Author: Kathy Milano

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Quiet Gratitude

Thanksgiving is here.  So is the gift of choice. How you celebrate, where, and with whom. 

In this time, with this virus, the choices are different. And the impact on your way of living and relating is great. I’m witnessing the loss, disappointment, loneliness, and fear that is present.

And the courage, resilience, and strength in the human capacity for adaptability. 

As I listen to the world, I hear your conversations that focus upon what was lost and speculation of when it will be returned. I listen to my own thoughts that echo that approach.

It seems that the benchmark for living, even in the midst of upheaval, remains the way of the past.

This framework of your life is familiar and, like most of us, you depend greatly upon familiarity. It is built into your survival system and allows you to move through your day in a habitual manner. This is an effective and efficient way of expending your mental, emotional, and physical energy.

Yet, life is inviting a different response by necessity.

It is a chance to reevaluate what is meaningful and how we connect with one another. I hope you don’t miss this invitation by trying to figure out how to celebrate Thanksgiving like you did before … with COVID adaptations.

I hope you see the new possibility. Even with all the disappointment and discomfort of this newness. 

 

Every moment, when lived with awareness, offers a choice of how to engage this life. To explore how to enter the intimacy of living within your body, relating to those around you, and choosing how you approach your moments. And your holiday. 

I hope you can settle in and enjoy moving more slowly. 

To reflect upon the goodness of your life and the simple pleasures of living. In the slower, quieter movement throughout the day, there is a natural invitation for reflection.  It’s larger than sharing your gratitude before a turkey dinner. Although that is quite lovely. You have the opportunity to sit within the invitation of gratitude to see, feel, and experience its presence in your daily life.

Life is mostly quiet now. Granting opportunities for silence and slow movement.

I feel a deep, abiding gratitude for these quiet moments. For this disruption to all things normal so that I can see and feel what is here within me, around me, and between me and the world. I’m aware of how much I’ve missed in the scheduled movements of my life. How busy I’ve been attending to my life and how much living I’ve overlooked.

As the stillness beckons, I am pulled away from the need to attend to the noise of the world.

What emerges is the richness of simple actions. Like walking my dog as the sun sets lower in the sky. Feeling the wild wind whipping my hair. Hearing the leaves crunch beneath my feet. Surrounded by the dark, tangled wood with just a hint of the outline of a doe and her child. I stop to connect and chat a bit. Mother to mother.

The night is quiet. The trees are dancing.

Darkness is not yet broken by the light of the moon, yet graced occasionally by sweeping headlights. What a gift to walk out of my door into this tame wilderness. 

Entering the warmth and light of my home, I feel complete. Blessed. Grateful. 

I wish you deep stillness during this holiday weekend. I hope you feel the connection with yourself and the wonder of your life. May you you seek meaningful connection. With your memories, your socially distanced guests, your ZOOM or phone conversations.

I hope you consider who may be in need of connection and reach for them with love.

I hope you feel the gratitude for the ease in which you live, even in the midst of great difficulty. And for everyone who has contributed to your wellbeing in those tiny and huge ways.

May the essence of Gratitude be your companion not only on Thanksgiving, but in every moment of your life. 

Thank you for every way you contribute to this wonder of a life. So that I may benefit from your presence. So we all can. 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

German researchers explored the question “What are your personal strategies for happiness?”  Two primary strategies, personal and social, emerged. They found that people who set personal goals, like getting a better job or staying healthy, didn’t budge on the happiness meter. Whereas those with social strategies like spending time with family and friends or volunteering not only followed through, they reported increases in happiness. Social connection is consistently identified as an important factor in well being. Social connection doesn’t have to be in person, but it does involve people! Reach out and let others reach in. 

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The Generous Friendship of Trees

I turned off the car, took one conscious breath, and sat a moment.

Finding a space of peace within as I let my busy mind and active body settle from my morning.  Silently, I breathed away those thoughts which competed for my scattered attention.  Encouraged by my newfound peace, my eyes focused on what stood before me. 

A beautiful tree of red situated next to a smaller tree of yellow. 

Such beauty in these Fall colors! They had not been present last time I parked my car before them.  Or had they?  I didn’t know.  So often racing from one space to another.  I didn’t notice them yesterday, but these delightful colors were definitely present today. 

I breathed in appreciation of the artistry dancing in the breeze before me. 

My eyes slowly wandered to the left and took a moment to process the mix of colors around me.  A beautiful holly tree with glistening green leaves.  So vibrantly alive.  These sturdy green leaves reflected the light as if diamonds had taken a pause in flight to wink at me.

I couldn’t help but noticing how generously the natural world shared beauty, diversity, and support.

Woven into the green holly leaves were splashes of red. The branches of the neighboring tree had come to visit, rest, and share in the beautification of this tiny patch of nature.  I wondered if the red leaves understood the holly’s desire to adorn herself. Or if it was a beautiful friendship where the holly enjoyed both the brilliant red leaves and the stark naked branches of her neighbor.

I don’t know how long I sat there. Creatively exploring the intent and friendship of the trees before me.

 

Smiling, I realized that this decorative gift of red was to be repaid in time.  Day after day the red leaves would flutter in the breeze, leaving branches of brown unadorned.  No longer offering a gift of color to the holly, roles would reverse as the receiver became the giver. 

