how to best learn. And could the adults, teachers, and parents actively seek ideas from their young charges? And each other. Not only about how to succeed in this strange new educational landscape. Seeking out what’s needed in terms of emotional, relational, and academic support. In all directions. This is about being real, not super human. Some days you’re offering strength and resources. Some days you’re on the receiving end. Both have enormous value for the wellbeing of our human tribe.

Let’s practice radical compassion. With a great dose of love.

For ourselves, our kids, school officials and teachers, parents, and every damn person who is struggling. Face it. We’re all struggling. Sharing with colleagues, other parents, and peers how we are feeling, what we’re doing to care for ourselves, and how we get/don’t get help is empowering. Looking out for adults who lost their jobs or kids whose parents work. This connects us with one another, generates new ideas, activates the desire to care for others, and leaves us feeling less alone or helpless.

Let’s stay open and curious to how it’s all gonna play out.

Maybe schools stay hybrid. Maybe they go all virtual. Maybe we all get to hang out face to face again. Since we truly do not know the future, let’s stay curious. This invites flexibility, adaptability, and humility. No one has the answers. This leaves us vulnerable. Dependent even. Kind of like children. Maybe we’ll appreciate what it’s like to be a vulnerable, dependent kid/teen/young adult again. And be kinder, more willing to listen and understand.

Let’s help one another.

There’s no shortage of need these days. The kids, the parents, the schools, the elderly, the jobless, the frightened, the lonely.  The list goes on. We’re in it together. And you’ve got more to offer than you can even imagine. Who needs your strength, resilience, creativity, compassion, and love? 

Just ask the question. I imagine the answer won’t be far along.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Want to help a student succeed? Focus on what’s most essential: positive emotions. Research has found positive emotions, such as gratitude, love, amusement, and wonder, enhance cognitive flexibility. This boosts the ability to deal with change and be curious about new things. Flexibility, positive emotions, and openness to what’s new are important in the COVID school environment. Helping students seek out positive emotions can enhance emotional well being. And students with higher levels of emotional wellbeing tend to have higher levels of academic achievement and are more engaged in the learning process.

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Filling my Pockets

Everywhere I look, there’s worthwhile work to be done. 

Our oceans are filled with oil spills and plastic garbage.  Our atmosphere is polluted and forests are disappearing at an alarming rate.  Worldwide,  we’re grappling with a pandemic.  Adults are losing jobs and unable to care for their families.  People of all ages are sick, lonely, dying, and afraid. Our country is divided on so many issues. 

People everywhere are filled with rage, despair, insecurity, sadness, hunger, and fear.

Everywhere I look, I see opportunities for worthwhile work. Important activism. Creative solutions. Helping hands. Witnessing our world leads me to speculate:  What to do?  What to do?  What skills are required?  What is the focus of my worthwhile work?

Overwhelmed by the magnitude of the questions and the need, I choose to sit still. 

Really still.  I wondered about the work I already do. And the worthwhile work that may be calling to me across the noise of my busy life.  “I thinked and thinked” as Winnie the Pooh would say.  And then, I didn’t think any more.  I guess you could say that I just “be-ed.”  In this state of beingness, a thought emerged: 

“If I could fill my pockets with only two things, I would carry Love in my right pocket and Kindness in my left.”  

I realized how these qualities help Life flow more easily for myself and others.  So, I pulled on my favorite jeans, stuffed Love and Kindness in my front pockets and headed out the door. 

Actions guided by Love and Kindness worked with people of every age, ethnicity and gender, across all walks of life.  They even worked on me. They worked in nature – pristine and damaged.  They worked across the internet and within the inner net.  These tools worked.  Although sometimes, I forgot to stuff my pockets. 

On those days, I walked under a cloud. Miserly in my misery until I ran across some kind, loving soul with pockets overflowing.

And I was helped to remember the power of love and kindness, applied flexibly and consistently throughout the day. Over time, I stuffed my pockets with Clarity and Wisdom, Fearlessness and Ingenuity, Humility and Grace, and the ability to Laugh and Cry with friends and strangers.  Along the way, I forgot the original question. I just chose to be Love and Kindness or whatever quality was called forth from me in the moment. 

It’s not an exact science, but it seems to work for me. 

Until I forget to fill my pockets. That’s where you come in. Your love, kindness, courage, and ingenuity helps me a lot. Thanks for that. And keep it flowing.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Being kind toward others is associated with stronger mental and physical health, relationships, life satisfaction, communities, and even economies. Some researchers encourage you to cultivate kindness as a practice for wellbeing. For you. For the world. So think in terms of circles.  Start offering kindness to family, close friends, office mates. Smallish is fine. Smiling, holding doors, saying thank you, picking up a piece of trash on your neighbor’s yard. Then expand your circle. Tiny acts of kindness for strangers. Concentric circles of kindness. Could they change the world?

