Category: Blog-Creativity

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Ilionor is Graduating! Celebrating Love O

My heart is full as I contemplate the wonder of the oldest Love Orphanage child graduating high school.   

Going to school in Haiti is for the privileged few who can afford the yearly tuition. Without a public education system funded by the government, Haitians are left to their own to access education.

The tuition of $250/year is out of reach for the majority of Haitians who live on under $2/day.

Prior to the creation of the Be a Difference Maker program, none of the Love O children had ever been to school. With the daily challenge of survival of 19 children, Gabriel knew that education was out of reach. His focus was upon healing the physical and emotional traumas of the children abandoned or orphaned by the 2010 earthquake.

Ilionor is 21 and graduating high school which goes through grade 13 in Haiti. 

As the oldest young man at Love O, he supports Gabriel and has been considered staff after turning 18. This is necessary for him to remain at Love O and continue his education. (He is standing on far left of photo.)

Ilionor’s success poses a new challenge for Love O.

What are the next educational opportunities for Ilionor and the girls who will graduate next year? Identifying options, cost, and logistical details is the next step. What technical school will provide a livelihood and match their interests and gifts?

So how do we, the extended Love O family around the world, celebrate and how do we fund the future? Let’s do both!

We are celebrating and looking to funding future education with the Love O Coffee House!

 

We’ll gather at Studio 67 in Medford on Thursday, June 9th to celebrate with music, friends, and dessert.

We are graced by the musical talents of Sharis Swartley and Norm Taylor. They bring such passion to their performance and have both been long term supporters of the kids at Love O.  Studio 67 is an artsy setting in the old feed mill. You’ll be surrounded by beautiful art, yummy sweets and the chance to celebrate Ilionor’s success. 

We’ll share the photos and some video from the evening with Gabriel so the Love O family will feel our love and support. 

My heart is especially full as my daughter created the Be a Difference Maker program when she was in 8th grade and entering high school.  She visited Love O with us for three summers during high school and was able to watch the children grow. And now, as Ilioner represents the fruit of that first seed, she graduates from college. It is a sweet time filled with tremendous gratitude.

I’d invite you to join us in opening the way for further education for the Love O kids.

If you’re local, please come to the Be a Difference Maker Coffee House and join us in the live celebration. For those who can’t join us for any reason, you are welcome to make a donation to support this educational dream.

Here’s the link for tickets which will take you to the Event Bee site. 

If you’re purchasing a ticket but not attending, please add that in the comments. (100% of donations to We the Village are applied to the Be Difference Maker program. I have no access to information about financial contributions.)

We look forward to celebrating Ilionor and receiving the musical gifts from Norm and Sharis.

Thanks so much for your support. It really does take a Village.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

I call Gabriel Fedulus an angel. A humble man, he answered the call to help the orphaned children after the 2010 earthquake. What did he do? Gave up his job as a translator and home in Miami and returned to Haiti to gather up some kids. And raise them. He kept gathering until he had 19. He is still raising them. Even as some leave and other little ones arrive. He manages to find food, fill their hearts with love, create safety, and solve the multitude of challenges that Haitians face every day. Especially in these turbulent times on that little island. I call him the Angel Gabriel. He dismisses that name, but I think it fits and I’m keeping it. 

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Reviving the Thank You Note


I received a thank you note from a young woman as her assignment for a college psychology class.

This unexpected delight had a bonus: it was delivered in person and read aloud to me. The shared sentiment was beautiful and felt lovely to receive, yet the best was yet to come.

In the midst of reading through tears and smiles, she stopped to exclaim “I am just so proud of myself!”

We both overflowed with happiness in that moment. It was thrilling to witness her realization that she was the one who had orchestrated her own transformation. Happy dance. Hug. Tissues.

This made me write a global thank you note to all psychology teachers.

“Thank you for teaching the students the positive benefits of gratitude via writing thank you notes. I’ve received a few of these in my life and they meant the world to me. I’ve felt such appreciation for the writer, been inspired by their courage and kindness, and was motivated to continue helping others. This real life teaching tool worked both ways and led me to realize the importance of sending my own thank you notes.”

I remember writing thank you notes as a child after every birthday, Christmas, and special occasion.

Truth be told, I did them because I was required to by my parents. It was a struggle to fill those small notes with the right words that somehow conveyed my gratitude without sounding scripted. I truly felt the appreciation for people’s kindness, yet it was an awkward task as a child and teen to translate my feeling into the written word.

As an adult who has grown into the comfort of expressing gratitude with words, it is now a pleasure to write, type, text, or voice my appreciation. I do it often.

“Dear Mom and Dad, thanks so much for holding me responsible for sending thank you notes for every darn gift I ever received. I didn’t know it at the time, but that practice created a beautiful mindset and lifetime habit of translating my feelings of gratitude into action. I never thought of the impact a thank you note had on another person when I was a kid. I get it now.”

Research in positive psychology, brain science, and mindbody medicine have demonstrated that practicing gratitude has the potential to lead to greater happiness and health.

