Modeling without a Runway
I was at the hair salon (wearing my mask) and noticed the Victoria Secret fashion show playing on the flat screen.
I watched the show and looked at the salon crowd. Teens to seniors, mostly female, I couldn’t find anyone who looked like those models. Granted, it was not a fair comparison, as no one in the salon was in high heels and underwear.
Why were we watching this program?
I thought of my chats with hundreds of teenage girls, many of whom compared themselves to the models, youtubers, and performers they knew. Guess what? They couldn’t see the similarity either.
Here’s the problem: these wonderful young women all concluded the same thing. They were coming up short.
There was no consideration for a cultural norm of beauty that does not represent the population.Or that there are makeup artists, hair stylists, professional photographers, personal trainers, and air brushing involved.
The difficulty in our culture is that so many role models in the media are limited to their visual persona.
This just doesn’t translate to the lives of ordinary folks. The truth is, none of the ladies I’ve spoken with could have possibly come up short. They all broadcast beauty, kindness, intelligence, and talent. It often takes another person to see the loveliness of others. And humans are really good at dismissing another’s perspective – especially if it doesn’t match the cultural image of the time.
So, how do we create sturdy children who are able to own and celebrate their unique beauty, strengths, intelligence, and talents?
Especially with the influence of social media woven throughout every aspect of our culture? I think it is time for parents, grandparents, older siblings, teachers, coaches, and neighbors to hit the runway. Now before you get nervous about the idea of high heels, make up, and underwear, take a breath.
Ask yourself, “What am I modeling for young people?”
The author Robert Fulghum drops some wisdom with his famous statement: “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” What are you identifying as important and living as a “professional model?” Remember, children learn what they live.
Modeling without a runway certainly doesn’t include airbrushing. It’s real, raw, and imperfect.
Actions speak louder than words. This invites you to lay down the teaching and preaching, and get really clear about who you are and how you live in the world. What are you really “saying” about personal attributes, love and respect, environmental awareness, approach to education, social attitudes, physical health, or playtime?
Conscious modeling involves increasing awareness of Who you Are and How you Live in the world.
And it isn’t only the young ones who are watching you.
Everyone may adjust a view of self based on the models who show up. Of course, this goes beyond visual representation. You get inspired by demonstrations of brilliance, kindness, courage, and creativity. Growing older, you may become more conscious of who and what you are letting inform you. However, most learning continues to be influenced by early modeling and creation of ideas of how the world works and your place in it.
It takes work to notice yourself as both as an influential model and a consumer of what’s offered on the “runway.”
I’m a big fan of beautiful questions which may expand your awareness, if you let them. Seeking to yourself and move toward the higher ideal of how you ‘be’ in the world. If you are serious about your role as a model for the generations that come after you, ask yourself these questions.
Or create your own.
Write it down in a journal, on your calendar or screen saver, or post it on your bathroom mirror. Contemplate this question and see what gems of insight and opportunity arise.
Self-awareness is a beautiful art to cultivate.
How are you helping to cultivate a spirit of generosity, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness in yourself? What are you doing to grow new neural pathways? Translation – how are you learning something new, encouraging your curiosity, and expressing your creativity?
What practical action are you taking to support the environment, help others move toward sustainable living, or beautify the life of another who is suffering? How are you demonstrating acceptance of your own fallibility and the making of mistakes with humility, humor, and the desire to make another go at it?
Where are you modeling respect for others whether they be similar or different, older or younger, pleasant or obnoxious? How are you demonstrating practical tools to manage the stress of daily living in good times and bad?
I did mention I’m a fan of Beautiful Questions as a path to greater self awareness. I’m on a roll.
How are you growing your connection to a Divine Source or the idea of something larger than yourself? What are you doing to enrich your enjoyment of your relationships with yourself and others? When are you trying on the perspective of another in order to deeply understand rather than judge, condemn, or dismiss?
How are you questioning authority, even your own, in order to adopt beliefs, values, and ideas that you choose as your guiding light?
How are questions of meaning, actions of purpose, and movement toward healing replacing addictive routines and habits that limit growth?
When are you holding honest conversations, even when they hurt, and seeking to live authentically, even in the privacy of your own mind and heart? When are you allowing yourself to rest or cry when you need to? How are you liking yourself and enjoying how you look and live?
Forget the runway, high heels, and underwear.
And remember that you are a model during your waking moments to the child within all of us. This may be the most important work you do on this planet. Get clear about who you choose to be. That will inform the kind of modeling you live.
Lights. Camera. Action. We’re all watching.
Peace be with you and with all. No exceptions.
HeartWarming
News
During COVID, remember this. Research speaks of the importance of human connection for health, well being, and longevity. The most important indicators of longevity are a few close relationships and touching lots of people (eg, shopkeeper, neighbor, barista). In these times, let’s expand how we “touch” another. Reach out more than you’re used to – a letter, a phone call, a video call. Humans benefit from hearing voices and seeing faces. Even if you are watching a recorded program or are a passive witness on a ZOOM class, it’s helpful. Adapt this idea to your circumstances. It’s worth reaching out, even past your comfort zone.
