The Art of

WholeHearted Living

Stories, Strategies and Surprises

Backwards Gratitude Fuels Forward Expansion

November 23, 2022

I’m so grateful for you and all the good things in my life. Gobble. Gobble. Let’s eat.

Thanksgiving offers a cornucopia of gratitude. From the heart appreciation for friends, family, colleagues, and the Divine expression of good (by any name you choose. It’s a feel good time. Smiles and hugs. Thankful texts. Maybe even some old fashioned Hallmark cards with handwritten notes.

A few days of heartfelt appreciation gives way to Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday.

Ugh. The emails. The ads. The holiday music. The cornucopia of consumerism powered by FOMO. Pulling your attention away from that lovely reflection about who and what adds meaning to your life. Pouring it right into what you need to buy for whom and when you’re going to give it to them and how to schedule every holiday activity. Phew. Or the focus reminds you of who or what you are missing, thus dreading the season of cheery ho ho ho. Ouch.

Perhaps you might take a moment and harness the power of appreciation a bit differently this year?

What if you took time to sit and reflect, really reflect, on all the things, people, shitty occurrences, and opportunities you encountered over this past year? And how every last one offers you the chance to be really, truly grateful. Maybe you can only garner a seed of appreciation or perhaps your heart blows open and spews gratitude confetti all over the world.

Either way, I wonder what you’d discover if you gave yourself one concentrated hour of Backwards Gratitude.

“What/who was I grateful for this year and why?” This questions invitees you to float through your memories to discover the riches hidden there. You can make lists in your journal, replay your memory movies, or scroll your photos to get a thorough “look” at this year’s events.

However you do it, I’ll bet you discover something important.

You experienced a lot of grateful moments this past year. So many that they slipped through your fingers (only to be found in a simple hour of reflection). I bet you missed plenty of opportunities to savor and share your appreciation. Because you jumped back into your schedule and focused forward on that next thing.

Upon reflection, I imagined you identified what was really important and brought you comfort, joy, satisfaction, and laughter.

Backwards gratitude may be used to launch you into a New Year of consciously creating a life filled with meaning, deep connection, and heartfelt appreciation for every little thing.

It’s an easy thing to do if you keep it simple, put it in front of your face, and get some partners to play the appreciation game in real time.

First, start with simple. What are 3 areas you were really, truly grateful for this past year? Put them in categories like loving relationships, meaningful work, fun adventures, or developing skills. What or who fits in each of the 3 categories? Take a moment to notice if there was a blossom (fully grown gratitude), a seed (needs some work to feel appreciative), or some dirt (missed the appreciation thing cause you were too busy complaining or feeling victimized). Imagine your life if these 3 categories began to blossom.

Make a commitment to grow this Gratitude Garden in the New Year.

Second, put it in front of your face. Research shows that if you write something down or create a visual (art, mantra, goals, vision board, graph) AND put it where you review it on a regular basis, you have a better shot at bringing that desire into your life. Your reticular activating system is the part of your brain that acts like a search engine. When you see your intent daily or review it weekly, your brain seeks every way to bring it into form 24/7.

Make it visual, put it where you’ll see it, and schedule time to review how well you are gardening these desires.

Third, once you’ve done your Backwards Gratitude, share it with someone else. Ask them to take a moment and find some big little people, things, or circumstances they really appreciated last year. Game on.

Gathering your playmates enhances the potential of making this next year something to cheer about.

When you share the 3 areas of your life you want to nourish through gratitude, you’ll find a built in support. Make that commitment to check in with each other in any way that feels helpful. Doing so throughout the year will increase the chance that next year’s Thanksgiving week will be something to celebrate.

I’m feeling grateful just imagining you with your confetti spewing heart at next year’s Thanksgiving feast.

Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.

HeartWarming

News

I have a friend who has researched this simple, in your face, share it with someone approach. Turns out it really works. She’s impressive. On New Year’s Day, she puts a huge blank paper on the wall. Every night before bed, she grabs a colored marker and writes something she is grateful for. Big things. Tiny things. I bet she stays up past her bedtime some nights, just overdosing on all that colorful appreciation. How many times must she just have to text, call, or hug somebody with all that gratitude spilling out of her? On December 31st, she sits down with her 365 memories and reviews her year. My heart just squirts out confetti imagining her New Year’s Eve review. And then she begins the practice again. Wow. So impressive, my friend. I’m so grateful for you in my life.

Please Share

More to

Explore

Transform Stress to Calm
The Self-Soothe Strategy

Learn the one essential skill that allows you to face any challenge with confidence, sturdiness, and inner calm.

More than a technique. It’s a game changer.

Grab your empowering (and free) Workbook + Guided Meditation

Transform Stress to Calm
The Self Soothe Strategy

Learn the one essential skill that allows you to face any challenge with confidence, sturdiness, and inner calm.

More than a technique. It’s a game changer.

Grab your free, empowering 60 page PlayBook + Guided Meditation

Recent Stories

The Glow of Giving

I grew up with generous giving. Not that it was discussed. More like witnessing some folks modeling “how to” give of their time, money, and talent.

Am I Present?

I was lost in a dream. Caught up in an old story about how to live life. I felt the stress of this dream – occurring in the light of day with eyes wide open.

Explore all my Blogs