Cultivating gratitude as a mindset may increase levels of self-esteem, optimism, and empathy, as well as bolster your immune system, decrease stress, and improve sleep. As expected, feeling gratitude and taking the action to express your appreciation has the potential to improve relationships.

When you take the action, such as writing a thank you note, you are bringing the inner feeling of gratitude into form.

Not all thank you notes have to be delivered.

 

When you are engaged in a healing process after someone hurt you, you may come to a time when your gratitude and compassion inform your understanding.

The thank you note becomes a ritual of release and forgiveness as the self empowering action of healing emerges.

Write from the heart, read it aloud, and then rip it up to let the energy flow out from your newfound understanding into the world.

This ritual empowers you to transcend challenging times and define how you choose to be present in your life.

Ripples of healing happen in the world even when you’re not directly communicating your feelings or new understanding.

Imagine a world where you mindfully considered the gifts given by others, large and small, and took the time to share your heartfelt appreciation for the giver and the impact on your life.

Exciting discoveries in neuroscience reveal that your brain responds to offering and receiving appreciation. You are actually wired to “catch” the feeling of gratitude.

When someone shares why they’re grateful for you, it inspires you to step into that higher version of yourself. And pay it forward. Very quickly the ripple effect of gratitude is felt in your body, mind, energy, and your relationships. It becomes second nature to share your appreciation with strangers and pause to let those you work, play, and live with know why you are grateful for them.

Should you text, call, write a thank you note, or send a gift of gratitude?

That’s totally up to you. Yet, I’ll make a suggestion. Do your own research. How does it feel to quickly fire off a text of thanks. Or receive one. How does that compare with taking the time to write and mail a handwritten note. Or receive one. Is there any added benefit by adding an in person call, a hug, or bringing a small gift? Or receiving any of the above.

Gratitude enhances wellbeing. It changes how you relate to the world from the inside out.

And thus, it changes the world from the outside in. Thanks for that. I’m really excited to live in a world with a human family who easily expresses appreciation and goes out of their way to let others know why they matter.

Design your own gratitude experiment.

And someday in the future, drop me a line to let me know how it’s going.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Positive psychology researcher Martin Seligman explored 5 different gratitude practices. Writing and delivering a detailed Gratitude Letter had the greatest positive impact on happiness, measured one month later, of the 5 practices. Participants who received the greatest benefit delivered and read the letter aloud versus those who merely mailed it. Yet, 6 months after delivering the Gratitude Letter, participants’ happiness levels dropped back to where they were prior their gratitude visit. It’s time to put pen to paper, forgo the stamp and show up in person. Repeat often.

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The Stuff Challenge

I went silent at the onset of 2022.

Staying home, I entered a 2 week silent retreat. Sure, I shared a handful of words with my husband and dog. But only a few niceties and indicators to let them know all was well and good.

Somewhere into the second week, I realized that if I were on a “real retreat,” I’d have the opportunity to offer Seva (sacred service). So I asked the question, “how might I offer service during this retreat?

The answer was swift: “Tend to your home.”

In that moment, I realized I was so focused upon my day to day life outside the home, I had neglected this beautiful space in which I and my family spend much of our lives together. I wondered where to begin. Reaching into my bathroom closet for something, I saw the disarray in my many bins originally meant to organize all of our stuff. And so it began.

It took two days to sort through everything hidden in plain sight.

A realization dawned as I safely tossed 5 year old prescriptions, 15 bottles of nail polish, a zillion odd buttons, dried up makeup, and so many half used products. An entire trash bag cleared out so much space. 

I also found unopened products. Unaware I had purchased doubles due my disorganization.

Lovely body creams, new makeup, a travel iron (I rarely iron at home), make up bags, Q tips, swim goggles, extra hair dryers, and so much more. I realized my neighbors at SisterHood would love to have these items. That prompted me to look under my sink and my daughter’s sink to see if there was anything extra.

I found unopened stocking stuffers from this year and last. That gave me pause.

In these tiny places, I found so much waste and needless accumulation. I shut the door on that beautifully organized, totally abundant bathroom closet and sat for a bit. Examining my habits of shopping, collecting, disregarding, repurchasing, disorganization, and general overconsumption.

What needs were being met? How mindful was I about what I purchased? How much trash was I creating?

I found many things, including a disrespect for the ease in which I have the privilege of living. And a dawning awareness that I had so much extra which I could share. This was a very practical awareness. Not a lofty appreciation for my abundance nor a general desire to help my human family. My realization was grittier than that.

I was staring into my inner shadow and the horror of mindlessly accumulating so much stuff for one tiny family.

It was a lovely, sobering awareness.

Sometimes a little bitchslap from your inner exploration packs a big wallop. I took my time diving into what this was showing my in all the ways I live, work, and play in this world. Seeing ripples of impact that I never considered and would not have conceived of in my own limited view.

One thing became abundantly clear. I had more closets.

I flowed through my days of silent meditation, mindful eating, gazing at the natural world, reading my wisdom texts, and engaging in Seva.

Room by room, closet by cabinet, I discovered a world of stuff.