Throughout the winter, the vibrant holly tree would cradle the naked branches and adorn them with leaves of green and diamond lights. 

I figured then that the sun and breeze conspired to dance this model of reciprocal giving.  So its graceful movement and reflecting light might catch the fancy of a distracted driver who parked before it. 

Inviting her to take a breath, enjoy a moment of stillness, and feel a deep sense of peace.

Such a generous lesson before me. One that had been missed over many, many years of parking in that spot. Funny thing.  In the days that followed, I found generous weavings of red, orange, brown, and green everywhere I went.  When I was distracted by mindless, unimportant thoughts, dancing forests, alive with color, reminded me to  breathe deeply. To open my eyes to the gifts of beauty, generosity, and magical light existing everywhere.

Reminding me to share my beautiful light with others.

To dance in harmony with others across all seasons. With all manner of support. Sometimes giving. Sometimes receiving. Always grateful for this generous exchange.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Urban forests are in danger. Losing an average of 36 million trees per year. A pilot program from the US Forest Service and Vermont’s spatial analysis lab created a sophisticated land cover mapping system overlaying tree data with city data. In Baltimore, temperature, crime, and use of heat or air conditioning reduced when the tree canopy increased! Monitoring the health of existing trees as a city investment and new plantings may help cities can recover urban forests, decrease energy use, and save millions of dollars.

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Keep Going On

Today, I wanted to send you encouragement. And love.

I didn’t need to add more advice or opinion to your inbox. There is plenty of helpful guidance out there for managing election stress. And I believe you are wise at your core and know how to care for yourself.

Turn down the outer noise. Tune into your inner wisdom. Okay, that’s done.

I wanted to send you my prayer today. The prayer I sat within all day yesterday. I wondered how to turn that peace into words. How to hold the steady focus on the deepest love while acknowledging the confusion, anxiety, grief, anger, and loss.

I wanted to sing you a song of encouragement. And love.

 

To recognize the shit show we’re living in. And acknowledge how very hard it is. How very brave you are. And how creatively you are managing this time. And how I am with you in it. Deep within it all.

I couldn’t quite find the words. Strange, I know. But, it was so quiet within.

And then words came to me through a source so perfect, so beautiful, so creative, and so joyful, that I had to share this song with you.

It’s not my song. It’s the Bengsons that will guide you forward with their Keep Going Song.

How did they know my prayer for you? How did they sing the thoughts that had not yet surfaced to my lips? I am enamored with their talent. And their hearts.

I hope you listen and feel the encouragement.

And the love with a sprinkle of delight and wonder.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

The power of a heartfelt visual message does wonders. Especially during isolation and the separation from the human need to gather with one another. Seeing a smiling face lights up the mirror neurons in your brain. Encouraging the feel good chemicals to jazz up your system. Hearing a friend’s voice or a family member’s concern warms your heart and brings you back into connection.  Human connection is essential for wellbeing. While hugging and hanging out in person isn’t viable, video is a great way to connect when you share your voice, smile, and expression of love.

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Love Dreamed Today

Love dreamed today
A beautiful dream

Witnessing the perfection of a sunflower 
Towering beauty of yellow and green
Seeking the light at every turn
Swaying, dancing, spreading joy

Love dreamed today
A beautiful dream

Witnessing a perfect cumulus cloud
Morphing into a crystalline drop of water
Nourishing a newborn bird
Whose future songs soothe weary hearts

Love dreamed today
A beautiful dream

Witnessing a synchronistic act of kindness
An inspired idea birthed into form
Received freely in Love
A life changed forever, gratefully

Love dreamed today
A particularly beautiful dream

Astounding in its complexity
Magnificent in its simplicity
Radiant in its reach
Altering the course of humanity

Love dreamed It’s highest dream today

Love dreamed you

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Rap as poetry? What’s the deal? Lyrical poetry, expressing personal and emotional feelings, doesn’t have to rhyme and may be set to a musical beat. Harvard professor Gates, Jr, in the forward to “The Anthology of Rap,” writes “either rap describes commercialized music and hip hop the sounds of the underground; or rap suggests a gritty style (as in gangsta rap) and hip hop a more politically and socially conscious approach (as in backpack hip hop).” Poetry. Lyrical. Musical. Expression. The Broadway show, Hamilton, revealed the power of lyrical prose to excite a nation. Writing poetry can also excite your creative brain centers. Your turn. “Give us a verse. Drop some knowledge.”

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Wanted: Parking Spaces and Miracles

Here’s an Angel tale which has a high likelihood of being true. (wink)

Lucia was feeling especially sad one cold, overcast day as she walked down the street to work. It was more than the winter blues that had her feeling overwhelmed when, once again, she couldn’t find a parking place anywhere near her office. Tightening her coat around her, Lucia reflected on the difficulty of making it on her own in the world.

Lucia was beaten down from having too much to do and too little time, help, and money.

She felt too busy with the demands of her job and life in general.  So much time and energy was being put into work that she hardly took time to nurture herself.  So many obligations were interfering with having fun with her family and friends.“I need some help!” she thought. 

Trudging down the street, Lucia began daydreaming about the Want Ad she would like to place.

