Category: Blog-Soulful Living

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Snowy Lessons

A blanket of snow covers my town, adding a loveliness to the day.

And a stillness that invites me to sit and look out the window. To gaze upon the brilliant white lawn scattered with prints of the deer enjoying their leisurely morning commute. Stopping to snack on my bush, as if I planted the garden for their pleasure.

The trees shake with the wind, breaking free from the snow.

I see how this dance not only protects the trees, but prepares for the wrapped lights to brighten the night when it arrives. My ears perk at the sound of the birds, pulling my eyes to the feeder.

There is a calmness to the hustle and bustle with a steady stream of feathered visitors.

As if an invisible air traffic controller guides the pattern. Alighting on the tree top and moving down the branches until the way is clear. There’s room for 5 birds at a time in this system. Rotating tiny flying machines, some wrapped in red, eat their fill and lift off to destinations unknown. Even the ground crew is busy at work. Sometimes a chipmunk, other times my dog.

Taking turns and wasting nothing.

The stillness awakens a lightness of being as my breath settles me within my body. It’s a pleasure to sit still and look. This mostly quiet world tells me stories of partnership and beauty. Cooperation and kindness. Survival and creativity.

An entire library in my backyard.

A breeze gusts the snow in a swirling pattern. Upward and outward. Light as a snowflake. Heavy as a blanketed lawn. Gazing at this natural landscape, feeling the warmth and beauty within my home, I reflect on this pandemic holiday season. The sweetness and grief. The gain and the loss. The lightness and the heaviness. The disappointment and the celebration.

I’m left with a sense of deep appreciation for these snowy lessons.

To witness the intimate, interdependent nature of life. To recognize the benefit of the art of giving and receiving. Far beyond a wrapped present from a store, it is the sharing of love that makes a holiday. And a life.

Love dances through my backyard amidst the blowing, flying, and shaking.

Without a focus upon the giver and the receiver, it becomes one magnificent movement. There’s no telling where Love begins and where Love ends. Perhaps that’s the greatest lesson of all. No beginning. No ending.

Just Love swirling about. Creating all things bright and beautiful.

May your holiday, however it is celebrated, be a blessing to your life. And may you realize in your moments of stillness how deeply you are enveloped in this movement of life.

Giving and receiving. Dancing within the complexity of it all.

Thank you for your generous gifts throughout the year. Your presence in Soul Sanctuary and online. Your gifts and donations for Love Orphanage and SisterHood. The privilege of sharing space with you in person and virtually.

It’s a wonderful thing, this Life, and I’m grateful to be sharing it with you.

2021 is almost upon us. I hope you’ll join me for the virtual Sacred Intent Retreat on Saturday, January 9th. Let’s discover your Soul’s intent for this New Year. I’m looking forward to the magic we’ll create together. Please sign up soon as we’re limiting our retreat space to 20 women.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Food banks offer dignity and support with home delivery. Since the pandemic began, utilization of Feeding Children Everywhere’s services has soared, from 40,000 households in 2019 to 61,000 this year. Many people have felt too self conscious to head to the food bank. But with jobs lost and families hurting, innovation makes getting food and honoring families possible. Imagine the power of a service similar to Instacart or Amazon delivery harnessed by a nonprofit food bank. Kudos to Feeding Children Everywhere. Let’s not forget our neighbors in our communities. However you help out, do consider the benefit of giving … and receiving. 

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Seeking Beauty amidst Holiday Upheaval

Holiday music seems strange this year.

As if the holly jolly bustle is a distant memory. In the absence of large family gatherings, shopping sprees, and holiday parties, the world is quieter. Perhaps this is why it took me by surprise when I heard the holiday music in the hair salon. Christmas was coming.

I heard this musical invitation to meaningfully prepare for this holiday.

The world is different so it makes sense that this holiday will be different. I’m using this awareness as a springboard into meaningful action. Preparing for the dark, colder winter, I’m interested in creating light, warmth, and comfort in my home. To bring cheer into my environment in a way that looks and feels beautiful.

Decorating my home for the holidays became an act of love rather than a routine change in decor.

The outdoor lights were different this year as new tiny bushes replaced the old. Inviting a discussion about how to create beauty and pleasure outdoors. To bring light to the night in a conscious way. And celebrate the loveliness of a simpler presentation.

Our family gift giving shifted this year to a pollyanna as the “kids” had grown up.

Another change. Reflecting the transformations our world is going through. Thanksgiving heralded the tiny family gatherings, connected briefly by ZOOM. I noticed the light, warmth, and enjoyment represented by each square on my computer.

I sensed plans for Christmas following the same path.

Sprinkled with the appreciation of togetherness while we are separate. The comfort of sharing time, love, and pleasure with those in the room. Even when alone. Zooming cheer to those further away.

I sought the beauty beneath the expected commercial promotion of the Christmas holiday.

I saw how decorations, parties, and gifts honored the connections between friends and family. Offering lovely traditions and meaningful time spent together. Increasing the warmth within and between us. With the simplification of holiday activity, the presence of love and gratitude emerges powerfully through conscious sharing and caring.