Kitchen cabinets held unopened treasures and more items than we could use. Closets revealed North Face fleeces, dress coats, business attire, shoes, and purses that were in lovely condition and were seeking new life on some other body. China, crystal, jewelry, home decor, children’s dishes, unopened gifts, school supplies, picture frames, holiday decorations. The list went on.

Along the way, the horror turned to wonder as the packing became an act of love.

 

As I packed each item, my silence sometimes gave way to song as I chanted my gratitude.

That I lived such a life of plenty and that these items would create warmth, beauty, and practical ease in their lives. I sorted according to the programs offered by SisterHood: prison to community, return to work, new homeowners, children’s programs, GED program, mentoring youth, the Boutique, and more.

It took 2 SUVs packed to the gills to transport everything. After 20 years of sending carloads and truckloads of donated stuff to SisterHood, we still had this much extra.

The visual led to a commitment. We couldn’t continue to accumulate stuff.

This decision led my husband and I to a serious examination of how we are living and what we are contributing. Positively and negatively. It’s a work in progress and covers everything from how we spend money, where we purchase, clarifying needs vs. wants, creating more sustainable habits, identifying what we keep or share, and how to invest our time, money, energy into that which is meaningful and supports life in all areas of the planet.

On Sunday, I’m going silent again for a week.

A bit modified this time as I’ll work 3 days and keep a few personal appointments. Other than that, I’ll be diving deeply and quietly within. Wondering what shadow and light will reveal itself this time. Eager to discover what else wants to be deconstructed. Clearing my own self structure of old ideas about who I am and what I need.

I’m not wondering too much about my Seva project for the week. I feel the basement calling me. So many closets to explore.

The Stuff Challenge is simple.

I invite you to take a look at your “stuff.” And not just the material kind. Dive deep into your being and see what you’ve outgrown and are ready to give away. Making room for new transformation. Cleaning your closets is an extension of this inner work. On the outer level, as you clear your material stuff (trash, share, upcycle), you make more space.

So you may decide consciously how you’d like to live and contribute to this beautiful world.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

We’re filling our landfills at an alarming rate. With so much stuff that could be recycled, reused, shared, or composted. The US is only exporting a third of what we did in 2015 since China no longer buys our recyclable waste like plastics. As the largest global producer of plastic, we only recycle about 9.8% of the materials (reports vary). And nearly one third of the world’s food supply is wasted each year. You CAN become part of the solution. Like the folks in Llanarth, Wales who gathered 100,000 dirty diapers to be cleaned, shredded and mixed into asphalt. Reminding us that not only does “shit happen,” but it can make roads instead of landfills. Now that’s a “Reason to Be Cheerful.”

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Breathing Love Meditation

Living in the world at large is extremely stressful right now.

The lingering presence of COVID, a terrible war with more refugees flooding into Europe, material shortages, and escalating prices. Your personal world of health, family, work, friends, and communities may also be experiencing significant challenges. This beautiful planet is in distress with continued consumption and destruction by humans creating a global crisis that will affect all life now and in the future.

My friend in Vienna sent me this photo of his local train station. “Give peace a chance.”

Austria has a “Willkommenskultur” or welcoming culture for refugees. Many people from Europe have shown up at train stations in Poland and other countries with signs indicating they can house and feed Ukrainian refugees.

Yet many people in the United States and countries away from this region have expressed feelings of helplessness, fear, anger, and deep sorrow.

Research has shown that when in a crisis if someone has the opportunity to act and help others, there is less of a chance of a lingering post traumatic stress response. This is why so many are moved to donate money, create peace ceremonies, volunteer, or collect goods for displaced people.

In my research I learned of the stress created by donated goods in the midst of humanitarian crisis.

In situations such as the war in the Ukraine, the influx of clothing and supplies requires a great amount of organization, money, and volunteers. They need to manage incoming donations, sort goods, identify and pay for storage so supplies are not ruined by weather, and see what may be distributed. The statistics show that these needs not only take away a focus on flexible purchase, delivery, and distribution of items of need, but that 70% of these donations end up ruined and/or in landfills.

That in itself is heartbreaking. All that good intent ending up as a pollutant for our Mother Earth.

Taking some time to research options for helping or donating is wise in any situation whether it is a crisis or a long term need. Yet, the helplessness remains even if you are donating or reaching out to friends affected by global or personal crises.

It’s helpful to tune into your inner wisdom for guidance. Always beginning with a check on yourself.

If you’re experiencing significant upset, as many people are, I’d recommend turning off the news and soothing your system. Unless you are in a coherent state, you won’t be of much help to others or the world.

My Self Soothe Strategy is one of my Free Resources available on my website (click here).

The PlayBook explains the importance of working flexibly with your mindset and stress response system. The recording guides you through a heart focused Energy Psychology practice which resets your nervous system.

Your energy system is the foundational architecture of your “body.”

As such, it holds all fear, helplessness, and grief from past situations that were overwhelming at the time. There are many ways to soothe the system and help these stored disruptions clear out of the energy field and body.

Clearing the way to dream a new future for yourself, your communities, and the global family.

First, you have to check in to see where your focus lies. For wherever that is, you’ll be creating more of it.

Are you envisioning a world of unified peace or living in a world of divided hatred?

