I’ve always had a distant relationship with horses.
I once rode the pony a friend cared for at a local barn when I was a pre-teen. I’ve done a few trail rides, including what felt like a few death-defying adventures in the Colorado Rockies. I even calmly steered my horse back onto the trail after she reared and raced down a small forest hill.
It was a natural instinct. After all, I’ve watched enough television to witness experienced equestrians deftly managing rearing horses.
Beyond admiring the beauty of horses, especially those running free, I’ve never had any interest in spending time with them. I admired my friends who cared for horses, offered equine-assisted therapy, and even rode into their forest wedding ceremony on their horses with a miniature “flower horse.”
When friends at Liberty Stables in Florida invited me to visit with their three horses, I was eager to witness their new project, which has brought much joy to their lives. Visiting the horses was part of my interest, but mostly it was my relationship with the humans that warmed my heart.
My ambivalence lifted with my first surprising meeting with Zor, a gorgeous Friesian horse who stands between 17 and 18 hands tall.
On a snowy day in New Jersey, I took a break in my comfy chair. Closing my eyes, I noticed the replay of a short “movie” I’d seen of Zor dancing with his previous trainer. He was magnificent, and the fluid interaction between horse and human was like a ballet that moved me deeply.
Suddenly, I saw Zor’s face in my inner sight appear directly in front of me. We were almost nose to nose.
As soon as I indicated a ‘hello and welcome,’ my chest warmed, my heart blew open, and the image disappeared. I stayed within that delicious experience for a while, now intrigued to meet Zor in person.
The first day at the barn, we were going to greet the horses and spend time with them in the paddocks. Liberty training offers the horse freedom in space and interaction with humans.
With four paddocks to choose from, the herd of three horses and three humans would spend time in territory together.
Entering the paddock with some trepidation, I was struck by how Zor towered over the other two horses. I was fully anticipating watching them graze from afar, so was surprised when Zor came directly toward me. I put my closed fist up for a possible greeting, like a fist bump to his nose, as instructed.
Almost immediately, Zor lowered his head and bumped his nose hard against my heart, pushing me back a step.
Contact established, power demonstrated, and heart connection activated, he wandered away to another paddock.
I, in the meantime, took a few moments to both welcome the greeting and calm my nervous system, which had activated with that push.
The afternoon was spent lazily relaxing in a chair beneath the shade of a tree.
Eyes closed, perception widened, I listened to the breeze in the trees, the bird song, and the sounds of the horses grazing. At times, a horse would come to stand behind us, presencing the harmony felt within the natural world and our bodies.
I felt like I took a nap without sleeping.
I enjoyed watching my daughter and friend brush the horses, always keeping my respectful distance. I squatted before the smallest horse as he ate his hay and had a lovely exchange through both spoken language and inner awareness. All in all, it was a lovely day.
Two days later, I woke up with genuine excitement as I couldn’t wait to spend time with Zor. I was surprised by feelings of strong affection and even a bit of inner longing.
Upon arrival, I was immediately greeted by one of the smaller horses. Again, a nose-to-heart bump, followed by a lovely exchange.
Once these niceties were complete, I made a beeline for Zor. I noticed my delight and respect. Even as I was careful of my position given his size, the intimidation of the previous day was gone.
As I dry brushed his coat, chatting with him, I was struck by the intimate, relational nature of the encounter.
Once brushed, Zor walked away to roll around on the ground before returning to me for yet another brushing session.
Laughter, care, and increasing familiarity left me conversing with Zor on multiple levels. Chatting aloud with him and others around us often seemed to narrate the quiet exchange we were having beneath the surface.
When an afternoon snack of hay was delivered, he received my offer of energy healing. Instinctively, we worked together. It was quiet, clear, and intimate.
Later that evening, I saw some photos my friends had taken of us during this healing exchange.
It struck me fully then what I had experienced but had not fully realized at the time. After a lifetime of indifference or intimidation around horses, I was completely at ease and confident in my interactions with Zor. Beyond comfort was a full-body sense of delight within the beautiful “territory.”
I realized then that this wasn’t about skill development or even courage in the face of a really huge horse.
It was coherence.
Horses respond to the state you are presenting. When the heart, breath, and nervous system settle into rhythm, the body becomes steady. Nature is naturally coherent, and horses, finely attuned to the natural field, recognize coherence.
When you arrive in the ‘field’ or ‘territory’ open, present, and steady, you naturally enter deeper states of coherence.
Beyond your own nervous system relaxation and expanded perception is the dance between other coherent systems: birds, horses, pasture, breeze.
Upon reflection, I recognized there was a mutual reading of one another’s state of being that allowed trust to arise. The connection with Zor revealed itself between us in the relational space enhanced within coherence. Trust was established rapidly, and a relationship formed.
My last moments with Zor were outside of his stall after he enjoyed his snack of watery green nutrition.
I had a hard time saying goodbye. He tried time and time again to give me that hard nose bump to my heart. Given his dripping green snout, we settled for ear scratching.
Coherence exists naturally. When you relax enough to meet life within it, you begin to notice the quiet harmony already unfolding all around and within you.
You don’t need to hang out with horses to discover the way in to coherence. Time in nature is often an easy way to explore harmony within and without. If you’d like to learn more about heart coherence and a simple technique to support you, feel free to enjoy my free resource The Self Soothe Strategy.
Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.
HeartWarming
News
Is healing with horses for you? Growing research continues to highlight the healing potential of horses. Equine-assisted programs are now being used with veterans experiencing PTSD, children with autism, and individuals recovering from trauma, anxiety, and depression. Studies suggest that the presence of horses can help regulate the nervous system, build trust, and strengthen emotional awareness. Because horses are highly sensitive to human body language and physiological states, they offer immediate, nonjudgmental feedback that supports self-regulation and connection. Many therapeutic programs report improvements in confidence, social skills, and emotional resilience, reminding us that meaningful healing relationships can sometimes begin in the quiet company of animals.





