Category: Blog-Soulful Living

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SisterHood is Heading Back to School


As a kid, I had mixed feelings about heading back to school. 

I loved the freedom of summer days running around the neighborhood, sleeping under the stars, and vacationing at the beach or mountains. I didn’t need any research to convince me of the power of free time to play with friends, enjoy family, and explore the natural world. Those days of warmth, extended light, and freedom from structure restored the body, brain, and spirit.

Kids glow during the summer and not just from a touch of sun.

Too bad we mature, civilized adults didn’t build in an equivalent of an extended seasonal vacation into our work life. In the US, unless you have the financial means and permission from work to take frequent vacations or staycations, you’re grinding through 50 weeks a year at work. This definitely dampens the health and wellbeing of every body, mind, and spirit. But, I digress.

I wasn’t so keen on summer ending even if there were some perks about returning to school. 

Aside from seeing friends and enjoying school, I was always enticed by back to school shopping. I loved the trip to the stationary store with my mom and returning home to organize my notebooks, pencils, and backpack. I realize now that my delight wasn’t just about the “stuff” I carried, rather it was more about what it represented. 

A brand new notebook offered me the promise of building upon old knowledge to reveal doorways into something greater. 

I still love my school supplies and I’m still pursuing my “higher education.” If I could transport my shelves of colorful binders and notebooks along with my computer to a tropical island, I’d have enough course material to keep me busy for 6 months. As I create and consume, I welcome the pleasure of organizing all of this wisdom in colorful binders and matching notebooks. 

I’m not taking these gifts of school supplies, love of learning, and positive experiences in education lightly. 

As a school psychologist and therapist who worked decades in the nonprofit world, I’m well aware that not every child has access to the financial, family, or school support that foster growth. That’s why I’ve been running back to school supply drives for the past 30 years.

Donating school supplies may seem like a token action, allowing the giver to feel good, but making a questionable difference to the tremendous learning difficulties, poverty, or family challenges some kids face.

I know better. I’ve learned of the value of a new notebook or backpack from kids and teens who feel shame, worry, and discomfort when they don’t measure up to their peers. And, unfortunately, when they’ve been shamed by teachers for not being “prepared” with the required supplies.

School supplies matter to these kids. And they bring relief to overstressed parents.

All school supplies donated to Sisterhood serve impoverished families in Burlington City, NJ.

By now you know the drill. Drop off your school supplies at Soul Sanctuary. If it’s easier to let me do the shopping, I’m happy to do that.

Venmo me at Kathleen-Milano-2 or send via Pay Pal @kathymilanophd. Please indicate it is for Sisterhood. Be assured that every cent goes to them. 

Drop off at Soul Sanctuary or donate by August 23rd please.

You can drop off in the lobby or outside if door is locked (I’ll grab it) on Mondays, Wednesdays, or Fridays 9 – 5pm. I’ll deliver everything on the 24th so the kids and teens can pick out what they need. 

You choose whatever you want to give. Donations will fill in the rest.

It’s great to have backpacks (5 Below), 3 subject notebooks, binders, and notebooks. If you’re shopping for the young ones, please buy the smaller packs of markers (12, 24) or crayons (24, 48) for individual use.

Thanks for your ongoing support of SisterHood in Burlington City. Year after year you show up.

I know the good work that Rev Hilda Covington and her volunteers offer the neighborhood. And I know first hand the appreciation of these kids, teens, and parents.  All donations are given anonymously in order to support Sisterhood’s mission and respect the families they serve. 

So, I’ll say thanks to all of you from all of them. Now, let’s get these kids ready to learn.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Dolphins, those #2 on the intelligent creature list, sure know the value of play! With all the stress of deadlines, to do lists, and multitasking of life, humans sometimes forget the value of playing a game with their friends. Scientists off the coast of Kauai and Maui have filmed dolphins and whales playing together. A dolphin swims onto the nose of a whale who then raises themselves slowly out of the water so the dolphin may “slide” down its back. Consciously breathing, playing with friends, and frolicking in the waters of life. Seems like we humans just got schooled.

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Breathe Like a Dolphin

Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

It’s not that they are inherently suspicious creatures. Actually, they are quite lovely in their social engagement, curiosity, and self awareness. Considered the second smartest animal in the world (humans being the first), they have the capacity to communicate through language, plan for the future, and solve complex problems.

Unlike humans, for whom breathing is an autonomic (automatic) function, dolphins must consciously decide to breathe.

If dolphins entered fully into unconscious sleep, they would fail to breathe and thus drown. Given this vital need for conscious control of their breathing, dolphins only let one half of their brain sleep at a time.

They enter unihemispheric sleep when closing the left eye as the right half of the brain sleeps.

This allows the left hemisphere to take charge of breathing and be alert for dangers in their environment. While alternating sleep between hemispheres, dolphins swim very slowly or rest motionless on the water’s surface. This way they get the rest they need without ever losing consciousness.

Dolphins are not only bringers of joy and delight, they are expert practitioners of mindful breathing.

If you want to improve your state of mind, health, and potential for wellbeing, start breathing like a dolphin.

Yogic technology, mind-body medicine, and spiritual traditions recognize the value of conscious breathing.

Aside from countless research studies, your own personal experience will reveal the benefits. Engaging a mindful, relaxing breath pattern restores balance at all levels of your being. As you breathe, you’re detoxing the stress chemicals, negative thought patterns, and escalated emotions. Calming the mind, increasing mental focus, organizing your brain-body communication, and clearing energetic channels. Priming you to move into a quiet meditation or move through your day aware and in balance.

You can act like a dolphin any time you consciously observe and control your breath, strengthening your awareness of the mind-body connection.

Whether you engage mindful breathing to decrease stress, enhance your mental focus, or lower your blood pressure, your body will thank you. These simple practices, so easy to master, have tremendous health benefits. Such as rejuvenating the nervous system, improving digestion, easing pain, supporting respiratory functions, and increase immunity.

Perhaps your newfound sense of ease, increase in energy, and surge of pleasure inducing chemicals will be enough to motivate a daily practice.

Emphasis on daily and practice. When you’re in the middle of a crisis and your hair is on fire, that’s not the best time to begin your training in dolphin breathing. A daily practice builds your “breathing muscle” so that you can get to it quickly and with ease when needed.

With enough practice, this beneficial habit of taking a deep breath may even wake you out of your anxious sleepwalking through the day.

The next time you need to interrupt the fight or flight stress response, get conscious and choose a breathing practice. Immediately. Breath techniques are also very beneficial partners for the tend and befriend stress response and the challenge response.

Did you know that there are more stress responses than just fight or flight?