WANTED: round-the clock assistance to provide guidance, miracles & parking spaces.  Immediate opening requires unlimited availability, outrageously positive outlook, joyful sense of humor, excellent communication skills  and boundless energy.   Must always respond, provide expert direction, and bring love to every interaction. Salary: my gratitude.  Benefits: the intrinsic pleasure from serving others.

The moment Lucia ended her daydream, she was astounded to see multitudes of Angels all around her.

Stopping abruptly, she noticed beautiful beings of light engaged in acts of service to the people all around her.  She twirled in circles marveling at the little to big ways the Angels were helping the humans. “How can this be?” she wondered.  “Perhaps I am hallucinating!” “Or perhaps you are seeing things as they really are!” a gentle voice offered.  Lucia’s body was tingling as she turned toward the musical voice.

Lucia was enthralled by the presence of a beautiful large Angel who radiated feelings of comfort and love.

“Greetings, dear Lucia. I am Gabriel, chosen messenger of the Angelic realm this day to share our deepest gratitude to you for calling upon us.  We have long awaited the opportunity to partner with you to create a life filled with peace, love, joy, and harmony.  I am here to answer any questions you may have about how we may be of service to you.” As they walked down the street, Lucia’s many questions were asked and answered. 

Her life was transformed in that moment. To be continued ….

Lucia could be anyone of us, on any given day, when life feels a bit too challenging. By learning to partner with the Angels, Lucia learned that there really was tangible, practical help available once she knew how it worked.  Across many spiritual traditions, Angels serve as messengers of the Divine Source, as emanations of love, and as helpers for humanity.

If you are open to the possibility of Angelic existence, the partnership may begin with a request for help.

The request is important as Angels respect your free will and don’t work unbidden. Many people overtly ask for help, while others send out subconscious requests for heavenly assistance.  As Lucia learned, there is no limit to the number of Angels available, type of help given, or wisdom, love, and healing that they offer. 

Angels have no space or time restriction, so they can be with anyone and everyone, anywhere, at any time.

No request is too small or too large. This is important and frees you to ask the Angels for any kind of help. It truly doesn’t matter whether you are asking for guidance about life decisions, healing from disease, recapturing joy in relationships, or finding the perfect parking place.  You may ask aloud, within your mind, or on paper. Just so long as you ask.

Lucia stopped still once she saw the ‘signs’ of Angels around her. 

She then moved through her doubt to enter into a dialogue to learn more. These are important steps as you open intuitively to the Angelic conversation. Take time to be still and notice what ‘answers’ show up in your life.  You may quiet the active mind by meditating, reflecting in nature, turning off the TV or radio, or slowing down while you consciously move through your day.  Everyone is intuitive and has the potential to receive information in their unique way.

Children know this and display a natural trust, as well as a playfulness, in their openness to the world beyond the five senses.

Once open to receiving help and guidance, you may notice the coincidental way a stranger offers an idea, a challenge  miraculously dissolves, or a friend provides you with the perfect book.  Solutions appear in dreams, gut feelings guide you in the right direction, and feelings of peace descend with the thought of being surrounded by Angels. 

Take note that conversations with Angels provide kind, loving, and positive messages that are always empowering.

These beings of light are never harsh, dismissive, and judgmental. If doubt or critical thoughts enter your dialogue, take a breath and drop back into your original intent to connect with the loving assistance of the Angelic realm.  If you’re interested in how the Angels may help enhance your life, ask them to lead you to the books, people, workshops, and experiences that support your learning more.  Most importantly, have fun with this exploration as the Angels are naturally light, joyful, playful, and enthusiastically loving.    

Let’s see how Lucia’s Want Ad is paying off.

Six months later, Lucia laughed and thanked her ‘parking Angel’ as she once again found the perfect parking space outside her office building.   With a bounce in her step, she enthusiastically set off for work. Trusting that whatever she needed would be provided. Knowing she was surrounded and protected by the unlimited love of the Angels.  By seeking this partnership, Lucia had rediscovered the delight, joy, and unconditional love that is available to everyone. 

As Lucia walked confidently into the building, people stopped to admire her glow. 

Lucia had reclaimed the light within that was her namesake. Once the Light brightened Lucia, it continued to flow forth to bless those who crossed her path.  Who knows? Perhaps some of that Light is flowing through these words to you right now. Remember that whenever you ask the Angels for help or to rekindle your Light, they respond immediately. Engaging the Angels has the potential to enhance your life and awaken your inner glow. 

Ready to place your Want Ad? I know I am.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Is religion good for your health? In 2015, researchers from Duke University reviewed more than 3000 studies looking at religion/spiritual beliefs and wellbeing. A majority of relevant studies revealed that relationships exist between religion/spirituality and psychological health, physical well-being, and longevity. However, it isn’t clear exactly why these links exist. Researchers identify these 3 reasons why religion/spirituality may be good for you: better health habits, enhanced coping, and social support.

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The Power of the Pause


Let’s tell the truth. Sometimes life gets you down.

As if the powers that be are conspiring against you. As if the power within you has gone on vacation. As if all your hard earned success at managing life seems out of reach. Those times may arrive with a shock or when the proverbial straw breaks the camel’s back.