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Something New

I’m ready for something new.
Time to shed a skin or two.
Habits and thought patterns are stale.
Begging me to begin a new tale. 

I am mired in the same old dance,
Convincing myself of its importance.
Yet feeling an invitation in the breeze,
Which tickles me and makes me sneeze.

What grand dreams were just inhaled?
What new walls here to be scaled?
Glimpses of new vistas that I see,
Sent back in time by a future me.

I ask, “What is there?
How do I prepare?”
I answer, “Throw away the map
And climb on my lap.”

Carried away by an unseen dream.
Across uncharted territory.
Upside down and topsy turvy.
No time to rhyme.

Bump, I land back where I began,
Steadied by a Divine hand.
The invitation is crystal clear.
Thus invoking lots of fear.

With child’s mind, I venture out.

 

With child’s mind, I venture out.
To play, to risk, to sometimes pout.
If new is what I’m called to do,
I guess I’ll try a thing or two.

Tickled by this unseen dream,
The path is clear, just can’t be seen.
Who knows where I may land?
Or who will come to hold my hand?

Emboldened by the memory
of a brave kindergardener me.
I venture forth to this new game.
Trusting I will not remain the same.

Hoping for playmates along the way.
I trust you’ll venture out to play.
I’m ready for something new.
Are you?

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

There’s a lot of benefit to writing, reading, and listening to poetry.  Research shows it benefits the brain, developmental learning, creative expression, and opening to new perspectives. I like this quote from Phyllis Klein (Women’s Therapy Services.) “…poetry gives rhythm to silence, light to darkness. In poetry we find the magic of metaphor, compactness of expression, use of the five senses, and simplicity or complexity of meaning in a few lines.” Why not try it out? Let your creative juices flow. Perfection be damned!  Express yourself.

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Gone Fishin’

I hope you’re enjoying midsummer even in the midst of uncertainty in the world. 

I took a month away from social media, including writing this blog, in order to step away from the opinions and happenings of the world. This reprieve allowed me to enjoy the sweetness of my work, watch Hamilton (twice), read, and rest.  I enjoyed a relaxed pace during my days. Spent time with loved ones, watched Netflix, stayed home, and slept longer.

I found the restoration had a surprising impact. 

I wanted more. So did my body and my mind. So, I’m following this inner invitation to do less and engage the world slowly. I’m curious about what is unfolding within and around me. And I’m watching as the creative impulse is waking up.  Wondering what will come of this change of pace. But certainly not rushing it.  

The idea of a “Gone Fishing” sign hung on my door feels deeply appealing. 

And I don’t fish. I do appreciate the natural world and have been basking in long walks in the woods, watching rainstorms, and sitting by a mountain lake. Watching bald eagles fly, ducks dive for food, fawns scamper, and a bear eat our trash. All magnificent, my favorite was the bear climbing into our trash enclosure. He was nimble and enjoyed the early morning for his exploration.

Until we got wise and locked our trash in the garage. I kinda miss that furry gymnast.  

Another hot topic filling my conversations is the approach of the school year.  Big decisions across the board as I listen to administrators, teachers, students, and parents. Every level of education, from preschool through graduate school, is being upended. The choices are varied. The opinions are strong. The reactions are vulnerable. The solutions are creative. The disappointments are endless.

And it could all change tomorrow.  Such is the world we live in.    

More and more, I’m dropping into the precious moment. The Now Moment. Into the report of sweet encounters between people. Into relaxation and my resting body. Into memories of good times.  Into the practice of breathing deeply. Everything seems precious. 

My retreat from the world is reminding me how precious this life really is.

 

While it doesn’t seem like rocket science, it makes a lot of sense.

In one of my quieter moments, I was thinking about SisterHood families.  And those in neighborhoods who have been deeply affected by the loss of jobs and the higher cost of food. Thinking about how Burlington City kids would be returning to school.  Or not.  Exploring what I could do to help.

When the phone rang.

My friend, Rev Hilda, was calling to let me know of the sudden death of a long time SisterHood volunteer.  Nothing COVID related.  Just a precious life ended suddenly.  With the broad reaching impact on loved ones, friends, and community that loss always brings.  I worked a lot with Evelyn.  Saw her live through some troubles and courageously come through them.  She was happy.  Proud of herself.  Connected with her family.  The future looked bright.   

You just never know what this precious life will bring. Nor what it takes away.

I wondered how I could pay my respects to a family who didn’t know me.  And then I realized that I could pay my respect of Evelyn by paying it forward. To take an action that was aligned with her daily volunteer work.  Giving back to the SisterHood community.  Taking care of the vulnerable kids. Something Evelyn did with enthusiasm in a community that welcomed her into their lives.

You don’t have to know Evelyn to help me act like her. 

