Author: Kathy Milano

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The Trouble with Ruminating

Have you got a mind that likes to mull over things? 

You know that mind. It likes to chew on the problem and replay conversations. It activates the critical voice so you may think on all the ways you, them, or the situation isn’t so great. It goes on and on and on. Ad nauseam. 

This rumination launches you into a state of mind that’s really unhelpful.

Now you’re feeling crappy about yourself or less than enthusiastic about the situation you face. You slide easily down that slippery slope and judge others, feel frustrated, or drop into a more hopeless view of the future. It’s rare that your rumination leads you into a state of open curiosity or exhilarating joy as you face a challenging situation. More likely you’ll be drawing into that half glass empty mindset.

Rumination invites you to become more like Piglet or Eeyore than Tigger or Christopher Robin.

If you’re not a Winnie the Pooh aficionado, I’ll translate for you. The constant worrying of the mind leads you into anxiety or depression more than enthusiasm or calm wisdom. Think on that for a brief moment. Which approach to the complexity of living would you rather choose? [And if you missed the archetypal wisdom and deep solutions to living that Winnie the Pooh offers, you might want to dive back in with a curious mind.]

So your mind ruminates. And wanders into troubling places. Blinding you to higher solutions.

You’re not alone. It’s a human condition. Quite persistent and tricky. That’s why you may miss it, this ruminating trickster you call “thinking.” It seems the thing to do as you mull things over, vent to your friends, and analyze until you’re blue in the face (and in your mood).

So what’s a human ruminator to do to get out of this mess?

"Weed faster"

I love the analogy of the mind as a garden.

I’m a great mind gardener – weeding out the unhelpful junk and nourishing the seeds of beauty. I’m not so good at hands in the dirt gardening, although I’m happy to choose the plants. So someone with more talent and a love of gardening can plant them for me. 

Imagine your mind as a gateway into the creative soil of life.

That “stuff” back behind form which emerges into the material world as you think it and act it into being. You are gifted with fertile soil, rich with nutrients, and free of obstructions. So beautiful thoughts, words, deeds, and creations may be seeded and nurtured into blossoms. Lovely creations spilling out into the world as a delightful garden runs amok. Bringing forth a Tigger kind of joy and the Christoper Robin type of appreciation.

Take a look at your life. Are you living within such a beautiful garden?

Of course that’s a trick question. Deeply embedded within this mundane world is a beauty beyond imagining if you have eyes to see and a heart to guide your way. Yet, most humans are lost within the less than conscious habit of ruminating upon their current life. That’s not a criticism or reason for despair. Just a simple statement of what often happens within you. And me. And everyone.

Most mind gardens are filled with boulders, rocks, pebbles, and weeds galore.

It’s a daunting process to clear that soil even for the more advanced mental gardener. Yet, you can begin with a simple practice.

Notice the weed and pull it. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. 

Catching yourself mid-rumination is a strong invitation to stop, pull the weed, and seek out a blossom. When faced with a challenging situation, notice your personal thought about it. And watch for a bit. 

Most likely, your mind offers a lot of sentences strung together. One weed after another. Who thought weeds could be so captivating? Addictive even. Watch and listen to your thoughts, your voicing these thoughts, and listening to other’s thoughts spoken aloud.

Seems the human family is addicted to weeds.

Awareness leads to Choice leads to Change.

That’s a wise teaching I got from Christopher Robin in the form of my Dad. He taught this to the CEOs he guided and to me as a young college student. I never forgot it. 

Once you’ve witnessed enough of the mind’s rumination, you’re ready to make a choice. What kind of garden am I cultivating?

As soon as you notice that “weed” of a thought, pull it. And refocus on a “blossom.” Any blossom you choose.

It’s a simple practice that’s harder than it sounds. And well worth the effort to plant a beautiful garden for yourself and others. Remember that practice leads to mastery which leaves you with clarity, wisdom, and enthusiasm for the benefits of weeding. 

You may even toss out a few pebbles while you’re at it. 

Sometimes the boulders and deeply rooted weeds (generational and karmic trauma) require a bit more work. Especially the energetic interventions since these patterns are often embedded deeply within your field and unconscious. There are lots of techniques to help you clear your soil. I know a bunch and am happy to help you if that serves.

A lovely woman recently asked me what to do with the negative thoughts running through her mind. I guess you can imagine my response. 

“Weed faster.”

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Want to enhance your weeding practice?  Spend some moments HeartBreathing and centering within your cohesive heartspace. [Check out my free Self Soothe Strategy if this is a new concept for you. It’s on my home page.] When you’ve settled into a calm state, it’s easier to be a witness to the thoughts roaming through your mind garden. You can just watch them and label them a weed or blossom. Play with it a bit. Imagine pulling the weeds and smelling the blossoms. Offer a bouquet of beautiful blossoms to someone close to you. Watch your weed pile grown. It’s a simple imaginative process that enhances your practice. AND it counts as “weeding time.” The mind is a powerful garden. Treat it as such.

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Remember This: You’re Already Perfect

You’ve grown up human, so I guess your mind is littered with ideas that aren’t so helpful.

You know the kind of trash talk you offer yourself (or believe when others offer it to you). How you’re not good enough or there is something inherently wrong with you. Or you how can’t figure your way out of the current (repeated) struggle in life. All those ways you feel like a fraud or must hide your shameful imperfections from the world.

Including that great big failure zone that stretches backward and projects forward in time. And all the ways you haven’t achieved your dreams, disappointed yourself and others, or sabotaged your happiness and success.

What if that wasn’t the real story?

Sure, it’s the story you, like most people, tell themselves. And share with others if those others are trustworthy enough to hear about your private pain. The story of your imperfections, failures, and disappointments. I know these stories. I view them in my mind, hear them in my friends and clients, and witness them in society’s stories (fictional and real). 

It’s a shared human story. While the details may vary, the themes remain the same. 

Innocently, you’ve damned yourself for being human. 

Ouch. Carrying that heavy story around gets tiring. 

And it slows you down, making you less vibrant, intelligent, and joyful. It’s a little crazy really that we’re all letting the existence of human frailty, which everyone experiences, turn into a story of personal imperfection. 