The natural brilliance emerging from heartfelt connection outshines the artificial lights of the season.

Inviting us to go deeper within to commune with the Light that is alive in our hearts. Breathing with the energy of Love and the consciousness of the Christed One which flows to, through, and from us. This Light which honors and welcomes all traditions with all of their trimmings.

Beauty, warmth, comfort await us when dropping into the embrace of this Light.

Reminding us to view the twinkling lights, cheery music, and rituals of gathering and giving as an outward expression of this love. To welcome the quiet simplicity of my moments and intentionally refrain from the busyness of past holidays.

In the midst of all this upheaval, kids still expect Santa to come.

That’s why I’m collecting toys for the SisterHood families this year. This is the 20th year that friends, families, and communities have gathered with me to provide holiday gifts.

20 years. That’s a wonder in and of itself. The parents served by SisterHood in Burlington City are the working poor or the grandparents raising grandchildren on a fixed income.

I don’t know what it’s like to live with such scarcity. Another reason to be grateful.

I do know what Reverend Hilda, founder of SisterHood, and her volunteers report to me about the positive impact of the gifts we deliver. The feedback is mostly about the parents’ relief and gratitude.

Tremendous relief and tremendous gratitude.

It’s full of stories of how they feel cared for by a community of people they’ve never met who offer their children quality gifts. Not cheap dollar store trinkets, but toys that last. Toys like peers at school receive. Peers who aren’t living on the edge.

Anonymous giving offers the parents the choice to both play Santa and to give a gift to their child.

Choice offers respect for these neighbors who are making their way in the world. I don’t know the 250 kids who are served by our community’s giving. I trust their parents and grandparents know just what to do with our donations.

I love the idea of gifting respect, relief, and choice to the parents of SisterHood.

This year, I’ve learned from Reverend Hilda that many organizations are not gifting due to COVID. We’ve always been the largest donor to SisterHood’s holiday gift drive. Perhaps this year is more vital than the past 19 years.

Everything is rearranged this year, so it makes sense to do things different.

There are two ways to donate.  You may drop off gifts to Soul Sanctuary or donate money and I’ll shop for you.

Sidewalk drop off dates:   Monday, December 14th & Wednesday, December 16th.  11am – 7pm.  Drop off new toys and gifts for ages 1 – 15. 

Soul Sanctuary is closed these days, but I’ll be in there during those hours on video sessions. I’ll secure your gifts throughout the day.

Monetary donations: If you want me to shop, please gift all donations by Friday December 18th.  Reach out to me if you need details.

We are delivering to SisterHood on Sunday, December 20th, so Friday 12/18 is an absolute deadline.

I deeply appreciate your support and thank you on behalf of SisterHood staff, volunteers, and parents.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Urban forests are in danger. Losing an average of 36 million trees per year. A pilot program from the US Forest Service and Vermont’s spatial analysis lab created a sophisticated land cover mapping system overlaying tree data with city data. In Baltimore, temperature, crime, and use of heat or air conditioning reduced when the tree canopy increased! Monitoring the health of existing trees as a city investment and new plantings may help cities can recover urban forests, decrease energy use, and save millions of dollars.

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Quiet Gratitude

Thanksgiving is here.  So is the gift of choice. How you celebrate, where, and with whom. 

In this time, with this virus, the choices are different. And the impact on your way of living and relating is great. I’m witnessing the loss, disappointment, loneliness, and fear that is present.

And the courage, resilience, and strength in the human capacity for adaptability. 

As I listen to the world, I hear your conversations that focus upon what was lost and speculation of when it will be returned. I listen to my own thoughts that echo that approach.

It seems that the benchmark for living, even in the midst of upheaval, remains the way of the past.

This framework of your life is familiar and, like most of us, you depend greatly upon familiarity. It is built into your survival system and allows you to move through your day in a habitual manner. This is an effective and efficient way of expending your mental, emotional, and physical energy.

Yet, life is inviting a different response by necessity.

It is a chance to reevaluate what is meaningful and how we connect with one another. I hope you don’t miss this invitation by trying to figure out how to celebrate Thanksgiving like you did before … with COVID adaptations.

I hope you see the new possibility. Even with all the disappointment and discomfort of this newness. 

 

Every moment, when lived with awareness, offers a choice of how to engage this life. To explore how to enter the intimacy of living within your body, relating to those around you, and choosing how you approach your moments. And your holiday. 

I hope you can settle in and enjoy moving more slowly. 

To reflect upon the goodness of your life and the simple pleasures of living. In the slower, quieter movement throughout the day, there is a natural invitation for reflection.  It’s larger than sharing your gratitude before a turkey dinner. Although that is quite lovely. You have the opportunity to sit within the invitation of gratitude to see, feel, and experience its presence in your daily life.

Life is mostly quiet now. Granting opportunities for silence and slow movement.