Worlds apart, I imagine you share something in common with her. The desire to give of yourself. To share. To make the world a little easier for kids and their parents. If you’re interested in supporting the SisterHood School Supply Drive, scroll down for the flyer. Any NEW school supplies for K – 12 will be useful.  It doesn’t make a difference if the kids are heading to school, choosing a hybrid option, or going the virtual option.  As my daughter recently reminded me, kids still need school supplies. 

I’ll be at Soul Sanctuary for the Sidewalk School Supply Drive on Saturday, August 22nd from 9 – 11am.    

Free free to drive by and drop off some supplies. Bring a mask and have a lovely outdoor distance visit.  If you’d rather I shop for you, that works.  Reach out to me via email and let me know what serves you.  If that day doesn’t fit in your schedule, I’ll let you know what day you can drop supplies on my front door step at Soul Sanctuary.  Thanks for your help here or wherever you offer it in the world. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

We can get overwhelmed when thinking about the inequity in homes and schools. The reality that many kids don’t get back to school shopping nor show up with basic supplies, such as a notebook or pencil, is heartbreaking. Yet stories of teachers, neighbors, volunteers, and kind people abound.  Remember to focus on the good!  And the potential to do good.  It not only primes your brain for good health, resilience, and emotional wellbeing. It might lead you to be the one who makes the difference for someone in need!  Win.  Win.  

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What’s your Medicine?

 

A powerful question for these uncertain times.  How would you answer it? 

I’ve been hearing a lot about medicine. 

For allergies, spring colds, headaches, and body aches.  The pharmaceutical kind of medicine that is in most medicine cabinets and advertised relentlessly through every media channel.   Chemotherapy, radiation, anti-anxiety and depression medications.

And natural supplements like Vitamins C and D, zinc, Airborne, and essential oils.  Boosting immune systems and treating symptoms naturally in a time of global illness. I’m listening to people speak about medication most days.  It’s a part of life.

Energy medicine also sprinkles through all my conversations. 

That isn’t so surprising since I’m using Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology techniques in most interactions with people.  Heart Assisted Therapy.  Emotional Freedom Technique.  The Body Code. The Emotion Code.  All the Light work with the Angels and beyond.  Giving you access to your own natural power. 

Awakening your inner healer.  So you can treat yourself.  

Easy to learn. Practical in application. Yet, often forgotten or underutilized. Even though I offer sessions every week, I often forget to use these techniques myself.  Such is human nature and the power of the conditioned mind. Good to remember and drop back into creating the new habit of using these techniques more frequently.

I’ve been hearing a lot about self-medicating these days.

Emotional eating.  Stress eating.  Drinking too much. Laying around binging Netflix series you don’t even like. Overworking.  Letting go normal activities like exercise, chores, or showering.  Too much caretaking at the expense of your own wellness. These are all understandable activities during a pandemic while self-quarantined. 

There’s no judgment here. 

I’m just noticing that I’m eating ice cream again and not working out with weights.  That’s fine here and there, yet ultimately not the best medicine to keep my body vital and strong.  Taking a look at yourself without judgment, you may notice the ways you are attempting to soothe your stress, loneliness, boredom, fear, and loss.  Awareness precedes choice precedes change. 

Compassionate awareness leads to a potential to chose a different medicine.

There’s some yummy, feel good medicine going on here.  Generously helping others. Planting gardens. Walking in nature. Creating art. Reading books. Connecting via phone, email, video, and drive by visits.  Playing games. Praying for those near and far. Learning something new.  Sending Thank You notes. Singing together. Dancing.

Within the indigenous traditions, a shaman or medicine healer may evaluate your dis-ease with four powerful questions.

 

When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?

 

Diagnostic in nature. Insightful in contemplation. Prescriptive in action.

I believe these questions speak for themselves. Make use of them with one caveat. Good medicine requires a compassionate view toward yourself and your life. No judgment here. That won’t help you discover the healing which is awaiting you.  Some of you may dive within these questions – grateful for the structure and capacity to explore every crevice.  Others may find it more helpful to touch the edge of a question. To notice what wants to be gently explored or practiced. 

There’s a hint in every question. An answer. A map marker. To guide your way home to yourself. 

I love the potential of diving deep.  Grateful also for the benefit of walking gently into these questions. I’m a fan of “not knowing” what may arise.  And for taking the shortest route to discovery.  So, I’m taking the “hint” to awaken some good medicine to see me through.

I’m sitting in silence.  Dancing a lot to different kinds of music. Singing softly and loudly. Alone and with others (albeit via recording). Enjoying stories. 

Seems we are in this topsy turvy world for the long haul. Together. Every day you may notice yet another thing that is gone, different, or unknown. You are in the midst the great upheaval. We all are. 

Knowing that you are responsible for your own wellbeing, this seems like a good time to become more aware. Asking yourself what is helping you steady your light, boost your immune system, strengthen your mind-body-energy system, awaken your soul connection, and empower your own evolution. 

The Art of Becoming. Evolving into a luminous human during this time of great uncertainty.  