Especially ’cause it’s bullshit.

Give me 6 minutes and I'll help you remember how amazingly beautiful you already are.

I was sitting in a big comfy chair in Barnes and Noble minding my business when a series of questions arrived in my head with the instruction, “Write these down.”

I had extensive training as a good little student, so I wrote them down. Looked at them, shrugged, and put them away in my briefcase. I wasn’t even that curious – maybe because I was at a good part in my book. 

Weeks later, now settled in the cafe at Barnes and Noble, that same voice in my head said, “Get out the questions.”

So I did. Reading them again, I got curious. That must’ve been the “key” as words began spilling through my mind. I wrote as fast as I could until everything stopped. As I read through everything, I heard the third instruction, “Record this.” So I did. 

Already Perfect is a reminder that you don’t have to buy into the inaccurate depiction of yourself as less than. 

The audio recording (available for download on the Already Perfect CD) helps you reset your perspective. The video version reminds you that you aren’t alone in the flawed idea that vulnerability equals imperfection. In 6 minutes, you elevate your understanding of what “perfection” means here. Hint: “it’s not the cultural idea of perfection you now hold for yourself.” 

Take 6 minutes and watch this video. Maybe watch it again so it sinks in.

If you know anyone else who suffers from the confusion that human frailty is something to transform into that cultural idea of perfection, share the video with them. 

Mystics and children (who are well treated) already know this truth. You, my friend, at the core of your beautiful, personal being are Already Perfect. 

When you know this to be true, it is true. And if it’s true for you, then it’s true for them. And so on. And so on.

When you celebrate the perfection of your essence, even as you travel the messy, imperfect path of growing up human, you help everyone remember.

Watch the video here.

I hope you see your own beauty here. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are you a conscious shopper? With so much information available on the web these days, it becomes easier to research your products before you purchase. While some companies report how much they give back to local communities or donate (often a requirement of doing business in a certain location), many businesses take it a step further. Innovative technology, sustainable materials, reducing harmful emissions, caring well for workers, repurposed materials. It makes good sense for the planet and also good cents for the company. There are plenty of ways to win. It takes time to become an educated consumer and investor. Explore one thing at a time and make a change for good. Your good. Pachamama’s good. Our shared future kinda good. 

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Prayers for Pachamama

I’ve been spending a lot of time in the ocean recently.

That’s something for someone who doesn’t like to go in past her knees. Unless it’s a warm sunny beach in Florida or the Caribbean, then I’m all in. At least until I cool off, then I’m back to letting the sun warm me up.

Seems that’s been a big problem for years. That beautiful sun warming up our planet.

As you well know, it’s heating up the oceans. Melting the ice caps at an alarming rate. Shrinking the home of the polar bears and penguins. As these oceans heat up and rise up, they’re disrupting life in and out of the water. Marine heat waves, coral bleaching, drowning wetlands, and changes in weather.

The scientific findings across the board are hard to look at, let alone digest.

The impact of changing weather, reduced food sources, increased drought conditions, loss of species, and more severe storms are affecting all people and places on this beautiful planet. No place is untouched, especially in a large ecosystem that we call Earth. 



Where everything is connected in a complex, intelligent dance.

While some deny climate change, others despair, and many hide their heads in the sand, people around the globe are seeking creative solutions to not only correct the damage, but to enhance life. Now and in the future.

These are the scientists, adolescents, leaders of industry, and the man living down the street from you. All doing their part to creatively lessen the damage and restore the potential of a healthy ecosystem.

Melting ice caps make my eyes water. Beached whales, chemical laden food, and mistreated children do the same.

A future with further disruption to our fragile ecosystem has me wondering what else I may do to make a difference. I’ve been examining my daily habits, material usage, chosen charities, ethical purchasing, garden planting, and humanitarian pursuits.

My eyes are still watering and I want to offer more. But, where do I place my attention, talent, and love?

When I asked this question, I was reminded of the Andean wisdom tradition (Peru) which holds 3 foundational guides of living.

First, you consider the impact of your actions on all living creatures and the planet. Known as Ayni or reciprocity, you recognize that the way you live impacts your community, the global family, Earth (Pachamama), and future generations.

Second, the Beauty Way calls you to seek and see the beauty in all people, all beings, and all situations. To create beauty as you move through your moments.

Third, Dreaming the World into Being is a co-creative process. Aligning with the energy of creation, outside of time and in sync with the Soul, you open to what wishes to be dreamed through you.

Ayni. Beauty. Dreaming a new world into being.

The art of dreaming beauty goes beyond meeting your own needs and wants. It dives within the mystical energy to reveal what may be and invites you hold that dream strongly. To be open to instruction about how to live, love, and serve.

With this reminder, I recognized something I could do without scientific knowledge, policy making power, or billions of bucks.

I began dreaming of a future with pristine oceans, bountiful gardens, and healthy children.

I traveled far into the future as you know it. 7 generations and then 49 generations forward.

Seeking the energy of waters abundant with healthy marine life and absent of plastics and harmful chemicals. I found the abundant gardens overflowing with healthy food and equitable access. I witnessed children who were physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy.

I found a culture of conscious interdependence with a focus upon committed stewardship of Pachamama and her creatures, love for humanity, and abundant sharing of resources.

A seeming Eden or a fairy tale where humans didn’t destroy one another and their environment. I wondered what to do with these visions and this energy of a distant future. Asking the question, I got my answer.

“Paint this future into the now.” And so I did, birthing the “Prayers for Pachamama” series of original paintings.

All Prayers for Pachamama paintings are one of a kind and infused with the energy of hope, optimism, and healing.

This dream seemed to focus in three areas, so I created 3 separate series of paintings to honor these intentions.

“Precious Petals” paintings dream of healthy children who are cherished, heathy, and empowered to thrive. “Pristine Oceans” paintings celebrate unpolluted waters with abundant marine life and perfect temperatures. “Blooming Gardens” paintings envision a balanced ecosystem, abundant food and wildlife, and plenty of beauty.

When I paint, I witness the visions that flow through my inner sight as I feel the joy of living in a world where our collective healing has already taken hold.

