Month: October 2023

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Help! My Siblings are Fighting!

All around the world, my human family is having a really hard time. 

In the midst of conflict, it’s easy to forget that we the people share something so common and so very precious. We’re all living, breathing human beings. Sharing our lives on this planet which is so rich in resources and also so at risk of deterioration. 

This amnesia is so pervasive that it leaves brothers fighting against brothers. Mothers against mothers. Siblings against siblings. 

It’s enough to make a grown human weep. And many are weeping all over the world. Those in the line of fire, witnessing the destructive nature of humanity, and mourning the loss of people, creatures, landscapes, and ideals such as peace, harmony, and respect. When the world wide news seeps so easily into your home and your psyche, you can’t help but shake a bit. 

I’ve been listening to a lot of people shaking these past weeks. In fear, outrage, and deep sorrow.

A pervading sense of helplessness comes from being so unsettled by what is happening in the world(s) around us. Fear, outrage, and sorrow activate the stress response system. Repeatedly. Flooding your body with cortisol or adrenaline. And linking to all those stored memories of feeling unsafe, unsettled, and unsupported. 

It’s not only the dropping of bombs and horror of witnessing the loss of life, limbs, and neighborhoods as wars rage in the Middle East and Ukraine. 

It’s the relentless awareness of the prevalence of war zones which infiltrate all levels of humanity and spaces on the planet. Domestic violence. Cartel wars. Political infighting. Civil unrest. Human trafficking. Species extinction. Gang violence. Fiscal inequity. Environmental destruction. Sexual abuse. Crimes against people of color, gender fluidity, immigrants, and those unfortunate to live in impoverished neighborhoods. Religious condemnation. Dictators and terror. 

Us vs them. Us vs them. Us vs them.

What’s it gonna take to stop a world gone mad due to the shared insanity of humanity?

And before you say “it’s not me, it’s them making all the trouble,” consider how you just plopped right in the middle of “us vs them.”

Here’s 5 considerations when the world around you is at war and you’re suffering. 


#1. Don’t join the fight. 

It’s a challenge not to take sides. Especially when you feel one side is so right and the other side is so wrong. No one said this step was going to be easy. Rather than jumping into the fray with your fists, your opinion, and your heightened stress producing chemistry, take a pause and a few deep breaths. 

#2.  Soothe your system.

When you are in a fight or flight/flee/freeze response, you’re no good to anyone. Least of all yourself. Whether you are in extreme distress or chronically worried, it’s important to have the skill and practices to regulate your own physiology. Lots of ways to to this, but the hint was in #1. Take a pause and breathe. When you “calm yourself,” as my Grandma used to say, you regulate your physiology and gain access to the wisdom of your higher order thinking and caring heart.

[Get my freebie, The Self Soothe Strategy, or read my Breathe Like a Dolphin blog for some valuable practices.]

#3. Consider your sibling’s position.

In indigenous and wisdom traditions around the world, humanity is viewed as one family sharing the precious resources in one ecosystem. The “us vs them” gives way to the kinship view where all are related. So, once you are soothed and before you jump into action, consider your kin. That “other” individual, group, or country. What is their framework of the world and how may this “fighting” be viewed as protecting what is most valuable or necessary to them?

You step into the other’s world as you ponder and research this question. To increase understanding, perhaps access some compassion, and seek some common ground. After all, “those people” are also mothers, fathers, children, aunties, uncles, siblings, and cousins. Calm and considering, you now open to a new opportunity for peace, caring, and assistance. 

#4.  Ask the question, “What is mine to do?”

Whether you’re in the center of the storm, inflamed by the news, or deeply bothered by one of the countless disturbing situations in the world, ask this question. You may or may not get an immediate answer. This is not a problem to solve or an invitation for your mind figure out the correct answer. It is more of a request to the great intelligence that guides the moon cycles or inhabits all of the natural world. Let the answer come to you. It may surprise you and even seem unrelated, but take heed and follow up with calm, heart centered action. 