I feel a deep, abiding gratitude for these quiet moments. For this disruption to all things normal so that I can see and feel what is here within me, around me, and between me and the world. I’m aware of how much I’ve missed in the scheduled movements of my life. How busy I’ve been attending to my life and how much living I’ve overlooked.

As the stillness beckons, I am pulled away from the need to attend to the noise of the world.

What emerges is the richness of simple actions. Like walking my dog as the sun sets lower in the sky. Feeling the wild wind whipping my hair. Hearing the leaves crunch beneath my feet. Surrounded by the dark, tangled wood with just a hint of the outline of a doe and her child. I stop to connect and chat a bit. Mother to mother.

The night is quiet. The trees are dancing.

Darkness is not yet broken by the light of the moon, yet graced occasionally by sweeping headlights. What a gift to walk out of my door into this tame wilderness. 

Entering the warmth and light of my home, I feel complete. Blessed. Grateful. 

I wish you deep stillness during this holiday weekend. I hope you feel the connection with yourself and the wonder of your life. May you you seek meaningful connection. With your memories, your socially distanced guests, your ZOOM or phone conversations.

I hope you consider who may be in need of connection and reach for them with love.

I hope you feel the gratitude for the ease in which you live, even in the midst of great difficulty. And for everyone who has contributed to your wellbeing in those tiny and huge ways.

May the essence of Gratitude be your companion not only on Thanksgiving, but in every moment of your life. 

Thank you for every way you contribute to this wonder of a life. So that I may benefit from your presence. So we all can. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

German researchers explored the question “What are your personal strategies for happiness?”  Two primary strategies, personal and social, emerged. They found that people who set personal goals, like getting a better job or staying healthy, didn’t budge on the happiness meter. Whereas those with social strategies like spending time with family and friends or volunteering not only followed through, they reported increases in happiness. Social connection is consistently identified as an important factor in well being. Social connection doesn’t have to be in person, but it does involve people! Reach out and let others reach in. 

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The Generous Friendship of Trees

I turned off the car, took one conscious breath, and sat a moment.

Finding a space of peace within as I let my busy mind and active body settle from my morning.  Silently, I breathed away those thoughts which competed for my scattered attention.  Encouraged by my newfound peace, my eyes focused on what stood before me. 

A beautiful tree of red situated next to a smaller tree of yellow. 

Such beauty in these Fall colors! They had not been present last time I parked my car before them.  Or had they?  I didn’t know.  So often racing from one space to another.  I didn’t notice them yesterday, but these delightful colors were definitely present today. 

I breathed in appreciation of the artistry dancing in the breeze before me. 

My eyes slowly wandered to the left and took a moment to process the mix of colors around me.  A beautiful holly tree with glistening green leaves.  So vibrantly alive.  These sturdy green leaves reflected the light as if diamonds had taken a pause in flight to wink at me.

I couldn’t help but noticing how generously the natural world shared beauty, diversity, and support.

Woven into the green holly leaves were splashes of red. The branches of the neighboring tree had come to visit, rest, and share in the beautification of this tiny patch of nature.  I wondered if the red leaves understood the holly’s desire to adorn herself. Or if it was a beautiful friendship where the holly enjoyed both the brilliant red leaves and the stark naked branches of her neighbor.

I don’t know how long I sat there. Creatively exploring the intent and friendship of the trees before me.

 

Smiling, I realized that this decorative gift of red was to be repaid in time.  Day after day the red leaves would flutter in the breeze, leaving branches of brown unadorned.  No longer offering a gift of color to the holly, roles would reverse as the receiver became the giver. 

Throughout the winter, the vibrant holly tree would cradle the naked branches and adorn them with leaves of green and diamond lights. 

I figured then that the sun and breeze conspired to dance this model of reciprocal giving.  So its graceful movement and reflecting light might catch the fancy of a distracted driver who parked before it. 

Inviting her to take a breath, enjoy a moment of stillness, and feel a deep sense of peace.

Such a generous lesson before me. One that had been missed over many, many years of parking in that spot. Funny thing.  In the days that followed, I found generous weavings of red, orange, brown, and green everywhere I went.  When I was distracted by mindless, unimportant thoughts, dancing forests, alive with color, reminded me to  breathe deeply. To open my eyes to the gifts of beauty, generosity, and magical light existing everywhere.

Reminding me to share my beautiful light with others.

To dance in harmony with others across all seasons. With all manner of support. Sometimes giving. Sometimes receiving. Always grateful for this generous exchange.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Urban forests are in danger. Losing an average of 36 million trees per year. A pilot program from the US Forest Service and Vermont’s spatial analysis lab created a sophisticated land cover mapping system overlaying tree data with city data. In Baltimore, temperature, crime, and use of heat or air conditioning reduced when the tree canopy increased! Monitoring the health of existing trees as a city investment and new plantings may help cities can recover urban forests, decrease energy use, and save millions of dollars.

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Keep Going On

Today, I wanted to send you encouragement. And love.

I didn’t need to add more advice or opinion to your inbox. There is plenty of helpful guidance out there for managing election stress. And I believe you are wise at your core and know how to care for yourself.