To say this is a euphoric process of artistic creation would be an understatement.
It’s a dance party of sound, prayer, color, movement, and happiness.

With texture and depth, the richness of this dreaming comes to life on a canvas. Each painting radiates energy into your present reality as if seeding a map for you to awaken the next steps toward healing yourself, your great grandchildren, and our lovely Earth. They’re more than just a pretty painting. This energy has something to say to you.

Hang a painting in your space and expect to get some “instructions” on how to be a beautiful steward for the children, gardens, and planet.

I hope you enjoy the painting featured above. It’s called “Rising Ocean” and it represents the emergence of healthy oceans. I’ll be posting more photos soon or you can always stop into Soul Sanctuary to take a peek.

If I create a painting just for you, I’ll include your family and future generations into the creation process. Yum.

However you dream or take tiny big actions to support Pachamama, I’m sure we’ll all be feeling your gifts. It takes more than a village. It takes a global family to make change of this magnitude.

I’m glad we’re related

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are you a conscious shopper? With so much information available on the web these days, it becomes easier to research your products before you purchase. While some companies report how much they give back to local communities or donate (often a requirement of doing business in a certain location), many businesses take it a step further. Innovative technology, sustainable materials, reducing harmful emissions, caring well for workers, repurposed materials. It makes good sense for the planet and also good cents for the company. There are plenty of ways to win. It takes time to become an educated consumer and investor. Explore one thing at a time and make a change for good. Your good. Pachamama’s good. Our shared future kinda good. 

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Light Begets Light

Just a quick LOVE note after a day of connecting at the Holistic Health and Healing Expo.

I met so many wonderful new and already known people on Sunday. It was a bit of a whirlwind with lots of laughter, hugs, mini catch ups, and invitations. I feel like my Sacred Art was blessed by the positive energy of the event. Thanks so much for the quick chat. If I missed you or you weren’t there, I hope for that quick chat or more in the future. (Hit me up with an email just to say hello).

My takeaway? It’s good to be in the light.

Surrounded by those seeking to allow their Soulful radiance to emerge. Through the challenges of living human which, as you know, dims the light and dampens the joy. It takes a toll on the physical, mental, and emotional bodies in so many ways. Kudos to Natural Awakenings for creating a space with so many different options for healing all levels. 

That’s the beauty of a gathering of light seekers – everyone shines brighter as a result of coming together.  

The world has always needed people filled with hope, optimism, courage, and vision. AND the capacity to transform the systems that aren’t enlightened into systems that are on purpose to live in harmony in a way that benefits all beings and the planet.  

It seems we’re all a little brighter as a result of hanging out with other beautiful Souls.

I’m reflecting on all of the places and people which brighten my resolve to become a better human. I believe your growth is enhanced when you get conscious about who you are hanging with, what you are doing together, and what emerges for the benefit of others.

Light begets light. Love begets Love.

While this may be obvious during all of your spiritual or humanistic explorations, I’m also interested in the mundane encounters. Where normal life happens without the mention of spiritual evolution, transforming through challenge, or waking the heck up. Like my love chat with my dog this morning, my text exchange with the ladies in my extended family, and my conversation with a business colleague yesterday. 

Love is everywhere present.

In you. In them. And especially in times of conflict, inner grumpiness, and feeling lost.

I like to play that game of “Seek and Find” just like I did with my friends in the neighborhood.

I usually start with myself and seek to find some light even in the midst of any dimness or disappointment in the moment. I get my full game on especially when I’m made uncomfortable by another person, group belief, or situation in the world.

You can be enthusiastic when dropped into the dark, your “shadow” included! I saw proof of that when the lights went out at the expo.

In the midst of an Angel session, the place went dark. (That’s funny timing and the Angels are now cracking up. So, I wonder who orchestrated that tiny drama.) As the electric light disappeared, all exhibitors and attendees seemed to joyfully yell “Whoaaa!” as they laughed. And laughed.

When the lights returned (quickly), there was applause, excited chatter, and more laughter.

Let there be light. And I hope you gleefully yell "Whoaaaa!" next time you drop into your darkness. 

You can grab these [really] helpful Freebies if you want to return to balance quickly when your light dims.

Everything is available for your choosing on my Free Resources page. 

Whoa! YES, I want those Freebies! I’m clicking now!

My intent is that you have the knowledge and skills to work with your own light body, stress response system, and mindset. Without needing anyone to guide you. Whenever you need it. 

The Self Soothe Strategy and The Light Globe Meditation harmonize your LightBody.

As in the Light of your biofield or aura and the Light of your energy system. All 72,000 light pathways (nadis, meridians), chakras, and particle waves within your whole being. Your LightBody also includes the physical body you see and feel. So, let’s get that organized (and reorganized) with the power of a coherent heart rhythm which influences changes in your chemistry, light structures, neural pathways, and communication within all systems.

The proof is in the pudding. (Old wisdom … to test it, you taste it).

So, download The Self Soothe Strategy PlayBook AND read it. Listen to the accompanying mp3 meditation a few times. Then, it’s all you. Drop in anytime you want, without the recording, and receive the benefits.  Same with the Light Globe meditation. Give a few listens and then do it on your own. 

You wouldn’t head out into the world without a shower, brushing your teeth, or wearing clothes, now would you?

Taking care of your energy body is essential if you want to feel good, heal, grow, shine bright, and all that good stuff.

If you’re into Angels and want to start or strengthen your relationship with them, check out my freebie Angelic Reminders.

It’s a year long “Nugget Course.” I’m really into learning and practicing “nugget style.” [You already know that if you’re in my classes, retreats, or private sessions. Nuggets are my jam.]. You’ll get a mini lesson in one paragraph and a tiny prayer every week for one year.

Check in, play with the suggestion, and you’ll be hanging out with more Angels than you can currently imagine. Have fun with that.

And one more time …..
Whoa! YES, I want those Freebies! I’m clicking now!

