Outrage.
As I listened to people react to the Trump supporters storming the Capitol in Washington, I witnessed outrage. In their tone of voice, in their facial expressions, and in the question-statements they made. Can you believe this happened? Can you believe this president? Can you believe these people?
I can. I can believe it.
The invitation to revolt against the idea of a rigged election has been promoted across the internet, within the extremist groups, and by the president himself. It has been demonstrated in the great divide within our country for years now. Promoted by a sophisticated system of disseminating information that speaks to the insecurity, anger, and elitism of many groups.
Creating an enemy in plain sight.
It’s just that the enemy is a complex, shifting target. It may be the Democrats. Or people of color. Or immigrants. Or liberals. Or police. Or policies. Or Republicans. Or anyone who doesn’t agree with me. And on it goes. Outrage. Judgment. Seething anger. Violent action.
As I listened to people ardently against governmental control of freedoms, I heard the outrage.
About systems creating restrictions on their ability to keep a business open, to earn a living, and to make their own choice for health treatment. Can you believe these policies? These people? This manipulation? I can. I can believe it.
It’s not new.
This “us vs. them” divide has been impacting lives throughout human history. It’s complicated and built on systems of thought, social structure, racial inequity, economic policies, tribalism, and more. There’s so much more to it than the common person can understand. Yet, the common person already has a strong opinion and is easily placed within one side or another.
What side are you on?
That’s a serious question. And one that’s probably not to hard to answer. Take the insurrection at the Capitol for example. What side are you on? I’m sure you know. Looking at your reaction will let others know as well. When I looked at the images from the Capitol, I noticed something.
Outrage.
Within the crowd contagion effect, I witnessed righteous outrage. Splashed across the media, it was apparent in voices, on faces, and through body movement. Outrage fueled this disruption to the orderly democratic process. And alongside the outrage is fear which arose when witnessing chaos, violence, and the overwhelm of protective systems.
It is deeply disturbing.
I mean this at a very basic level. It is deeply disturbing to the human nervous system. As I listened to people express their outrage to me, I heard and felt an escalating disruption in their nervous systems. The heart beating fast as intense emotions were expressed. The breath shortening as the words tumbled out upon one another. Faster and more upset with every sentence. I witnessed (and felt) the same response when watching videos of the event.
Open to whomever was speaking. To the information that was flowing.
To a solution that was arising in the moment. I’m not at my best when I’m disturbed. If my physiology launches me into a fight or flight mode, then my survival function will guide my reactivity. I’ll launch into outrage or ostrich (a fear response of withdrawal or avoidance). I’ll express it or suppress it. Either way, I’m disturbed.
You can’t bridge the divide when you’re disturbed.
You won’t even consider this as an option. Yet, if you don’t go beyond outrage or ostrich, you’ll only polarize your position and prolong the war with the “enemy.” I don’t have any answers for the complicated mess we’re in as a country. I only ask what I may do in this moment to bridge the divide that is playing out in the world.
Here’s 3 things I’m doing to bridge the divide between “us and them.”
1. Soothe my system whenever I’m disturbed.
If my nervous system is dysregulated, I’ll react from my unconscious programming. I’ll fall into the divide rather than reach across the chasm. I’d rather respond with an open heart and let my higher wisdom guide my thoughts and actions. I believe that mastering self-soothing is an essential skill for living. My go to is the Self Soothe Strategy which is available on my home page. Download the booklet and guided practice (mp3) here.
2. Meet the “other” as an individual rather than a group or an idea.
When you seek the commonalities with another, you’ll find them. Personalizing the other helps you see how you share so many aspects of living. The Greater Good Science Center offers the Shared Identity practice so you may find common ground rather than a battle ground. Access it here.
3. Soften my judgment.
I understand when I judge, I am feeling separate or threatened in the moment. I drop into connection with my own being, ground deeply within Pachamama (Earth), and open my heart to whomever or whatever I am judging. Then I seek the place in me that is threatened and I soothe that. This allows me to soften my judgement of another (or myself for being judgmental).
I’d rather be a lover than a judger.
I imagine that it will take a while to attain that position. I’m okay with that. I’m interested in shifting perspectives in order to discover that common ground between the humans who share this country.
How I choose to broadcast on social media (eg, this blog) seeks to enhance potential for perspective shifting rather than taking sides.
Read more about how important that can be in the Heartwarming News below.
Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.
Pinker, author of The Better Angels of Our Nature, argues that the printing press may have had an important role in increasing levels of empathy. Making it possible to read stories framed in the perspective of others. He even speculates that some literature written from the perspective of black slaves may have been instrumental to the abolition of slavery. In current time, the use of many social media platforms seem to encourage the taking of sides more than exploring the perspective of others. Learning more about the lives of those who think, act, and live differently from you increases the potential for understanding and a true desire to find common ground.
Learn the one essential skill that allows you to face any challenge with confidence, sturdiness, and inner calm.
More than a technique. It’s a game changer.
ia Sophia has arrived. This “Way of Wisdom” offers an invitation to step upon a Living Spiral Path and discover a new understanding of what it means to embody the Mystical Feminine.
For the past fifteen years I have lived and taught within the Mystical Feminine. I have sat within many circles and immersions with women as we explored how to practically and powerfully engage Feminine wisdom in everyday life.
When my daughter was in eighth grade, she and her Girl Scout troop were beginning to explore ideas for their individual Silver Award projects.
Around our dinner table, we tossed around possibilities. Nothing landed. Nothing stirred real interest. So we encouraged her to do what we have always trusted. Stay open. Listen. Pay attention to what people are talking about in the world.
Driving into Soul Sanctuary last weekend, I noticed the trees were engaged in a wild dance.
I should have paid closer attention as I got out of the car, because the wind nearly took me with it. Walking to the door, I had to lean in and brace myself for a moment just to stay upright. The cold whipped through my clothes and found every uncovered space, sharing its bone-numbing chill.
We recently had a big snow in my neck of the woods.
Everyone was hunkered down. The fridge was full, chicken soup was bubbling on the stove, and my book pile sat patiently on the coffee table. As the snow covered the neighborhood and the plows dumped fresh mounds over our carefully shoveled walk, we took turns peeking outside.
As a kid, snowstorms were pure joy.
“I think we need to be friends.”
Those were the first words out of my mouth when I introduced myself to Rev. Hilda Covington. We’d just finished a county meeting of nonprofit mental health and social service agencies. She was the presenter that month. We almost didn’t meet because Hilda arrived an hour and a half late to a two-hour meeting.
Life has a rhythm. It speeds up and slows down according to mysterious forces.
Your personal rhythm dances with the celestial bodies, seasons of the year, developmental phases, and the pulse of your Soulful evolutionary process. Living in harmony with these rhythms is in many ways hard to understand as it is a complicated and deeply personal process. Your rhythm dances with everyone’s rhythm in the grand Cosmic Dance.
