Author: Kathy Milano

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Broken Hearts and Unlikely Friends

The world of sorrow has a tendency to rush into your awareness.

Bombarding your precious heart with news of violence, injustice, scarcity, and fearful stories about the “other” or the stability of “your” future. Shaking your sense of safety and robbing you of peace.

It’s not your fault if you shake, shudder, and fall down.

The media is designed to weaken your foundational awareness that you are lovable and capable. That it is safe to listen to your own wise voice, even if you have to search for it. The world holds so much noise, all the time, that it has you listening outward instead of inward.

Allowing a tiny breeze of news to knock over your redwood nature.

So your heart shrinks a few sizes as you hunker into the shadowy thoughts about how you aren’t enough or there isn’t enough time, money, kindness, or goodness. Or your ferocious heart breaks open as anger rages through your body and grief cries rivers down your face. Because people hurt each other so cruelly and unjustly.

As if they’ve forgotten they are part of the same family even through they look different.

Or live differently. Shit. It’s enough to make you want to head back to bed or stick your head in a fantasy world. But, here’s the thing with toppled redwoods. They make space for the light to shine in and a new breeze to whisper of some other story.

Just when you’re ready to despair about the state of the world and drown your intelligence on Instagram, you spot a reel with a puppy riding on a rooster’s back.

Calmly regal as if he is the regent of the peace parade. Allowing a belly laugh so loud that tears fall out of your eyes and water your stingy heart. You easily imagine how the world would be in a lot better shape if that puppy rooster duo would make the rounds of every war zone, nursing home, inner city, and traffic jam.

Well, why wouldn’t the wisdom of a joyful heart and beauty of unlikely friends cloak itself in every medium?

The world of wonder has a tendency to rush into your awareness.

Seek and you shall find. Everything is available for discovery. Yet, remember this. Don’t spend too much time seeking those posts of wisdom or laugh out loud reels ‘cause the din of the world’s idea of news or entertainment can drown out what is most important.

Your inner voice. Whispering an invitation to shut it all down.

To go within and restore your bruised, broken heart.

Allowing your body to rest and your mind to reorient to your own priorities for living. Not those offered by a well meaning or nefarious world of influence and influencers. Shifting your focus away from your own mind stories that drown you in despair or discomfort to the small, shining treasures of the moment. It is here that you remember something essential.

You, like the world, are filled with good intentions, wonder, and a medicinal dose of kindness.

Recognizing this allows the heart to open and the lungs to breathe. Inviting you to reflect upon those inner values and visions which guide your actions in the outer world. Ah, yes. Here lies your own truth, sturdy in the assault of any fake news or sudden storm.

This is the path inward to the wise heart which knows when to open and when to close.

This inner guide, sturdy as a redwood, seeded and nurtured by your source, knows when to retreat, repair, and regenerate. And when to open, share loving kindness, and sturdy peace no matter what the world is offering.

There are two approaches to this natural opening and closing of the heart. One Wise. One Reckless.

The surprising thing about the heart is that, like the puppy and rooster, it gets along with this disturbing world of wonders. Within you lies the intelligence to witness the balance and goodness in all things bright and dark. The peaceful, sturdy heart witnesses without judgment and waits for the inner whisper which guides inspired action.

There is a time to pop on the rooster’s back and head out for a look see. A time to topple and rest, receiving help as it arrives. And a time to act with an open, compassionate heart, clear in the privilege of being a part of this human dance. Messy that it may be.

I’m a big fan of the sturdy redwood version of your heart system.

I know there are many ways in to that great peace which influences your mind, body, energy, and response to your inner and outer worlds. My absolute favorite way to soothe my heart open involves the practices from Heart Assisted Therapy.

If you haven’t downloaded my Self Soothe Strategy Playbook and Guided Meditation, I wonder why.

That’s available with some other goodies on my Free Resources page.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Here’s a simple heart opening practice. Whenever you feel a contraction of your heart, mood, or thinking, take a breath. And another. And another. Take 3 breaths. If possible, pause while you do this. If you’re driving, you can breathe deeply. If you are in a meeting, or running one, you can pause and breathe. Invite those around you to do the same. You’re not trying to change anything. You are breathing consciously 3 times. Then look around and spot 3 things that represent beauty, appreciation, and creativity. You can do this as you present, drive, and discuss any topic. If your face is in a screen, take a brief break. Finish with 3 breaths and with each one, name your discovery. Beauty. Appreciation. Creativity. Practice this for calming the body-mind and opening the heart. 

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Girl, Stop Complaining!

I came home from a super long day hungry and jet lagged, ready to drop my bags and dig into dinner.

There was only one problem. The kitchen was empty, as was the fridge. Having recently travelled, I only purchased a few things when we returned home and they were long gone. Scanning the freezer and cupboard for something edible, I unenthusiastically settled for pasta puttanesca.

Only to learn I had no artichoke hearts.

I apparently entered a downward slide as I complained about how my husband cooked the capellini, bitched about the runny sauce, and commented on a few other things that weren’t to my liking.

“What’s gotten into you? You’ve done nothing but complain since you came in.”

Ouch. So true. I was complaining up a storm. That observation was enough to take the wind out of those sails. First up, acknowledge and apologize for my behavior. Second, take a mini time out and change into comfy clothes. Third, play a game and listen to music while we ate.

Harmony restored, I realized I’d been complaining more than usual all day.

A slow recovery from a cold and launching into a long vacation with multiple time zones had apparently taken a bit more out of me than I realized. Full of wonderful and mediocre experiences, I had very little downtime to relax or process my journeys before diving back into work, errands, and schedule.

Mystery solved. Yet, I didn’t want that complaining habit to sneak back in next time I was tired, hungry, and over scheduled.

