I’m a bit of a news hound these days.

As one who hasn’t watched a newscast in years, I’m surprising myself. Ordinarily, I wait for the news to come to me. And it does. When something is important for me to know or respond to, I hear about it. Kind friends, clients, my husband, or a random stranger share a soundbite which cues me to look into a situation further. I’ve been very comfortable with this level of engagement for years now.

I’m not one to drift on social media. In fact, I’ve spent less time on all platforms than anyone I know.

I made a decision years ago to “pull” data rather than have it “pushed” to me. So, no notifications, no newsfeed, and under 15 email subscriptions. The result is that I feel freer to meander through the informational streams of life. Those delivered through people, the natural world, my inner musings, and a direct connection to something wiser and brighter than myself.

That all changed a few weeks ago when I was lured down the rabbit hole.

It began innocently enough. I was telling a friend about something on youtube and pulled it up to send to her. When I hung up the phone, I noticed the next video was a monologue from a late night host. I watched it and laughed through my discomfort of what he was sharing. Funny and clever, I liked his delivery so I returned the following day for more “news.”

I now see that was my point of entry to a much deeper exploration.

Youtube has the power to suck you in and drag you through all things relevant and wasteful. I get that it is a gateway drug to social media addiction, as well as a free source of inspiration and entertainment. Did I mention time wasting? That, too, as I’m sure you’ve experienced regardless of wherever you travel through the digital world.

Following my morning “monologue,” I found an enticing talk and figured I had 13 minutes to become educated.

It was helpful. I agreed with some of what I heard, learned something new, didn’t understand a few references, and was mildly aware that this presentation was built on a larger foundation of belief and perspective about the world at large. So, I dove deeper within that organization’s video series. And deeper. And deeper.

I’m uncomfortable as hell.

I’m so uncomfortable, I want to put my phone down, grab a novel, and sink into my happy place. As life would have it, I couldn’t seem to get into the book I was reading. In fact, I returned it to the library. That was new because I read fiction every morning and evening and always finish my book. Reading fiction is oxygen to me and a very well engrained habit. So, I was quite surprised when I gave up on 6 books in a row. This was unheard of in the history of my reading habit which began in earnest in 5th grade.

I know it is no coincidence that I was guided to my nonfiction book pile as I was also leapfrogging right and left through commentaries and reports on what was happening in the world.

When reading nonfiction, I typically read 3-4 books at one time. Gaining a bit of information from each source and letting it settle so I may integrate the knowledge in my everyday life. It’s a bit like a puzzle as the pieces from various sources coalesce into a larger picture, often leading to an expansion in my world view. I saw how my puzzle process was now including the written word, online articles, videos, and podcasts.

I’m bingeing a wide array of topics and perspectives about what is most important, solutions for making the world “work,” and why the author feels their position is correct.

Being uncomfortable and staying the course is a choice. In realizing there is a whole world that thinks differently than me and my “likeminded” community, family, and friends, I wanted to understand how to be in that world too. I can’t imagine being a part of one human “family” if I don’t understand how my “family members” think, feel, and act.

So, I’m diving deeply into perspectives that are very different than my own.