And that if you perceive stress as positive rather than detrimental, it doesn’t have the same debilitating effect on health, mindset, and longevity? Head to my Free Resource page to grab The Self Soothe Strategy. More on all of that in my PlayBook and a nice relaxing HeartBreathing practice to download (and master!).

Here are a few breathing practices designed to invite a state of deep relaxation, mind-body harmony, and enhanced mental focus.

Box breathing or the 4-4-4-4 breath is easy to practice.

Count to 4 with a slow inhale, hold for a count of 4, exhale slowly for 4, and hold for 4. Repeat. Be gentle with the holding of the breath. It isn’t a rigid holding, just a chance for your body to replenish oxygen, giving your organs and tissues a much needed oxygen boost.

The 4-7-8 breathing practice is based upon an ancient yogic practice.

It’s helpful to place the tip of the tongue on the roof of the mouth behind the front teeth throughout this practice. Begin with an exhale through the open mouth, letting the air go out in a “whoosh” sound. Breathe in through the nose for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 7 (relax). Exhale slowly through the mouth, choosing for a count of 8. You may work up to this pattern, so begin with whatever count you need and extend it with practice.

Alternate nostril breathing is another yogic technique that induces relaxation, clarity, and harmony throughout the body.

There are a few varieties with this technique and you may want to explore this with a quick Google search. At first, this may feel a little awkward, but it is definitely worth the practice.

Finally, my go to favorite involves taking 9 Self Regulating HeartBreaths.

Crossing your palms and resting them on your heart, you take 3 breaths. This is a “HeartBreath.” Just noticing how your body breaths you. Switch palms and repeat. Again, switch palms and repeat. 9 HeartBreaths brings your heart rhythm into coherence and the enter body sings with the harmony that change brings.

The similarity between you and a dolphin is that you both have a choice.

You can continue to breathe even when you’re unconsciously stressing through your day. You won’t die. But, you won’t live the fullness of what life has to offer when you allow your body to hold tension, diminish health, and reduce mental capacity. When you don’t breathe mindfully and in a relaxed state, you may move further down that intelligent animal list.

Don’t let the other intelligent species (crows, pigs, and chimps) sneak up on you. Breathe like a dolphin, enhance your intelligent body-mind system, and maybe, just maybe, leap a bit with joy.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Dolphins, those #2 on the intelligent creature list, sure know the value of play! With all the stress of deadlines, to do lists, and multitasking of life, humans sometimes forget the value of playing a game with their friends. Scientists off the coast of Kauai and Maui have filmed dolphins and whales playing together. A dolphin swims onto the nose of a whale who then raises themselves slowly out of the water so the dolphin may “slide” down its back. Consciously breathing, playing with friends, and frolicking in the waters of life. Seems like we humans just got schooled.

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Label Me This?

I had a lot of conversations and emails after my last blog on gender fluidity.

Thanks for that. There were a few that especially got my wee brain to thinking. One in particular questioned whether we were all making too much of these labels. And if it would be more beneficial to focus on the person and how we feel about them. Shared with a beautiful yet poignant example of a family’s love and acceptance of a trans child.

So I headed to the thinking spot of my favorite boy bear, Winnie the Pooh. “Think, think, think.”

A few scenes from my life flashed with this contemplation. None of them about gender identification, by the way. All of them about the use of labels with some benefits and some cons.

Nearing completion of my clinical psychology PhD program, I worked a 12 month internship at a Pennsylvania state school and hospital for adolescents. I have lots of flashes of memories of that time, both exhilarating and deeply humbling. Mostly, I felt grateful to enjoy the quality training, my likable colleagues, and those often delightful, usually challenging teens.

Getting teased one day by the staff, I was asked if they’d have to call me “Doctor” when I graduated. “You betcha,” I said “even my mother has to call me freakin’ doctor!”

We shared a good laugh and got back to work. As I walked back to the intern office, I realized that I meant it. I was finishing the most challenging 6 years of my educational life and I was damn sure gonna use that hard earned title. Even now, as I recall the challenges of those years and the way I grew, I understand that sentiment. That label was really important as I strengthened my new identity.

I was ready to slap Doctor in front of my name at every opportunity.

When I graduated, the staff thoughtfully gave me a shiny gold nameplate for my desk. I read my name with its PhD caboose with a grateful smile as we all celebrated. “One more gift!” said my coworker as she handed me one more nameplate.

“Call me freakin’ doctor”

You can bet that nameplate went on my desk in the intern office. Then life went on as I left the world of academia and wobbled into environments that would test and mold me as a young “doctor.” The days of handholding were long gone.

Another memory arrived which fast forwarded me a dozen years when I was running a nonprofit agency in New Jersey. Working within a creative model, we helped teens stay out of those hospitals and residential centers so they could heal in community. Truth be told, those centers didn’t want these kids given the severity of their trauma and behavior. Training newly graduated PhD clinicians, I noticed something telling.

These young therapists threw around their “doctor” label like enthusiastic guests with confetti at a wedding.

I understood this. I remembered the insecurity I felt as I entered new jobs requiring competent application of my clinical skills which often seemed shaky at best in the face of tremendous challenge. In supervision, we explored their vulnerabilities and strengthened their skills.

I helped these new PhDs soften their use of “Doctor.” Learning there was a time and place for this label.

Exploring how to use or not use with community colleagues and examine the benefit of this label with clients, in school meetings, and at court appearances. Including how that well-earned term provided bolstering to shaky legs and a nervous stomach. 

Relationships shifted when Dr. was followed by a first name or plain old first names were used with protective service case workers who had decades of experience. Interactions with a little labeling thrown in as a descriptor or token of respect kept the focus on the people, not the label.

It was also a time of label dissection to peel off the many diagnosis and rigid opinions about these teens and their families.

Labels carried information, yet unexamined, they often disrupt the potential to experience the (real live) person in front of you. It made better sense to help staff, community agencies, the teens, and their families understand their needs, strengths, and behaviors in ways that defied the demonizing labels they all carried. Examining individual strengths, vulnerabilities, gifts, and skills yet to be developed empowered healing rather than diminishing a person as part of an “undesirable” group.

It was valuable work, this label deconstruction, so the benefit of humanizing reconstruction could take priority.

Another memory flashed of my sweet Dad who tended to use first names with everyone. His doctors, friends, executives, and little kids. I had to roll my eyes a bit when he was seated on the rug in a second grade classroom on Grandparent’s Day. Playing a social interaction game of greeting one another, a wide eyed boy tripped over remembering my Dad’s last name.

“Call me Bob,” my Dad smiled.

Only to invoke the teacher’s rapid instruction to use “Mister.” Poor kid was set up. Recognizing when labels are set in place, for better or worse, there is a time to comply and a time to challenge.