 

It may sound like a fairy tale to envision Russian and Ukrainian children growing up in harmony, respect, and love for one another. 

Or to witness the Earth restore its oceans, rain forests, and gardens so humans and all creatures contribute well to the ecosystem. I don’t read this as a fairy tale, I dream it as a foreseeable future. Turn off the mainstream news (right, left, and center) and seek out the amazing miracles happening all around this planet. 

There are amazing, cooperative projects existing all over this world. 

Where people live and work in harmony with a creative focus upon sustainability, respectful empowerment of each other, and dare I say it, personal responsibility and a big heart focus on love. One of my favorite websites to visit is Reasons to Be Cheerful created by Talking Heads musician, David Bryne. 

Good news. Good projects. Good inspiration to become involved and grow into a better human being.

I’d love to offer you a guided meditation that I recorded for the Center for Conscious Living in New Jersey. Together, the group dropped into the process of cleaning up the inner world, strengthening the energy field, and breathing love to the world. 

“I Am That: Breathing Love” guides you through a gentle process which you can use to soothe and strengthen your system. 

To access the recording, click here.

Settle into a quiet space and recognize that all healing begins within. Peace on the planet begins within. So does every creative dream about restoring harmony, safety, plenty, and respect for all beings.

If you are feeling especially unsettled these days, I’m happy to help you.

Check out my offerings and sessions on my website to see what resonates.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are there Reasons to Be Cheerful when your home is falling down or your parent is experiencing dementia?  That answer is a big fat yes! Some of my favorite discoveries on this website include creative ways to restore dignity while offering help. One project had volunteers restoring homes of older African Americans in order to create safety, build equity, and slow down gentrification. In Holland, dementia patients are working alongside farmers to grow food and care for animals. Supporting sustainable farms and giving meaning via contribution to elders or disabled persons who often feel marginalized. More than kindness or handouts, these projects empower active involvement. Big hearted dreamers making change.

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What’s your Way into Deep Peace?


Sometimes the world feels out of control.

Your personal world. The lives of those around you. Your country. The ecosystem. When so much happens around you, a sense of powerless arises. Even when you identify actions to take or ways to help others, the muchness of this sorrowful world can get to you. Making it a challenge to navigate your days.

It’s helpful to remember that all worldly transformation begins within.

And that you have the power to generate the healing energy of compassion and wise, peaceful solutions.

If you have a personal practice of meditation, prayer or devotion, you know the comfort and potential when you plug into that which is greater than you. Your body breathes more freely, your wild emotions settle, and your mind calms a bit.

This settling opens a door within your heart where you realize this “something greater than you” is also within you. Intimately accessible.

In that moment, you remember that you are not alone. You are a part of this immense web of energy. Intimately connected. This greatness, however defined, offers refuge from the storm within which rages in response to the overwhelming news of your/the world.



How do you get there?

Turn off the television and take a break from the news that streams through your phone. Breathe a bit and take a walk. The world will still turn without your witness and upset.

Reflect upon what brings you back to center.

Explore what you’re already doing, a spiritual practice you’d like to resurrect, or a new venture into a type of meditation that feels right for you. No judgement or great goal setting here. Just ask the wisdom within what might be helpful for you now.

There is comfort in meditation, centered prayer, and sacred ritual.

Research points to the benefits these activities have for wellbeing, improved health, social connection, and positive mood.

Yet it doesn’t descend like manna from heaven.

It’s up to you to head in the direction of peace, healing, and clarity. It helps to bring attention to breath and focus strongly upon your intention to feel peace. When it’s hard to do this on your own, especially when unable to regulate your upset, joining with others enhances the potential of calm connection.

Using the group as a springboard to an organized, calm energy state makes sense.

Group devotion or a focus upon peace is contagious. Just like fear, hatred, and division. The good news is that you’re in charge of what you “catch.” The media thrives on creating fear.

Bad news sells. Good vibes calm. Your choice.

Groups that meditate, pray, and chant together report greater personal access to higher states of love, compassion, and beauty.

 

Benefitting the individual and radiating through the group to the world the energy of harmony.

It’s an energy thing, first and foremost.

When you understand that energy is your foundational architecture, you’ll pay more attention to any technique or intent that organizes your energy into a coherent state. All healing is enhanced with coherence. For you, them, and this beautiful planet.

You can’t tame the sorrow, fear, or sense of helplessness when you’re lost in the wild mind or unruly body.

And the world needs you. Calm. Coherent. Connected. Whether it offers great peace or just allows you to breathe easier, your daily practice is worth it.

I encourage you to explore the power of the group in shared practice.

There are many options live or online in a wide variety of secular and spiritual practices. Explore what calls you. They all lead you to the same calm center and depth connection with the beautiful Mystery.

We will be Chanting in the Light Cathedrals at Soul Sanctuary on Thursday, February 10th.

This devotional practice of singing the sacred prayers of the kundalini yogic tradition is only one type of chanting. Wisdom traditions around the world have sung, chanted, and danced their prayers out loud or silently as a means to connect with the Divine within and beyond.