#5. Take action guided by a wise, compassionate heart. 

When you don’t feel so wise or compassionate, remember that somebody somewhere has some sage advice. It may come to you in a role model, a random interaction, a book or story, or through your own wise heart. When it’s time to do something, whatever that something is, bring the higher qualities of respect, understanding, compassion, forgiveness, and love into your offering.

Even the tiniest of action, when guided by love, sends a ripple out into the world. 

There are many ways to respond to the unrelenting sorrows of a human race at war with itself. Considering how you contribute to all the ways this world calls for your attention isn’t a one time action. More like a way of being. 

Peacemaking within. Lovemaking within. Harmony making within. 

We all live in our own world of perception which is interconnected with all worlds of perception. So your viewpoint matters and so do your tiny actions. When you realize deep in your bones that the world changes around you as you make adjustments to the world within you, something happens. 

You move away from throwing fuel on the fire of “us vs them” and enter the world of one family. Some of whom you love deeply and some who disturb the hell out of you. You aspire to become a safe space of harmony for others to rest within. You practice living respectfully, compassionately, and lovingly to yourself and others near and far. Imperfectly executing this desire.

All the while humming the Beatles tune “Come together right now over me.” 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

I’ve got some good news for you! There’s a lot of creative, collaborative, innovative solutions happening around the world. So much that I can’t squeeze it into this little pink box. Let me suggest something. If you’re gonna watch or read the news, read across the ‘far, left, middle, right, far’ to get an idea of different perspectives. Check out how other countries see things. Widen your perspective. Then mine the web for good news. I don’t subscribe to anything so that I seek news rather than have it pushed to me. With one exception. Reasons to be Cheerful slides into my inbox and motivates me to make a difference any way I can. I figure that beats me hanging out with ‘us who are bitchin’ about them.’

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We Got Skunked

Decision time.

Do I take my dog out front in my pjs and pink fuzzy slippers to bless “his” fire hydrant or let him roam free in the backyard?

We’ve been a little overprotective of Milo ever since he broke his foot this summer while chasing an intruder. Especially since his tendency is to take off like a bat outta hell if he sees a squirrel or bunny. Yet, his foot had healed nicely and it was early, cold, and damp.

I kept an eye on him as he patrolled and watered the garden beds.

When he disappeared into the overgrown woods, I went to make my smoothie. Trusting he’d bark when it was time to get his portion. Mid-smoothie, I was prompted to look outside as I witnessed him leaping over the greenery and streaking toward the side yard. It was such a full out run that I went out on the deck to investigate.

My mind scrambled and I couldn’t understand why two black and white creatures were nose to nose in my yard.

Within seconds I was screaming “Milo, No!”while watching two snarling creatures locked in a battle. In hindsight, I realize my stress response had diminished my frontal lobe functioning. I was terrified that Milo was going to be bitten in the face by this creature.

Seems I forgot all about a skunk’s secret weapon.

I saw the moment Milo got sprayed in the face and his valiant effort to go in for one more snarl. I’m sure the burning was too much for him as he ran in a panic, rubbing his face in the grass. My extensive vocabulary changed to “Milo, Come!” as I ran along with him.

As he streaked by me on the deck, I saw his look of panic in his blood red eyes.

He’s quick and efficient. I’ll grant him that. In his frenzied state, Milo blessed the carpets in 3 rooms with that skunk’s parting gift before I caught him. Knowing I had to wash out his eyes, I leashed him and dragged the poor beast to grab towels and upstairs to the bathroom. Not even letting him pause for another wipe of his face.

As I ran the water, my entire focus was on protecting his eyes.

We were in sync as he brought his face under the warm water, flushing out his eyes. Quickly laying towels over the bathroom rug, I sought the dog shampoo. Only to find we had none. I grabbed my liquid soap made of plants which was good for sensitive skin. Not so great for de-skunking, but okay if soap got in his eyes.