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Social Connectedness is really important.  Both like minded folks and people that think and live differently from you empower you to feel a part of the human family. You, and the entire world, learned a lot during the isolation of quarantine during the worldwide pandemic. Yet, everyone may experience social isolation, loneliness, or less than fulfilling connections with others. Whether you listen to podcasts or read articles, head over to the Greater Good Science Center at Cal Berkley. They offer a lot of research, great tips, and compassionate understanding of the challenges of living human. Here’s a podcast about Social Connection if you’re interested. Link takes you to GGSC website.

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Courage at Sea. A Tiny Drama.

When I was invited to join my husband for his business trip to Hawaii, I got busy planning.

We could visit some of our favorite West Coast people, pay our respects at the Pearl Harbor Memorial, explore the natural beauty of the island, and go find us some wild dolphins to play with. While all of these plans were lovely, it was the bucket list wild dolphin swim that made my heart beat faster.

Truth be told, I had visions of dolphins swimming in a circle around me in warm Caribbean water.

Maybe popping in for a little nudge or kiss on the cheek. So when I read the fine print regulations requiring humans to keep their distance from marine life, my fantasy deflated a tiny bit. Yet, my heart swelled with the wisdom of allowing dolphins their space.

I’ve learned second hand through my Marine Scientist offspring how close human interactions and boats don’t bode well for marine mammals.

So, I was cool with the distance rule. Trusting every whale, dolphin, turtle, and surprise marine guest would find their way to our mutual encounter. Arriving in Oahu, I heard snippets of news about the huge waves on the North Shore that were disrupting the international surfing competition. While fascinating, it had nothing to do with me given that I’d never go near a big wave, let alone balance on a surfboard.

My healthy respect (fear) of this vast ocean jazzed my nervous system just watching tv coverage of tiny humans standing on tiny boards on tremendously huge mountains of water.

Breathing deeply, I remembered that I booked us a sweet frolic with the dolphins on the East side of the island, far from the wild North. However, I forgot Oahu was an island, not a large continent. Turns out high winds and waves in one area actually impact other areas. Weather. Go figure. Given my propensity for sea sickness, I prepared well with my pre-adventure dose of Bonine and a night of dreaming about mild waves and dolphin kisses.

That dream crashed when the captain called to cancel our journey due to, get this, high waves.

If the boat couldn’t safely make it out of the harbor and the waves were too high for snorkeling, the trip was cancelled. Okay, bummer, but safety first. Especially ‘cause I’m not a water baby and rough seas are not my jam. Problem was I couldn’t reschedule because other Bonine laced tourists were gonna swim with my dolphins. Flexibly shifting plans, I booked another naturalist tour on our last full day.

Trusting we’d have time for some splashing in the dolphin pool before returning to see Hamilton in Honolulu.

Racing toward the open sea offered a new perspective of beautiful mountains, undeveloped valleys, beaches and cliffs. This was the magnificent Hawaii I had longed for and it was thrilling to witness. My Bonine filled system protected me from feeling sea sick, so I felt free, alive, and enthusiastic. I called out to the dolphins with my grateful heart, letting them know that Kathy Milano and a few friends had come to play.

And here came the pod of spotted dolphins, joyfully answering that call.

Mothers and calves, singles and couples, they swam with us through this vast fluid playground. I’d like to say we were surrounded by 50 dolphins, but I know things get exaggerated in the wonder of the moment. So, most likely, there were 45. No shit. The largest pod I’ve ever had the privilege of zooming around with.

They weren’t paying attention to that 50 yard distance rule and I wasn’t complaining.

Our tiny group of tourists and marine biologist guides were one big body of delight. Even that really sea sick dude who was wearing my acupressure bands was grinning like a maniac.

It seemed like forever that we all played, marveled, and witnessed a few hot shot leaping dolphins.

The captain stopped the boat, and in silent wonder, we surveyed the pod who stayed with us. It was a moving adventure. There was nothing on my mind and plenty of gratitude in my body.

The biologist had an announcement.

“If you want to swim with these dolphins, now is your chance.”

I was about to jump up and shout “Oh Yeah!” like a crazy wild dolphin freak, but she continued her spiel.

“There are two things you need to know. First, we are in a thousand feet of water.” No worries there, ‘cause I had no plans to touch the bottom.

“Second,” she said in a really solemn voice, “in this deep water there is always the danger of sharks.”

Dun dun. Dunn dunn. Dunnnn duuuun. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome that mythical beast of a party pooper: Jaws.

My whole body flooded with cortisol. I immediately flashed back to 1975 and the Jersey shore with friends. We scared ourselves silly with that movie and I’ve been a chicken shit in the ocean ever since. It’s normally not a problem since I’m not a water baby and rarely go in the ocean. Unless I’m in the Caribbean.

You could’ve heard a pin drop amidst that pod of frolicking dolphins.

Not one person moved a muscle. So, I apparently wasn’t alone. I looked at the other gung ho snorkelers and that 6 foot dude was shaking his head no. My stomach sank as if some part of me had made a clear decision that there was no way I was swimming with sharks that day. My dream was mid crash when her solemn voice broke in with a lilt, “But, if it’s on your bucket list, now is your chance.”

I be a brave, brave girl. I stood up and in a teeny tiny voice asked three questions.

“How long before you spot those tourist eating sharks? How long do you think we have to make it back to the boat?” and “Will you come in with me?” With a few directions about how not to flail about in the water, move slowly toward the boat if I heard the captain call “Jaws Approaching!” and confirmation that I’d have a chaperone, I turned to get my mask and snorkel.

Well, look who else was brave. My husband was nodding and ready to go even though he hated to snorkel.

Only two (non)seafaring adventurers prepared for entry. Here’s the thing with getting in the water with 45 spotted dolphins who decided to follow the distance rule while I battled my terror of Jaws. This mythic beast and my active imagination of my demise put a damper on my experience. Can’t lie about that.

I was so busy monitoring the ocean, mastering my dead lady float, breathing like Darth Vader, and listening for a warning, that I almost forgot to check out my dream dates.

I’m good at managing stress and I do be brave, so I spent as much time as I could redirecting my focus to the dozens of small dolphins swimming by us. It was magical with a tiny dose of fear. The bummer about fear dampening down my brain’s frontal lobe function, thus diminishing my higher order critical thinking and problem solving, was that I missed two simple facts.