Regardless of how the pressure came about, when it’s too much, it’s too much.

Many of you were raised with voices outside of you urging you to keep going. To keep your chin up, dry your tears, and keep trying. Now, that’s not necessarily bad advice, but there’s a time and place for that response.

Everything works better when there’s a rhythm that allows for intense focus and action interspersed with resting and day dreaming. Yet, that’s not the way of the adult world.

It’s the relentless messaging from family, school, work, and society to strive for success that gets internalized.

When you hear something enough, you begin to believe it. And adopt it as your own. Especially if you don’t know any better.

Kids know better.

When they’ve had enough, they cry out loud. They flop to the ground as if their bones are fluid. They let you know in no uncertain times that it’s time for a break. And they get one – a nap, a cuddle, a bath, or a snack.

Somewhere along the way, we adults forgot the benefit of that pause.

And when society forgets it, you’re invited to forge ahead. To work hard in order to prove your worth or earn your keep. Along the way, you get amnesia for the wisdom and pleasure of taking a pause.

The bigger picture has gotten so mixed up that a Time Out is considered a threat or a punishment by many parents (and children) rather than a wise intervention. Here’s the thing …

When it becomes the normative expectation to keep going, no matter what, you’re gonna run into yourself at some point.

That applies pretty much to everyone who has let go the Pause. Which means most of you. Especially you who are high achievers, working parents, nurturers, highly responsible workers, and creative entrepreneurs. Most of you might have a hard time taking a break when you need one.

That’s key: taking a break when you actually need a break.

Not when it’s your lunch hour, bedtime, or the weekend. Not when that project is finished, your boss is happy, or your kid has moved out. It’s best to take a pause and reorganize yourself as soon as you’re feeling the stress building up.

You can recognize the Power of the Pause to keep your breathing smooth, your brain sharp, and your heart open.

 

I hear a lot about stress every week. It’s inevitable since I talk to humans.

I hear less about pausing. When it is explored, I recognize that the adult version of a pause is pretty short lived. As if the bare minimum will be sufficient to lift every straw off your back.

A bath. A nap. A snack. A walk in the woods.

The truth is, if you’ve been raised in the world which tells you to keep going no matter what. And if your inner voice adds to the clamor by diminishing you if you want to take that break.

Well, you’re in a pickle. ‘Cause no little nap or afternoon on the couch will be sufficient to repair years and decades of striving to move forward.

It takes a concerted effort to reorganize a stress response system that has gone out of whack.

You were built to manage stress. To grow and thrive when faced with challenge. To flexibly navigate the steep inclines and curving paths of your day to day existence. When you’re clear headed and well rested, you’ve got options.

When you’re frequently feeling overwhelmed or moving through a particularly stressful time in your life, your potential to flexibly and intelligently respond to stress is limited. The more rigid your response to stress, the less capable you are to relate to life. And the more likely you are to be overwhelmed.

That’s why I created the Self Soothe Strategy PlayBook and guided meditation.

To remind you of something you may have forgotten. You have an intelligent stress response system which offers much more than a Fight or Flight response. When you balance movement with pausing and are aware of both the benefit and detriment of stress, you increase the tendency to utilize the appropriate response to each stressful situation.

You’re smarter when your stress response is free to guide you. Less ready to break and more ready to relate effectively.

Stress is a biological state designed to flexibly guide you into action and help you learn from experience. And you have choices in how to respond: the Challenge Response, the Tend and Befriend Response, or the Fight or Flight Response. You’ve got options. Overwhelm or a lack of understanding of how you work limits these options.

Understanding more about your Stress Habit, your Stress Response System, and your Stress Mindset opens the way to change.

Allowing you to integrate the benefit of Pausing throughout the day as a regular part of your routine. And as a response to a build up of tension. The Self Soothe Strategy offers a quick read so you get the basics needed to both understand how you’re primed to manage stress and how to consciously activate a more intelligent, beneficial response to the inevitable challenges of life.

I hope you take a moment to download this PlayBook. And pause to read it.

I hope you enjoy the guided meditation. and pause to listen. There’s some great practices in there. All designed to integrate the Pause. But, I’d recommend you take it further. Get serious about taking those breaks. Plan them as a regular part of your weekly routine and drop into the pause whenever you feel the tension rising.

When you need a break, take a break.

I’ll bet the sun still rises and the stars still shine. And you, too, will shine a little brighter without carrying the weight of the world.s

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Paying it forward. Tiny actions of kindness gather momentum. You may think of the benefit for the person receiving the kindness, but what about those who witness it? Research has found that witnessing kindness offers a feel good boost of chemicals. And makes it more likely you’ll pass it on. Subtle acts of kindness litter your day.  Watch for them. Create them without caring if anyone sees you. The result? Check out the Give a Little Love video on youtube by Noah and the Whale. Kindness paid forward. There’s no limit on that potential!

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Time Travel

I witnessed a big brown dog out for a stroll with a small boy on the end of his leash.

Laughing at the incongruity of the pair, I wondered who was walking whom.  I thought how easily it would be for this large dog to hijack this tiny boy to walk along the pet’s preferred path.  After a moment of chuckling, I returned to my previous worry about some future thingamajig.    As I reentered this worry pattern, the image of the big dog and the little boy popped into my mind. 