I tracked back over my grumpy day and realized I had been using strategies to offset my complaining. Each was beneficial in the moment, but I missed the need to increase my vigilance about how I was feeling. Like many people, my tendency to complain increases when I am uncomfortable or life has not met my expectations (as if it should).

These 3 Strategies, consciously applied, help me quit my bitchin’ and grow my gratitude.

Engaging The Beauty Way

I overslept that morning, making me late for an early appointment. Rushing to pack my lunch, I knew I was compromising my hair stylist by being late as her first customer. It didn’t feel great. Driving through a drizzle on a grey, chilly New Jersey day, I looked at the dreary woods and my mood dipped again. Yet, I wasn’t willing to be as miserable as the weather appeared, so I launched my Beauty Way practice.

The Beauty Way is both a Path and a Practice in the indigenous energy medicine of the Andes in Peru.

Like many earth based traditions, there is a focus upon creating beauty and harmony with every thought, word, and deed. To see the harmonizing energy that beauty reveals in others and your environment. And to bring beauty to every encounter. I was still driving in the drizzle on my street when I began speaking out loud to anchor my attention into this intent of Beauty.

“May I see the beauty of the rain nourishing the Earth, filling the waters, and feeding the creatures.

May I witness the intelligence of nature as she rests during the Winter season, nourishing her roots and seeds, in preparation for the reemergence of green life in the Spring. May I dwell in gratitude for the ease of driving in my beautiful car, upon these well maintained roads, through this town, passing others who are busy in the action of living. May I see the beauty within every person I meet today as I witness their special gifts, needs, and circumstances. May my presence be a blessing in any way that serves the greater good. May I be reminded throughout this day that harmony is the underlying principle of life and that I can join that harmony anytime I choose.”

The Beauty Way guided me into an appreciative customer who was only 4 minutes late.

I’d like to say it lasted all day, but I forgot the “practice” of the Beauty Way when I reached for my purse. Enter strategy #2.

Shifting Crappy Complaints into Glowing Gratitude

Parking the car, I discovered my water had spilled out from my purse onto my front seat. I bet you can imagine my response, and it wasn’t beautiful. So much for my lovely presence improving the greater good.

Since I was already primed to avoid complaining, I quickly switched strategies.

Again, I spoke aloud so my mind would stay on track as I launched into gratitude. I honestly spewed out my gratitude that my cup was only half filled. And that it was hanging out of my purse so the water landed on my front seat, only soaking the two papers sitting there. My computer was protected (angels singing here) as the case was water resistant. I threw my (very important) papers on the floor with appreciation for those rubber mats. And my husband who put them there.

With a deep breath, a grateful heart, I launched myself into the salon filled with “beauty makers” and settled in to a chair to be waited upon.

That worked until my gal asked how my vacation to Hawaii was. Oh Lordy. Paradise was a bit dicey, so how to respond? My inner tendency was to name what was disappointing or what went wrong. I used a bit of humor to slide over that part. And then launched my next anti-complaint strategy.

Stringing Pearls

During seven days in (very busy, crazy crowded) Waikiki, I experienced so many enjoyable moments. I shifted through the aspects of the trip that were unpleasant, challenging, and disappointing. Diving for pearls, I spoke of the lovely weather and changing landscape as we drove around the island. The courage of surfers in massive waves and the beauty of the mountains seen from a boat. Witnessing dolphins, whales, and turtles in the ocean with a sense of wonder. The friendship and laughter with my husband’s work mates. The generosity of his company and celebration of their success. The somber visit to Pearl Harbor and gratitude we live in peace.

It was a long necklace filled with tiny and big moments.

When you seek the pearl, or beautiful moments, of any experience, you have the opportunity to revisit the good. And realize how good it is. This strategy overrides a cognitive function that often diminishes the positive. This negativity bias is a cognitive bias that results in the adverse experiences having a more significant impact on your psychological state than the positive events you experience. Even when the positive outweighs the negative, the yuck factor has a way of taking center stage.

Since you learn more easily from negative information than positive, the negativity bias serves as a survival strategy.

Inviting you to remember where all the tigers and pirates are so you can stay away from them next time. Trouble is, the negative experience is rarely a threat to survival. Mostly, as in this case, it is a challenge or disappointment that is easily managed.

All said and done, my day of complaining came to an end. It took 3 strategies and lots of refocusing to guide me into gratitude for the beauty of my pearl necklace.

It also helped me refocus on how I choose to be in the world, how to return to balance when I’m off kilter, and how to give people who tilt lots of kindness and space.

Been there, done that. And 1-2-3, I know how to get out of that complaining rut.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Seniors are notorious for complaining. Seniors in college about keeping up with coursework and finding work. Retired seniors complain about illness, loneliness, and being put out to pasture. New initiatives are now building senior living on or near college campuses. Offering the opportunity for retired folk to mentor, tutor, and cheer students on. Encouraging the students to share technological skills, engage in meaningful conversations, and share a class. It’s an innovative idea that isn’t cheap, nor common, but it’s a beginning to invigorate intergenerational resources (and tone down that habit of complaining.) Read more here.

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Wanderlust. A Traveling Dream.

I had a dream. To be clear, it was a personal dream.

It was January, 2020 and as I visioned my new dreams for the year, I felt a longing to travel arise within me. To see this beautiful world. To visit my favorite people and make new friends. It wasn’t just a vacation or two kind of dreaming. It was bigger than that. I was gonna learn how to travel a lot and build my current and new work into my trips. I was excited and raring to go.

Enter the pandemic.

With a nod toward my dreaming, I put it on a shelf and pivoted. I shopped for those who couldn’t go out. I cared for those who were sick. I spent time alone in Soul Sanctuary as I brought my therapy and classes online. I created a new website. I played a lot of board games, took drives with my daughter, and ZOOMed my friends and family.

I did what everyone else did. Grateful to be healthy and happy to be nourished at home.