I’m curious. Enchanted by Life’s invitation to evolve. Aware that I’m at choice. Interested in becoming more while doing less. So, I’ll be diving into some beautiful questions and open space. By myself as an investment in my wellbeing and creative ability to serve others.

Choose your medicine wisely. 

Are you noticing who is prescribing your medicine?  Is it the media, western medicine, subconscious habits, or your live streaming inner wisdom? There’s a hint of an answer in that question as well.  Remember that everything is waiting for you as you dance, sing, pray, create, and engage stories.  A cornucopia of natural healing awaits as you commune with nature, stillness, and your own Soul. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

When you smile, they smile. At least their brains fire off the neurons as if they were smiling.  A smile comes your way. Your brain fires off neurons ‘as if’ you were smiling. Mirror neurons are thought to be the physiological foundation for empathy. Helping you read people and interpret how they may be feeling. One thing about trauma, shock, chronic helplessness, or depression. It robs you of your natural smile. With the presence of mirror neurons, another person’s smile can activate your neural pathways even when your face doesn’t match up. Smile more. At yourself. At everyone. The world needs your smile.

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Balancing Loss and Gain

 

I’ve been contemplating loss.

It seems to be a shared experience within this worldly crisis.  You know that loss is a natural part of the ebb and flow of life, yet it seems to be starring in a show of its own these days. Perhaps because your attention upon what you have lost (or may lose) is heightened as so many areas of life are altered. 

I’ve been made aware of so many deaths this past week: worldwide and personal from the virus and from illness. 

Too young, mid life, and quite old.  The sudden death of a beloved pet. The inability to be with loved ones in the hospital or mourn together at a funeral. I’ve learned of loss of income, of businesses and careers, and access to health care. The loss of freedom of movement, in person connection, and physical touch. The absence of creature comforts like entertainment, hair salons, and public parks. The challenge of obtaining basics like food, especially for vulnerable populations. The loss of innocence or a sense of stability.

It feels heavy – this processing of so much loss.  Sitting with so much grief, distress, fear, and uncertainty. 

And yet it feels perfectly natural given my experience as a psychologist and as a human.  The gratitude to “be with” another as they share their losses warms my heart, even while sorrow arises. This is what it means to be human. To come together to share in the sadness that life inevitably brings. To open the space for grief and celebration.  To allow an uncertain future and doubt in one’s capacity to navigate new terrain. This is a privilege – a grace that I am to share in this moment of someone’s life. 

If dealing with loss is so familiar, what’s the difference now?

Sheer quantity and variety.  Worldwide shared tragedy.  Entering a time of true uncertainty.  Most of you haven’t been lived through wartime, famine, or plague. I haven’t. So it’s hard to grasp the magnitude of this worldwide crisis. And if you try, by exploring every news story, you ultimately escalate your stress and thus diminish your capacity to process the layers of loss that you will inevitably face.

It may help to view this unprecedented crisis as a rite of passage.

 

Rites of passage are part of life in the normal developmental process of growing up. They also occur when life shocks you by its unexpected twists and turns. They involve moving from one state of being to the next. They happen when the ground beneath you seems to dissolve or radically shift.  When you are left asking “What happened to my life?”  And this question propels you forward, often without your knowing it.

The first stage of this transformative experience is a focus is upon what you have lost. 

How you have been separated from the life that which was your normal experience.  In our now time, as the world trembles together, you may discover something new each day, each week, where you are facing yet again the absence of something you may have taken for granted.  The losses are obvious and subtle.  Sometimes not considered until you reach for something that is no longer available. 

This is a good time to stop and breathe.  To be still with the noticing of this loss.  

To not rush forward.  To just “be with” yourself for a moment.  Allowing any response to arise.  And if that feels too difficult and there is someone to reach for, then lean into that other who can share this space with you.  Sometimes this other is not a person – it may be a pet, the comfort of a cup of tea in your favorite room, or a Divine being who brings you solace.  

The next stage within a rite of passage is the liminal time, where you dwell within a place of uncertainty.  

Alone and together, you face what’s lost and the “not knowing how” to traverse a future that is no longer predictable. To be with what arises as purely as you can.  To tell the truth about how you are shaking and how the world doesn’t make sense like it used to.  In a time like this, you travel back and forth between these stages as new areas of loss reveal themselves.  As questions arise that can’t be answered. 

Most humans need others to travel these paths of loss, grief, uncertainty, and fear.

Rites of passage naturally involve others.  Those that may guide you.  Those with whom you are traveling. Those who hold space and witness your movement. Looking for these partners at this time is essential.  Reaching out to those who help guide, encourage, and steady you as you point to the next place of being.  Falling into a sense of belonging, even peripherally, to a community that resonates with you.    

Be open with this definition of community. 

It does not have to be a tight knit group.  You can feel a part of a community when you, and thousands of others, join over the internet with a teacher or leader.  It can be provided by a book and the teachings within it – tuning into wisdom within the written page and within yourself.  It may be a ZOOM class, church service, or a chat with family and friends.  