Who was walking whom?

My worry thoughts were like the big dog, pulling my attention away from the present moment.  Like a small child, my attention was yanked out of present time, dragged forward by this current of worry about a future that had not yet come. 

I realized I had been time traveling.

I snapped back to the present, breathed consciously, and noticed my surroundings.  “Be here now.” I checked in with my body and my emotions and found I was just fine. Everything in this moment was fine. 

I focused upon the beauty of the sky and the budding greenery of spring. 

I felt contentment, reflecting on my many blessings.  I was quickly back in the present moment – jerked back to real time by the simple appearance of a big brown dog and a small boy.  I had to smile as I imagined the young boy going home to announce to his parents that he had rescued a woman from the unnecessary throes of worry. 

My tiny hero and his furry sidekick. 

I reflected upon this epidemic of time travel.  How frequently your regret catapults you to past transgressions. This type of runaway time travel is distinctly different from a conscious review of past choices or making amends.  Practices of forgiveness, clarifying feelings, and righting wrongs are actions taken to achieve resolution, clear past bindings, and make peace with self and others. 

Allowing a return to the present moment rather than keeping you trapped in the past. 

Equally ineffective is a fearful leap forward, imagining future scenarios of how things could go very wrong.  While creative solution generation makes good sense, it’s different from fruitless worry or complaining. These are simply an inefficient use of energy, focus, and intelligence. 

Such fearful or critical thoughts pull your attention from what’s happening and placing it on what’s not.

Without the ability to notice and then sit with what is happening right now, you lose the option to consciously choose how to “be” and what “do.”  Calm contemplation, even in challenging times, helps you access greater wisdom so you may engage in inspired action. 

If you’re addicted to “time travel” (most of us are), you need to shift your mode of travel (worry thoughts) and destination (future problem).

 

Indigenous shamans, wise leaders, and conscious parents dream the future for themselves, their communities, and their great, great grandchildren.  They travel within their imagination, in partnership with their guidance, to witness a positive future.  But you’re no shaman, so how’re you going to dream the future?

Here’s the good news.  You’ve been in training for a lifetime.

All that time spent projecting your thoughts and imagination forward and backward in time makes you a genius time traveler.  That’s where the shift  comes in. Replacing worry with daydreaming a positive outcome.  Strengthening the vision with feel good emotions, encouraging self talk, and beautiful images. 

If you’re not great in the positive imagination department just yet, start by writing, drawing, or creating a vision board of a future outcome.

Time travel can be mindless (ruminating while driving) or mindful (noticing our surroundings, silent contemplation). You are already primed for this type of dreaming.  Exploring a lovely future sure beats being dragged along by worry. As a bonus, you’ll begin to create new neural pathways. Building new skills and increasing the potential for positive dreaming.

Observe yourself to notice how often you speed forward and backward in time.

Make a choice to stay present.  Plan some quiet time to consciously and creatively travel through time. Shaman style. Dream a new, bright future into being.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

A lot of people are EXCITED about the chance to vote in this presidential election. That’s new for many. Excitement. Passion. Commitment. Wanting to have a voice. Regardless of why they feel strongly or which candidate they are choosing, there is interest and commitment this year. This seems to be one thing we have in common with our fellow citizens. I enjoyed this encouragement to VOTE from the Hamilton cast. Here’s the link: Hamilton X When We All Vote. Spread the word. If you need help getting registered, call me!  I’ll help you.

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Creating my Website: 8 Lessons Learned

I value hindsight. It allows me to notice what I’ve learned.

When I complete a project, let’s use my beautiful new website as an example, I find myself naturally settling into a reflective period. I’ve learned the hard way that if I jump in to the next thing too quickly, I’ll miss all the juicy nuggets of things learned. I want to integrate these hard won insights, lessons, and discoveries. So I may practice and improve upon them as I grow.

I’ve learned to leave judgment out of the process.

It just isn’t helpful to judge yourself or others. That’s a diversion and is just covering up something that wants to also be seen. So, if you find yourself judging, dive deeper to see what is within you that needs to be heard, held, and helped. Then you’re free to meander through the project’s creation. Celebrating the sweet spots, taking note of what is yet to be learned, and gently acknowledging things could have been done differently.

Here’s 8 (really valuable) lessons I’ve learned during the creation of my website.

There’s more, but 8 is enough. Here goes. Life is creative. You are creative. It doesn’t matter if you are making your art, developing a business, raising a child, planting a garden, or transforming your life. The act of living is an act of creation. I hope my insights inspire you to keep going and create something beautiful for the world.

1. It’s okay not to know how to do it.

When you are leaping (or crawling) to a new level of creating, it seems obvious that you won’t know “how to do it.” After all, it’s a new level. Ask any high school student at the beginning of the school year if they understand algebra, chemistry, or physics. First time in? Not so much. Ask again at the end of the year. This expectation that you “should” be able to do something which requires learning, new knowledge, and perhaps skills you’ll never get around to learning, is kinda silly really. Funny that it’s such a common expectation. I hope you let that idea go.