I’ve seen Mister Bob do both with great success

I guess I could say I was raised by a “label rebel.”

So many flashes of “ sweet labeling” in my years of life.

The pleasure of calling friends “Mrs” when newly married or “Dad” when entering the magic of parenthood. My newborn baby being (fondly) called “nosy” when she was a few days old. As a new “Mama,” I quickly corrected that label to “curious” since she hadn’t yet begun to speak and fend for herself. Witnessing the hurt of labels with ethnic, gender, and racial slurs that broke my heart. Or disordered parents or teachers identifying children as “bad,” “worthless,” “lazy,” and “stupid.”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

So. Not. True.

I’ve witnessed the horrible outcome of verbal abuse in families, schools, neighborhoods, religious institutions, workplaces, peers groups, and self-talk. Wounding can happen when labels intend harm, respectful labels are missed, or a person’s desire for a label/no label is misunderstood.

Perhaps there isn’t one correct answer about how to use a label well or not so well. Maybe, just maybe, you could be “curious” about any label bandied about.

To understand what it means to the one using it or receiving it. Learning what is helpful and what is harmful. You don’t live in an all or nothing world, although many people are “black and white” thinkers. It’s tricky, but this duality, engrained in culture and language, can be disassembled one label at a time.

It’s a slow, but worthwhile process and it begins with one person, one label at a time.

Coming full circle yesterday, a colleague from grad school asked if I had course descriptions he needed for advanced certification. While I couldn’t help him, I realized something important. My Master’s and Doctorate diplomas, rewritten with my married name, were so very important when I ordered them. Leaving that nonprofit agency to open my private practice, I felt a bit unsteady. I figured those diplomas, and all they represented, would give me some respectability as I started over from scratch. My plan was to hang them on the wall above my desk so they’d “have my back.”

My newly lettered diplomas took 9 months to arrive. By which time, I realized I didn’t need to be called freakin’ doctor anymore.

That label was no longer necessary and those diplomas are collecting dust in my basement. All of this “think, think, thinking” revealed the importance of deeply examining those labels that remain, whether they be rigid, fluid, or fragile. Perhaps some are important, others are loosening, and a few are collecting dust in my basement.

I imagine that I’ll be considering those labels I use for you as well. Giving some the heave ho as no longer necessary. And enjoying the ones that remind me of who you are.

You Beautiful Soul, you.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News


A recent study examined the impact of mindfulness on “Linguistic intergroup bias” (LIB). University students were asked to describe cartoons depicting various scenarios, such as one adult hitting another. The response could be factual (one person hitting another) or make a character inference (they’re violent). Bias was found when cartoons were viewed as friend (factual descriptions) or enemy (inference). Inclusion of mindfulness (observe thoughts as fleeting mental contractions not part of cartoon event) reduced biased responses. Other studies suggest that mindfulness may reduce stereotypical and prejudicial thinking. Why not try it out? Thoughts are like floating clouds, watch them pass.

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She/Her/Me. Who You Be?

I’ve been exploring the fluidity of gender in recent years. 

Trying to wrap my binary trained mind around gender as a moving target with changing terminology and variety in visual appearance of my fellow humans. I identify as a female, heterosexual and use the pronouns she and her. Growing up in the 60s and coming of age in the 70s and 80s, I was comfortable in the world that identified males as males and females as females.

Perhaps I considered gender somewhat within the variations of sexual orientation of my friends and colleagues.

Yet this was still within the binary identification of my male friends with boyfriends, my female colleagues with girlfriends, or those who preferred a bit of both. This was an acceptable part of my life and continues to be without any need to “wrap my mind” about preference in sexual partners, legal or otherwise. 

Reflecting further, I realize I’ve had many a thought, conversation, exploration, and discovery about the nature of the feminine and masculine characteristics within myself and others.

Noticing how the societal or cultural influence on what is deemed feminine or masculine has infiltrated all aspects of our lives. Including how these fluid characteristics have been made rigid within a two choice system of descriptors. 

Gender fluidity is confusing for many, not only those of my generation, especially when you’ve been raised in culture with two choice descriptors embedded in language, belief, expectation, media, and appearance. Including all the restrictions or prohibitions of same sex or gender fluid representation in culture, religion, and societal institutions. I recall my first introduction to people sharing their pronouns. It surprised me and open my eyes and mind to an experience of life that I’d been blind to previously. 

Curious and a bit confused, I sought understanding. I bought some books, watched some videos, and spoke with a lot of people. 

I explored the labels embedded within the the ever expanding LGBTQ2+ descriptor. I learned to honor the pronouns used by those around me even when I was tripping over “they” or forgot to change “she” to “he.” I learned a bit, got better at my gender fluid speak, and realized there was so much I didn’t know. 

Perhaps if you’d been exposed to a language that was trinary (yes/no/maybe) instead of binary (yes/no), like some tribes near Lake Titicaca in Peru and Bolivia, all types of fluidity would be easier. Or lived within the indigenous cultures where some members of the tribe were known as “two spirit” who embodied both masculine and feminine characteristics. 

Yet for me, I’m still undoing a lifetime of conditioning within a binary descriptor system about gender.

There’s a lot going on in our world that’s really hard and really human, and it affects all of us. Not only families who face teens or parents who are shifting gender identity, appearance, sexual orientation, and/or embrace fluidity in many arenas. These changes have people bumping up against their own conditioned upbringing which holds a complex continuum of rigid to fluid beliefs about the nature of how a human should be a human.

Recently attending the theatre in New York City, I read in the Playbill about anti-drag and anti-trans legislations which would ban or severely limit drag shows in Tennessee and being considered in other states.

Lawmakers and commentators identify the real intent beyond such law is regulation of the trans and non-binary populations. 

Not only would theatre productions be severely affected, but actors would be banned, persecuted, or harmed because others (influencing legislators) feel they shouldn’t have the legal right to express their gender fluidity. Or as one actor so poignantly stated, “… because they don’t think I have the right to exist.”

My research has led me down some dark rabbit holes of humans harming humans, so familiar to the history of this country and around the world.

You may not agree with my intent to explore my personal constraints of understanding fluidity in gender, sexual, and human identity within the complexity of modern societal forces. To become more open, accepting, and supportive of people who identify, express, and love differently than I do.

I’m not trying to convince you of anything here. 

That’s your business and your responsibility as to how you define yourself and your world view, and live accordingly.

I’m just wondering how to honor people’s choice to identify themselves in a way that feels true to themselves. Whether it be gay, bi, gender fluid, queer, two spirit, intersex, questioning, or asexual. My wondering extends to accepting people’s right to define for themselves their political party, religious identification, race or class identification, professional occupation, cultural background, sport team affiliation, and any other of the myriad of descriptors used to imperfectly capture the complexity of the human being. 