Jaws was a movie. And I had a one in 5 million chance of being bitten by a shark.

I wish that biologist had used her encouraging, delighted voice while throwing pixie dust and adding these fun facts to her announcement. Still, I swam with lots of wild dolphins and made it out alive. We both did. I learned a lot about bucket lists, flexible dreaming, old fears with big jaws, and that whales spend a lot of time underwater between sightings.

I ended up taking a small nap during Hamilton.

Nothing dramatic, just resetting my system so I could delight in my next, very safe landlocked Hawaiian adventure.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Marine Mammals are swimming in way too much plastic, all of which is placed there by humans. Ouch. That hurts your dolphin loving heart. The good news is that many organizations are committed to improving the health of the ocean by removing plastic, interrupting plastic pollution before it arrives, and raising awareness. A quick swim in Google will reveal eco-friendly gifts or ethical organizations devoted to improving life for our marine friends. You can donate, use less plastic, pick up trash (it flows downstream). volunteer, and educate yourself about the negative human impact on the ocean. And the creative solutions addressing it all. Your tiny actions can make huge waves toward safer marine habitats. All without getting wet. 

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Broken Hearts and Unlikely Friends

The world of sorrow has a tendency to rush into your awareness.

Bombarding your precious heart with news of violence, injustice, scarcity, and fearful stories about the “other” or the stability of “your” future. Shaking your sense of safety and robbing you of peace.

It’s not your fault if you shake, shudder, and fall down.

The media is designed to weaken your foundational awareness that you are lovable and capable. That it is safe to listen to your own wise voice, even if you have to search for it. The world holds so much noise, all the time, that it has you listening outward instead of inward.

Allowing a tiny breeze of news to knock over your redwood nature.

So your heart shrinks a few sizes as you hunker into the shadowy thoughts about how you aren’t enough or there isn’t enough time, money, kindness, or goodness. Or your ferocious heart breaks open as anger rages through your body and grief cries rivers down your face. Because people hurt each other so cruelly and unjustly.

As if they’ve forgotten they are part of the same family even through they look different.

Or live differently. Shit. It’s enough to make you want to head back to bed or stick your head in a fantasy world. But, here’s the thing with toppled redwoods. They make space for the light to shine in and a new breeze to whisper of some other story.

Just when you’re ready to despair about the state of the world and drown your intelligence on Instagram, you spot a reel with a puppy riding on a rooster’s back.

Calmly regal as if he is the regent of the peace parade. Allowing a belly laugh so loud that tears fall out of your eyes and water your stingy heart. You easily imagine how the world would be in a lot better shape if that puppy rooster duo would make the rounds of every war zone, nursing home, inner city, and traffic jam.

Well, why wouldn’t the wisdom of a joyful heart and beauty of unlikely friends cloak itself in every medium?

The world of wonder has a tendency to rush into your awareness.

Seek and you shall find. Everything is available for discovery. Yet, remember this. Don’t spend too much time seeking those posts of wisdom or laugh out loud reels ‘cause the din of the world’s idea of news or entertainment can drown out what is most important.

Your inner voice. Whispering an invitation to shut it all down.

To go within and restore your bruised, broken heart.

Allowing your body to rest and your mind to reorient to your own priorities for living. Not those offered by a well meaning or nefarious world of influence and influencers. Shifting your focus away from your own mind stories that drown you in despair or discomfort to the small, shining treasures of the moment. It is here that you remember something essential.

You, like the world, are filled with good intentions, wonder, and a medicinal dose of kindness.

Recognizing this allows the heart to open and the lungs to breathe. Inviting you to reflect upon those inner values and visions which guide your actions in the outer world. Ah, yes. Here lies your own truth, sturdy in the assault of any fake news or sudden storm.

This is the path inward to the wise heart which knows when to open and when to close.

This inner guide, sturdy as a redwood, seeded and nurtured by your source, knows when to retreat, repair, and regenerate. And when to open, share loving kindness, and sturdy peace no matter what the world is offering.

There are two approaches to this natural opening and closing of the heart. One Wise. One Reckless.

The surprising thing about the heart is that, like the puppy and rooster, it gets along with this disturbing world of wonders. Within you lies the intelligence to witness the balance and goodness in all things bright and dark. The peaceful, sturdy heart witnesses without judgment and waits for the inner whisper which guides inspired action.

There is a time to pop on the rooster’s back and head out for a look see. A time to topple and rest, receiving help as it arrives. And a time to act with an open, compassionate heart, clear in the privilege of being a part of this human dance. Messy that it may be.

I’m a big fan of the sturdy redwood version of your heart system.

I know there are many ways in to that great peace which influences your mind, body, energy, and response to your inner and outer worlds. My absolute favorite way to soothe my heart open involves the practices from Heart Assisted Therapy.

If you haven’t downloaded my Self Soothe Strategy Playbook and Guided Meditation, I wonder why.

That’s available with some other goodies on my Free Resources page.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Here’s a simple heart opening practice. Whenever you feel a contraction of your heart, mood, or thinking, take a breath. And another. And another. Take 3 breaths. If possible, pause while you do this. If you’re driving, you can breathe deeply. If you are in a meeting, or running one, you can pause and breathe. Invite those around you to do the same. You’re not trying to change anything. You are breathing consciously 3 times. Then look around and spot 3 things that represent beauty, appreciation, and creativity. You can do this as you present, drive, and discuss any topic. If your face is in a screen, take a brief break. Finish with 3 breaths and with each one, name your discovery. Beauty. Appreciation. Creativity. Practice this for calming the body-mind and opening the heart. 

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Girl, Stop Complaining!

I came home from a super long day hungry and jet lagged, ready to drop my bags and dig into dinner.

There was only one problem. The kitchen was empty, as was the fridge. Having recently travelled, I only purchased a few things when we returned home and they were long gone. Scanning the freezer and cupboard for something edible, I unenthusiastically settled for pasta puttanesca.

Only to learn I had no artichoke hearts.

I apparently entered a downward slide as I complained about how my husband cooked the capellini, bitched about the runny sauce, and commented on a few other things that weren’t to my liking.

“What’s gotten into you? You’ve done nothing but complain since you came in.”