When you recognize that you share this experience with all of humanity, you may have found the largest community of all. 

In all things, life seeks balance.

When you recognize loss in this time, you may also recognize gain.  These are two sides of the coin in human experience.  The buddhist tradition speaks of 8 worldly winds or 8 worldly concerns, represented by two contrasting experiences:  pleasure and pain, gain and loss, praise and blame, fame and insignificance. 

The middle way of dealing with stressful events is to recognize both sides of the coin.  

Just as you contemplate loss, you may notice how much is gained in these days. What has been offered to you by way of others: help, kindness, shared material goods, or service.  Noticing time with children home from school or returned from college. Connections with friends, family, and coworkers across various platforms.  A gain of free time, creativity, new ways of working, or projects to help one another.  New skills developed and knowledge gained.  Even the capacity to make peace with boredom, isolation, and life turning upside down.

Discovering places within – some unsteady, some resilient – which want to be known.    

Allowing you to develop further into a better human being.  Laying down some old patterns of behavior and thinking, while learning new ways of relating to yourself and this world. 

Using this time to look deeply within and ask “What is ready to go and what is ready to grow?”

Being open to what is found as you tread gently through the fields of uncertainty and bring kindness into every exchange with yourself.  After all, it is likely that you are doing the best you can given the circumstances.  Just like everyone else.  Don’t get caught in the trap of judging yourself (or others) harshly.  You’ve got enough going on without that additional stress.

I’ve been contemplating what I have gained.  

Not as an intentional exercise.  More like a natural reflection that occurred during these past many weeks.  It is interesting how life brings you naturally into rhythm with balance.  As if quietly offering you a hint about how to live well, even in the midst of calamitous times.  

I’ve gained so much. Witnessed so much of humanity’s goodness.  Been helped and given the opportunity to help.  I’ve connected in new ways to people familiar and new across the world.  And have resurrected the old styles of communication as well. Snail mail and telephone calls.  Backyard visits and dinner over a game of monopoly.  

I’m deeply grateful for all of it.  And for the sheer force of today’s stress to drop me back into my breath.  Into the stillness of my being. 

Here, I remember my essential nature.  Aware. Loving. Wise. Available.

Steadying me from this inner foundational space so that I am present to what comes in this moment. Trusting that life will show me the way through. That every resource, internal and external, will serve me.  Especially when I am centered, still, and open to whatever life brings.

I still prefer gain over loss. Yet, I am willing to be taught how to live in greater balance.   

I am willing to be a student to the great teacher – life in its entirety.  To breathe and bring myself into balance again and again.  I see this in people everywhere and am encouraged.  When I am in a community of humans who are using the current circumstances to grow into better versions of themselves, then I am in a community who will support my own desire to do the same.  Another gain.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Microcredentials influence the Job Hunt during Covid. The pandemic’s negative impact on job hunting college graduates may give a boost to the “stackable credits” approach to earning a degree.  Some universities are offering college credits as industry-recognized certificates. These “microcredentials” are allowing students to enter the job market long before they graduate. This changes the landscape as students aren’t waiting for college graduation to demonstrate skills in exchange for a salary.

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Collateral Beauty

“I love the collateral beauty that’s emerging.”

Thanks, Lisa, for that beautiful sentence as we connected Sunday evening on Soul Sanctuary’s Virtual Salon.  The statement resonated strongly with me and I felt a release in my body as I enjoyed breathing it in. 

So much beauty, kindness, and laughter in the midst of uncertain, fearful times. 

What we focus upon truly matters.  I’ve been working hard to watch the stories my mind is telling me.  When I catch myself contracting, I look quickly to what scary tale is broadcasting through my body.  I “interrupt that broadcast” to breathe and change my focus.  I seek the moment first. Where am I and what is actually happening around me? Then I may point my mind in a positive direction [Remember your brain’s velcro and teflon actions from last blog? I’m seeking to strengthen my teflon super powers.]

So, here’s a few things that warmed my heart and made me smile and laugh this weekend. 

Susan, one of our Sacred Immersion retreaters, wanted to cheer up her neighbors.  When the weather is dreary and the future uncertain, what better way to brighten the day than to string a rainbow of balloons across the street!  And employ the local party store – supporting small business.  (Can you spot our very own sunshine, Mary Law, as her family basks in the delight?) Kudos, Susan! May it inspire you to bring some brightness into your neighborhood! Do it your way.

My family has always loved the broadway show, Les Miserable.   

I first saw it when I lived a summer in London during graduate school.  The story, music, drama, British accents, and humor always warmed my heart.  Hearing the music brings back memories of sharing this experience with my family.  And gets me singing along with every song.  So, I was excited when my brother sent me a new recording of an old favorite.

This cast has Broadway beat.  I laughed.  I cried.  I’m a fan.