Turn down the outer noise. Tune into your inner wisdom. Okay, that’s done.

I wanted to send you my prayer today. The prayer I sat within all day yesterday. I wondered how to turn that peace into words. How to hold the steady focus on the deepest love while acknowledging the confusion, anxiety, grief, anger, and loss.

I wanted to sing you a song of encouragement. And love.

 

To recognize the shit show we’re living in. And acknowledge how very hard it is. How very brave you are. And how creatively you are managing this time. And how I am with you in it. Deep within it all.

I couldn’t quite find the words. Strange, I know. But, it was so quiet within.

And then words came to me through a source so perfect, so beautiful, so creative, and so joyful, that I had to share this song with you.

It’s not my song. It’s the Bengsons that will guide you forward with their Keep Going Song.

How did they know my prayer for you? How did they sing the thoughts that had not yet surfaced to my lips? I am enamored with their talent. And their hearts.

I hope you listen and feel the encouragement.

And the love with a sprinkle of delight and wonder.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

The power of a heartfelt visual message does wonders. Especially during isolation and the separation from the human need to gather with one another. Seeing a smiling face lights up the mirror neurons in your brain. Encouraging the feel good chemicals to jazz up your system. Hearing a friend’s voice or a family member’s concern warms your heart and brings you back into connection.  Human connection is essential for wellbeing. While hugging and hanging out in person isn’t viable, video is a great way to connect when you share your voice, smile, and expression of love.

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Love Dreamed Today

Love dreamed today
A beautiful dream

Witnessing the perfection of a sunflower 
Towering beauty of yellow and green
Seeking the light at every turn
Swaying, dancing, spreading joy

Love dreamed today
A beautiful dream

Witnessing a perfect cumulus cloud
Morphing into a crystalline drop of water
Nourishing a newborn bird
Whose future songs soothe weary hearts

Love dreamed today
A beautiful dream

Witnessing a synchronistic act of kindness
An inspired idea birthed into form
Received freely in Love
A life changed forever, gratefully

Love dreamed today
A particularly beautiful dream

Astounding in its complexity
Magnificent in its simplicity
Radiant in its reach
Altering the course of humanity

Love dreamed It’s highest dream today

Love dreamed you

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Rap as poetry? What’s the deal? Lyrical poetry, expressing personal and emotional feelings, doesn’t have to rhyme and may be set to a musical beat. Harvard professor Gates, Jr, in the forward to “The Anthology of Rap,” writes “either rap describes commercialized music and hip hop the sounds of the underground; or rap suggests a gritty style (as in gangsta rap) and hip hop a more politically and socially conscious approach (as in backpack hip hop).” Poetry. Lyrical. Musical. Expression. The Broadway show, Hamilton, revealed the power of lyrical prose to excite a nation. Writing poetry can also excite your creative brain centers. Your turn. “Give us a verse. Drop some knowledge.”

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Wanted: Parking Spaces and Miracles

Here’s an Angel tale which has a high likelihood of being true. (wink)

Lucia was feeling especially sad one cold, overcast day as she walked down the street to work. It was more than the winter blues that had her feeling overwhelmed when, once again, she couldn’t find a parking place anywhere near her office. Tightening her coat around her, Lucia reflected on the difficulty of making it on her own in the world.

Lucia was beaten down from having too much to do and too little time, help, and money.

She felt too busy with the demands of her job and life in general.  So much time and energy was being put into work that she hardly took time to nurture herself.  So many obligations were interfering with having fun with her family and friends.“I need some help!” she thought. 

Trudging down the street, Lucia began daydreaming about the Want Ad she would like to place.

WANTED: round-the clock assistance to provide guidance, miracles & parking spaces.  Immediate opening requires unlimited availability, outrageously positive outlook, joyful sense of humor, excellent communication skills  and boundless energy.   Must always respond, provide expert direction, and bring love to every interaction. Salary: my gratitude.  Benefits: the intrinsic pleasure from serving others.

The moment Lucia ended her daydream, she was astounded to see multitudes of Angels all around her.

Stopping abruptly, she noticed beautiful beings of light engaged in acts of service to the people all around her.  She twirled in circles marveling at the little to big ways the Angels were helping the humans. “How can this be?” she wondered.  “Perhaps I am hallucinating!” “Or perhaps you are seeing things as they really are!” a gentle voice offered.  Lucia’s body was tingling as she turned toward the musical voice.

Lucia was enthralled by the presence of a beautiful large Angel who radiated feelings of comfort and love.

“Greetings, dear Lucia. I am Gabriel, chosen messenger of the Angelic realm this day to share our deepest gratitude to you for calling upon us.  We have long awaited the opportunity to partner with you to create a life filled with peace, love, joy, and harmony.  I am here to answer any questions you may have about how we may be of service to you.” As they walked down the street, Lucia’s many questions were asked and answered. 

Her life was transformed in that moment. To be continued ….