Ouch. So true. I was complaining up a storm. That observation was enough to take the wind out of those sails. First up, acknowledge and apologize for my behavior. Second, take a mini time out and change into comfy clothes. Third, play a game and listen to music while we ate.

Harmony restored, I realized I’d been complaining more than usual all day.

A slow recovery from a cold and launching into a long vacation with multiple time zones had apparently taken a bit more out of me than I realized. Full of wonderful and mediocre experiences, I had very little downtime to relax or process my journeys before diving back into work, errands, and schedule.

Mystery solved. Yet, I didn’t want that complaining habit to sneak back in next time I was tired, hungry, and over scheduled.

I tracked back over my grumpy day and realized I had been using strategies to offset my complaining. Each was beneficial in the moment, but I missed the need to increase my vigilance about how I was feeling. Like many people, my tendency to complain increases when I am uncomfortable or life has not met my expectations (as if it should).

These 3 Strategies, consciously applied, help me quit my bitchin’ and grow my gratitude.

Engaging The Beauty Way

I overslept that morning, making me late for an early appointment. Rushing to pack my lunch, I knew I was compromising my hair stylist by being late as her first customer. It didn’t feel great. Driving through a drizzle on a grey, chilly New Jersey day, I looked at the dreary woods and my mood dipped again. Yet, I wasn’t willing to be as miserable as the weather appeared, so I launched my Beauty Way practice.

The Beauty Way is both a Path and a Practice in the indigenous energy medicine of the Andes in Peru.

Like many earth based traditions, there is a focus upon creating beauty and harmony with every thought, word, and deed. To see the harmonizing energy that beauty reveals in others and your environment. And to bring beauty to every encounter. I was still driving in the drizzle on my street when I began speaking out loud to anchor my attention into this intent of Beauty.

“May I see the beauty of the rain nourishing the Earth, filling the waters, and feeding the creatures.

May I witness the intelligence of nature as she rests during the Winter season, nourishing her roots and seeds, in preparation for the reemergence of green life in the Spring. May I dwell in gratitude for the ease of driving in my beautiful car, upon these well maintained roads, through this town, passing others who are busy in the action of living. May I see the beauty within every person I meet today as I witness their special gifts, needs, and circumstances. May my presence be a blessing in any way that serves the greater good. May I be reminded throughout this day that harmony is the underlying principle of life and that I can join that harmony anytime I choose.”

The Beauty Way guided me into an appreciative customer who was only 4 minutes late.

I’d like to say it lasted all day, but I forgot the “practice” of the Beauty Way when I reached for my purse. Enter strategy #2.

Shifting Crappy Complaints into Glowing Gratitude

Parking the car, I discovered my water had spilled out from my purse onto my front seat. I bet you can imagine my response, and it wasn’t beautiful. So much for my lovely presence improving the greater good.

Since I was already primed to avoid complaining, I quickly switched strategies.

Again, I spoke aloud so my mind would stay on track as I launched into gratitude. I honestly spewed out my gratitude that my cup was only half filled. And that it was hanging out of my purse so the water landed on my front seat, only soaking the two papers sitting there. My computer was protected (angels singing here) as the case was water resistant. I threw my (very important) papers on the floor with appreciation for those rubber mats. And my husband who put them there.

With a deep breath, a grateful heart, I launched myself into the salon filled with “beauty makers” and settled in to a chair to be waited upon.

That worked until my gal asked how my vacation to Hawaii was. Oh Lordy. Paradise was a bit dicey, so how to respond? My inner tendency was to name what was disappointing or what went wrong. I used a bit of humor to slide over that part. And then launched my next anti-complaint strategy.

Stringing Pearls

During seven days in (very busy, crazy crowded) Waikiki, I experienced so many enjoyable moments. I shifted through the aspects of the trip that were unpleasant, challenging, and disappointing. Diving for pearls, I spoke of the lovely weather and changing landscape as we drove around the island. The courage of surfers in massive waves and the beauty of the mountains seen from a boat. Witnessing dolphins, whales, and turtles in the ocean with a sense of wonder. The friendship and laughter with my husband’s work mates. The generosity of his company and celebration of their success. The somber visit to Pearl Harbor and gratitude we live in peace.

It was a long necklace filled with tiny and big moments.

When you seek the pearl, or beautiful moments, of any experience, you have the opportunity to revisit the good. And realize how good it is. This strategy overrides a cognitive function that often diminishes the positive. This negativity bias is a cognitive bias that results in the adverse experiences having a more significant impact on your psychological state than the positive events you experience. Even when the positive outweighs the negative, the yuck factor has a way of taking center stage.

Since you learn more easily from negative information than positive, the negativity bias serves as a survival strategy.

Inviting you to remember where all the tigers and pirates are so you can stay away from them next time. Trouble is, the negative experience is rarely a threat to survival. Mostly, as in this case, it is a challenge or disappointment that is easily managed.

All said and done, my day of complaining came to an end. It took 3 strategies and lots of refocusing to guide me into gratitude for the beauty of my pearl necklace.

It also helped me refocus on how I choose to be in the world, how to return to balance when I’m off kilter, and how to give people who tilt lots of kindness and space.

Been there, done that. And 1-2-3, I know how to get out of that complaining rut.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Seniors are notorious for complaining. Seniors in college about keeping up with coursework and finding work. Retired seniors complain about illness, loneliness, and being put out to pasture. New initiatives are now building senior living on or near college campuses. Offering the opportunity for retired folk to mentor, tutor, and cheer students on. Encouraging the students to share technological skills, engage in meaningful conversations, and share a class. It’s an innovative idea that isn’t cheap, nor common, but it’s a beginning to invigorate intergenerational resources (and tone down that habit of complaining.) Read more here.

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Wanderlust. A Traveling Dream.

I had a dream. To be clear, it was a personal dream.

It was January, 2020 and as I visioned my new dreams for the year, I felt a longing to travel arise within me. To see this beautiful world. To visit my favorite people and make new friends. It wasn’t just a vacation or two kind of dreaming. It was bigger than that. I was gonna learn how to travel a lot and build my current and new work into my trips. I was excited and raring to go.