Somewhere in the midst of 2022, I recalled that dream. And realized how all that pivoting allowed me the freedom now to launch myself and my computer across the friendly skies. Inadvertently I had been taking Tiny Actions toward this dream of expanding my horizons without even realizing it.

Such is the beauty and power of the Reticular Activating System. That google like part of your brain that works 24/7 on your visions and clear goals.

Hallelujah. I grabbed my computer and headed to Florida to see my kid.

In July. That’s funny. I went from one heat wave to another. As any parent knows, if your kid invites you to visit, you jump on the chance. Packing my sunscreen, beach clothes, and computer, I launched my year of exploring how to work while traveling.

I failed miserably at the work part and had a blast on the beach.

I learned it helps if you schedule something before you leave. In my subsequent trips to the Redwoods in California, Christmas in Florida, and a long jaunt to California and Hawaii, I’ve learned a lot about balancing this dream. Writing on long plane rides, mornings of scheduled time with lovely ladies, and on the go managing of business details seems to work for me. 

I think I’ve come up with a new formula.

Work hard while at home and work lightly while traveling.

Leaving time for relaxation, meaningful visits with new and old friends, time in nature, and exploration of new places. Trying to fit in too much just leaves me a bit unbalanced, which defeats the whole point of leaving home.

My most important discovery is how my wanderlust has been fully awakened.

I met a woman on a deserted beach in Northern California. She shared some of her travels through the 23 countries she had visited. I left that conversation with a longing to see this beautiful world and a feeling that I’ve missed that boat.

Talking with my husband, I recounted my worldly journeys through the years and discovered I had visited 17 countries. So maybe I’ve missed nothing even while my longing strengthens.

I’m back to dreaming about traveling again. My eagerness is balanced with a healthy dose of experience about how best to prepare, when to schedule work, my ideal travel pace, where to save or splurge, and how to become really flexible with expectation.

Oh yeah. And my preference for comfort.

Having been bumped up to business class a few times, I had no argument when my husband facilitated his own bump on the long flights to and from California.

I’m practicing my flexibility even now as I paused writing this blog to be served lunch. I just finished my lasagne, salad, and ice cream sundae. Much better than pretzels and water in coach. And space. I love the space offered by fewer people and quieter locales.

Crowded cities, traffic, beaches, and restaurants aren’t my idea of paradise.

Learning what makes the experience worthwhile is essential. I’m taking good notes this year of “practice traveling.” So I know when to work or not work. How to play slow or fast. And how to pack light. Well, that’s a work in progress, one which I hope to master very soon.

I’m ready to dream again this week in my Sacred Intent Visioning Retreat on Saturday.

I feel like my travel dream is launched and that research will continue naturally. My current longing for simplicity seems at odds with the wanderlust on steroids feeling I’ve got. Yet, I know my Soul is speaking to me and I’m looking forward to listening deeply.

My Soul has a dream. It’s a personal dream. And a dream for humanity.

I don’t understand how my little self and my small dreams fit into the larger picture. This much I know for sure: I don’t have to understand anything. Just drop within the stillness of my being and listen deeply. And walk through my moments with relaxed alertness so that I may find the clues which mark the perfect path.

I look forward to being home. Seeing my dog. Returning to Soul Sanctuary. And connecting meaningfully with the people and places in my own backyard.

I haven’t missed anything. And likely won’t miss traveling when I’m experiencing the joy of connection and purpose while at home. That’s another thing I learned. I’m not missing anything, even as I discover the worlds I never knew existed.

Wherever I go, there I am.

That’s a work in progress as well. To let the planning, dreaming, and moving happen organically while staying firmly grounded in the present moment. Full, complete, and at peace.

I’m getting a few hints about this budding dream of simplicity as I write. 

About the nature of living in gratitude for what (who) is here, curious about what else is possible, and being open to a whole new (unknown) adventure. I’m going to read my book now (which means I’ll soon be napping), while I let this seed of a Soul Dream root deeply within my being.

I was just served my water and pretzels.

Seems there is goodness offered wherever I sit. I’ll reexamine my previous dismissal of this gift with an open, appreciative heart. And since I’m so full, I’ll pass them onto my husband.

If I can find him in this roomy cabin in the clouds.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are you a sensation seeker or an experience seeker? The former love adventure travel, jumping out of airplanes and eating crispy critters considered a delicacy in some cultures. While high risk, adrenaline adventures aren’t for everyone, they offer you a few valuable lessons. Go with the flow is more than a chirpy saying. It’s an entry into a flow state in which you are in sync with your experience, the environment, and others. Experiencing awe is another hallmark of the thrill seeker. These are two components to cultivate if you wish to flourish in life, rather than settle for surviving. You may want to bypass the cliff diving, but still have a strong inner desire to seek new experiences. Being flexible with expectations, going with the flow, and surrendering to awe are guidelines for all adventurers in this journey of life.

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Love. Appreciation. Wonder.

Love

This is the energy back behind all form. You. Your family and friends. Loved ones who sing with the Angels. Santa. And every gift, holiday light, and tension you experience. It’s your nature. 

Let your Love glow.   

Love freely even when with people or in situations that make you crazy. We’re all crazy. Love the crazy. Whatever you’re doing, sprinkle it with love. If it’s your nature, it’s a natural impulse. Seek it and share it. 

Appreciation

My heart broke open this morning. Appreciating the fullness of life I was experiencing. The sweetness and the profound sorrow. The connections and the desire to reconnect. The hustle bustle and the stillness. It’s all in there. Life amazes me and I dissolve in appreciation, as long as I’m moving slowly enough to notice.

Pay attention. Appreciation wants to express through you.

It’s your nature. Be generous with yourself throughout the holiday. Appreciate where you’re at and show up as the real you. Doesn’t matter if your cookies taste good, you’re hungover, or just too damn cheery for most people in the room.

