It started out with a recognition that my mind was crowded.
The result of a busy schedule, too much screen time, and an inbox that seemed to fill as soon as I emptied it. All of this after years of committing to space for myself and a consistent weeding out a lot of what was unnecessary.
It was part of my delusion that I was successfully living this intent.
Perhaps it was the day I realized I was checking email a few times a day. Just to stay on top of it. And to get the little oxytocin hit of pleasure when I deleted those impersonal emails, even the inspirational ones, that I never got around to reading. I wondered at the activity of deleting just to feel in control of my inbox.
I began to understand this was my mind’s way of feeling successful and in charge.
Successful at deleting emails that I wasn’t reading. That’s really quite funny.
A tired brain, an inner call for spaciousness, and the lure of silence led me to a decision. In preparation for my personal silent retreat, I’d unsubscribe from most email lists as an experiment. Just for a month or two. To see the impact of creating more space in my inbox. I didn’t think it was a big deal.
I was the Mistress of Unsubscribe as soon as I ordered an item or downloaded a free resource.
I believed I didn’t allow data to get “pushed” to me. Rather I “pulled” it when I wanted to know something. Same thing with my phone. I have no notifications, no sounds, and most often, no ringer. I’m in charge of choosing when to look at my phone, rather than responding to every email, text, or call. So, it should be no big deal to release the 10 to 12 emails that flowed to me.
I expected to feel free as I began this process.
It started out easily enough. A few stores where I had accounts. My bank letting me know when statements were ready to download. PSE&G informing me of my upcoming auto pay. A blog I hadn’t read in a long time.
Delete. Delete. Delete. Mini oxytocin hits.
Feeling good, I decided to uplevel my experiment. I’d let go of all emails with the exception of my professional organization and perhaps two sources of inspiration.
I didn’t expect the anxiety that creeped in as my mind got involved.
What if I needed that information? What if I hurt someone’s feelings? What if I missed something? What about that blog that had some great research or good news from around the world?
What ifs kept coming. So did the emails.
My estimate of 10 to 12 emails was way off. For someone who “wasn’t on email lists,” I was amazed when I unsubscribed from 25, then 30 lists. I hesitated when it came to my favorite organizations, people I admired, important environmental activist groups.
So, I let more go. My church. My favorite organizations. My colleagues.
I sent a few notes explaining my decision. Letting them know I’d be back after my experiment. I realized this was in part to soothe the subtle anxiety that others may think I didn’t value their work or words. That wasn’t true, I valued so much of what others have to offer. I also value my serenity. And then I had another revelation.
All that information was available online and I knew how to use Google.
I had to laugh. I could visit these websites anytime I chose. With that, all my tension released.
Spaciousness in my communications. Ease in finding and responding to my work and personal emails.
A quieting of any need to check email throughout the day. It was no longer a delusional game of control. My attention was free to wander through my silence, fully engage the one I was speaking with, or enjoy the tasks that arose each moment.
Free of the subtle tension about missing something, my mind introduced a new game.
I felt a bit disappointed when I checked my email and there was nothing there. Now that was interesting. I discovered layers in that disappointment. No mini oxytocin hit or feeling of being in charge of my little universe. A sense of disconnect from information, people, and gaining wisdom from my teachers. Checking into this more deeply, I realized none of it was true.
Instead I was free to engage the world in a much more present and personal manner.
And then I inadvertently unsubscribed from 2 emails I actually did read. I noticed, but didn’t feel anxious, disappointed, or concerned. I’ll take the hint and keep on unsubscribing until only friends, family, clients, and colleagues fill my inbox.
A quieter inbox invited a natural stillness. My mind is no longer rebelling.
It’s just resting more easily. Kinda like spending a lazy afternoon in a hammock swinging between two palm trees on the beach. The oxytocin nourishes my brain and being more consistently this way.
Less mindless addiction and more swaying in the breeze.
Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.
HeartMath Institute has a wealth of research into the power of heart coherence. A measurable electromagnetic field surrounds each person, generated by the heart, brain, and other systems. HeartMath’s findings show that the heart’s electromagnetic field is approximately 5000x stronger than brain’s electromagnetic field. The heart’s electrical field has 40 – 60x more amplitude than brain’s electrical field. HeartMath has measured the heart’s pulsating influence up to 10 feet outside of the body. The brain’s electromagnetic field? Measured to extend a few inches outside of the head. Believe in the power of your heart.
Learn the one essential skill that allows you to face any challenge with confidence, sturdiness, and inner calm.
More than a technique. It’s a game changer.
When standing at a crossroad in your life, it’s natural to seek answers. To search for certainty about your next steps. To want assurance that the decision you are making will lead you in the right direction, with the best possible outcome. Here’s where your mind jumps in.
There are conversations you may instinctively avoid. Death. Dying. The journey beyond are among them. The final exhale. The closing of the body. The long walk home. The next place of being. In many ancient traditions, this is not an ending, but a sacred passage—a birth into new realms of being. Yet here, in this fast-moving world, death often remains veiled in silence, wrapped in fear, and avoided in conversation.
There are conversations you may instinctively avoid. Death. Dying. The journey beyond are among them. The final exhale. The closing of the body. The long walk home. The next place of being. In many ancient traditions, this is not an ending, but a sacred passage—a birth into new realms of being. Yet here, in this fast-moving world, death often remains veiled in silence, wrapped in fear, and avoided in conversation.
I was playing the game “Headbands” with my dog the other day. Playing board games and interactive games like charades are good fun. Given my kid has flown the coop, we hoodwinked our dog to play a rousing game of Headbands with us. We even let Milo choose the first card, but he seemed to have a hard time guessing what his card said.
As you celebrated the Summer Solstice and the New Moon this past week, our beloved shamans who are South of the Equator were celebrating the Winter Solstice in Cusco, Peru. Inti Raymi, the Festival of the Sun, takes place on June 24th to commemorate the beginning of the Inca New Year and the Winter Solstice. Originating in the 15th century by Emperor Pachakuti, Inti Raymi was created as major Inca festival to honor the sun god Inti.
These past months have been filled with confusion, anger, and fear for many in this country. Witnessing deportations without due process, assaults on the courts and universities, flip flopping tariffs, and military action have shaken the foundational sense of safety and justice for many Americans. I’ve been listening to you and engaging in many conversations about how to live in balance during these times.