If you are curious about what happens when you chant, you may join us to experience this directly. Details and link below in the blue box.

A 2016 research study at Macquarie University in Australia found that chanting of various types to contribute toward positive mood, improved attention, and increased feelings of social cohesion.

You don’t need any experience to delve into the great peace and beauty that always emerges when we chant our way into coherence.

You can do your own “research” to explore your movement into harmony within your body, energy, group, and vast cosmic ecosystem.

And some good news for those new to chanting: inexperienced participants who engaged in vocal chanting, as compared to silent chanting, demonstrated the greatest number of significant benefits. [More on this study in the HeartWarming News below.]

Since energy is nonlocal, you can also chant your way into coherence at home.

Tune in and join the group at Soul Sanctuary with your intent and practice in your own sacred setting. The Light Cathedrals (structures of energy) that descend around Soul Sanctuary as we gather can also surround your home.

How to do that?

Set the intent, say your personal prayer, and notice how it feels to be surrounded in these sacred structures of light which harmonize your whole being.

Healing this beautiful world really does begin within.

And when unleashed, this powerful healing energy of love and compassion radiates outward in every interaction.

May you discover how you can be a source of healing and optimism for this world so in need of uplifting.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Researchers at Macquarie University also suggest that the benefits of vocal chanting may be mediated by three factors: group synchronization, which increases feelings of social cohesion; physiological changes (breath control and singing), which may contribute to increased positive mood; and focused attention, which may inhibit ruminative thinking and lead to increased positive mood. Do your own research. Chant alone silently and out loud. Compare that to chanting with a group. Silently. Listening to others. Singing out loud. This is playful research without the pressure to publish. Enjoy.

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What’s your Primary Stress Response?

A survey by the American Psychological Association found that the ideal level of stress is “below whatever level of stress is being experienced.” In other words, people experienced too much stress in their lives. I bet you didn’t need a professional to tell you that.

Yet, I wonder if you are taking stress for granted.

The “Stress Mismatch Theory” suggests that the body’s Stress Response System isn’t working for current humans. Arguing that it hasn’t evolved to meet the demands of the fast paced, complicated world in which you live.

Because fighting or fleeing is not typically appropriate for dealing with those modern day pirates and tigers found in traffic jams, pressure at work, a loss of the internet, or parenting challenges. It’s easy to believe this theory, especially on a particularly demanding day. 



Yet critics argue that this view limits understanding of the body’s intelligent, flexible stress response to only “Fight or Flight.”

Thus ignoring the “Tend and Befriend” and “Challenge” responses.

Each response produces different physiological changes which influence your thoughts, feelings, and actions. And lead to different outcomes. Understanding this variation gives you the power to observe your own response to stress and consciously make changes in your capacity to navigate life.

Remember this. When you are facing an actual tiger or pirate, your Stress Response of “Fight or Flight” is your best response.

You don’t need to calmly plan out your next step or consider the pirate’s feelings. You need to survive. And the powerful physiological response within your coordinated brain-body-energy system will make that happen.

But, let me ask you a question. How many actual pirates or tigers have you faced this week?

In your current reality, the multitude of stressors faced typically are not life threatening. When there is frequent activation of your Stress Response System, you experience the impact of lingering stress chemicals (eg cortisol, adrenaline), as well as incoherent patterns created in your brain’s neural structure and your heart rhythm.

Without intervention, it’s far too easy for your Stress Response System to become overloaded and resort to a limited repertoire of reactions. 



Most adults lose their emotional flexibility due to the accumulation of unprocessed effects of stress. Referred to as the “Stress Habit,” this rigidity creates additional stress which inhibits the higher order cognitive functions such as concentration, decision making, planning, and perspective taking. Making life that much harder.

You don’t have to live that way. 



Your amazing body system is primed to be flexible and adaptive. The brain-body connection allows for new learning and takes it’s instruction from the heart. Your beautiful heart is an intelligent system that communicates powerfully within your complex mind-body-energy system. 


You can refer to the heart as an organ, a brain, energy, or the seat of intuition.

 

A coherent heart rhythm organizes the mind-body-energy system into optimal functioning.

You not only become calmer, as you expand your perspective, you have access to skills, strategies, and wisdom gained along your life.

Research has shown that an integrated heart influences an integrated brain. 



This has many benefits, including improvements in well being, immune function, compassion, and resilience. Brain integration increases your capacity for learning when new linkages form across brain regions (neuroplasticity).

Coherent heart rhythms support the brain’s ability for creativity, novel problem-solving, and regulation of emotion, attention, thought, and behavior. 


If you want to intelligently navigate the challenges you’ll inevitably face in life, coherence is a strong ally.

On the other hand, an incoherent heart rhythm inhibits higher order cognitive function, leaving you less able to take a step back and consider events calmly and with perspective, or access your strategies.

Research reveals that positive and negative emotions create distinct changes in heart rhythm. 



This makes sense, doesn’t it? When you’re calm or grateful, you feel organized, open, and loving. When you’re frightened or angry, you’re rattled in your body, thinking, and speech. Combining the power of positive emotions, calming breath patterns, and the heart’s intelligence will help shift how you respond to stress. At any age. 