You be you.

Let your appreciation for others spill out into every interaction.

 

They really need this simple act of being noticed and thanked.
 

It’s a basic human need. Something we can all relate to. Plus, it just feels good. Kinda like drinking warm cocoa.I bet it isn’t too hard to find tiny and big ways you appreciate another person. Or a situation. Or even a really big problem.  



Appreciation invites freedom to the holiday table. 



And freedom is a much better dinner guest than tension or judgement.   



Wonder.



As a question. I wonder what marvelous thing or event will appear at our holiday celebration? 

As a feeling. It’s often a whole body experience with a sense that life has delivered something to your door that was way beyond your expectation. It could be momentary or sustained wonder. Either way, it feels great. Every cell agrees.



The magic of Santa. The new baby at the holiday table. The unexpected opening of hearts. 



Wonder at the stories in all sacred traditions. Of a light that guided the way to joy, peace, and sweet happiness with one another. On this Winter Solstice, I invite you to remember the Light within all beings and all of the natural world.



Seek and ye shall find.   



What you seek matters. For all of us.



I’m wishing you joy, peace, and love as you celebrate the sacred moments within this Season of Light. 



Thanks for being a part of this lovely community whether it’s receiving this Blog or showing up at Soul Sanctuary. I’m glad you’re around. You make my life richer with your Presence.



Happy holidays.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Always be on the lookout for Wonder. It’s a game changer. Wonder is a complex emotion best investigated by direct experience. It may be defined as a heightened state of emotion and consciousness. Prompted by something that is rare, unexpected, and beautiful. It holds elements of surprise, joy, curiosity, and contemplation. It drops you into an expanded state by surprise and delights you with the shift in perception of your surroundings and life itself. Settling into the moment, cultivating stillness, and calling forth love and appreciation may leave you Wonder Prone. 


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Sitting in the Mall. Ho Ho Ho No.

I was back at the Apple store. In the mall. During holiday shopping season.  

For someone who doesn’t shop much nor go to the mall during holiday season, here I was (again) at the Apple store. Second round of checking out why only one of my Air Pods worked. My original pair was fading and only the left pod worked. So I purchased a new pair only to discover that the right pod didn’t connect. 

A cheerful Apple Elf set me up with an appointment with a Genius who would resolve my issue. 

Any time I can work with a Genius, I’m in. Although I balked when told I’d have to wait over an hour for the next available smarty pants. Truth be told, I panicked a bit. What was I going to do in a mall for over an hour with all of these shoppers? Realizing the absurdity of my response, I accepted the gift of an appointment and set off to complete my one errand. I quickly remembered what I learned in my college marketing class.

Macy’s is filled with bright, shiny objects. All of which are arranged to call your name.

“Look at me! Pick me up! Take me home!” I found it fascinating how my mind was seeking something to buy, even as I ran the gauntlet of perfume bearing ladies wanting to spray me. After all, an hour to kill in the mall was an invitation to browse. Yet, I didn’t need anything and I didn’t fancy the lure of buying something for a quick oxytocin hit.

If browsing was out, perhaps I could get some extra steps in by walking the mall.

I knew that was a thing, mall walking. Unsurprisingly I had a full body shudder and a big fat no to that suggestion. Starbucks beckoned with the sound of blending and shaking, seemingly in rhythm with the holiday music. Another no. So, I stood still and waited to discover how I’d spend my hour. 

A gentle voice from within suggested a preposterous idea. 

“Why not sit on that couch over there?” In the midst of strolling shoppers, a small oasis of artistically positioned couches beckoned. With a seat that was not only free and calling my name, but facing the Apple store.

And then, I remembered.

This Season is Sacred

 

I sat down. Smiled at my neighbors who didn’t notice ’cause they were on their phones.



I breathed deeply as I tuned into the loving vibration that underlies all of life. Sacred in every moment and every movement.

Once connected, I radiated love and appreciation. 

I mean I littered the shit out of that busy mall. Spewing light, joy, and smiles in every direction.


Once I felt the momentum had a life of its own, I checked out my neighbors.I shared a smile with my couch mate, a slouching teen in a hoodie, as we laughed at a serious toddler stalled in the midst of the moving crowd. It was entertaining and refreshing to notice how a parent let a kid be curious and people slowed down for some sweet, humorous interactions.

With more time on my hands, I shared my holiday party photos with some “love you” texts.

Here I was in the mall, on a couch, absorbed in my phone, grinning like a maniac. I had this lovely warm feeling inside. Kinda like how the Grinch felt after he encountered that little genius, Cindy Lou Who.



“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.”



My time on the couch was complete. I took my LightBody into the cheery Apple store and met my Genius. Turns out the right pod was kaput. As she went off to get my replacement, it struck me.



My left pod, representing the Feminine, was active. Inviting me to become still, be receptive, and nourish myself directly from the Source of all things Sacred.



My right pod, representing the Masculine, suggested I tune out the outer world with its bright, shiny lure. So I could turn within to explore what was happening beneath the surface. Apparently, it took my failing Air Pods, two trips to the mall, an hour wait, and an empty couch to help me sit still and soak in the Sacred.



I hope you hear that inner call to let the glitter of the Season be delightful without obscuring the obvious.



Life is Sacred. All the time. Enjoy all the beauty, meaningful connections, and love you can radiate this holiday. Have fun giving and receiving your presents, stuffing your face, and laughing with strangers. When the going gets tough as loneliness or family stress surfaces, drop into the Light that always radiates.

Its nourishing Presence knows that YOU are already shiny and bright.


Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

There’s nothing wrong with shopping in the mall. I did my own research on that couch and watched happy people laden down with bags. Radiating happiness and laughter. Lots of shiny and bright couples and families. I also noticed some stressed out ladies (head down, walking fast). I bet they have “a list” and aren’t enjoying being the only elf in the family. And the expected crying kids and frustrated parents. That’s a given in any mall. Just remember this. Buying stuff that costs more than you can afford to please your sense of obligation or boost your self perception isn’t the greatest gift you can give yourself. 

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Let’s Do Some Good

 

Everyday I hear stories of pain. From the small empathic misses to the gross violation of human preciousness.

Everyday I seek stories of inspiration. From the tiny action of a kind sentence to a life committed to doing good.

I understand deeply that the world we live in is filled with wonder and horror. Small moments of contentment and big experiences of despair. It’s all part of life and that won’t change. Despite efforts to control the uncontrollable, you continue to ride that rollercoaster of highs and lows. I imagine life will keep on offering you everything as long as you’re breathing. So, what do you or I do about that?

I’m practicing showing up to whatever is showing up to me. As fully and completely as I can.

If an infuriating news story, personal disappointment, or tragic occurrence shows up in my face, then it’s also living in my energy field, my body, and my history. I see this as an invitation to clean it up inside myself. To process my grief, anger, sorrow, disappointment, or any other contracting emotion I may experience. These are clues, personally directed to show me the places in me that are still holding on to old energy, resentments, beliefs, and wounds. Enough all ready.

I’m ready to let it all go just like Elsa in Frozen. 

How to do that? With any tool, strategy, technique, or made up ceremony that holds the core intention to process this old stuff (energy, emotion, belief, hurt) out of your system. If your toolbox isn’t filled with techniques, mine is. And I’m happy to help you let it all go.

For starters, check out my free Self Soothe Strategy to learn the power of Energy Psychology and Heart Assisted Therapy.

I cry easily. It's predictable. If I'm inspired by a story, I'm quick to commence boo hooing.

 

I hope to cry at least once a day. Hopefully more.



When my intent is to seek those who inspire me, I’m typically rewarded with a plethora of moving moments. Yesterday I wished I had150 years left on this planet ’cause I was just that inspired to join the most amazing people, projects, and goodness that was oozing out of everybody I met or witnessed via the media. 



Humans are such benevolent, creative creatures and they fill me with wonder.



I witnessed really good parenting, a young person’s kind heart even in the midst of a despairing time, an entire crowd of people singing in public with a homeless man, a genius who is cleaning plastic out of rivers, and a man feeding the hungry with dignity (and fresh produce).



Every time I’m moved, I recognize that desire to do good which lives within me. Beating as strongly as my own heart. 



As I enter this month of December and the many Sacred Celebrations and Giving Traditions, I wonder how to stay grounded within this desire to do good. I’m not looking to set the world on fire with grand gestures. More like sharing Tiny Actions of Goodness everywhere I travel. I wonder if you’d want to join me? When you become conscious in your intent to Do Some Good and to Seek the Good, it’s amazing what unfolds.



Goodness litters your path. 



Sometimes you are the one bestowing it upon others and the world, often without even noticing. Other times, you catch the benevolence of another’s tiny to big words or actions. Another benefit of the Tiny Goodness is the simplicity with which a word, smile, action, or quiet gift is dispensed. Often without the recipient being aware that it is you who are littering in their moment. 



Stealth Beneficence has a way of flying under the radar of the egoic mind.



That’s a good thing. So, you don’t get all full of your good self or secretly look to see how others are praising your holy name. This season, let’s leave people to praise THE Holy Name. Whatever is held true in their hearts.



Leaving us free to Do Some Good. Quietly with glee. 


Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

33 million people are food insecure in the United States. That statistic makes me cry and they aren’t happy tears. It does motivate me to donate quality food to sources that pass out the food with dignity to those who will benefit. Creative new offerings like refrigerators stocked with fresh produce, microloans to allow families to supplement food purchases, and quality food delivery in economically challenged neighborhoods are helping. Shifting the norm of offering stale bread and dented cans of peas and peaches to those in need of nourishment. Food is not a luxury. It is medicine for the body: brain, gut, and energy. What action might you take that makes a tiny tummy feel better and a person feel respected?

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New Andean Energy Medicine Sessions

20 years and 11 months. That’s all it took for me to deliver this empowering healing tradition to you!

Life has a funny way of spiraling around. Waiting until you’ve unloaded enough of the conditioned BS you learned and lived. Opening you to that next wonderful opportunity. And then letting it germinate for just the perfect amount of time. In my case, years! 

My spiritual adventure began in earnest when I stepped onto the Andean Medicine Path 20 years ago. 

It was such a foreign concept for me who was raised Catholic, trained to think scientifically, and launched into mainstream healing with psychology. It was so familiar to my Soul and made a shit ton of sense to me, even when that awareness baffled me.

I’m forever grateful to Alberto Villoldo for his books which introduced me to his work.

And for my friend, Janet, who prompted me to make the epic journey to Manhattan for sessions with Alberto and other Four Winds teachers. For those women I’d gather with to informally study the Beauty Way and all of the foreign, familiar teachings from Peru and the Q’ero Medicine Men and Women of the Andes. Forever grateful.

Then my Soul put that down and introduced the Angels.

 I learned there are different doorways into the healing potential of One great thing where you may align with the powerful energy and Mystery that is behind all healing traditions and spiritual explorations. I meandered around the Angelic Path for years until I was redirected to study Energy Psychology and Energy Medicine. Wow, did that blow my early training out of the water. And, better yet, align quite well with the shamanic and Angelic paths. 

All of these Paths wove together throughout the years, then bowed to the Sacred Feminine Mystery in Her wondrous emergence.

I recognized that familiar adventure of diving deeply, working directly with the etheric teachers, and sharing the wisdom gained via my classes and retreats. So, I wasn’t at all surprised when a few years ago, I was encouraged to teach the Andean Medicine Wheel Path. After all, I had been using that Sacred Map for almost 20 years in my own life and found it practical and empowering. You’d think I’d predict was was coming my way next. Nope.