You catch my drift. But to be clear, this is my exploration. I’m not suggesting any set (rigid) path for your own exploration or even that you jump on that path. 

Of course I have an opinion about that. I think it would be great if everyone held a true desire to understand and look very deeply past the labels, roles, visuals, actions, judgments and lifelong societal/cultural conditioning of all types of “identification.” I think we’d be a more conscious society if we all had the capacity for such introspection, and likely a lot more likely to be kind and not harm those we deem “wrong.”

Yet if I get on my soapbox about that, aren’t I just telling you what my “legislation” is and perhaps even pressuring you to vote for it?

So, where does that leave you, especially if you recognize that you’re part of a human family? 

I hope it leads you to ask yourself some questions. Is every member of society deserving of respect, the freedom to choose, the right to love who they want, and identify as they will? Do you fight those who oppose you with hate, judgement, and a desire to force them to live in your view of the world? Do you stay quiet and let others trample on life, health, and psyches? Do you love, accept, forgive, and seek understanding? Do you educate, volunteer, engage your inner activist, or vote with your voice, money, and presence for change? Do you turn away with a hardened heart against those who confuse, disturb, and frighten your status quo?

You’re part of a human family. Living and breathing together within the ecosystem of the planet. It’s a troubled family living within a troubled ecosystem.

Maybe you begin there. Accepting you live in troubling times with a family who is a bit of a mess. Maybe there is something you don’t yet understand but are willing to explore. (And not just in the realm of gender identification.) Exploring the way to peace within your own thoughts, words, deeds, and relationships.

And then, perhaps, that peace might just flow out a wee bit into this creative, beautiful mess of humanity. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

I have fond memories of the exposure to theatre as a child, teen, and adult. With no desire to be on stage myself, I’ve relished in the genius creativity flowing through all stories on stage. I saw a billboard in Philadelphia announcing  a new play, Mrs. Doubtfire (Tootsie), arriving soon. That got me thinking. If anti-drag legislature passed in every state, would future generations never see this show? Or Peter Pan, Hairspray, and Victor/Victoria? How would this end the University of Pennsylvania’s tradition of the Mask and Wig  productions where all parts are played by me? Or my college favorite, that legendary parody, Rocky Horror Picture Show? Perhaps some food for thought and not such HeartWarming News.

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Great Googamooga

Arriving home at the end of my work day, I usually pull in the garage and sit in silence a bit before walking in the door. 

It’s a lovely ritual I’ve had for years to help me center and return home with peaceful enthusiasm for the night ahead. This evening, however, I heard music blasting as if teenagers were throwing a banger in my house. Curiosity overrode my ritual and I quickly popped in the door to see what was happening. I found my husband pulling dinner out of the oven while the rhythm pulsed through the neighborhood.

I mean that dude was positively rocking out. And the beat was so good that I dropped my bags and started dancing.

While he plated dinner (his evening ritual), I danced in the kitchen with the dog. No need to even say hi, it was clear that my body was busy and I wasn’t gonna spoil that party. My happiness quotient rose rapidly and laughter erupted when the cook occasionally sang back up. The song was unfamiliar but I was too busy sliding and spinning to listen to any words. When it ended, I quickly searched Spotify for the next dance tune so I could keep the party going.

Sometimes, I have a dancing dinner.

My husband sits at the kitchen counter, I dance between bites all over the kitchen, and we catch up on the day. My body thinks this is a good idea after sitting for hours in a comfy chair, and I have to agree. This night, however, the music was too loud to speak and the beat too good to disrupt. By the time the dishes were done (again, his ritual) and salt and pepper put away (my contribution), the playlist ended and I went to play ball with my dog (his ritual).

After all that dancing, Milo was a bit pooped and didn’t seem to remember how to return the ball.

Great Googamooga. He had a Ball of Confusion.

Fast forward to the following night. We drove to the forest where we like to walk and I asked for the name of that Googamooga song.

I realized Milo was trying to clue me in that the song was Ball of Confusion by the Temptations. 

I rarely listen to the Temptations but I liked the beat. So I added it to my Spotify playlist and got jammin’ in the car. So many lyrics had me looking them up and singing along. No easy task as there were a lot of words. What I soon realized that this 1970 Motown song, written by Norman Whitfield for the Temptations, was a searing commentary on the state of the union. Racial tension, unemployment, drug addiction, crooked politicians, gun control, and hippies in the hills. 

“Great Googamooga,” I thought, “has anything changed in this country?”

Back in 1970, Tricky Dick was president, we were embroiled in the Vietnam war, and “great googamooga” was a saying indicating either shock and dismay or unbridled enthusiasm. It certainly wasn’t with unbridled joy that the Temptations sang “Can’t you hear me talking to you? It’s a ball of confusion. That’s what the world is today.”

We got out of the car and walked in silence through the woods, listening to the breeze and feeling the peace.

To be more accurate, I noticed the peace, however was observing the turmoil within my mind and emotions. The words of that song resounded through my inner soundscape as pictures of today’s world swam through my vision. A riot of emotions accompanied that slide show: dismay, anger, sadness, fear, disgust. Witnessing visuals of melting ice caps, systemic racism, inner city violence, drug cartels, hungry families, broken systems, and class inequity, I let all those feelings and images roll out into the woods.

53 years later and that song was still relevant. What the hell was I to do in the face of all this?

The answer was simple, wise, and easy to achieve. First, I had to reestablish my coherence amongst my mind, body, and emotions. If I remained in a dysregulated system, my thinking would be a “ball of confusion” leading me into the wrong kind of action. While an inner calm could open me to creative solutions and wise responses to this (still) messy world.

So I walked in the woods, aware of the breeze and the trees.

I listened to the rustling squirrels and sound of my husband’s sneakers on the path. I sought out the green trees, smell of the soil, and searched the skies for soaring birds. I called the deer and foxes to come out for a visit. They didn’t arrive, but peace settled around me like a cloud from heaven.

As did gratitude for my ability to walk peacefully in the woods and dance freely in my kitchen.

I realized two things as we strolled back to the car. First, there was wisdom in dancing in enjoyment of the beat while the first hearing of that social commentary floated through my (un)awareness and my energy field. Dancing activates the Radiant Circuits which are energy pathways that can support releasing energy and fueling the body with yummy life force energy.

Second, I could be active in my work to improve our world with one of two attitudes.