What can you do today to create heart coherence and increase flexibility in response to stress?

1. Acknowledge life is stressful and give yourself some space. 



More than likely, the demands and pace of your days adds to life stress. You’re at choice to slow down and create some space in your busy day. Let something go until another day. Give up being in charge of the world (and your small world.). Build in Mindful Minutes to breathe and look around as you walk to your car or climb the stairs in your home.

2. HeartBreathing: 3 Minute Practice.

HeartBreathing is a core component of Heart Assisted Therapy (an Energy Psychology method created by John Diepold, Phd). 



Take one minute to cross your palms on your heart and breathe slow and deep. Switch your palms, HeartBreathe and focus on what you’re grateful for in this moment. One more switch of the palms and the final minute of breathing. Focus on sending love to someone or someplace on the planet. Check in with yourself. What does it feel like to be in your body now? You are the scientist and your body system is the experiment. [Just don’t do while driving.]

3. Learn the basics about stress, heart coherence, and simple Energy Psychology techniques.


I’m teaching a 3 week series at Soul Sanctuary on Energy Psychology Essentials. These techniques are easy to learn and apply in your daily life. They clear out stress on all levels: energetic, physiological, emotional, and mental. As well as engage the parasympathetic nervous system which is the body’s natural relaxation and healing ally. (You can also check out the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology’s website).

4. The Self Soothe Strategy


I designed The Self Soothe Strategy PlayBook to offer easily digestible information about mindset, stress, heart coherence, and Energy Psychology. With practices that are immediately applicable. The accompanying downloadable recording is well worth the 19 minute investment to drop into coherence and begin the deep restoration of your mind-body-energy system. It is free and available on my home page (scroll down to access). 

It’s important to recognize the benefit to others.

You are naturally broadcasting your heart rhythm as you move through the day.

Thus, you are influencing the environment around you with centered calm or scattered anxiety. You know what it feels like to walk into an oasis of relaxation and good will vs. a pressured meeting with criticism and competition. This gives you a hint of what is happening within the physiology (heart, brain, body, energy) of those in the room.

Stress, then, is not only an individual issue. It must be recognized as a systems issue.



You are a change agent. Not only for yourself but for those sitting near you. At the dinner table, in the office, on the train, and in the food store. Let that sink in. And take a look at HeartMath’s research findings in the HeartWarming News below. Your heart coherence, or incoherence, makes a difference for those around you.

Allowing you to bring peace to the world, one HeartBreath at a time.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

HeartMath Institute has a wealth of research into the power of heart coherence. A measurable electromagnetic field surrounds each person, generated by the heart, brain, and other systems. HeartMath’s findings show that the heart’s electromagnetic field is approximately 5000x stronger than brain’s electromagnetic field. The heart’s electrical field has 40 – 60x more amplitude than brain’s electrical field. HeartMath has measured the heart’s pulsating influence up to 10 feet outside of the body. The brain’s electromagnetic field? Measured to extend a few inches outside of the head. Believe in the power of your heart.  

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Holiday Magic Brings Love to our Kids

I have some totally fantastic, unexpected news about Love O!

A friend of Gabriel and Ahaji who runs a local organization in Haiti has arranged for a shipping container of supplies to be sent from NYC to Haiti. AND he offered some space for Love O!

Oh, Holy Night! That got the Culture Camp elves singing!

The news arrived Sunday. The elves had 3 days to shop, organize, and pack. Lots of hustle and bustle. Other elves made the delivery to NYC on Friday and packed the containers.

Coming together as a team in a way that would make Santa proud.

In the past, the shipping container option was dismissed given the prohibitive cost. As were other means of sending goods to this small island in a big ocean. We always rolled suitcases full of supplies when heading to Haiti for Culture Camp and other visits.

You can imagine it was like the sleigh in the Grinch who Stole Christmas. Except backwards.

With bungee cords holding a tower of bulging suitcases atop our van.

You can see evidence of this good stuff in the photo of Wideline above. T shirts, bracelets, and paintings just give you a glimpse of the art, story telling, game playing, light bringing activities we’ve shared. Her smile is all her own.

As is her love and gratitude which is written all over her T shirt.

After 3 long years of being unable to visit due to disruptions in Haiti and our COVID world, this struggling family is getting a tangible breath of fresh air. In the form of school supplies and backpacks, clothing, medical supplies, toiletries, games, art supplies, sewing machines, and a computer.

Ahhhhhh. Put a dose of that happiness in your eggnog as you savor the miracles of this season.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to our Love Family in Haiti.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Connection to Humanity Quiz. The holidays often invites you to give generously to the communities, projects, and organizations  that mean something to you. If you consciously choose who you are giving to, it is likely that such offerings align with your values. One question researchers at Western Kentucky University asked was how much kinship you feel to humanity. Near to home, within your country, abroad, or generally across all of these factors. Want to know where you land?  Take this Connection to Humanity Quiz which is a modified version of the research instrument. You may be surprised who belongs in your “Family.”

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Brain Stilling: One Minute Magic

What are you trying to accomplish today?