I was blindsided at the beginning of 2022 when my Soul invited me to study the Andean Medicine Path in earnest.

Thank goodness I had experience listening to my Soul and trusting my capacity to LEAP without knowing where I would land.

I'm thrilled to bring you such a rich variety of healing techniques in the tradition of the Q'ero Medicine People from Peru.

 

I’m offering an introductory discount of $50 for every Andean Energy Medicine healing session booked by 12/15/22.

You may experience sessions in person at Soul Sanctuary or remotely via ZOOM. I’ve found that live and remote sessions are equally powerful. When all your work is guided directly by the Lineage of Healers (etheric and living), these masters have no difficulty reaching through any vessel (including my own) to interact powerfully with your energy body. 

There’s a lot to explore with these healing techniques. I’ll simplify it with a few words: love, beauty, empowering transformation. 

My new web page will shed some light upon what an Andean Energy Medicine session is all about, including the Andean initiations via the Munay Ki Rites. All sessions and initiations are enhanced by a deeper understanding of this tradition. The Art of Becoming 6 week Journey guides a group of women through the Medicine Wheel so they may deepen knowledge, establish energetic connection, and experience transformation.  

This Path invites you to directly commune with your own wisdom and the archetypal presence of the healing lineage, spirit animals, and nourishing presence of Pachamama (Mother Earth).

Whether you only try one session or dive wholeheartedly into this Medicine Path, I’m happy to share my enthusiasm and knowledge with you. I believe in the beauty of your Soul and your potential for transformation far beyond what you may now dream of as possible. 

After 21 years, and many spirals through the shamanic path, angelic healing, energy psychology and medicine, and sacred feminine mystery, I’ve got this to say.

Something somewhere knows what it is doing. 

This I trust. This I’ve experienced. And this I look forward to – however it shows up and whatever it invites me to explore. 

Grab your $50 discount if you book by 12/15/22.

Your code is energymedicine50 (can be used multiple times). This is a time limited offer. Sessions will revert to the normal price of $225 for 90 minutes on 12/16/22.  

However you intersect with my Spiral Path (Andean healing, Angelic connection, Energy psychology and medicine, Sacred Feminine Mystery), I’m happy to be with you.

I view all personal healing as the launch pad for healing the family, communities, country, planet, and cosmos you belong in. When the personal turns cosmic, the Earth and all beings benefit. Our future generations and lightening of past influence are helped since all of these approaches move beyond time, space, and dimension.

I’m excited to engage the Sacred in this way. I hope to share this work with you. Details are on my Andean Energy Medicine page.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

The Kinship or Indigenous is posited to be vital to rebalance our life systems. There is a recognition that there are two primary and competing worldviews. The Dominant Worldview which most are living within is said to have more head than heart. Focused upon a rigid hierarchy, tolerant of injustice, built upon competition and personal gain, and the Earth viewed as an “it.” The Indigenous or Kinship Worldview is nonhierarchical, unified, views Earth as alive and loving, and values community welfare. Kinship recognizes collaboration across everything that is living: human groups, animals,  plants species, rivers, and mountains. Restoring the Kinship Worldview by Wahinkpe Topa and Darcia Narvaez may be the read of 2023. I know I’ll have my nose in that wise book.

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Backwards Gratitude Fuels Forward Expansion

I’m so grateful for you and all the good things in my life. Gobble. Gobble. Let’s eat.

Thanksgiving offers a cornucopia of gratitude. From the heart appreciation for friends, family, colleagues, and the Divine expression of good (by any name you choose. It’s a feel good time. Smiles and hugs. Thankful texts. Maybe even some old fashioned Hallmark cards with handwritten notes.

A few days of heartfelt appreciation gives way to Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday.

Ugh. The emails. The ads. The holiday music. The cornucopia of consumerism powered by FOMO. Pulling your attention away from that lovely reflection about who and what adds meaning to your life. Pouring it right into what you need to buy for whom and when you’re going to give it to them and how to schedule every holiday activity. Phew. Or the focus reminds you of who or what you are missing, thus dreading the season of cheery ho ho ho. Ouch.

Perhaps you might take a moment and harness the power of appreciation a bit differently this year?

What if you took time to sit and reflect, really reflect, on all the things, people, shitty occurrences, and opportunities you encountered over this past year? And how every last one offers you the chance to be really, truly grateful. Maybe you can only garner a seed of appreciation or perhaps your heart blows open and spews gratitude confetti all over the world.

Either way, I wonder what you’d discover if you gave yourself one concentrated hour of Backwards Gratitude.

“What/who was I grateful for this year and why?” This questions invitees you to float through your memories to discover the riches hidden there. You can make lists in your journal, replay your memory movies, or scroll your photos to get a thorough “look” at this year’s events.

However you do it, I’ll bet you discover something important.

You experienced a lot of grateful moments this past year. So many that they slipped through your fingers (only to be found in a simple hour of reflection). I bet you missed plenty of opportunities to savor and share your appreciation. Because you jumped back into your schedule and focused forward on that next thing.

Upon reflection, I imagined you identified what was really important and brought you comfort, joy, satisfaction, and laughter.

Backwards gratitude may be used to launch you into a New Year of consciously creating a life filled with meaning, deep connection, and heartfelt appreciation for every little thing.

 

It’s an easy thing to do if you keep it simple, put it in front of your face, and get some partners to play the appreciation game in real time.

First, start with simple. What are 3 areas you were really, truly grateful for this past year? Put them in categories like loving relationships, meaningful work, fun adventures, or developing skills. What or who fits in each of the 3 categories? Take a moment to notice if there was a blossom (fully grown gratitude), a seed (needs some work to feel appreciative), or some dirt (missed the appreciation thing cause you were too busy complaining or feeling victimized). Imagine your life if these 3 categories began to blossom.