Bonus is the family squabble before they get started.  Gotta love the authenticity (and the power of pizza as a bribe.)

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/04/01/825232156/u-k-familys-lockdown-themed-rendition-of-les-mis-is-a-delight

I enjoyed a ZOOM call with family stretched across the US on Sunday.

We caught up on our lives.  Chatted about how we were all being affected.  College kids home and all schooling online.  Businesses closed. A guitar purchased. Games being played.  A painting created. Walks in nature. A garden tour. A live musical performance of The Gambler.  It was a delight.  

“Where do you find toilet paper?” asked the young college grad.  Unprepared and undaunted, these 5 quarantined roommates had it under control. “We’re rationing.”  That was my first shared ZOOM belly laugh.  

It seems a sign of love these days is not a box of chocolates or bouquet of flowers ... it's toilet paper! 

 

My Dad just turned 85 (he declares himself ageless) and his friends threw him an impromptu party in the driveway.  Three cars, three families, proper social distance, a cake, and a song.  As if that wasn’t enough, the gift of the day was an industrial roll of tp.  I can rest easy knowing my parents won’t have to ration!  

And there’s John Krasinski’s quarantine talk show: Some Good News (SGN)

Check out these heartwarming stories.  Recognizing heroes.  Worldwide participation is welcomed. Another theatrical surprise.  That girl’s face – oh my goodness.  I laughed.  I cried.  I’m a fan.  Can’t wait to see Hamilton when the world opens again! 

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/lin-manuel-miranda-hamilton-john-krasinski-978750/

Collateral beauty.  Generous acts of kindness.  Surprises. Heartfelt actions. Worldwide participation.

One thing for sure, we are all in this together and we need one another. We must deal with the fear, heartbreak, feelings of helplessness, overwhelm, and uncertainty.  Some of us are dealing better than others.  That is to be expected.  And when you are on the side of having something to offer, look what goodness comes of it. 

Why not show the world who you are and what you’re made of.

Go create your own rainbows. And ZOOM theatrical performances.  Gifts of friendship. And random acts of kindness. Tiny actions. Big actions. Whatever you are capable of in the moment.  Including demonstrating the ability to ask for help and receive it freely. 

What you focus on matters deeply. 

Especially to those recipients of your generosity.  Let’s meet this moment with courage, skill, and sturdiness.  And when you shake – hold on to someone (virtually) and let yourself receive.  

If I can help in any way, please reach out.

To me.  To someone.  Don’t go it alone – not this time.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Research at the University of British Columbia explored the effect of noticing and reflecting upon nature during everyday life. Participants were placed in three groups: noticing nature, focusing on man-made objects, or going about daily life as usual. After only two weeks, the noticing nature condition reported feelings of inspiration, awe, transcendence, and greater life satisfaction. They felt more connected to nature, people, and life in general. Nothing changed for the other two groups. Enough said. Go outside and notice nature.

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Looking for Kindness in all the Right Places

I merged with ease onto the highway, as I’ve done countless times before.

I slowed a bit to let the big white pickup truck with a trailer pass by before I claimed my space.  Gazing forward at the open road, I realized the pick up driver had moved over to make room for me.

I was struck by the kindness of that simple maneuver.   

Seriously struck. My heart warmed as those feel good chemicals zoomed around my brain and body.  In my mind, I was crystal clear that he had offered me a kindness.  It wasn’t just good driving protocol or a desire to save his shiny new truck from a potential run in. How did I know?  I’ve no idea, but I knew. 

So did my open mind, warm heart, and tingling body. 

I basked in that experience as I drove. Then a question arose. 

How many subtle moments of intentional kindness do I miss each day? 

I recognized that question offered me an invitation to play. So, I drove on – alert in my pursuit of kindness. The tiny, easy to miss kind.  Whether it was intentional or habitual didn’t matter.  Noticing what was already happening was.

I took a new route to keep me from going mindless while driving. 

Winding through neighborhoods on a lovely day surprisingly showed kindness everywhere. Drivers let others merge or walkers cross the street. A man picked up random trash. Doors were held in local shops. A lady kissed a neighbor’s dog.

Smiles exchanged. Lots of drivers waving at each other. 

The thank you, go ahead kind of waving. Nary a middle finger in sight.  

I stayed alert while exploring a new grocery store. 

A mom was kind to her frustrated child. Staff helped find stuff.  A young girl smiled as she paused in her stocking for me to roll my cart by. 3 times she paused and smiled. (I was a bit lost).  My cashier was to die for kind and even helped me put the cart away as I grabbed my bags by the front door. 

I went to Trader Joe’s next.  Happy.  Watching lots of nice people manage a crazy crowded parking lot.  

Same story indoors. After a bit of noticing all the help all around, I zoned out and stood in line.  I tuned in and felt the unity within me.  Happy.  Feeling the benefit of witnessing so much kindness.  I brought my attention outward and saw a laughing couple enjoying a really friendly cashier.