2. You can’t do it alone. No one ever does.

No one does it alone. Not ever. Especially when creating and growing requires knowledge, skill, and experience that you don’t have. Kinda obvious, huh? Everything builds on everything. And so many people help along the way. I’m so grateful for Rodrigo who built my first beautiful website when I opened my private practice and started offering workshops in 2005. And for Emma who midwifed me through a lengthy process of clarifying and translating my Soul’s intent into a work of HeArt.

I’m truly grateful for Rich who has supported every need online and found every solution throughout the years. Who is still figuring out how to make things work so I can do my work. For dear friends and colleagues who have encouraged and taught me along the way. For the depth of this Cosmic guidance appearing in so many ways. And for you. All of you who show up, share, and live the inspired ideas that flow through my work. Who inspire me to dive deeper. You do nothing on your own. That much I know for sure. (Which is why I value sending Love Letters expressing my gratitude).

3. Be true to your Soul (and not marketing advice).

I had to let go so much expert advice on “how to” create my brand, voice, website, and offerings. In the midst of confusion and overwhelm during the process, I recognized something. I had to be true to myself and what wanted to flow through me. I had to choose these inner promptings over outer advice. So, I quit trying to be concise (not my strong suit) and just let my words flow. I stopped searching for the catchy phrases or the best way to create a webpage.

I wanted to create a work of HeArt that would serve you. So I did. Unapologetically, I decided to show up true to myself. While I hope that truly serves you, I’m clear about following the voice of my Soul rather than marketing advice. With that said, I’ve learned a lot from the expertise of those in the marketing and business development fields. I’ll keep on learning from them and only take what aligns with my Soul.

4. Let your ideas be seeds not end products.

Your creative process is a process. And it’s influenced by unseen forces which are wildly creative and supremely intelligent. I’ve learned that my little pea brain and the tiny ideas I hold there are nothing compared to what wants to be created through me. Plant your seed: be curious about your ideas and nurture them. Remembering that nourishing an idea does not mean demanding it appear in a way that pleases you. Then go seek genius, beauty, and delight in the world. When you’re inspired by those who let their seeds grow wildly, you open to the possibility of what may be.

Your creative process is a process. And it’s influenced by unseen forces which are wildly creatively and supremely intelligent.

 

5. Transparency helps you stay real.

Tell the truth. Sometimes creating some new version of yourself or a project is exhilarating and enjoyable. Sometimes it’s a shit show. And often it pulls you down into your patterns of limitation. So you can see them, break through them, and rise up higher.  It’s human nature to excel, to fail, to show up, and to hide. So, get real and tell the truth.

Not everyone needs to know everything of course. This isn’t a suggestion for a lack of boundaries or forgoing self awareness. Save the private work for the sanctity of your trusted Soul, true friends and helpers, and supportive colleagues. Just give up the presentation that everything is bright and shiny. Social media does enough harm that way

6. Creativity meanders. Give up the straight path.

You were raised in a world that teaches the linear, hierarchical path. Yet, you meander. We all do. Take a look at nature. Listen to anyone’s life story. Explore how innovators, artists, and rule breakers came into their ideas and their current way of being. You’ll find the meandering path in all of these places. Meandering is the way of the Soul and the movement of life.

The societal message that you have to start here, do this, and get there is a work of fiction. Well accepted fiction, but it’s just not the way of life. When you practice the art of meandering and see each diversion as an indication of your path’s wise direction, you cease to bang your head against the brick wall. This takes practice. We’ve all been trained as head bangers who come up short. It’s not our fault. Meandering wasn’t in the curriculum. Put it back in.

7. Don’t quit. Do go outside and play a bit.

It’s okay to lay down a project. Sometimes you need a break for a bit. Sometimes COVID happens and everything turns upside down. Life is wise. So are you. When inner or outer disruptions interfere with your project, take notice. Breathe deep, take a break, and ask your inner wisdom for guidance. Maybe that answer shows up immediately upon asking, but most the time it takes a while to arrive. It’s a good idea to head out to play a bit. Let what’s happening behind the scenes happen. You aren’t doing this alone, remember?

You may have to let go a hidden belief so you can grow into a bigger potential. Or somebody or something else has to come into place. It may be time to make peace with making mistakes or not knowing how to proceed.  Who knows? Worry less about where you are in the project timeline and enjoy the meandering art of creation. Coming back into alignment with everyone and everything that is conspiring to create something wonderful and beneficial.

And when you’re done playing, get back to work. Tiny actions and persistent effort, when executed wisely, yield very cool results.

8. Let go of perfection as you strive for excellence.

I like things to show up the way I want them. I’m meticulous about beauty and accurate representation. I had to learn to let go and let Emma create beauty. To enter the design with Rich so I could tweak and bedazzle it to my liking. And then just let it be even when parts didn’t work. To make the decision to launch a site that isn’t perfect and may never be.

Again and again, to face the inevitable brick wall that isn’t brick at all. Just a reminder that not everything can be figured out quite yet. That mistakes are made and eventually will be fixed. And to hold the commitment to the Soulful intent with positivity, love, and gratitude. Again and again. Witnessing what unfolds. Accepting what is less than perfect.

At the end of the day, it’s a Love Letter. To you and your Beautiful Soul.