Enter the pandemic.

With a nod toward my dreaming, I put it on a shelf and pivoted. I shopped for those who couldn’t go out. I cared for those who were sick. I spent time alone in Soul Sanctuary as I brought my therapy and classes online. I created a new website. I played a lot of board games, took drives with my daughter, and ZOOMed my friends and family.

I did what everyone else did. Grateful to be healthy and happy to be nourished at home.

Somewhere in the midst of 2022, I recalled that dream. And realized how all that pivoting allowed me the freedom now to launch myself and my computer across the friendly skies. Inadvertently I had been taking Tiny Actions toward this dream of expanding my horizons without even realizing it.

Such is the beauty and power of the Reticular Activating System. That google like part of your brain that works 24/7 on your visions and clear goals.

Hallelujah. I grabbed my computer and headed to Florida to see my kid.

In July. That’s funny. I went from one heat wave to another. As any parent knows, if your kid invites you to visit, you jump on the chance. Packing my sunscreen, beach clothes, and computer, I launched my year of exploring how to work while traveling.

I failed miserably at the work part and had a blast on the beach.

I learned it helps if you schedule something before you leave. In my subsequent trips to the Redwoods in California, Christmas in Florida, and a long jaunt to California and Hawaii, I’ve learned a lot about balancing this dream. Writing on long plane rides, mornings of scheduled time with lovely ladies, and on the go managing of business details seems to work for me. 

I think I’ve come up with a new formula.

Work hard while at home and work lightly while traveling.

Leaving time for relaxation, meaningful visits with new and old friends, time in nature, and exploration of new places. Trying to fit in too much just leaves me a bit unbalanced, which defeats the whole point of leaving home.

My most important discovery is how my wanderlust has been fully awakened.

I met a woman on a deserted beach in Northern California. She shared some of her travels through the 23 countries she had visited. I left that conversation with a longing to see this beautiful world and a feeling that I’ve missed that boat.

Talking with my husband, I recounted my worldly journeys through the years and discovered I had visited 17 countries. So maybe I’ve missed nothing even while my longing strengthens.

I’m back to dreaming about traveling again. My eagerness is balanced with a healthy dose of experience about how best to prepare, when to schedule work, my ideal travel pace, where to save or splurge, and how to become really flexible with expectation.

Oh yeah. And my preference for comfort.

Having been bumped up to business class a few times, I had no argument when my husband facilitated his own bump on the long flights to and from California.

I’m practicing my flexibility even now as I paused writing this blog to be served lunch. I just finished my lasagne, salad, and ice cream sundae. Much better than pretzels and water in coach. And space. I love the space offered by fewer people and quieter locales.

Crowded cities, traffic, beaches, and restaurants aren’t my idea of paradise.

Learning what makes the experience worthwhile is essential. I’m taking good notes this year of “practice traveling.” So I know when to work or not work. How to play slow or fast. And how to pack light. Well, that’s a work in progress, one which I hope to master very soon.

I’m ready to dream again this week in my Sacred Intent Visioning Retreat on Saturday.

I feel like my travel dream is launched and that research will continue naturally. My current longing for simplicity seems at odds with the wanderlust on steroids feeling I’ve got. Yet, I know my Soul is speaking to me and I’m looking forward to listening deeply.

My Soul has a dream. It’s a personal dream. And a dream for humanity.

I don’t understand how my little self and my small dreams fit into the larger picture. This much I know for sure: I don’t have to understand anything. Just drop within the stillness of my being and listen deeply. And walk through my moments with relaxed alertness so that I may find the clues which mark the perfect path.

I look forward to being home. Seeing my dog. Returning to Soul Sanctuary. And connecting meaningfully with the people and places in my own backyard.

I haven’t missed anything. And likely won’t miss traveling when I’m experiencing the joy of connection and purpose while at home. That’s another thing I learned. I’m not missing anything, even as I discover the worlds I never knew existed.

Wherever I go, there I am.

That’s a work in progress as well. To let the planning, dreaming, and moving happen organically while staying firmly grounded in the present moment. Full, complete, and at peace.

I’m getting a few hints about this budding dream of simplicity as I write. 

About the nature of living in gratitude for what (who) is here, curious about what else is possible, and being open to a whole new (unknown) adventure. I’m going to read my book now (which means I’ll soon be napping), while I let this seed of a Soul Dream root deeply within my being.

I was just served my water and pretzels.

Seems there is goodness offered wherever I sit. I’ll reexamine my previous dismissal of this gift with an open, appreciative heart. And since I’m so full, I’ll pass them onto my husband.

If I can find him in this roomy cabin in the clouds.

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Are you a sensation seeker or an experience seeker? The former love adventure travel, jumping out of airplanes and eating crispy critters considered a delicacy in some cultures. While high risk, adrenaline adventures aren’t for everyone, they offer you a few valuable lessons. Go with the flow is more than a chirpy saying. It’s an entry into a flow state in which you are in sync with your experience, the environment, and others. Experiencing awe is another hallmark of the thrill seeker. These are two components to cultivate if you wish to flourish in life, rather than settle for surviving. You may want to bypass the cliff diving, but still have a strong inner desire to seek new experiences. Being flexible with expectations, going with the flow, and surrendering to awe are guidelines for all adventurers in this journey of life.

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Love. Appreciation. Wonder.

Love

This is the energy back behind all form. You. Your family and friends. Loved ones who sing with the Angels. Santa. And every gift, holiday light, and tension you experience. It’s your nature. 

Let your Love glow.   

Love freely even when with people or in situations that make you crazy. We’re all crazy. Love the crazy. Whatever you’re doing, sprinkle it with love. If it’s your nature, it’s a natural impulse. Seek it and share it. 

Appreciation

My heart broke open this morning. Appreciating the fullness of life I was experiencing. The sweetness and the profound sorrow. The connections and the desire to reconnect. The hustle bustle and the stillness. It’s all in there. Life amazes me and I dissolve in appreciation, as long as I’m moving slowly enough to notice.

Pay attention. Appreciation wants to express through you.