Take a breath. Just asking the question tends to rev you up somedays, doesn’t it? The revving up comes either from the anxiety of not knowing the answer or the length of the “to-doing” intended for your day. Or perhaps from being in the midst of a challenging time in your life where getting anything accomplished is the furthest thing from your mind.

Now is a good time to practice the art of Brain Stilling.

This is not “brainstorming.” You already have enough storm activity in your thinking. Stilling the mind, to whatever degree is possible in any moment, has plenty of benefit for your mental, physical, and spiritual health. You know this at the core of your being. And there is plenty of research and your direct experience to confirm the benefit of stilling.

When you get revved up, for tiny or huge reasons, stress chemicals flood through your body.

Your heart beats faster, muscles clench, skin feels hot or sweats, and thoughts race. Before you curse this stress response, reflect for a moment on how useful it was when a predator appeared unexpectedly in your cave and threatened to eat your food and your family.

Back then, your stress chemicals were the greatest thing since sliced bread …. or perhaps fire.

In the 21st century, this glorious response system fires up at the many perceived and real threats you face. And you do face them. Living in a complex society, life became complicated. The mind became busy in response. That’s why it is so helpful to take a breath and put things in perspective.


Compare the perceived and smaller stressors to a predator attacking your cave while you reach for your little spear.

Many mind made dramas and annoyances aren’t so bad. Most stressors you face can be managed well by your inner resources. If you can access them. Your stress response system was designed to be flexible and empower you to rise to meet the challenges in your life. It was meant to serve you beyond the simple fight or flight response by supporting skill development.

My Self Soothe Strategy Playbook has more to add about how to work in concert with this intelligent response system. Download it here.

Scientists have estimated that you receive 2 million bits of information through your sensory channels each second.

Every single second. They suggest that approximately 134 bits of this information is actually processed on the conscious level. The remaining information gets stored at the subconscious level. Beneath the tip of the iceberg.

All of this data is ignored as it doesn’t match the “programming” of your brain’s search engine.

This “Google” function of your brain is mostly unconscious and works in coordination with the search engine “rules” which were learned (conditioned) as you grew. These rules guide your focus and influence perception and response to your reality. Becoming aware of your unconscious programming – those rules that guide your search engine and allow the 134 bits of information into your awareness – will help you tweak the rules that govern your living.

Brain Stilling also shifts stress chemicals to feel good chemicals that increase comfort, peace, and enjoyment.

Meditators know this experience. When you quiet the outer noise, those unconscious “rules” bubble up to the surface for your review. Once seen, you have the possibility for transformation. The benefit of stilling the mind and nervous system is enhanced when this practice is integrated in your waking moments.

Choosing a minute of stillness multiple times throughout the day has great benefit.

It just feels good to sit still. To stop moving, put down the phone, and step away from the tasks of living. Choosing a beautiful, natural environment encourages this practice. It doesn’t have to be complicated. I often stand in my driveway before leaving for work. Brainstilling: One Minute at a Time.Or sit on my deck and watch the trees dance. I sit in the dark at the end of the day or spend a minute in a parking lot before entering a store.

These minutes of stilling add up to a quieter mind and a calmer nervous system.

Brain stilling and becoming quiet is a dedicated practice. It is so simple that it requires reminders for most people, including me. While there is a benefit of a once a day stilling practice, you’ll get a more sustained effect when you build in minutes (or more) of stillness throughout your day.

It goes without saying that stilling involves silence.

The mind doesn’t quiet, nor does the body, when you’re yapping away. Create some mini space where you won’t be disturbed. Keep your eyes open. Just notice how your body is breathing you. And where your eyes wander. Thoughts will come and go. No need to manage them or prod them with your tiny spear.

Stilling is simple: Breathe in life. Sit still and be quiet. Enjoy the peace.

A silent, stilling practice will enhance your mental awareness and support health within your body, mind, and emotions. It opens a way into exploration of your inner nature and the spiritual path that beckons. In this complex, contentious society, simplicity is useful. Allowing your discovery of what’s below the billion bits of data flowing through the mind.

Discovering that stillness is your essential nature.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Stilling the mind allows for creativity to flourish. And good things emerge. Like Fugees Academy which began as a soccer team for refugee boys. Eventually the team expanded to tutoring, a summer camp, and then a small school. Recognizing that refugees are at a disadvantage in our school systems, especially for those age 14 or older, this creative school seeks to empower creativity, individuality, and academic success. Transformation emerges from the quiet, creative mind.

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True Confessions: I am an Amateur.

I felt like a kid in a candy store. 

Arriving to help my friend pack up her office in preparation for a move, I encountered two rooms with wall to wall book cases. This was my idea of heaven. My conversational skills receded as my head tilted to browse hundreds of titles lining the shelves. So much knowledge! My curiosity and delight threatened to take over.

I got a hold of myself. After all, I had a job to do.

I was there to corral a fellow book lover into letting go of a lifetime of really cool books. To release a multitude of journals, notebooks, and workshop notes. Ouch. That’s the thing about downsizing. You can’t take it with you. Well, you can take 10 tightly packed bankers boxes. A treasure trove of delight awaiting a new home.

