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The Art of

WholeHearted Living

Stories, Strategies and Surprises

Blunders and (future) Burdens

  • January 8, 2021
Creative background. Old wooden door, blue color, in the box. Transition to a different climate. The concept of climate change, portal, magic. Copy space.


Yesterday taught me something valuable.

After an enjoyable and long day of working, I tuned into the highlights of the inaugural ceremonies and celebration. I’m aware of the potential of any significant change, such as a transfer of leadership, to raise or lower the human capacity to live well.

Curious about the prevailing message of the day, I surfed the highlights.

Grateful for freedom to choose what I watched on youtube, granting me the ability to avoid the “noise” of commentary. I saw evidence of a transfer of leadership – peaceful, solemn, joyous, determined. Historic for many reasons, including welcoming a woman of color as vice president. I watched the live evening events focused upon new opportunities, the need for repair, the goodness of people, and the benefit of serving one another.

Promoting the capacity to live and work well, together as a human family sharing a country.

To honor one another and those who have suffered. To reach for one another so that they may know to reach back. To commit to finding a way to tend, mend, and grow. To step up and sing together. To begin to continue to complex work of bridging instead of dividing people.

Words, actions, and songs reflecting the need for love, caring, and respect.

And sure, we need lots of intelligence, fortitude, courage, and faith in our capacity to rise to every challenge. All of this may be familiar as rhetoric so often heard in political speeches and well orchestrated programs designed to inspire unity within a county. And to call forth the agreement that some grit is required if true transformation is to occur.

I also wondered about those too angry or disheartened to tune in.

I thought of those I know who think very differently than me. About people who resist the new ideas, with these leaders’ underlying and far reaching ideals. Who feel threatened by what is to come and are disheartened by this new direction. I felt the potential for more division, more derision, and more misunderstanding.

And then a young woman poetically reminded us that our blunders are the next generations’ burdens.

Oh. A realization emerged. I speak of bridging while I remain divided. I’m okay with having a stance. I express my disagreement or condemnation of those ideas, ideals, actions, and rhetoric which I believe dehumanize people and divide us. With clarity, it leads me to action which aligns with my beliefs. And I’m okay with you having a stance.

I’m doing the same as everyone else here, regardless of “side.”

Today I was grateful to have some conversations with people on both sides. Some were happy. Some were wounded. Insulted. Disheartened. I sought to understand and learned that flames had been fanned by a deep insult. Grouping everyone together on one side and labeling them in a certain way. A group is not an individual. For her, it simply wasn’t true. 

“I want peace.” was the plaintive cry. I heard her pain.

My actions align with my beliefs. Or do they? If I speak with derision of someone’s lack of respect in how they conduct themselves, am I not disrespectful? If I make fun of another whom I disagree with, even on core fundamental beliefs, aren’t I diminishing their personhood? And on and on these questions arose.

Revealing my blunders. Contributing to the future ….. burdens that I scatter about mindlessly by my actions.

I’m mostly surrounded by people who think similarly to me. People interested in personal transformation. Spiritual seekers and yogis. Humanitarians. Those committed to bringing light, harmony, and improved conditions for humanity and the planet.

So, it’s easy to miss the obvious.

Disrespect is disrespect.


There is a way to express a difference of opinion or belief with consideration for the other.

To condone an action and take a different route in response without demonizing those you oppose. A 16 year old told me recently that she stopped going on Tik Tok so frequently. What used to be clever, entertaining, and funny had turned mean. She was so over the meanness of social media. That wasn’t fun nor funny.

Mean humor is deprecating.

Disparaging another human, even when their behavior is abhorrent to you, disparages all humans. You know this. So do I. I’m not trying to preach to the choir of good people wanting to be better people and improve the world. I want that. I know you do also. And I enjoy a good laugh at the expense of myself and my fellow, fallible humans like the rest of us.

But, a new dawn can’t bloom without me (and you).

I heard a call to action last night. To be a better human. To start in the mirror and within my deeply seeded conditioned beliefs. To notice how easy it is to disrespect another without consciously intending that result. And to see how it is okay to do so in those circles who think like me.

Hmmmmn. Maybe I’m not so different than those I judge.

And maybe my first bridge to be built is within.

(Blunders and burdens inspired by Amanda Gorman’s inaugural poem. Let the young wisely lead us forward.)

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Good News, Wise Strategies, and Reasons to Be Cheerful. When you are in need of restoration, solutions, and a general pick me up, seek those sources which uplift. And point the way to inspired solutions. There is plenty of good in the world. Plenty of people using heart, innovation, and compassion to improve things. Here are two of my favorite places to be inspired, celebrate the good, and seek positive strategies. The Greater Good Science Center at Cal Berkley offers the Greater Good Magazine. David Byrne of Talking Heads fame sends out a Reasons to be Cheerful Blog. There’s just so much good in this amazing world. Seek it!

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  • 110 Marter Avenue, Suite 206
  • Moorestown, NJ 08057
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  • © Kathy Milano 2024
  • Designed by Soul Stirring Branding
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  • Website Development by Rich Ferucci Design & Consulting
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