Shock and dismay or unbridled enthusiasm centered in loving optimism. So, “googamooga” for me is an internal invitation to dance with awareness through my days. So I may spread the rhythm of hope, love, and action which inspires and improves lives. Rather than sink into despair, spew my anger, or fight the fight.

“Make love, not war,” says my inner teenage hippie.

I think I’m gonna listen to her, especially ’cause she had some good dance moves and a pair of really cool purple bell bottoms. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Ceremony and ritual have always been part of indigenous culture, religious traditions, and societal rites of passage. Given their prevalence across the ages, researchers have explored the benefit of participating in ceremony. There is a general consensus that participation positively influences physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health of the individual. Participating in a group ceremony increases a sense of belonging to community as well as something greater. You may be your own researcher and explore the personal impact of participating in ceremony or creating your own meaningful ritual.

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Activate your Healing Gifts with Munay Ki

Healers, you can awaken more light on the planet! Right now.

This is the call from your Soul and a world hungry for light. Prompting you to accelerate your healing and source greater power as you share your gifts (known or to be discovered). This is a cosmic invitation to let your healing light, wisdom speech, and warm heart spill out into the world. Beautifying your own path and calling others to discover theirs.

If you feel the pulsing of this invitation deep within your being, join me as we enter the Sacred, let go of mind and time, and step upon the path of rapid transformation.

The gifts of Andean Energy Medicine empower the transformational path by accelerating your healing and awakening process.

This Feminine Earth tradition partners with the cosmic energy seeded within every human, creature, and aspect of Pachamama (Mother Earth) to clear, activate, grow, and share the blessings of harmony, love, and wise power.

Grounded deeply within the human experience, the Andean cosmovision offers a path of rapid transformation by working with intention, light, fire, and love.

All this light is looking for somewhere to land! As long as you’ve got a body, an intent to heal, and a heart full of dreams, you’ll be the perfect vessel for this cosmic light.

Healing always begins within so the Ignite your Light Body retreat is all about you. 

Feel free to bring every place within you that is uncertain, hurt, frustrated, and battered. You won’t be talking about any of your stuff, but it will all be offered up for healing. Don’t underestimate the power of cosmic energy to work its magic on your behalf. That’s what is thrilling about this medicine. It’s impact crosses space, time, and the cosmic web so you always receive more than you can imagine.

Now you’re left freer to rise up and trust your every step with a sense of completeness and purpose that’s felt in a practical and subtle manner.

Leaving you freer of worry or self absorption so that you may unselfconsciously show up and share what you have discovered about living as a wise healing presence. Beautifully imperfect with a heart that keeps opening to the greater love that wishes to pour forth.

Yes, I am talking to you. And yes, your Soul is speaking to you. Become still, drop in, and listen to that inner voice that echoes … “Awaken more light, please.”

You’ll do this by immersing within the teachings of the Energy Medicine from the Andes in Peru.

Using the Medicine Wheel from this Peruvian tradition, you’ll travel through the cosmovision of the Andes. Highly practical, you’ll discover that all Medicine Wheels are maps for the transformational path of awakening to your true nature. Each Direction introduces archetypal guides who are powerful guardians, teachers, and healers. This tradition encourages and strengthens your direct relationship with the natural world, cosmic forces, and your own inner wisdom.

Whether new to these teachings or immersed within their richness, you’ll discover how to immediately and practically understand and integrate this wisdom into your life and practice at the level you choose.

Your immersion into Andean Energy Medicine and Ceremony is powerfully aligned with Inti Raymi, the Festival of the Sun in Peru.

Celebrating the winter/summer solstice, the energy flowing through the sun, and Inti Titayti, the masculine Sun deity. 

Since the time of the Inka, this is the largest religious celebration. I was recently in Peru at the Sacred site of Sacsayhuaman outside of Cusco meditating on the high altar, anchoring in a connection with this ceremony over the centuries. As we celebrate the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, let’s link in to our extended family celebrating in the South.

Your immersive Ignite your Light Body Retreat will be filled with energy clearing/blessing, ceremony, initiation, introspection, and sharing.

I’ll be live streaming all aspects of your retreat in partnership with the Lineage of Healers and the Archetypes of the Andean tradition.

What’s that mean? I open myself to the love, wisdom, and power of these partners so that they may flow through me to offer you the perfect information, healing, blessing, and initiation. It’s a delight to be in Embodied Presence as a way of serving and you’ll definitely feel the powerful outpouring of love from this cosmic-earthly team. This is a live, highly interactive, and really human way of having a lot of fun as you engage the Sacred all day long. [And no, there is no electronic live streaming. You’ll be experiencing a “higher technology” in this event.]

You’ll receive a traditional Andean Limpia – an energy clearing and blessing of your power centers.

You are an energy body and you, like most humans, are carrying way too much dense energy. You were meant to be light! The Limpia will support the wellbeing of your light body and prepare you for ceremony and initiation. Throughout the day, you’ll be moving energy to “lighten up” your energy body . You can take home the practices that resonant and add them to your current repertoire of high vibrational tools for self and others.

You’ll be offered the Munay Ki initiation known as the Hampe Karpay or Healer’s Rite.

Munay Ki (power of love) initiations introduce seeds of light into your field via a light transmission. This will seed your energy field with light gifted from the Lineage of Healers across many traditions, offering you direct access to their mentorship, support, and love. As partners in the healing process, this seeding opens your heart, hands, and energy to work directly with this Lineage. Your healing service in the world, whether known or to be discovered, will be enhanced by this partnership gifted through the Munay Ki.

You’ll participate in an Ayni Despacho and fire ceremony. 

The Ayni Despacho is a ceremonial offering with the intent for healing, harmony, love, and abundance for all areas of your life, your families and communities, Pachamama, and all beings. This beautiful ceremony will be offered in community so you may add your intent with every item placed within this “present.”  

In order to call forth rapid transformation and blessings, the Despacho will be dispatched to the winds and elements during the communal fire ceremony. The smokeless fire pit offers an opportunity to gather round the fire, weather permitting, to witness Pachamama’s assistance.

You’ll also learn how to do a personal fire ceremony (indoors!) to release your challenges and bless your seeds of light and power.

You’re in good hands with this lineage and I’ll guide you seamlessly through this enriching experiential retreat. All you have to do is show up. Come as you are with an intent to heal whatever needs to be healed and to bless whatever needs to be blessed. Your wisdom, open heart, and curious inner child will play well with the power of the cosmic light that will flow to and through all of us.

I’m pleased to be holding the event on Saturday, June 24th at the beautiful space in Marlton known as Massage by Laura in Marlton, NJ. 