Keeping up a constant stream of soothing language while lathering Milo allowed me to calm us both down a bit.

As my system reorganized and my higher order thinking came back on line, I realized a few things. He stunk. I stunk. My house stunk. And his eyes were clearing up rapidly. Once he had his roll about on the towels (and my bathroom rug) he was fluffy and a bit less stinky.

Leashed, I took him to the kitchen while I called the vet. “Watch his eyes.” 



I looked up how to get out skunk smell from a dog, my rugs, and my house. Just too complicated for me in that moment to do by myself. When I saw he was still shaking, I sat down and did a Body Code session to clear the trauma. No surprise that first up was the physical-emotional shock, unbalanced adrenals, and other relevant reactions. I treated myself as well while we moved through the protocol to help my system rebalance.

It worked well for both of us.

Too bad The Body Code doesn’t get out skunk oil. 


Next, I found the best rug cleaning service for stinky rugs and arranged for a thorough job three days hence.

With all my tasks done, I made peace with what had rearranged my day and that stink which was well entrenched in my nostrils. 

We took some sniff and strolls. Then sat outside on the deck for hours waiting for my husband to return from a trip.



Welcome home, lol. I quickly headed out to buy skunk shampoo and get my hair triple washed at the salon.

After a second bath that evening, I’d like to say Milo isn’t a skunk pup. But, I’d be lying. Eventually he’ll reject all that oil from his system, but not today. You might be gung ho about coating your dog in a skunk defying mix, leaving it on for 5 minutes, hosing him off, and repeating the process. But, I’m not. 



Our house has very clean rugs, towels on the furniture where skunk pup rests, and a calm dog who continues to keep watch over his domain.



I recognize the power of Energy Medicine techniques such as The Body Code every week in my office. And I saw its potential to help both of us quickly process the trauma of our skunk encounter. We’re all quite calm and tolerant of the subtle, but lingering stink. 



Milo could write a testimonial for The Body Code, but he’s too busy patrolling the yard as the apex predator he believes himself to be.

I won’t disabuse him of this notion. Yet, I will check the back yard before letting him out in the early morning. If I can assist you in processing the challenges of life, old or new, with any of the Energy Psychology or Energy Medicine techniques I know, please reach out.

It’s safe now ‘cause I no longer stink. 


 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Challenging events and bad news can devastate, challenge a shift, or invite something new. The old adage of a silver lining is worth remembering. With so much emphasis is placed on avoiding trouble and decreasing stress, many people don’t even realize there are more types of stress response than just “fight or flight.” The Challenge Stress Response invites creativity in dealing with obstacles and perhaps even looking hard for that silver lining. Like when COVID shut down public places, restaurants and street vendors got creative in the open air. Something that continues to this day. Check out my Self Soothe Strategy PlayBook and Meditation so you may be flexible in the face of your “skunk.”

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The Generous Friendship of Trees

I turned off the car, took one conscious breath, and sat a moment.

Finding a space of peace within as I let my busy mind and active body settle from my morning. Silently, I breathed away those thoughts which competed for my scattered attention. Encouraged by my newfound peace, my eyes focused on what stood before me. 

A beautiful tree of red situated next to a smaller tree of yellow.

Such beauty in these Fall colors! They had not been present last time I parked my car before them. Or had they? I didn’t know.

So often racing from one space to another. I didn’t notice them yesterday, but these delightful colors were definitely present today.

I breathed in appreciation of the artistry dancing in the breeze before me.

My eyes slowly wandered to the left and took a moment to process the mix of colors around me. A beautiful holly tree with glistening green leaves. So vibrantly alive. These sturdy green leaves reflected the light as if diamonds had taken a pause in flight to wink at me.

I couldn’t help but noticing how generously the natural world shared beauty, diversity, and support.