Lucia could be anyone of us, on any given day, when life feels a bit too challenging. By learning to partner with the Angels, Lucia learned that there really was tangible, practical help available once she knew how it worked.  Across many spiritual traditions, Angels serve as messengers of the Divine Source, as emanations of love, and as helpers for humanity.

If you are open to the possibility of Angelic existence, the partnership may begin with a request for help.

The request is important as Angels respect your free will and don’t work unbidden. Many people overtly ask for help, while others send out subconscious requests for heavenly assistance.  As Lucia learned, there is no limit to the number of Angels available, type of help given, or wisdom, love, and healing that they offer. 

Angels have no space or time restriction, so they can be with anyone and everyone, anywhere, at any time.

No request is too small or too large. This is important and frees you to ask the Angels for any kind of help. It truly doesn’t matter whether you are asking for guidance about life decisions, healing from disease, recapturing joy in relationships, or finding the perfect parking place.  You may ask aloud, within your mind, or on paper. Just so long as you ask.

Lucia stopped still once she saw the ‘signs’ of Angels around her. 

She then moved through her doubt to enter into a dialogue to learn more. These are important steps as you open intuitively to the Angelic conversation. Take time to be still and notice what ‘answers’ show up in your life.  You may quiet the active mind by meditating, reflecting in nature, turning off the TV or radio, or slowing down while you consciously move through your day.  Everyone is intuitive and has the potential to receive information in their unique way.

Children know this and display a natural trust, as well as a playfulness, in their openness to the world beyond the five senses.

Once open to receiving help and guidance, you may notice the coincidental way a stranger offers an idea, a challenge  miraculously dissolves, or a friend provides you with the perfect book.  Solutions appear in dreams, gut feelings guide you in the right direction, and feelings of peace descend with the thought of being surrounded by Angels. 

Take note that conversations with Angels provide kind, loving, and positive messages that are always empowering.

These beings of light are never harsh, dismissive, and judgmental. If doubt or critical thoughts enter your dialogue, take a breath and drop back into your original intent to connect with the loving assistance of the Angelic realm.  If you’re interested in how the Angels may help enhance your life, ask them to lead you to the books, people, workshops, and experiences that support your learning more.  Most importantly, have fun with this exploration as the Angels are naturally light, joyful, playful, and enthusiastically loving.    

Let’s see how Lucia’s Want Ad is paying off.

Six months later, Lucia laughed and thanked her ‘parking Angel’ as she once again found the perfect parking space outside her office building.   With a bounce in her step, she enthusiastically set off for work. Trusting that whatever she needed would be provided. Knowing she was surrounded and protected by the unlimited love of the Angels.  By seeking this partnership, Lucia had rediscovered the delight, joy, and unconditional love that is available to everyone. 

As Lucia walked confidently into the building, people stopped to admire her glow. 

Lucia had reclaimed the light within that was her namesake. Once the Light brightened Lucia, it continued to flow forth to bless those who crossed her path.  Who knows? Perhaps some of that Light is flowing through these words to you right now. Remember that whenever you ask the Angels for help or to rekindle your Light, they respond immediately. Engaging the Angels has the potential to enhance your life and awaken your inner glow. 

Ready to place your Want Ad? I know I am.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Is religion good for your health? In 2015, researchers from Duke University reviewed more than 3000 studies looking at religion/spiritual beliefs and wellbeing. A majority of relevant studies revealed that relationships exist between religion/spirituality and psychological health, physical well-being, and longevity. However, it isn’t clear exactly why these links exist. Researchers identify these 3 reasons why religion/spirituality may be good for you: better health habits, enhanced coping, and social support.

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The Power of the Pause


Let’s tell the truth. Sometimes life gets you down.

As if the powers that be are conspiring against you. As if the power within you has gone on vacation. As if all your hard earned success at managing life seems out of reach. Those times may arrive with a shock or when the proverbial straw breaks the camel’s back.

Regardless of how the pressure came about, when it’s too much, it’s too much.

Many of you were raised with voices outside of you urging you to keep going. To keep your chin up, dry your tears, and keep trying. Now, that’s not necessarily bad advice, but there’s a time and place for that response.

Everything works better when there’s a rhythm that allows for intense focus and action interspersed with resting and day dreaming. Yet, that’s not the way of the adult world.

It’s the relentless messaging from family, school, work, and society to strive for success that gets internalized.

When you hear something enough, you begin to believe it. And adopt it as your own. Especially if you don’t know any better.

Kids know better.

When they’ve had enough, they cry out loud. They flop to the ground as if their bones are fluid. They let you know in no uncertain times that it’s time for a break. And they get one – a nap, a cuddle, a bath, or a snack.

Somewhere along the way, we adults forgot the benefit of that pause.

And when society forgets it, you’re invited to forge ahead. To work hard in order to prove your worth or earn your keep. Along the way, you get amnesia for the wisdom and pleasure of taking a pause.

The bigger picture has gotten so mixed up that a Time Out is considered a threat or a punishment by many parents (and children) rather than a wise intervention. Here’s the thing …

When it becomes the normative expectation to keep going, no matter what, you’re gonna run into yourself at some point.