And that’s what matters. You. Loving your Beautiful Soul. We, together, all of us. Loving all Beautiful Souls.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Daily creativity can help you flourish. Research suggests that everyday creativity leads to greater well-being. A study tracked time young adults spent in daily creative endeavors, reports of positive and negative emotions, and “flourishing” (an overall sense of meaning, purpose, engagement, and social connection). Results revealed that being engaged in more creative activities than usual led to positive emotion and flourishing the next day. Negative emotions didn’t change. Since the reverse wasn’t seen (positive emotions and flourishing didn’t increase creativity), findings suggest that everyday creativity is an important to wellbeing.

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My New Website: A Work of HeArt

I feel like I birthed a baby, nurtured her as she grew, and sent her off to college.

Okay, it may seem a bit much to compare the creation of my new website with the miracle of parenting. Forgive me. I’m still a little sleep deprived. But I’ve learned that both experiences lead you on a wild ride. I do know my heart is so full of gratitude, love, and a sense of wonder about possibilities I can not quite see. 

This was my fourth attempt at creating a new website. 

The first three ended in the proverbial brick wall. After banging my head against that damn wall for a while, I admitted I couldn’t do it. And I laid the project down. Disappointed again in my lack of ability to see through the seed of an idea and the nudging of my Soul. Too busy with life and too stymied by my own limitations, I let the project go. 

Over time, I felt a cringe each time I went on my website. 

So I avoided it as much as possible. I orphaned my own creation rather than seek the source of my perceived limitation. Now again, I’ll skip the drama. Truth be told, I didn’t suffer that much. After all, when you avoid a pain point, you can effectively dodge the discomfort. You know this, I’m sure. And you also know that regardless of your avoidance, when your Soul has an idea for your life it will persistently return your focus to that idea. Until you follow it in your own time. In your own way. 

Apparently, I’ve grown up a bit. So I could partner with my Soul instead of hide.

Through all these years of Soulful exploration, meaningful work, and personal transformation, I’ve followed the path that lights up before me. Sometimes I skipped or ran forward. Other times, I walked slowly and took a lot of breaks. Many times, I stepped off the path entirely only to learn that wasn’t actually a thing. Well, it is a “mind thing.” Another dramatic idea of how well or not so well you are living. And it seems to be amplified for the spiritual seeker (but, you already know that mind game). Laying down this mind thing, I realized something.

Your whole life is the Path. So is every acceptance or avoidance. 

 

Through the years, I’ve been clear on what I wanted to offer you. My work reflects that intent, regardless of the state of my website. My heart reflects that intent. When I remembered this truth, the brick wall disappeared. I knew what I wanted to create, just not how to translate it on the web. And I was ready to find those capable of translating my Soul’s guidance and heartfelt intent into a new form. 

When I’m ready to partner with my Soul, I’m all in. No matter what.

You’ll see what I mean when you read some of my stories on my site. And understand that I created a website that is true to my Soul’s intent to create beauty, empower women to awaken their potential, offer rich resources to enhance your life, and serve from my WholeHeart. I hope you feel that when you visit.

I hope you feel the Love that flows through this intent to your heart.

I’ve created some rich resources for you.  Free. Empowering. Practical. In fact, my whole site is full of embedded insights in my pages and blogs.  The free offerings are intended to empower you to develop skills so you may navigate life effectively and with greater ease.  

Download my free Self Soothe Strategy. 

This 60+ page PlayBook helps you understand how to transform Stress to Calm.  The accompanying meditation guides you in a daily practice so you may optimize your body, mind, and energy. I’m kinda in love with that PlayBook. You’ll see why.

Download my free Light Globe meditation.

Creating a coherent energy field is essential to wellbeing. This daily practice will teach you how to harmonize your energy and align with the light of your Soul. Use it anytime you seek to strengthen your field and gain greater clarity in your day.

Angelic Reminders have a new look, too.

These lovely little nuggets arrive weekly via email.  Offering you some Angelic suggestions about how to connect, play, and live the intuitive path.  

You may have to seek and find these offerings. 

That’s the fun of it.  Be curious. Follow through. I’d be interested in hearing how these practices enhance your life. Try them out and let me know. Deep thanks for being with me on this Journey. My heart is full.

Next week, I’ll share 8 (really valuable) lessons I learned along this lengthy creative endeavor. 

You won’t have to create a new website to benefit from these insights. Just apply them to whatever you’re doing these dayst

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Ready to boost your confidence before that meeting? Grab your art supplies (or borrow them from your kid) and let your creativity flow. A study at Drexel University explored how a variety of creative activities would effect self-confidence in adults. Working with collage, modeling clay, and markers, participants were encouraged to create art. Free style. 73% reported an increase in feelings of self-efficacy after only 45 minutes. Just imagine the potential benefits if businesses included art breaks for employees. Why not implement your own 45 minute creative experiment at work or home?

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Back to School. Uncharted Territory.

My fingers typed a different title. Uncharted Terror-tory.

Interesting. True for some. But not helpful. So, I deleted that inspired blip and chose to begin anew. I’ve spent the past month listening deeply. To parents with kids heading back to school. From preschool to graduate school, these parents were wrestling with making difficult decisions for the wellbeing of their children.