Woven into the green holly leaves were splashes of red. The branches of the neighboring tree had come to visit, rest, and share in the beautification of this tiny patch of nature. I wondered if the red leaves understood the holly’s desire to adorn herself. Or if it was a beautiful friendship where the holly enjoyed both the brilliant red leaves and the stark naked branches in winter of her neighbor.

I don’t know how long I sat there. Creatively exploring the intent and friendship of the trees before me.

Smiling, I realized that this decorative gift of red was to be repaid in time. Day after day the red leaves would flutter in the breeze, leaving branches of brown unadorned. No longer offering a gift of color to the holly, roles would reverse as the receiver became the giver.

Throughout the winter, the vibrant holly tree would cradle the naked branches and adorn them with leaves of green and diamond lights.

I figured then that the sun and breeze conspired to dance this model of reciprocal giving. So its graceful movement and reflecting light might catch the fancy of a distracted driver who parked before it.

Inviting her to take a breath, enjoy a moment of stillness, and feel a deep sense of peace.

Such a generous lesson before me.

One that had been missed over many, many years of parking in that spot. Funny thing. In the days that followed, I found generous weavings of red, orange, brown, and green everywhere I went. When I was distracted by mindless, unimportant thoughts, dancing forests, alive with color, reminded me to breathe deeply. To open my eyes to the gifts of beauty, generosity, and magical light existing everywhere.

Reminding me to share my beautiful light with others.

To dance in harmony with others across all seasons. With all manner of support. Sometimes giving. Sometimes receiving. Always grateful for this generous exchange. 

In the Andean Medicine tradition and Peruvian culture, this generous exchange is called Ayni.

Reciprocity or the mutual exchange of energy, care, and love is the way of life for those in many indigenous cultures. Underlying this core principle is the understanding that all things are connected in the Universe.

This energy of giving and receiving is happening all the time across and between the cosmos, Earth, peoples, nature, and all creatures.

When you recognize this interconnectivity within life, your thoughts, words, and deeds align with Ayni. “What I do for you, I also do for me.” You care for the community in relationship with the wide world as this is essential to your wellbeing.

All of life, apart from we humans, practice Ayni. This generous friendship of trees is only one example.

If you’d like to learn more about the beautiful principles guiding the interconnected life of the cosmos and Earth, you can explore any wisdom tradition that holds this value. By whatever name it is called.

I often teach the Art of Becoming classes for women which explore Ayni, Beauty, Wisdom, and Love.

These classes and retreats journeys into the Andean cosmovision, use the Andean Medicine Wheel as a Map, and wise guardians to provide guidance on your life journey.

You may always learn more by visiting these pages:  Andean Energy Medicine, Workshops, or Classes and Retreats. 

 

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Vast forests of aspen are all interconnected by roots and, get this, are one genetic individual. Genetically identical, a forest of aspen is really one organism. Dr. Michael Grant at University of Colorado studied an aspen clone in Utah consisting of a calculated 47,000 tree trunks covering 106 acres. Doing the math, it weighed in at 13 million pounds. Just because we look different than frogs, an iceberg, or Marie living in Ireland doesn’t mean we can’t act as if we’re one big organism. Energetically, we are.

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Soul Sanctuary Celebrates 12 Years.

I’m sitting in a silent Soul Sanctuary. Quietly communing with the wonder of this space.

It’s a bit mind blowing to review the journey that got me here. My original plan was to continue as psychologist and executive director of a nonprofit agency serving DYFS adolescents until I retired. Funny how Life has a way of inviting you onto a new path. Even funnier that you say yes. Innocently stepping onto an entirely new trajectory that at first masquerades as something similar to the path you’ve been living.

Not all Journeys have clearly marked paths and signs. I think that’s by design.

I’m not sure I had the vision or the courage back then to head in the direction I’ve been led. Although with hindsight, I must’ve had a huge trust and a fair amount of courage to walk away from the security of a job that allowed me to grow personally, empower others, and create change in the wider community. Thank the Angels who whispered there was another way even though I didn’t know who was talking nor where that “way” would lead me.