I heard ladies laughing behind me. Strangers apparently.  

Mind back on autopilot, I half heard a woman cheerfully mention she just got rid of a house full of tweens after a sleepover.  She had laundry in the washer and dishes in the dishwasher when her husband mentioned they were out of tea.  So here she was on Superbowl Sunday at Trader Joes with the rest of New Jersey. 

I was thinking that was mighty kind. 

I was thinking about how I felt after those sleepover days.  My husband would’ve been lucky to get a cup of tea. No way I would’ve run out for that one item. Let alone do it cheerfully. 

(Note to self - still more growing up to do.)

 

I heard her ask the manager, perched in his official birds nest, if he could ring up her 1 item. He didn’t have a register.

That woke me up. 

“Please, go in front of me.”   “Oh no, I couldn’t.”   “Please”  (really more like “Puleeeaase, it is so not a big deal).  It was a no brainer. 

“That was kind,” said the (really friendly) cashier. 

I hadn’t even thought about the kindness thing.  It just happened.  Habitual kindness.  Noticed and commented on.  I wondered if he might be playing the same game, so I smiled at him knowingly (sounds creepy when I write it).

Asking me to wait a second, he had a word with the floating manager. I packed my groceries and got my change. 

Then he handed me a tiny bouquet of flowers. 

“Thanks for being kind,” said my game playing buddy.  Intentional kindness met habitual kindness.  Really, truly sweet. 

It showed me a new level of the game. 

I could notice acts of kindness happening and I could intentionally create a few of my own.  I walked out and saw a woman struggle to lift her bags out of the cart. And leave the cart precariously poised to drift right into that shiny luxury car parked by the door. Intentionally, I returned the cart. 

Playing the game at this level – noticing and contributing – reminded me of my favorite square dancing move.

It’s been a (really) long time since my High School gym days, but I think it’s called a chain.  All cliques represented as we joined hands, laughed, danced, and wove through each other with great enthusiasm.  Once we all agreed square dancing was hokey and weird, we were free to thoroughly enjoy ourselves.

I remember that feeling of an open mind, warm heart, and tingling body.

It struck me then that Life invites us to play a lot of different games.  It doesn’t seem to matter which one you choose.  Just that it takes you into that warm, sweet experience of being a contributing part of this human family.   

I believe there is a lot of good going on in our world. 

Depends what you are looking for and what you’ve got to add. 

I hope you find your game today.

And discover the joy of playing, the playmates who await you, and that inner tingle. I hope you  inadvertently make someone’s day and cause a chain reaction of goodness. 

p.s.  I also remember playing with those little scooters in gym. Jumping on the trampoline. Routines on a tiny balance beam (8 inches off the floor).  Volley ball and my killer serve. Softball on gorgeous days.  Thinking back on it, gym class was so much fun. 

What about you?  I’m sticking with fun … as long as I block out days running around the track, playing basketball, and wearing that mandatory sleeveless, one piece polyester gym suit.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Kindness: the gift that keeps on giving. University of California researchers found an increase in positive feelings and life satisfaction, and a decrease in negative feelings, when participants performed acts of kindness, recalled acts of kindness, or did both. Next time you feel down or stressed, pull up a memory of when you were kind to someone to improve your own well-being.

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I am a Dog

I was playing  the game “Headbands” with my dog the other day.

He seemed to have a hard time guessing what his card said. 

Australian Shepards are supposed to be smart, so I wasn’t sure why he was having such a hard time.

He played the game well as he sought clues in the yes/no answers to his questions.  “Am I an animal?  Do I have four legs?  Do I chase balls?  Do I  live with a great family?”  Yet he couldn’t seem to grasp the correct answer … “I am a dog.”  I thought maybe he was losing his mojo. 

Then he looked at me with that all knowing gaze and I finally got it. 

He was beyond smart.  

He was wise ... playing the game while knowing the whole time it was a "game."

So when he asked me the next question “Am I the infinite, interconnected, harmonious flow of energy that many call LOVE which is also known as the fabric of the Universe?”  I simply said yes.

We stopped playing the game at that point. 

Instead we walked outside marveling at the how the natural world was doing its thing. As if it knew exactly what to do and how to do it.  I had plenty of time to notice the sights, smells, colors, and surprises as he frequently stopped to “smell the roses” and water everything else.  It was really more of a meander than a walk. Giving me the opportunity to notice that I experienced more of nature’s gifts with him than walking on my own.  

Such a wise teacher, this “dog.”  

Sometimes he surprises me. Like the day he taught me that size is relative and perception is in the … perception … of the beholder. Illustrated by the photo below.

I wish he had taught my physics class. 

I might have actually learned something and had a lot more fun.  It would have been a “sweet” experience.

I also appreciate how he demonstrates how to Be in the Now. 