Faced with the uncertainty of knowing what the plan would be.

If the school could carry it out, and how it would affect their kids, themselves, and their community. Dealing with their own anxiety, frustration, fear. All the while supporting their children and wondering how to give them some degree of choice.

Every time a decision was reached, something would change.

I’ve been listening a lot this past month to teachers, school administrators, college staff, and private school faculty. It’s been quite a mixed bag of anger, frustration, fear, resentment, blame, positivity, creativity, and professionalism.

It’s basically a shit show in New Jersey.

Every district making decisions. Confusion reigns within schools and throughout the communities.  Tempers flare. Fears are heightened. Divisions between teachers, administrators, unions, and parents widen. Anger seeps out over the great divide between those with means and those without. Unchartered terror-tory seemed to be the culprit behind it all. 

As I see it, everyone is doing the best they can.

There just is no easy answer. And no single playbook. The best laid plans going astray when real kids walked through the school doors. Kids texting parents on the first day. So undone by the distance, the masks, the rules, and the changes. Teachers anxiously trying to teach those in front of them and those on the monitors. While remaining safely distanced and maintaining order. Families at home fiddling with technology. Virtual kids heading out the front door after “early dismissal.” Parents admitting they have to leave their tweens and teens home alone so they can go to work.

Parents scrambling to create work stations for all the kids and themselves.

I’ve been listening. To working parents who are angry, frightened, overwhelmed, and falling behind at work. As tempers flare between partners and between parents and kids. To patient parents who know they aren’t teachers, but are seeking to do the best they can. To parents and teachers who know special needs kids need special teaching. And to everyone experiencing brain and eye fatigue from so much screen time.

As I listened to all the hardships and heightened emotions, I wondered what everyone would learn this year.

Not the academic kind of learning. I wondered if we little and big humans would become more creative, kinder, curious, stronger, and resilient. I think we can. But we adults would have to make some big changes. Right now. Starting with ourselves, no matter what our role is in the education system. Teacher. Parent. Student. Neighbor. Adminstrator. Grandparent. Volunteer. Board Member. All of us together.

Let’s help kids learn.

 

Not just math, science, and history. Let’s model how to be creative, enthusiastic, adaptive, and positive. This is an unprecedented opportunity for adults to model how to meet great challenges in life with grace, understanding, and a best effort to carry out imperfect solutions. To take a deep breath, listen closely to the needs and ideas of others, make mistakes, and try again. It’s a time to stay light – on our feet, in our minds, and mostly, in our hearts. Praise, support, encouragement, and understanding. The kids needs these qualities. And so do the adults.

Let’s lay down all complaints and judgements.

All of them. 95% of what I’ve listened to, across the board, during this past month have been expression of anger, frustration, complaint, blame, and frustration. I get it. I truly do. But, here we are in the midst of a COVID driven world. What are we teaching our kids? Let’s get positive.  Solution focused. Genuinely willing to help. No matter what. There’s always a higher solution. Let’s seek that.

Let’s look for strengths and resources.

Human beings have a great capacity for intelligent problem solving, creative learning, playful engagement, and respectful relating. I wonder what ideas the kids, teens, and college students have about how to best learn. And could the adults, teachers, and parents actively seek ideas from their young charges? And each other. Not only about how to succeed in this strange new educational landscape. Seeking out what’s needed in terms of emotional, relational, and academic support. In all directions. This is about being real, not super human. Some days you’re offering strength and resources. Some days you’re on the receiving end. Both have enormous value for the wellbeing of our human tribe.

Let’s practice radical compassion. With a great dose of love.

For ourselves, our kids, school officials and teachers, parents, and every damn person who is struggling. Face it. We’re all struggling. Sharing with colleagues, other parents, and peers how we are feeling, what we’re doing to care for ourselves, and how we get/don’t get help is empowering. Looking out for adults who lost their jobs or kids whose parents work. This connects us with one another, generates new ideas, activates the desire to care for others, and leaves us feeling less alone or helpless.

Let’s stay open and curious to how it’s all gonna play out.

Maybe schools stay hybrid. Maybe they go all virtual. Maybe we all get to hang out face to face again. Since we truly do not know the future, let’s stay curious. This invites flexibility, adaptability, and humility. No one has the answers. This leaves us vulnerable. Dependent even. Kind of like children. Maybe we’ll appreciate what it’s like to be a vulnerable, dependent kid/teen/young adult again. And be kinder, more willing to listen and understand.

Let’s help one another.

There’s no shortage of need these days. The kids, the parents, the schools, the elderly, the jobless, the frightened, the lonely.  The list goes on. We’re in it together. And you’ve got more to offer than you can even imagine. Who needs your strength, resilience, creativity, compassion, and love? 

Just ask the question. I imagine the answer won’t be far along.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Want to help a student succeed? Focus on what’s most essential: positive emotions. Research has found positive emotions, such as gratitude, love, amusement, and wonder, enhance cognitive flexibility. This boosts the ability to deal with change and be curious about new things. Flexibility, positive emotions, and openness to what’s new are important in the COVID school environment. Helping students seek out positive emotions can enhance emotional well being. And students with higher levels of emotional wellbeing tend to have higher levels of academic achievement and are more engaged in the learning process.