That was in 2005 and there were many twists and unexpected turns that landed me here today celebrating Soul Sanctuary’s 12th birthday.

I’m awash in gratitude. Allowing the images of the people who have walked through these doors. Seeking solace, expansion, community, and above all, love. I’m moved deeply by the way everyone has seeded Soul Sanctuary with trust, courage, desire, and movement toward a broader life. And how tears, laughter, and determination have watered these seeds. I’m thinking of all the people who have helped me in so many ways, and those who share the gift of the work we do at Soul Sanctuary with others. It is so very helpful and really generous. I’m awash in this generous spirit in this very moment.

Entering an energetically enriched conscious space such as Soul Sanctuary naturally invites and empowers healing and transformation.

I’ve witnessed a lot of transformation in myself, my offerings, and the way in which transformation occurs within people. It has become easier, more gracefully fluid, and quite astonishing to witness how that which creates suffering may fall away to reveal that which is ready to blossom.

It’s a quiet year without fanfare, this 12th wonder of a birthday for Soul Sanctuary. Yet there are gifts to be given and worthy children to receive them.

Please celebrate with me by providing support for our Love Orphanage family in Haiti

The annual Village Walk is taking place this Saturday, October 7th, in many areas.

I won’t be walking in Moorestown at Strawbridge Lake this year, so Esther Clark is leading the way. If you’re local, join Esther from the Church St entrance. Walk begins at 10 am and is a lovely, easy stroll with friends. Arrive a few minutes early.

I’ll be celebrating young love at a wedding so I’ll dance for Love O kids this year.

They are worth our attention, love, and of course, our monetary contribution. You can register to walk or run at a few locations. Or you can sit on your couch, work in your garden, or play with your grandkids. However you want to spend the day is great. Go ahead and register to walk or make a donation.

It’s a big deal this year ’cause Haiti’s poverty, gang activity, and civil unrest has run up prices and required the Love O family to relocate temporarily for safety reasons.

You can get all of the details at the Love Oprhanage site. Anything you donate will be used for living expenses such as rent, food, and medical treatment. Go here to register or donate.

My heart is full of gratitude for Gabriel who committed his life to care for orphans in Haiti.

He always speaks with astonishment that people around the world would help him raise these children. That many Difference Makers would fund education and travel during the summers to Haiti and create a Culture Camp with the kids. He just can’t believe so many care about children in a forgotten place.

Yet what astonishes all of us is that a man can commit his life to make the impossible possible.

I’ve seen first hand over 3 summers, and years of photos, how love can truly inspire people to make a life saving difference for virtual strangers. I thank you. All of you who have never met Gabriel and the Love O kids but have supported the Be a Difference Maker program because my kid asked you to put them through school. And now, I ask you to help them live.

This dream of a healthy, safe Love O is astounding and totally achievable. And worth celebrating.

It’s an ordinary day turned magical with my focus on 12 years of beauty, love, and transformation. And a heartfelt prayer that children in Haiti and everywhere be supported on their own path of growth.

I wouldn’t feel so completely awash in gratitude without you and all the ways you show up.

May you continue to be blessed as you walk the path your Soul calls you to, with ease or challenge, knowing you are part of a community that loves, transforms, and serves with gratitude.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

A lot has happened since I first “met” the Love O Family. Gabriel and his staff of 2 cared for 19 kids in an overcrowded house. No school. Limited food. Long term effects of trauma and malnourishment. And plenty of love, faith, and hard work. Since then? 9 years of school. New home with solar panels, lights (!), running water. Medical care. New children. 4 summers of Culture Camp. Swims in the ocean. Amazing. They’ve had losses. Normal losses and heartbreaking tragedies. Dangers and moves to safety. The hardships continue in Haiti, yet Love is the prevailing force. It shows itself in healthy, happy children. Gratitude overflows for all who persist in their support of Love O. You truly are a Difference Maker.