Eckhart Tolle has nothing on him when I walk in the door to be greeted as if I appeared out of thin air.  What a celebration of the miracle of “walking in” to a new scene … a new moment.  The energy is contagious and I totally understand why dogs wag their tails and people spontaneously offer up the “happy dance.” 

When I pop out to the car to get my last bag and return 15 seconds later to the same response, I don’t know whether to value the ability to be truly and delightfully present or check for dementia. 

Just when I think I know something, he reminds me that not everything is as it seems. 

Like when he quizzes me on the nature of reality with questions like “what is real?” and “who am I really?”  I just never know what “game” he will come up with next.  

One thing I know for sure, I have a lot to learn from that wise being I thought was a dog.  

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Most agree pets are therapeutic. But a robotic seal? In Japan, Paro has been offering companionship to nursing home patients since 2005. The seniors love this furry animatronic seal! Japan’s National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology found interactions with Paro improved mental sharpness in Alzheimer’s and dementia patients. Best results were from those reporting Paro enjoyment. Seems that furry robot boosts moods and increases resistant to stress. Robot seal love – my new favorite thing.

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Can you Change your Mindset in 1 Day?

Can you change your mindset in 1 day? This woman says YES!

I believe in the power of Tiny Actions sustainably, consciously, and soulfully applied. 

In fact, I’ve witnessed so much more actual transformation with this approach than the deep dives into a HUGE INTENTION.

The HUGE intention starts off with a bang and then kinda fades a way without a peep.  Think how many New Year’s resolutions and big plans you’ve thought up … and then laid down.  Or rather, they laid themselves down for a long winter’s nap when you weren’t even looking. 

The reason most goals or resolutions FAIL is because they are 
S-C-A-T-T-E-R-E-D.

Scattered intentions are easily discarded, especially when they are believed at a subconscious level to be unreachable.  As if the mind whispers (in a really creepy voice), “You know, you’ve already tried this a bunch of times and it hasn’t worked out.  Maybe it’s best to forget about this dream.  It’s probably out of your league or too much to accomplish this time around. Not to worry, you’re good.” 

The insidious voice is tricky. It has a gravitational pull which maintains your set point (your habitual way of living) rather than your goals. 

When you lay down that goal (again), the voice changes then. Still creepy, it whispers of things better left undone because of some inherent less than capable aspect of your nature.  Such rubbish, this sneaky, creepy influential inner voice 

So, I was pleased to receive an email from someone who was S-H-0-C-K-E-D by the rapid changes in her mindset after just a single day.  

“Kathy! I set my sights on the wealth of knowledge from the Sacred Intent Retreat being life altering.” [Side note …. great intention.  Feel free to steal it!] It certainly was!  My reprogramming of old mindsets through Tiny Actions and Heart Assisted Therapy techniques made a profound difference. I’m grateful, yet shocked, to see how quickly my mindset changed!!”

One sweet benefit of these Tiny Soulful Actions is the stealthy way they operate under the radar of the egoic mind.

Now, you may be wondering just how long these Tiny Tweaks have stayed around.  Given human nature and the tendency to resort back to the zone of comfort called “habit.” 

With the application of a number of new habits, techniques, AND tweaky mindsets, the tiny grew into huge transformation for that woman.  

While the specifics aren’t mine to share, lets just say they covered just about every area of life.  And, no, the tiny in Tiny Action wasn’t really medium size, nor extra large.  It was so teeny that it gave me pause. 

I recall thinking “Now, THAT is one TINY action.” 

Yup.  My “mindset habit” wondered if that teeny movement in perspective and action would make any difference.  I learned something from that lady.  A lot actually. 

In fact, I am now a super fan of the Tiny Action sustainably and soulfully executed.  

I’ve applied tiny movements in all areas of my life over the past 10 months since the first Sacred Intent Retreat was offered.  All I can say is that I am rocking the tiny into an art form. And, I am directly experiencing massive shifts in all areas of my life.  

You can join the experiment next time I offer the Sacred Intent Retreat. We’ll explore the intersection of spiritual, energetic, and success principles in a practical way .. applied YOUR way to YOUR life. 

Don’t take my, or her, word for it.  Explore these principles on your own.  Imagine a day where you explore the area(s) of your Life that are calling you.  And create a meaningful plan that you can successfully execute … with the help of the PlayBook you go home with.  This “tiny” taste is just the tip of the iceberg.


Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

When you’re setting a goal, you activate the competitive nature of your willpower.  Health psychologist, Kelly McGonigal, describes willpower as a competition between the part of you wanting immediate gratification. And that part focused on long term results. Four interventions can tip the scales in the direction of long-term goal achievement. Get enough sleep.  Meditate 10 minutes a day. Get some exercise. Eat a plant based and low glycemic diet. All support the brain’s optimal functioning which are critical for staying on track with goals aligned with your core values. Keeping your energy efficient and enhancing your decision making.