It’s your nature. Be generous with yourself throughout the holiday. Appreciate where you’re at and show up as the real you. Doesn’t matter if your cookies taste good, you’re hungover, or just too damn cheery for most people in the room.

You be you.

Let your appreciation for others spill out into every interaction.

 

They really need this simple act of being noticed and thanked.
 

It’s a basic human need. Something we can all relate to. Plus, it just feels good. Kinda like drinking warm cocoa.I bet it isn’t too hard to find tiny and big ways you appreciate another person. Or a situation. Or even a really big problem.  



Appreciation invites freedom to the holiday table. 



And freedom is a much better dinner guest than tension or judgement.   



Wonder.



As a question. I wonder what marvelous thing or event will appear at our holiday celebration? 

As a feeling. It’s often a whole body experience with a sense that life has delivered something to your door that was way beyond your expectation. It could be momentary or sustained wonder. Either way, it feels great. Every cell agrees.



The magic of Santa. The new baby at the holiday table. The unexpected opening of hearts. 



Wonder at the stories in all sacred traditions. Of a light that guided the way to joy, peace, and sweet happiness with one another. On this Winter Solstice, I invite you to remember the Light within all beings and all of the natural world.



Seek and ye shall find.   



What you seek matters. For all of us.



I’m wishing you joy, peace, and love as you celebrate the sacred moments within this Season of Light. 



Thanks for being a part of this lovely community whether it’s receiving this Blog or showing up at Soul Sanctuary. I’m glad you’re around. You make my life richer with your Presence.



Happy holidays.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Always be on the lookout for Wonder. It’s a game changer. Wonder is a complex emotion best investigated by direct experience. It may be defined as a heightened state of emotion and consciousness. Prompted by something that is rare, unexpected, and beautiful. It holds elements of surprise, joy, curiosity, and contemplation. It drops you into an expanded state by surprise and delights you with the shift in perception of your surroundings and life itself. Settling into the moment, cultivating stillness, and calling forth love and appreciation may leave you Wonder Prone. 


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Sitting in the Mall. Ho Ho Ho No.

I was back at the Apple store. In the mall. During holiday shopping season.  

For someone who doesn’t shop much nor go to the mall during holiday season, here I was (again) at the Apple store. Second round of checking out why only one of my Air Pods worked. My original pair was fading and only the left pod worked. So I purchased a new pair only to discover that the right pod didn’t connect. 

A cheerful Apple Elf set me up with an appointment with a Genius who would resolve my issue. 

Any time I can work with a Genius, I’m in. Although I balked when told I’d have to wait over an hour for the next available smarty pants. Truth be told, I panicked a bit. What was I going to do in a mall for over an hour with all of these shoppers? Realizing the absurdity of my response, I accepted the gift of an appointment and set off to complete my one errand. I quickly remembered what I learned in my college marketing class.

Macy’s is filled with bright, shiny objects. All of which are arranged to call your name.

“Look at me! Pick me up! Take me home!” I found it fascinating how my mind was seeking something to buy, even as I ran the gauntlet of perfume bearing ladies wanting to spray me. After all, an hour to kill in the mall was an invitation to browse. Yet, I didn’t need anything and I didn’t fancy the lure of buying something for a quick oxytocin hit.

If browsing was out, perhaps I could get some extra steps in by walking the mall.

I knew that was a thing, mall walking. Unsurprisingly I had a full body shudder and a big fat no to that suggestion. Starbucks beckoned with the sound of blending and shaking, seemingly in rhythm with the holiday music. Another no. So, I stood still and waited to discover how I’d spend my hour. 

A gentle voice from within suggested a preposterous idea. 

“Why not sit on that couch over there?” In the midst of strolling shoppers, a small oasis of artistically positioned couches beckoned. With a seat that was not only free and calling my name, but facing the Apple store.

And then, I remembered.

This Season is Sacred

 

I sat down. Smiled at my neighbors who didn’t notice ’cause they were on their phones.



I breathed deeply as I tuned into the loving vibration that underlies all of life. Sacred in every moment and every movement.

Once connected, I radiated love and appreciation. 

I mean I littered the shit out of that busy mall. Spewing light, joy, and smiles in every direction.


Once I felt the momentum had a life of its own, I checked out my neighbors.I shared a smile with my couch mate, a slouching teen in a hoodie, as we laughed at a serious toddler stalled in the midst of the moving crowd. It was entertaining and refreshing to notice how a parent let a kid be curious and people slowed down for some sweet, humorous interactions.

With more time on my hands, I shared my holiday party photos with some “love you” texts.

Here I was in the mall, on a couch, absorbed in my phone, grinning like a maniac. I had this lovely warm feeling inside. Kinda like how the Grinch felt after he encountered that little genius, Cindy Lou Who.



“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.”



My time on the couch was complete. I took my LightBody into the cheery Apple store and met my Genius. Turns out the right pod was kaput. As she went off to get my replacement, it struck me.



My left pod, representing the Feminine, was active. Inviting me to become still, be receptive, and nourish myself directly from the Source of all things Sacred.



My right pod, representing the Masculine, suggested I tune out the outer world with its bright, shiny lure. So I could turn within to explore what was happening beneath the surface. Apparently, it took my failing Air Pods, two trips to the mall, an hour wait, and an empty couch to help me sit still and soak in the Sacred.



I hope you hear that inner call to let the glitter of the Season be delightful without obscuring the obvious.



Life is Sacred. All the time. Enjoy all the beauty, meaningful connections, and love you can radiate this holiday. Have fun giving and receiving your presents, stuffing your face, and laughing with strangers. When the going gets tough as loneliness or family stress surfaces, drop into the Light that always radiates.

Its nourishing Presence knows that YOU are already shiny and bright.


Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

There’s nothing wrong with shopping in the mall. I did my own research on that couch and watched happy people laden down with bags. Radiating happiness and laughter. Lots of shiny and bright couples and families. I also noticed some stressed out ladies (head down, walking fast). I bet they have “a list” and aren’t enjoying being the only elf in the family. And the expected crying kids and frustrated parents. That’s a given in any mall. Just remember this. Buying stuff that costs more than you can afford to please your sense of obligation or boost your self perception isn’t the greatest gift you can give yourself.