That applies pretty much to everyone who has let go the Pause. Which means most of you. Especially you who are high achievers, working parents, nurturers, highly responsible workers, and creative entrepreneurs. Most of you might have a hard time taking a break when you need one.

That’s key: taking a break when you actually need a break.

Not when it’s your lunch hour, bedtime, or the weekend. Not when that project is finished, your boss is happy, or your kid has moved out. It’s best to take a pause and reorganize yourself as soon as you’re feeling the stress building up.

You can recognize the Power of the Pause to keep your breathing smooth, your brain sharp, and your heart open.

 

I hear a lot about stress every week. It’s inevitable since I talk to humans.

I hear less about pausing. When it is explored, I recognize that the adult version of a pause is pretty short lived. As if the bare minimum will be sufficient to lift every straw off your back.

A bath. A nap. A snack. A walk in the woods.

The truth is, if you’ve been raised in the world which tells you to keep going no matter what. And if your inner voice adds to the clamor by diminishing you if you want to take that break.

Well, you’re in a pickle. ‘Cause no little nap or afternoon on the couch will be sufficient to repair years and decades of striving to move forward.

It takes a concerted effort to reorganize a stress response system that has gone out of whack.

You were built to manage stress. To grow and thrive when faced with challenge. To flexibly navigate the steep inclines and curving paths of your day to day existence. When you’re clear headed and well rested, you’ve got options.

When you’re frequently feeling overwhelmed or moving through a particularly stressful time in your life, your potential to flexibly and intelligently respond to stress is limited. The more rigid your response to stress, the less capable you are to relate to life. And the more likely you are to be overwhelmed.

That’s why I created the Self Soothe Strategy PlayBook and guided meditation.

To remind you of something you may have forgotten. You have an intelligent stress response system which offers much more than a Fight or Flight response. When you balance movement with pausing and are aware of both the benefit and detriment of stress, you increase the tendency to utilize the appropriate response to each stressful situation.

You’re smarter when your stress response is free to guide you. Less ready to break and more ready to relate effectively.

Stress is a biological state designed to flexibly guide you into action and help you learn from experience. And you have choices in how to respond: the Challenge Response, the Tend and Befriend Response, or the Fight or Flight Response. You’ve got options. Overwhelm or a lack of understanding of how you work limits these options.

Understanding more about your Stress Habit, your Stress Response System, and your Stress Mindset opens the way to change.

Allowing you to integrate the benefit of Pausing throughout the day as a regular part of your routine. And as a response to a build up of tension. The Self Soothe Strategy offers a quick read so you get the basics needed to both understand how you’re primed to manage stress and how to consciously activate a more intelligent, beneficial response to the inevitable challenges of life.

I hope you take a moment to download this PlayBook. And pause to read it.

I hope you enjoy the guided meditation. and pause to listen. There’s some great practices in there. All designed to integrate the Pause. But, I’d recommend you take it further. Get serious about taking those breaks. Plan them as a regular part of your weekly routine and drop into the pause whenever you feel the tension rising.

When you need a break, take a break.

I’ll bet the sun still rises and the stars still shine. And you, too, will shine a little brighter without carrying the weight of the world.s

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Paying it forward. Tiny actions of kindness gather momentum. You may think of the benefit for the person receiving the kindness, but what about those who witness it? Research has found that witnessing kindness offers a feel good boost of chemicals. And makes it more likely you’ll pass it on. Subtle acts of kindness litter your day.  Watch for them. Create them without caring if anyone sees you. The result? Check out the Give a Little Love video on youtube by Noah and the Whale. Kindness paid forward. There’s no limit on that potential!

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Time Travel

I witnessed a big brown dog out for a stroll with a small boy on the end of his leash.

Laughing at the incongruity of the pair, I wondered who was walking whom.  I thought how easily it would be for this large dog to hijack this tiny boy to walk along the pet’s preferred path.  After a moment of chuckling, I returned to my previous worry about some future thingamajig.    As I reentered this worry pattern, the image of the big dog and the little boy popped into my mind. 

Who was walking whom?

My worry thoughts were like the big dog, pulling my attention away from the present moment.  Like a small child, my attention was yanked out of present time, dragged forward by this current of worry about a future that had not yet come. 

I realized I had been time traveling.

I snapped back to the present, breathed consciously, and noticed my surroundings.  “Be here now.” I checked in with my body and my emotions and found I was just fine. Everything in this moment was fine. 

I focused upon the beauty of the sky and the budding greenery of spring. 

I felt contentment, reflecting on my many blessings.  I was quickly back in the present moment – jerked back to real time by the simple appearance of a big brown dog and a small boy.  I had to smile as I imagined the young boy going home to announce to his parents that he had rescued a woman from the unnecessary throes of worry. 

My tiny hero and his furry sidekick. 

