Help! My Siblings are Fighting!
All around the world, my human family is having a really hard time.
In the midst of conflict, it’s easy to forget that we the people share something so common and so very precious. We’re all living, breathing human beings. Sharing our lives on this planet which is so rich in resources and also so at risk of deterioration.
This amnesia is so pervasive that it leaves brothers fighting against brothers. Mothers against mothers. Siblings against siblings.
It’s enough to make a grown human weep. And many are weeping all over the world. Those in the line of fire, witnessing the destructive nature of humanity, and mourning the loss of people, creatures, landscapes, and ideals such as peace, harmony, and respect. When the world wide news seeps so easily into your home and your psyche, you can’t help but shake a bit.
I’ve been listening to a lot of people shaking these past weeks. In fear, outrage, and deep sorrow.
A pervading sense of helplessness comes from being so unsettled by what is happening in the world(s) around us. Fear, outrage, and sorrow activate the stress response system. Repeatedly. Flooding your body with cortisol or adrenaline. And linking to all those stored memories of feeling unsafe, unsettled, and unsupported.
It’s not only the dropping of bombs and horror of witnessing the loss of life, limbs, and neighborhoods as wars rage in the Middle East and Ukraine.
It’s the relentless awareness of the prevalence of war zones which infiltrate all levels of humanity and spaces on the planet. Domestic violence. Cartel wars. Political infighting. Civil unrest. Human trafficking. Species extinction. Gang violence. Fiscal inequity. Environmental destruction. Sexual abuse. Crimes against people of color, gender fluidity, immigrants, and those unfortunate to live in impoverished neighborhoods. Religious condemnation. Dictators and terror.
Us vs them. Us vs them. Us vs them.
What’s it gonna take to stop a world gone mad due to the shared insanity of humanity?
And before you say “it’s not me, it’s them making all the trouble,” consider how you just plopped right in the middle of “us vs them.”
Here’s 5 considerations when the world around you is at war and you’re suffering.
#1. Don’t join the fight.
It’s a challenge not to take sides. Especially when you feel one side is so right and the other side is so wrong. No one said this step was going to be easy. Rather than jumping into the fray with your fists, your opinion, and your heightened stress producing chemistry, take a pause and a few deep breaths.
#2. Soothe your system.
When you are in a fight or flight/flee/freeze response, you’re no good to anyone. Least of all yourself. Whether you are in extreme distress or chronically worried, it’s important to have the skill and practices to regulate your own physiology. Lots of ways to to this, but the hint was in #1. Take a pause and breathe. When you “calm yourself,” as my Grandma used to say, you regulate your physiology and gain access to the wisdom of your higher order thinking and caring heart.
[Get my freebie, The Self Soothe Strategy, or read my Breathe Like a Dolphin blog for some valuable practices.]
#3. Consider your sibling’s position.
In indigenous and wisdom traditions around the world, humanity is viewed as one family sharing the precious resources in one ecosystem. The “us vs them” gives way to the kinship view where all are related. So, once you are soothed and before you jump into action, consider your kin. That “other” individual, group, or country. What is their framework of the world and how may this “fighting” be viewed as protecting what is most valuable or necessary to them?
You step into the other’s world as you ponder and research this question. To increase understanding, perhaps access some compassion, and seek some common ground. After all, “those people” are also mothers, fathers, children, aunties, uncles, siblings, and cousins. Calm and considering, you now open to a new opportunity for peace, caring, and assistance.
#4. Ask the question, “What is mine to do?”
Whether you’re in the center of the storm, inflamed by the news, or deeply bothered by one of the countless disturbing situations in the world, ask this question. You may or may not get an immediate answer. This is not a problem to solve or an invitation for your mind figure out the correct answer. It is more of a request to the great intelligence that guides the moon cycles or inhabits all of the natural world. Let the answer come to you. It may surprise you and even seem unrelated, but take heed and follow up with calm, heart centered action.
#5. Take action guided by a wise, compassionate heart.
When you don’t feel so wise or compassionate, remember that somebody somewhere has some sage advice. It may come to you in a role model, a random interaction, a book or story, or through your own wise heart. When it’s time to do something, whatever that something is, bring the higher qualities of respect, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and love into your offering.
Even the tiniest of action, when guided by love, sends a ripple out into the world.
There are many ways to respond to the unrelenting sorrows of a human race at war with itself. Considering how you contribute to all the ways this world calls for your attention isn’t a one time action. More like a way of being.
Peacemaking within. Lovemaking within. Harmony making within.
We all live in our own world of perception which is interconnected with all worlds of perception. So your viewpoint matters and so do your tiny actions. When you realize deep in your bones that the world changes around you as you make adjustments to the world within you, something happens.
You move away from throwing fuel on the fire of “us vs them” and enter the world of one family. Some of whom you love deeply and some who disturb the hell out of you. You aspire to become a safe space of harmony for others to rest within. You practice living respectfully, compassionately, and lovingly to yourself and others near and far. Imperfectly executing this desire.
All the while humming the Beatles tune “Come together right now over me.”
Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.
HeartWarming
News
I’ve got some good news for you! There’s a lot of creative, collaborative, innovative solutions happening around the world. So much that I can’t squeeze it into this little pink box. Let me suggest something. If you’re gonna watch or read the news, read across the ‘far, left, middle, right, far’ to get an idea of different perspectives. Check out how other countries see things. Widen your perspective. Then mine the web for good news. I don’t subscribe to anything so that I seek news rather than have it pushed to me. With one exception. Reasons to be Cheerful slides into my inbox and motivates me to make a difference any way I can. I figure that beats me hanging out with ‘us who are bitchin’ about them.’
