Month: January 2021

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The Messy Middle: An Anecdote

I drove through a hail storm today.

It began gently, offering a delightful musical accompaniment to my journey. Intensifying, the hail noisily demanded my attention, as did the wind. And then it was over. Just like that.

How different from the storm which has overtaken the world.

A pandemic whirling through every country with continuous winds of massive change, uncertainty, and overwhelm. Littering the way with too many demands, unclear directions, and everyone unsettled. These are the times in which we live and we’re not through to the other side.

We’re in the “Messy Middle” of a long transformative process.

This term, coined by Scott Belskys, acknowledges the influential middle phase of any project, product development or transformation of a company. Whether intended or forced upon a company, big change brings uncertainty, ups and downs, mistakes, struggles, and frustration. Volatility is to be expected and may be worked with. Far from being helpless, there are wise ways to proceed.

It helps to recognize that no journey is linear. And every middle is messy.

At the beginning of a challenge, planned or unplanned, you may rally. Expend your energy to creatively adapt and to help others do the same. You settle into the new plans in place and manage the frequent need for adjusting your response.

And on it goes. And the storm continues.

You engage. You withdraw. You adapt and look to the future. At some point, you lose sight of that future you looked to and have nothing yet to replace it with. Eventually, energy expended and mindset recalibrated countless times, you realize you’re tired. And unclear about the next tweak, action, or directional focus.

When you run out of steam, it’s a good thing to rest.

Even though life will still blow the winds around you, demanding your attention and your presence. That’s to be expected. Choosing to rest doesn’t mean you’ll give up your responsibility. You know how to do your work, feed the children, and complete the basic tasks of living. And it’ll get done.

The choice becomes where you place your focus: on the storm around you or on the calm within.

It’s too easy to be pulled in the direction of the loudest wind. It takes intent to pull back and engage the quietude within. Here in the stillness of your own being, it’s not so much about doing anything. Not seeking answers or even trying to listen. Just dropping into the quiet spaciousness that awaits your return. Resting there.

Imagine that. In the midst of the storm, you do nothing.

It sounds simple, but it takes practice. Especially after years of the mind and the body clamoring for the to-doing. Yet, the Way into living in flow with the universal energy and the wisdom of your own Soul requires you to slow. And still. And open.

It’s a life practice, not just a smart meditation. (Although it also is a smart meditation.)

Dropping within and seeking nothing, you open the way for deep nourishment. Naturally, you access a wellspring of wisdom that soothes, sturdies, and (eventually) reveals the mystical invitations to live differently than you had before.

There’s an ebb and a flow to the process. And it’s not to be rushed.

There are many ways in. For me, walking the Feminine mystical path has revealed the deep nourishment of sitting within exquisite stillness. Engaging the archetypal energy of the Sacred Feminine, with Her many faces, you awaken your capacity to flow in coordination with life’s movements.

Within this depth of sturdiness, connection, and replenishment, the way becomes clear.

Internally guided rather than externally pulled. Moving with the complexity of Life’s harmonious dance, your life becomes simpler. And the middle is less messy.

There is a difference between working archetypally and psychologically.

 

When you work with archetypal energy, such as the Faces of the Sacred Feminine, you engage timeless, universal principles.

This information is not received through the mind. It is a direct transmission that is encoded with a blueprint for your own evolution. Your Soul recognizes, translates, and activates within you the metaphoric, symbolic language of these archetypal energies.

Archetypal symbols are fluid symbols of light which are the underlying form of the Universe.

Dropping within the stillness and engaging an archetypal face of the Sacred Feminine allows this fluid light information to settle within your being. Shifting and growing you from the inside out.

It’s a mystical process. Perfectly orchestrated by your Soul.

Remember that all journeys are not linear. And any step along your Path may be challenging and the way unclear.

Engaging the Way of the Feminine introduces practical relationships and depth practice to drop within the wisdom, opens you to the archetypal energy, and allows the Feminine teachers to reside within and guide you into the way of living in flow with what is happening.

Entering through the gateway of stillness, you see that every moment is rich with opportunity. And the storm stills.

If you are interested in exploring the Sacred Feminine Mystery teachings, I invite you to explore the offerings on my Workshop and Retreat pages. All classes are for women only (although the Sacred Feminine Mystery is available to all, regardless of gender identification).

There are many ways to live in alignment with the Universal flow.

Stillness is a gateway for all of them. However you find your way in, I do hope you seek what awaits. It changes everything.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

The practice of “stilling” is a way into universal wisdom and your inner clarity. And research proclaims that the benefits for your emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing are many. Sitting still or meditating in your fashion each day changes the brain. Growing gray matter, creating new neural pathways, decreasing stress chemicals and increasing immune response. Reducing high blood pressure, soothing symptoms of anxiety and depression, contributing to wellbeing. No matter what is happening, you can take a minute or more to stop, drop in, breathe, and notice. It’s that simple and that beneficial.

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Blunders and (future) Burdens


Yesterday taught me something valuable.