As books were being offered to me, I realized the book addict in me was being tempted.

I got my head clear and activated my purpose for being there. It wasn’t so I could “shop.” After two days of organizing, packing, tossing, and donating books, one room was clear. With a plan and a sprinkle of hope that one day those other shelves would be emptied, I headed home. 

Taking only 3 books with me. Wait, I meant 4. 

With one being mailed to me. Okay, 5. And 3 photos of books I have to order. And 8 books to pass on. A few things for Soul Sanctuary. One new journal for some special person. And a really cool workshop handout. That’s it. Scout’s honor.

Here’s the skinny on those 3 books.

I put the yoga book away. Very interesting, but I thought I’d wait ’til I returned to practicing yoga.  The Egyptian Goddess? I peeked, but I’m not so keen on diving in yet. That will take some attention. I have a pile on my shelf where she went.

Why put off exploring this beneficial wisdom? 

I discovered the answer by reading the third book cover to cover. 

Light bathing on my deck the following afternoon, surrounded by birdsong and breeze, I devoured this small gem. They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but I did grab this book because of its title.

The War of Art. 

Cleverness intrigues me. And it was a small book.

It was a good thing the sun was shining on my comfort and curiosity. Because the author, screenwriter Steven Pressfield, calls it like it is. He offers a map to bring creativity into form. Taking your art – painting, writing, musical composition, entrepreneurial pursuits, or [put your art here] – and bringing it out of the realm of idea into material reality.

He challenges the artist to create consistently and with a diligence I’ve never achieved. And now I know why.

Because I’m an amateur, not a professional.

 

Pressfield distinguishes a profession, such as me being a psychologist and a mother, from a professional approach to creating art.

Even reading a few pages about what this means is enough to offer a mindset intervention. Yet, perhaps not quite sufficient for changing a life long pattern of being an amateur artist. 

The magic word in this book? Resistance.

Page after page. Example after example, he describes the resistance which lies within each of us. Ready to strike with a healthy dose of self sabotage, distraction, doubt or any of those internal obstacles which inhibit success. 

Resistance crashes dreams. Sometimes before they get lift.

After a while, I stopped reading as an “artist” and saw the influence of resistance across so many areas of my life. 

This tiny book was a lovely wake up call. Kind of like an artistic bitch slap. 

It stings a bit, but it’s a good sting if your creativity longs to express more fully. 

Just when my cheeks were red and sore, I got to the good part of his map. I’d hate to spoil the end of any book. Let’s just say any artist who mentions resistance, resilience, and creativity along with angels and the muse has got my full attention.

I’m still a book lover. Piles tend to manifest in my home as if out of thin air. 

They are artistically arranged in every room, bringing me great pleasure and a nugget of wisdom any time I wander into the open page. I guess that makes me a “professional” book lover and seeker of knowledge.

As for the artist in me. Well, she’s still an amateur.

An amateur who is appreciating the artistry and creative capacity of my inner resistance. I’ve got a lot to unpack and toss here. Downsizing my resistance so I can upsize my professional engagement of the muse. Sounds like a map I can follow.  

Moral of this story?  Good things happen when you clean your room.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are you prone to procrastination? A recent study from Bishop’s University in Canada suggests that procrastinators may have higher levels of stress (no duh). And a potential for lower levels of self-compassion. Ok, that makes sense. Increasing self-compassion helps you recognize the downside of procrastination (and other kinds of “resistance”) without getting lost in negative rumination and emotions. Increasing self-compassion may help you decrease stress, disrupt negative self-view, and support positive behavioral change.Sounds like a map you can follow.

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Love’s Song

 

What if it was true?
That you were made of Love,
worthy of Love,
guided by Love,
empowered by Love?

What if it was true?
That Love Flowed Freely
as Life,
as Unified Consciousness,
as what is called
Angels, You, Them, Earth?

What if Loved simply moved?
All particles of Love
Aware as they
Danced the Light Divine.
Singing
I AM that Love.
I AM that Light Divine.

Let go the illusion
which leaves the ‘i’ 
separate, unworthy, afraid.
Longing to be
embraced
re-membered
sourced
by Love Itself.

Let go the false longing.


Witness the Truth of Love’s 
ever present movement.
Participate in the Song of Life.
I AM here. I AM available. 
I AM the Light Divine.

Gone, then, are the humans,
angels, earth forms.
Only Love moving 
as humans, 
angels,
earth forms.

Singing ONE song
which is 
Love’s Song. 

Let yourself know this is true.
This Song is What You Are.
Love’s Song
Broadcasting 
Beautifully
Always and 
Forever
Amen.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

“Love is a lot like air. It may be hard to see, but it’s in you and all around you.” Psychologist Rick Hanson, PhD isn’t pulling this idea out of thin air. Many scientists believe that love, defined broadly, has been the primary driving force behind the evolution of the brain. Groups of early humans who were skilled at understanding and caring for each other outcompeted less cooperative and loving groups. They lived to pass on genes of empathy, bonding, friendship, altruism, romance, compassion, and kindness. Love is in your DNA.