Make a commitment to grow this Gratitude Garden in the New Year.

Second, put it in front of your face. Research shows that if you write something down or create a visual (art, mantra, goals, vision board, graph) AND put it where you review it on a regular basis, you have a better shot at bringing that desire into your life. Your reticular activating system is the part of your brain that acts like a search engine. When you see your intent daily or review it weekly, your brain seeks every way to bring it into form 24/7.

Make it visual, put it where you’ll see it, and schedule time to review how well you are gardening these desires.

Third, once you’ve done your Backwards Gratitude, share it with someone else. Ask them to take a moment and find some big little people, things, or circumstances they really appreciated last year. Game on.

Gathering your playmates enhances the potential of making this next year something to cheer about.

When you share the 3 areas of your life you want to nourish through gratitude, you’ll find a built in support. Make that commitment to check in with each other in any way that feels helpful. Doing so throughout the year will increase the chance that next year’s Thanksgiving week will be something to celebrate.

I’m feeling grateful just imagining you with your confetti spewing heart at next year’s Thanksgiving feast.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

I have a friend who has researched this simple, in your face, share it with someone approach. Turns out it really works. She’s impressive. On New Year’s Day, she puts a huge blank paper on the wall. Every night before bed, she grabs a colored marker and writes something she is grateful for. Big things. Tiny things. I bet she stays up past her bedtime some nights, just overdosing on all that colorful appreciation. How many times must she just have to text, call, or hug somebody with all that gratitude spilling out of her? On December 31st, she sits down with her 365 memories and reviews her year. My heart just squirts out confetti imagining her New Year’s Eve review. And then she begins the practice again. Wow. So impressive, my friend. I’m so grateful for you in my life.

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I’m a Secret Librarian

True confession. I’m a book nerd. 

Reading is one of the great pleasures of my life. As long as I remember, I’ve devoured books. My home is filled with artistic book piles in most rooms. Set there to lure me onto the couch in order to gain a little knowledge or get lost in an imaginative adventure. 

I’ll trade sleep for a good book and often am running late to an event because “I’m at a good part.”

I never hop on a plane without two books. One to study and one to invite me into a new world. I overpack books on vacations so that I can choose the read of the day from my traveling library. For practicality’s sake, I tried, against my better judgment, to train myself to use a Nook but I missed the paper and ink too much. 

It’s no wonder I view book stores as my playground.   

Some of my best writing and creative projects have occurred in the cafe at my local Barnes and Noble. It’s as if I enter a zone or portal of creativity whenever I settle in to write there. I can work for hours, almost unaware of others around me, only to surface for an enjoyable break perusing the shelves. It doesn’t matter what department I enter, I find the perfect books and read a few pages. It’s a habit, I guess. Gathering a pile of books to “look at” and heading down a rabbit hole while sitting on the floor, engrossed by someone’s research or creative expression of genius.

I think this is where my career as a secret librarian began. In Barnes and Noble.

While my eyes scan the book shelf, I inadvertently notice authors out of alphabetical order or a disorganized display (gasp). Perhaps the books are left haphazardly laying upon the rows, even from other sections, as if someone dropped them there without regard. This desire to neaten and place books where they belong also arises in the public library, but doesn’t seem to cross over to other areas of my life.

I think it’s a love affair with the written word that has me working incognito. 

If I followed my bliss and spent more time at Barnes and Noble, their shelves would probably be in really great shape. It seems like a perfect volunteer position when I decide to retire. The only downside is that I’d probably discover something else to study and head back to work.

I decided to officially become a librarian when I found the perfect little free library in a nearby town.

 

I’ve seen those cute little bird house libraries and even toyed with putting one in front of my home.

That didn’t make much sense as I live on a quiet street where everyone can easily access books of their choosing. Or pop in their lovely vehicles to head to the public library or favorite bookstore. Anyway, I’m not so good with building birdhouses, even if they’re going to be filled with books.

Imagine my surprise when I noticed a little library appear at the playing fields where I sometimes walked.

People head there to walk their pets or themselves. Kids, teens, and adults use the field for personal training. Mostly it’s empty when we venture there for a nature stroll, but sometimes it is filled with the enthusiastic hustle and bustle of kids or teens practicing their favorite sport.

A summer evening may fill the place with kids practicing football, lacrosse, soccer, or cheerleading.

Game days bring the parents, siblings, and grandparents who overflow beyond the small bleachers to lawn chairs. It’s fun to watch and brings back memories of the thrill of little league games and working in the snack bar.

So, I’m already primed for enjoyment walking by that tiny free library. It draws me in.

I saw a bunch of old adult books. The kind you clean out after 20 years of sitting in your study. They sat there for weeks. Nothing coming in and nothing coming out. Plus they weren’t displayed well. Just sayin’. With all these hundreds of kids and teens running around, some old Tom Clancy books weren’t fitting the bill. So, I tried an experiment. I found some young adult fiction I had read in pristine shape.

A week later, the books were missing. Tom Clancy remained.

When I read fiction, which is the only book I’ll pass on, you’d never know it was read. I take off the cover and use a book mark. It’s a book nerd thing. I started to experiment. Dropping off a trilogy with really fat books looking brand new. They disappeared. I rustled through the books my kid never read. Hardbacks. Fiction. Biographies of brave girls. All gone.

I only drop books when no one is around. Hence the secret part of my librarian title.

And I send each book with a wealth of wishes. I talk to the book(s) as I head over to the tiny house. “I hope you find the perfect home and inspire someone to know how creative they are. I hope you help someone discover a love of reading .. create new authors .. encourage innovation .. alleviate loneliness .. open minds. I hope you travel well and enjoy your adventure.”