I reflected upon this epidemic of time travel.  How frequently your regret catapults you to past transgressions. This type of runaway time travel is distinctly different from a conscious review of past choices or making amends.  Practices of forgiveness, clarifying feelings, and righting wrongs are actions taken to achieve resolution, clear past bindings, and make peace with self and others. 

Allowing a return to the present moment rather than keeping you trapped in the past. 

Equally ineffective is a fearful leap forward, imagining future scenarios of how things could go very wrong.  While creative solution generation makes good sense, it’s different from fruitless worry or complaining. These are simply an inefficient use of energy, focus, and intelligence. 

Such fearful or critical thoughts pull your attention from what’s happening and placing it on what’s not.

Without the ability to notice and then sit with what is happening right now, you lose the option to consciously choose how to “be” and what “do.”  Calm contemplation, even in challenging times, helps you access greater wisdom so you may engage in inspired action. 

If you’re addicted to “time travel” (most of us are), you need to shift your mode of travel (worry thoughts) and destination (future problem).

 

Indigenous shamans, wise leaders, and conscious parents dream the future for themselves, their communities, and their great, great grandchildren.  They travel within their imagination, in partnership with their guidance, to witness a positive future.  But you’re no shaman, so how’re you going to dream the future?

Here’s the good news.  You’ve been in training for a lifetime.

All that time spent projecting your thoughts and imagination forward and backward in time makes you a genius time traveler.  That’s where the shift  comes in. Replacing worry with daydreaming a positive outcome.  Strengthening the vision with feel good emotions, encouraging self talk, and beautiful images. 

If you’re not great in the positive imagination department just yet, start by writing, drawing, or creating a vision board of a future outcome.

Time travel can be mindless (ruminating while driving) or mindful (noticing our surroundings, silent contemplation). You are already primed for this type of dreaming.  Exploring a lovely future sure beats being dragged along by worry. As a bonus, you’ll begin to create new neural pathways. Building new skills and increasing the potential for positive dreaming.

Observe yourself to notice how often you speed forward and backward in time.

Make a choice to stay present.  Plan some quiet time to consciously and creatively travel through time. Shaman style. Dream a new, bright future into being.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

A lot of people are EXCITED about the chance to vote in this presidential election. That’s new for many. Excitement. Passion. Commitment. Wanting to have a voice. Regardless of why they feel strongly or which candidate they are choosing, there is interest and commitment this year. This seems to be one thing we have in common with our fellow citizens. I enjoyed this encouragement to VOTE from the Hamilton cast. Here’s the link: Hamilton X When We All Vote. Spread the word. If you need help getting registered, call me!  I’ll help you.

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Creating my Website: 8 Lessons Learned

I value hindsight. It allows me to notice what I’ve learned.

When I complete a project, let’s use my beautiful new website as an example, I find myself naturally settling into a reflective period. I’ve learned the hard way that if I jump in to the next thing too quickly, I’ll miss all the juicy nuggets of things learned. I want to integrate these hard won insights, lessons, and discoveries. So I may practice and improve upon them as I grow.

I’ve learned to leave judgment out of the process.

It just isn’t helpful to judge yourself or others. That’s a diversion and is just covering up something that wants to also be seen. So, if you find yourself judging, dive deeper to see what is within you that needs to be heard, held, and helped. Then you’re free to meander through the project’s creation. Celebrating the sweet spots, taking note of what is yet to be learned, and gently acknowledging things could have been done differently.

Here’s 8 (really valuable) lessons I’ve learned during the creation of my website.

There’s more, but 8 is enough. Here goes. Life is creative. You are creative. It doesn’t matter if you are making your art, developing a business, raising a child, planting a garden, or transforming your life. The act of living is an act of creation. I hope my insights inspire you to keep going and create something beautiful for the world.

1. It’s okay not to know how to do it.

When you are leaping (or crawling) to a new level of creating, it seems obvious that you won’t know “how to do it.” After all, it’s a new level. Ask any high school student at the beginning of the school year if they understand algebra, chemistry, or physics. First time in? Not so much. Ask again at the end of the year. This expectation that you “should” be able to do something which requires learning, new knowledge, and perhaps skills you’ll never get around to learning, is kinda silly really. Funny that it’s such a common expectation. I hope you let that idea go.

2. You can’t do it alone. No one ever does.

No one does it alone. Not ever. Especially when creating and growing requires knowledge, skill, and experience that you don’t have. Kinda obvious, huh? Everything builds on everything. And so many people help along the way. I’m so grateful for Rodrigo who built my first beautiful website when I opened my private practice and started offering workshops in 2005. And for Emma who midwifed me through a lengthy process of clarifying and translating my Soul’s intent into a work of HeArt.

I’m truly grateful for Rich who has supported every need online and found every solution throughout the years. Who is still figuring out how to make things work so I can do my work. For dear friends and colleagues who have encouraged and taught me along the way. For the depth of this Cosmic guidance appearing in so many ways. And for you. All of you who show up, share, and live the inspired ideas that flow through my work. Who inspire me to dive deeper. You do nothing on your own. That much I know for sure. (Which is why I value sending Love Letters expressing my gratitude).