If you haven’t visited this space, you’ll know why I’m pleased once you walk in the door. It’s a perfect location for our all day gathering. You can get more details and register by clicking on the Blue Box below which directs you to my Workshop page. I hope you join me. Your Soul hopes you join me. The world doesn’t know it yet, but they too hope you join me.

Let’s brighten up our Light Bodies and seed the world with light.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Ceremony and ritual have always been part of indigenous culture, religious traditions, and societal rites of passage. Given their prevalence across the ages, researchers have explored the benefit of participating in ceremony. There is a general consensus that participation positively influences physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health of the individual. Participating in a group ceremony increases a sense of belonging to community as well as something greater. You may be your own researcher and explore the personal impact of participating in ceremony or creating your own meaningful ritual.

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Celebrating Service & Dreams Come True

In the United States, we celebrate Memorial Day this weekend. 

Many view Memorial Day only as a long weekend to jump start the summer and enjoy the beach. It definitely carries a vibe of freedom and relief that summer is here. I think that feeling of freedom and relief was seeded when Memorial Day was first established as a day to celebrate all those who served in armed forces. To honor their bravery, commitment, and sacrifice. 

On Memorial Day, we honor those who have served and all that was lost.

Regardless of whether these men or women ever saw battle, all lost something. The very nature of living in a world where we must defend to the death our rights, borders, supremacy, and “stuff” leads to the loss of security, innocence, and a soulful path. The loss of life, limbs, time with family and friends, mental and emotional health, and internal peace represent a fraction of what was taken by war.

All so we could feel free enough to grab our picnic and head to the beach. 

It’s bigger and more complicated than that, of course. But for this weekend, it’s a beautiful thing to honor those who stepped in to serve their country. I honor my grandfather Arthur, father in law Lou, cousins Mike, Deanna and Alexis, friends Rodrigo and JT, and my lawn guru John. Recently visiting Pearl Harbor, I recognize the devastation of loss from war.

So, I dream of a future peace where we all enjoy the freedom of a day at the beach together.

So much more to celebrate as dreams come true, bellies are full, and my bee hotel opens for business.

There’s a lot of happy news to report so here are a few tidbits to cheer you up!

Our recent Soul Sanctuary food drive was well received in Burlington City.

The idea of a “quickie” Soul Sanctuary food expanded a bit when I received $1200 as your personal food drive shopper. It took four trips and a bunch of helpers to gather and organize all that food. Plus the bags dropped off at Soul Sanctuary. It took two SUVs to transport all those goodies so that’s reason to celebrate!

As my husband and I pulled up to SisterHood, PhilAbundance arrived to unload two pallets of fresh fruit and veggies.

In less than 30 minutes, the previously empty SisterHood food pantry was stocked. Full bellies are in the future for many grateful families. Here’s just one more thing I learned. When I phoned SisterHood on Monday, I was told the pantry was really low on food. When we arrived 8 days later, the dry and canned food section was empty. Empty. That hit me, so I’ll be more conscious of the need for good food to be sent to my neighbors and get to it. Wherever you live, there are hungry families and food pantries to serve them. 

Love Orphanage is doing the happy dance in Haiti!!

Our beloved Ylionor, the oldest of the 19 Love O kids, has begun his secondary education. Whoo hoo! He is the first to step into the dream of the Be a Difference Maker Program (created by my kid) to graduate high school AND receive secondary training. We celebrated his graduation last June with a coffee house fundraiser to build the vocational school educational fund. 

Ylionor has entered the Wonderful Institute to study information technology. Wonderful indeed.

For all of you “wonderful” people who have supported the Be a Difference Maker program for the Love O kids in Haiti over the past 10 years, THANK YOU! This is the opportunity that your dreaming hearts and generous pockets created. And there are more kids studying to become the future Difference Makers of Haiti. Feel free to learn more or donate directly to the Be a Difference Maker fund on the Love O webpage. [I have no access to information about donations which are handled by the nonprofit We the Village.]

Closer to home, I’ve completed the Pachamama garden at my home. Pollinators welcome!

When I was in Peru, meditating on top of a mountain after our sacred ceremony where I received the Munay Ki Earth Keeper initiation, I received a vision from Pachamama (Mother Earth). I saw my home with its manicured garden overflowing with colorful blossoms. “Create my altar and welcome my children,” whispered Pachamama. 

I don’t garden, hate digging in the dirt, and don’t know much about plants. So, I said “Yes, I will.”

I do know how to get expert advice, shop for flowers, schedule my lawn guru, and create beauty. So, I got busy. I wandered around the nursery until I’d spy something that had me gasp in delight (happened often). I read the tags, envisioned the empty spaces, made 3 trips, and laid everything where it wanted to be planted. My guys did the rest. The gardeners planted and my husband watered. 

Leaving me free to wander, drink in beauty, and invite the pollinators to visit.

The bee hotel is going up in the tree this weekend. A gift from a family friend who made it from wood taken from a massive tree which fell on my childhood home a while back. While the home is no longer ours and the tree long gone, it’s nice to know another community will gather around it. The bees have arrived and I’m waiting for the butterflies and hummingbirds. Oh, and there’s Simon.

I met Simon when he popped out from under my lilies to say hello. I was delighted to discover a lizard living in Pachamama’s garden.

Somehow I knew his name and that he came to greet me. As is my habit with animals, I introduced myself. “Hi, Simon, I’m Kathy Milano. I live here.” And then I paused ’cause that hit me as funny. We humans always think we rule the roost. “I guess you live here, too. Glad to share the space with you.” Simon came out later in the evening to meet my husband. I think he’s steering clear of Milo. 

One sweet, exciting bit of Soul Sanctuary news. I’m offering the Ignite your Light Body Retreat on Saturday, June 24th in Marlton, NJ.

It’s a day filled with energy healing, ceremony, and initiation in the Andean tradition. For anyone interested in accelerating personal healing and boosting your healing service to others (in any capacity). Get lots more details by clicking HERE.

I hope you find your good news and share it with others. Have fun this weekend however you celebrate the freedoms you live.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

4ocean is a conscious company committed to the wellbeing of the planet, marine life and ecosystems, and local communities. They serve 12 locations including Indonesia, Guatemala, Florida (Osbourne Reef), and Hawaii. They’ve recovered 28, 778, 685 pounds of trash so far. The average person uses 9 pounds of single use plastic a month. You can both reduce your plastic usage and pay 4ocean to “pull pounds” or order a 4ocean recycled bracelet to remind you of your commitment. Learn more at 4ocean.com.

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The Siren Song. Cleaning the Oceans.

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Mangalam Shri Maha Pani Svaha

This Sanskrit chant to invoke Tara sounds like a mouthful, but it’s well worth exploring and soon becomes second nature to sing.