Of course I cleaned up that dusty box so whomever it serves has a lovely library that respects the books and their readers.  

Not everyone supports the idea of free little libraries. 

Some dissenters feel they take away from services offered by the free public library system. Or are a harbinger of attempts to gentrify urban neighborhoods. Two librarians from Canada described these cute little birdhouse free libraries as “a highly visible form of self-gratification cleverly disguised as book aid.”  Most supported the idea of these as a resource or an enjoyable hobby or just another way to share a love of creative projects, good reads, and generosity.

I guess since I just outed my secret about tending to a little free library in a diverse neighborhood, I’m now engaged in a highly visible project of self-gratification. 

Yup. I’m unapologetic. I love books. I love little cute libraries. I love being a secret librarian. And I love my public library. 

I’ll skip the cute tiny libraries in affluent neighborhoods and stick to the two I’ve found that serve a more diverse economic population. I’ve got no regrets, even as I acknowledge my flagrant self-gratification as a book nerd do gooder. Imagining children, teens, or adults grabbing a good book warms my little librarian heart.

In the end, I don’t really care who takes my books, if they are returned, or where they travel. 

I just trust they will land in the perfect hands to be read at the perfect time. As long as they disappear and I’ve got (good) books to share, I’m hired. I’ll let you decide where you land in this (mild) controversy about cute mini houses with free books. Read all about it here.     

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Excess screen time for teens has detrimental effects. I bet you know that already. Especially with US teens averaging 7-8 hours/day. Ouch. University of Queensland researchers conducted a global study which found some benefits for teen screen time. In the first hour. Detrimental effects snuck in after 75 minutes for girls and 105 minutes for boys. Things like poor diet, obesity, depression, and decreased cognitive and physical abilities. The best combo? An hour of physical activity and no more than 2 hours screen time contributed to teens wellbeing. I bet those kids at the playing field who snag a good book are headed into the wellbeing category. For book nerds like me? Put down the book, get off that couch, and go take a walk!

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Come Home to your Cosmic Self

I know this photo. I recognize it from the inside out.

When I gather with others at Soul Sanctuary to sing the chants from the kundalini yogic tradition, something happens to me. My breathing and heart rate slow, along with my thoughts. My mood brightens as the world within and around me feels complete. Resting within my body, so comfortable within this peaceful sensation, I’ve come home to myself.

I know this photo. I witness this harmony on the faces of those around me.

Opening my eyes while chanting, I see only beauty as some sit in stillness and others sing. Relaxed bodies with beatific expressions translating the harmony of the cosmos. Candlelight softening the outlines in the room as an experience of floating in the heavens captures my attention, inviting my eyes to close. So I may float.

I know this photo. I hear it translated as each person shares their experience.

Another layer of restoration emerges as each participant shares a personal experience. How an insight shifted a view of self, life, situations, or the world. Or the contrast of how they felt before and after chanting. The simple to profound nature of these comments never fails to delight and inform all who are present.

One hour singing prayers of devotion in a candlelit salon activates a stillness so deep that wholeness is rediscovered.

This is a beautiful research study: each participant a subject in their own experimental design. It begins with noticing how you feel, what is on your mind (active in your life), and identifying your intent for the evening. It ends with a very real awareness that something has shifted in your body, emotions, cognitions, and outlook.

This isn’t a formal research project. We’ll leave that to the scientists.

The field of neurotheology studies the relationship between the brain and spiritual practices.

 

There is no requirement to follow a particular religion or spiritual belief system. It’s not that kind of exploration.

As researchers explore the effect of chanting upon the brain and nervous system, they suggest there are benefits to your wellbeing. As this field grows, I expect more findings and wider exploration.

Chanting has been found to effect the brain differently than prayer or meditation.

Some reported benefits include improvements in sleep, mood, blood pressure, and cognitive health. Reductions in symptoms of general stress, anxiety, and depression have been identified.

While it is encouraging that the study of chanting, prayer, or meditation is expanding, you can explore these benefits on your own.

Do your own research. Every brain, body, and life is different. Same for belief systems and preferences about how to connect with that which is meaningful. Yet, across this variety, the research suggests that when you chant, pray, or meditate, your brain, heart, and nervous system are positively affected.

How to proceed, then, with the idea of improvement through chanting or any spiritual/secular practice you choose?

Get curious. Try out different styles of chanting, mantra meditation, yoga, meditation, sound healing, or contemplation in nature. Discover what feels best for your body, mind, and mood. If something feels good, keep exploring. If it leaves you flat, let it go. No monks, fMRIs, or complex statistics required. You are in the N=1 research project with you as the only subject.

If you’re local to Soul Sanctuary and want to Chant in the Light Cathedrals, please join us.

We’ll be celebrating the light by chanting on November 17th and December 15th.

Sharing a practice with a group enhances the experience. It allows you to sink deeply within the activity of chanting until you become the energy of that sacred prayer. As this happens organically, you remember something at all levels of your being.

You belong to this cosmic harmony because you are the song of the universe.

If chanting isn’t for you, I hope you find that sweet spot that leaves you feeling as if that picture above captures your experience perfectly.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Can chanting to contribute to brain health and cognitive decline? Researchers Dharma Singh Kalsa and Andrew Newberg outlined a new concept in medicine called Spiritual Fitness in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease (2021). Suggesting the importance of incorporating practices which address stress reduction, basic wellbeing, and psycho/spiritual wellbeing to prevent Alzheimer’s disease. The authors report that the Kirtan Kriya (Kundalini yoga meditation involving chant and mudra)may have an effect on Alzheimer’s disease prevention as it’s been shown to mitigate effects chronic stress cognition, addresses memory loss, and supports spiritual and psychological wellbeing. Do your own research. Click here for instructions and search for a recording you can sing with.