3. Be true to your Soul (and not marketing advice).

I had to let go so much expert advice on “how to” create my brand, voice, website, and offerings. In the midst of confusion and overwhelm during the process, I recognized something. I had to be true to myself and what wanted to flow through me. I had to choose these inner promptings over outer advice. So, I quit trying to be concise (not my strong suit) and just let my words flow. I stopped searching for the catchy phrases or the best way to create a webpage.

I wanted to create a work of HeArt that would serve you. So I did. Unapologetically, I decided to show up true to myself. While I hope that truly serves you, I’m clear about following the voice of my Soul rather than marketing advice. With that said, I’ve learned a lot from the expertise of those in the marketing and business development fields. I’ll keep on learning from them and only take what aligns with my Soul.

4. Let your ideas be seeds not end products.

Your creative process is a process. And it’s influenced by unseen forces which are wildly creative and supremely intelligent. I’ve learned that my little pea brain and the tiny ideas I hold there are nothing compared to what wants to be created through me. Plant your seed: be curious about your ideas and nurture them. Remembering that nourishing an idea does not mean demanding it appear in a way that pleases you. Then go seek genius, beauty, and delight in the world. When you’re inspired by those who let their seeds grow wildly, you open to the possibility of what may be.

Your creative process is a process. And it’s influenced by unseen forces which are wildly creatively and supremely intelligent.

 

5. Transparency helps you stay real.

Tell the truth. Sometimes creating some new version of yourself or a project is exhilarating and enjoyable. Sometimes it’s a shit show. And often it pulls you down into your patterns of limitation. So you can see them, break through them, and rise up higher.  It’s human nature to excel, to fail, to show up, and to hide. So, get real and tell the truth.

Not everyone needs to know everything of course. This isn’t a suggestion for a lack of boundaries or forgoing self awareness. Save the private work for the sanctity of your trusted Soul, true friends and helpers, and supportive colleagues. Just give up the presentation that everything is bright and shiny. Social media does enough harm that way

6. Creativity meanders. Give up the straight path.

You were raised in a world that teaches the linear, hierarchical path. Yet, you meander. We all do. Take a look at nature. Listen to anyone’s life story. Explore how innovators, artists, and rule breakers came into their ideas and their current way of being. You’ll find the meandering path in all of these places. Meandering is the way of the Soul and the movement of life.

The societal message that you have to start here, do this, and get there is a work of fiction. Well accepted fiction, but it’s just not the way of life. When you practice the art of meandering and see each diversion as an indication of your path’s wise direction, you cease to bang your head against the brick wall. This takes practice. We’ve all been trained as head bangers who come up short. It’s not our fault. Meandering wasn’t in the curriculum. Put it back in.

7. Don’t quit. Do go outside and play a bit.

It’s okay to lay down a project. Sometimes you need a break for a bit. Sometimes COVID happens and everything turns upside down. Life is wise. So are you. When inner or outer disruptions interfere with your project, take notice. Breathe deep, take a break, and ask your inner wisdom for guidance. Maybe that answer shows up immediately upon asking, but most the time it takes a while to arrive. It’s a good idea to head out to play a bit. Let what’s happening behind the scenes happen. You aren’t doing this alone, remember?

You may have to let go a hidden belief so you can grow into a bigger potential. Or somebody or something else has to come into place. It may be time to make peace with making mistakes or not knowing how to proceed.  Who knows? Worry less about where you are in the project timeline and enjoy the meandering art of creation. Coming back into alignment with everyone and everything that is conspiring to create something wonderful and beneficial.

And when you’re done playing, get back to work. Tiny actions and persistent effort, when executed wisely, yield very cool results.

8. Let go of perfection as you strive for excellence.

I like things to show up the way I want them. I’m meticulous about beauty and accurate representation. I had to learn to let go and let Emma create beauty. To enter the design with Rich so I could tweak and bedazzle it to my liking. And then just let it be even when parts didn’t work. To make the decision to launch a site that isn’t perfect and may never be.

Again and again, to face the inevitable brick wall that isn’t brick at all. Just a reminder that not everything can be figured out quite yet. That mistakes are made and eventually will be fixed. And to hold the commitment to the Soulful intent with positivity, love, and gratitude. Again and again. Witnessing what unfolds. Accepting what is less than perfect.

At the end of the day, it’s a Love Letter. To you and your Beautiful Soul.

And that’s what matters. You. Loving your Beautiful Soul. We, together, all of us. Loving all Beautiful Souls.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Daily creativity can help you flourish. Research suggests that everyday creativity leads to greater well-being. A study tracked time young adults spent in daily creative endeavors, reports of positive and negative emotions, and “flourishing” (an overall sense of meaning, purpose, engagement, and social connection). Results revealed that being engaged in more creative activities than usual led to positive emotion and flourishing the next day. Negative emotions didn’t change. Since the reverse wasn’t seen (positive emotions and flourishing didn’t increase creativity), findings suggest that everyday creativity is an important to wellbeing.