Tara is the most beloved female deity in Tibetan Buddhism. She may be described simply as an accessible mother. A feminine Buddha who personifies compassion and wisdom, freely offering Her embrace and these qualities to all who seek Her.

An unconditionally loving Mother deity, Tara has many faces. 

She may appear as a strong protector, sweet nurturer, fierce motivator, and benevolent healing presence.

If your curiosity is tickled, you may dive into the 21 Taras. Yup, 21 Taras, each presenting uniquely in name, form, mantra, attribute, and practice.



You don’t have to practice Buddhism or be a yogini to seek the compassionate wisdom of Tara. 



As with every archetypal energy known as a deity or guide, you may simply call upon this compassionate, wise Mother “Tara” to establish your own personal relationship.

I’m a bit partial to the 12th Tara recently for two practical reasons.



First, I find myself soothed and transported to a space of loving presence by chanting Om Tara Tuttare along with Deva Premal and India Arie.

The blending of the devotion, open hearts, and beautiful voices of these women invoke Tara’s gift of bringing harmony to the planet.



This is a sacred mantra sung with the intent of climate balancing since one of Tara’s “jobs” is to regulate the seasons and prevent natural disasters.



Here’s the second (very cool) thing. With every streaming of this Om Tara (climate balancing) chant on whatever music platform you use, a donation is made to 4ocean. This organization was founded by 2 surfers who were dismayed by the amount of plastic in the ocean in Bali. As the ocean deposited humanity’s plastic trash on the not so pristine Bali beaches, a movement was born.



4ocean hires fisherman around the world to“fish” plastic out of the ocean. 



As beaches and waterways are cleaned, local crews are employed full time with fair wages, health insurance, incentives, and community education.

All funded with partnerships, donations, and recycled plastic products and 4ocean signature bracelets for sale.




I’m singing the plastic out of the ocean thanks to Deva, India, and Spotify.


As I write, I’m chanting this beautiful mantra.

Spotify is playing it on repeat. As I begin again (and again), I envision committed people removing pounds of plastic that never should’ve been dumped, dropped, or blown into the ocean in the first place. 



I envision turtles, jellyfish, krill, and whales swimming freely through plastic free oceans. Eating their natural diet instead of synthetic trash.



While I’m invoking this compassionate Mother Tara, the waters in my body are harmonized. My imaginative dreaming conspires with my heart to call forth a future Earth that is healthy for all creatures, turtles and humans alike. 



I’m a bit tickled by the sweet synchronicity of this chance to stream and donate. 



Here’s why. Last year, my family chose to plant trees for everyone’s birthdays and celebrations. We planted over 1500 baby trees in Haiti, Peru, and the Amazon. All doing their part to restore balance to our ecosystem. This year, we’re celebrating by pulling pounds of plastic out of the ocean with our donations to 4ocean. (Spoiler alert, birthday peeps.) You can learn more in the HeartWarming News below.



In the meantime, I’m chanting harmony within my body and whatever environment I’m inhabiting in the moment.

Remembering the wise adage: to change the outer world, you must first change your inner world.

As I sing, I trust that compassionate Tara-like ripples are traveling wherever they are needed. 



As I use less plastic and pick up trash blowing through parking lots and hiking trails, I think “Om Tara” and feel gratitude for those 4 Ocean angels who are doing the same in oceans, rivers, and beaches around the world.



If you want to join me for some live Om Tara chanting next Thursday, May 18th, come to Soul Sanctuary to chant within the Light Cathedrals (click Blue Box for details). 


Anywhere you live, remember that you don’t have to be a yogi or even chant to stream this beautiful music that funds ocean clean up. This chant also creates beautiful background music to harmonize your inner environment, office, and home. Search for Tara Mangalartha Mantra (Climate Balancing) by Deva Premal and India Arie. Hit repeat and float within harmony.



In fact, you don’t have to chant with Tara, pick up trash, or donate to 4ocean to bring harmony to our shared planet. 



You be you. However you settle into peace, ripple goodness, or contribute to a sustainable planet is wonderful. The only challenge I’ll offer is to up your game. That’s my intent and I’d love to know we’re making an even bigger difference together this year. 



While we’re celebrating Great Mothers like Pachamama and Tara, I’ll wish all of you a Happy Mother’s Day.

Whether you’re responsible for raising a child or engaged in the very human task of nurturing one another, I hope you celebrate yourself. 



Mothering matters. 



I hope you become a really great mother to yourself so you can get busy nurturing, respecting, and empowering others to be uniquely and perfectly great in their own way.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

4ocean is a conscious company committed to the wellbeing of the planet, marine life and ecosystems, and local communities. They serve 12 locations including Indonesia, Guatemala, Florida (Osbourne Reef), and Hawaii. They’ve recovered 28, 778, 685 pounds of trash so far. The average person uses 9 pounds of single use plastic a month. You can both reduce your plastic usage and pay 4ocean to “pull pounds” or order a 4ocean recycled bracelet to remind you of your commitment. Learn more at 4ocean.com.

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The Trouble with Ruminating

Have you got a mind that likes to mull over things? 

You know that mind. It likes to chew on the problem and replay conversations. It activates the critical voice so you may think on all the ways you, them, or the situation isn’t so great. It goes on and on and on. Ad nauseam. 

This rumination launches you into a state of mind that’s really unhelpful.

Now you’re feeling crappy about yourself or less than enthusiastic about the situation you face. You slide easily down that slippery slope and judge others, feel frustrated, or drop into a more hopeless view of the future. It’s rare that your rumination leads you into a state of open curiosity or exhilarating joy as you face a challenging situation. More likely you’ll be drawing into that half glass empty mindset.

Rumination invites you to become more like Piglet or Eeyore than Tigger or Christopher Robin.

If you’re not a Winnie the Pooh aficionado, I’ll translate for you. The constant worrying of the mind leads you into anxiety or depression more than enthusiasm or calm wisdom. Think on that for a brief moment. Which approach to the complexity of living would you rather choose? [And if you missed the archetypal wisdom and deep solutions to living that Winnie the Pooh offers, you might want to dive back in with a curious mind.]

So your mind ruminates. And wanders into troubling places. Blinding you to higher solutions.

You’re not alone. It’s a human condition. Quite persistent and tricky. That’s why you may miss it, this ruminating trickster you call “thinking.” It seems the thing to do as you mull things over, vent to your friends, and analyze until you’re blue in the face (and in your mood).

So what’s a human ruminator to do to get out of this mess?

"Weed faster"

I love the analogy of the mind as a garden.

I’m a great mind gardener – weeding out the unhelpful junk and nourishing the seeds of beauty. I’m not so good at hands in the dirt gardening, although I’m happy to choose the plants. So someone with more talent and a love of gardening can plant them for me. 

Imagine your mind as a gateway into the creative soil of life.

That “stuff” back behind form which emerges into the material world as you think it and act it into being. You are gifted with fertile soil, rich with nutrients, and free of obstructions. So beautiful thoughts, words, deeds, and creations may be seeded and nurtured into blossoms. Lovely creations spilling out into the world as a delightful garden runs amok. Bringing forth a Tigger kind of joy and the Christoper Robin type of appreciation.

Take a look at your life. Are you living within such a beautiful garden?

Of course that’s a trick question. Deeply embedded within this mundane world is a beauty beyond imagining if you have eyes to see and a heart to guide your way. Yet, most humans are lost within the less than conscious habit of ruminating upon their current life. That’s not a criticism or reason for despair. Just a simple statement of what often happens within you. And me. And everyone.

Most mind gardens are filled with boulders, rocks, pebbles, and weeds galore.

It’s a daunting process to clear that soil even for the more advanced mental gardener. Yet, you can begin with a simple practice.

Notice the weed and pull it. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. 

Catching yourself mid-rumination is a strong invitation to stop, pull the weed, and seek out a blossom. When faced with a challenging situation, notice your personal thought about it. And watch for a bit. 

Most likely, your mind offers a lot of sentences strung together. One weed after another. Who thought weeds could be so captivating? Addictive even. Watch and listen to your thoughts, your voicing these thoughts, and listening to other’s thoughts spoken aloud.

Seems the human family is addicted to weeds.

Awareness leads to Choice leads to Change.

That’s a wise teaching I got from Christopher Robin in the form of my Dad. He taught this to the CEOs he guided and to me as a young college student. I never forgot it. 

Once you’ve witnessed enough of the mind’s rumination, you’re ready to make a choice. What kind of garden am I cultivating?

As soon as you notice that “weed” of a thought, pull it. And refocus on a “blossom.” Any blossom you choose.

It’s a simple practice that’s harder than it sounds. And well worth the effort to plant a beautiful garden for yourself and others. Remember that practice leads to mastery which leaves you with clarity, wisdom, and enthusiasm for the benefits of weeding. 

You may even toss out a few pebbles while you’re at it. 

Sometimes the boulders and deeply rooted weeds (generational and karmic trauma) require a bit more work. Especially the energetic interventions since these patterns are often embedded deeply within your field and unconscious. There are lots of techniques to help you clear your soil. I know a bunch and am happy to help you if that serves.

A lovely woman recently asked me what to do with the negative thoughts running through her mind. I guess you can imagine my response. 

“Weed faster.”

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Want to enhance your weeding practice?  Spend some moments HeartBreathing and centering within your cohesive heartspace. [Check out my free Self Soothe Strategy if this is a new concept for you. It’s on my home page.] When you’ve settled into a calm state, it’s easier to be a witness to the thoughts roaming through your mind garden. You can just watch them and label them a weed or blossom. Play with it a bit. Imagine pulling the weeds and smelling the blossoms. Offer a bouquet of beautiful blossoms to someone close to you. Watch your weed pile grown. It’s a simple imaginative process that enhances your practice. AND it counts as “weeding time.” The mind is a powerful garden. Treat it as such.

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Remember This: You’re Already Perfect

You’ve grown up human, so I guess your mind is littered with ideas that aren’t so helpful.

You know the kind of trash talk you offer yourself (or believe when others offer it to you). How you’re not good enough or there is something inherently wrong with you. Or you how can’t figure your way out of the current (repeated) struggle in life. All those ways you feel like a fraud or must hide your shameful imperfections from the world.

Including that great big failure zone that stretches backward and projects forward in time. And all the ways you haven’t achieved your dreams, disappointed yourself and others, or sabotaged your happiness and success.

What if that wasn’t the real story?

Sure, it’s the story you, like most people, tell themselves. And share with others if those others are trustworthy enough to hear about your private pain. The story of your imperfections, failures, and disappointments. I know these stories. I view them in my mind, hear them in my friends and clients, and witness them in society’s stories (fictional and real). 

It’s a shared human story. While the details may vary, the themes remain the same. 

Innocently, you’ve damned yourself for being human. 

Ouch. Carrying that heavy story around gets tiring. 

And it slows you down, making you less vibrant, intelligent, and joyful. It’s a little crazy really that we’re all letting the existence of human frailty, which everyone experiences, turn into a story of personal imperfection. 

Especially ’cause it’s bullshit.

Give me 6 minutes and I'll help you remember how amazingly beautiful you already are.

I was sitting in a big comfy chair in Barnes and Noble minding my business when a series of questions arrived in my head with the instruction, “Write these down.”

I had extensive training as a good little student, so I wrote them down. Looked at them, shrugged, and put them away in my briefcase. I wasn’t even that curious – maybe because I was at a good part in my book. 

Weeks later, now settled in the cafe at Barnes and Noble, that same voice in my head said, “Get out the questions.”

So I did. Reading them again, I got curious. That must’ve been the “key” as words began spilling through my mind. I wrote as fast as I could until everything stopped. As I read through everything, I heard the third instruction, “Record this.” So I did. 

Already Perfect is a reminder that you don’t have to buy into the inaccurate depiction of yourself as less than. 

The audio recording (available for download on the Already Perfect CD) helps you reset your perspective. The video version reminds you that you aren’t alone in the flawed idea that vulnerability equals imperfection. In 6 minutes, you elevate your understanding of what “perfection” means here. Hint: “it’s not the cultural idea of perfection you now hold for yourself.” 

Take 6 minutes and watch this video. Maybe watch it again so it sinks in.

If you know anyone else who suffers from the confusion that human frailty is something to transform into that cultural idea of perfection, share the video with them. 

Mystics and children (who are well treated) already know this truth. You, my friend, at the core of your beautiful, personal being are Already Perfect. 

When you know this to be true, it is true. And if it’s true for you, then it’s true for them. And so on. And so on.

When you celebrate the perfection of your essence, even as you travel the messy, imperfect path of growing up human, you help everyone remember.

Watch the video here.

I hope you see your own beauty here. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are you a conscious shopper? With so much information available on the web these days, it becomes easier to research your products before you purchase. While some companies report how much they give back to local communities or donate (often a requirement of doing business in a certain location), many businesses take it a step further. Innovative technology, sustainable materials, reducing harmful emissions, caring well for workers, repurposed materials. It makes good sense for the planet and also good cents for the company. There are plenty of ways to win. It takes time to become an educated consumer and investor. Explore one thing at a time and make a change for good. Your good. Pachamama’s good. Our shared future kinda good.