After an enjoyable and long day of working, I tuned into the highlights of the inaugural ceremonies and celebration. I’m aware of the potential of any significant change, such as a transfer of leadership, to raise or lower the human capacity to live well.

Curious about the prevailing message of the day, I surfed the highlights.

Grateful for freedom to choose what I watched on youtube, granting me the ability to avoid the “noise” of commentary. I saw evidence of a transfer of leadership – peaceful, solemn, joyous, determined. Historic for many reasons, including welcoming a woman of color as vice president. I watched the live evening events focused upon new opportunities, the need for repair, the goodness of people, and the benefit of serving one another.

Promoting the capacity to live and work well, together as a human family sharing a country.

To honor one another and those who have suffered. To reach for one another so that they may know to reach back. To commit to finding a way to tend, mend, and grow. To step up and sing together. To begin to continue to complex work of bridging instead of dividing people.

Words, actions, and songs reflecting the need for love, caring, and respect.

And sure, we need lots of intelligence, fortitude, courage, and faith in our capacity to rise to every challenge. All of this may be familiar as rhetoric so often heard in political speeches and well orchestrated programs designed to inspire unity within a county. And to call forth the agreement that some grit is required if true transformation is to occur.

I also wondered about those too angry or disheartened to tune in.

I thought of those I know who think very differently than me. About people who resist the new ideas, with these leaders’ underlying and far reaching ideals. Who feel threatened by what is to come and are disheartened by this new direction. I felt the potential for more division, more derision, and more misunderstanding.

And then a young woman poetically reminded us that our blunders are the next generations’ burdens.

Oh. A realization emerged. I speak of bridging while I remain divided. I’m okay with having a stance. I express my disagreement or condemnation of those ideas, ideals, actions, and rhetoric which I believe dehumanize people and divide us. With clarity, it leads me to action which aligns with my beliefs. And I’m okay with you having a stance.

I’m doing the same as everyone else here, regardless of “side.”

Today I was grateful to have some conversations with people on both sides. Some were happy. Some were wounded. Insulted. Disheartened. I sought to understand and learned that flames had been fanned by a deep insult. Grouping everyone together on one side and labeling them in a certain way. A group is not an individual. For her, it simply wasn’t true. 

“I want peace.” was the plaintive cry. I heard her pain.

My actions align with my beliefs. Or do they? If I speak with derision of someone’s lack of respect in how they conduct themselves, am I not disrespectful? If I make fun of another whom I disagree with, even on core fundamental beliefs, aren’t I diminishing their personhood? And on and on these questions arose.

Revealing my blunders. Contributing to the future ….. burdens that I scatter about mindlessly by my actions.

I’m mostly surrounded by people who think similarly to me. People interested in personal transformation. Spiritual seekers and yogis. Humanitarians. Those committed to bringing light, harmony, and improved conditions for humanity and the planet.

So, it’s easy to miss the obvious.

Disrespect is disrespect.


There is a way to express a difference of opinion or belief with consideration for the other.

To condone an action and take a different route in response without demonizing those you oppose. A 16 year old told me recently that she stopped going on Tik Tok so frequently. What used to be clever, entertaining, and funny had turned mean. She was so over the meanness of social media. That wasn’t fun nor funny.

Mean humor is deprecating.

Disparaging another human, even when their behavior is abhorrent to you, disparages all humans. You know this. So do I. I’m not trying to preach to the choir of good people wanting to be better people and improve the world. I want that. I know you do also. And I enjoy a good laugh at the expense of myself and my fellow, fallible humans like the rest of us.

But, a new dawn can’t bloom without me (and you).

I heard a call to action last night. To be a better human. To start in the mirror and within my deeply seeded conditioned beliefs. To notice how easy it is to disrespect another without consciously intending that result. And to see how it is okay to do so in those circles who think like me.

Hmmmmn. Maybe I’m not so different than those I judge.

And maybe my first bridge to be built is within.

(Blunders and burdens inspired by Amanda Gorman’s inaugural poem. Let the young wisely lead us forward.)

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Good News, Wise Strategies, and Reasons to Be Cheerful. When you are in need of restoration, solutions, and a general pick me up, seek those sources which uplift. And point the way to inspired solutions. There is plenty of good in the world. Plenty of people using heart, innovation, and compassion to improve things. Here are two of my favorite places to be inspired, celebrate the good, and seek positive strategies. The Greater Good Science Center at Cal Berkley offers the Greater Good Magazine. David Byrne of Talking Heads fame sends out a Reasons to be Cheerful Blog. There’s just so much good in this amazing world. Seek it!

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Bridging the Divide: 3 Strategies

Outrage.

As I listened to people react to the Trump supporters storming the Capitol in Washington, I witnessed outrage. In their tone of voice, in their facial expressions, and in the question-statements they made. Can you believe this happened? Can you believe this president? Can you believe these people?

I can. I can believe it.

The invitation to revolt against the idea of a rigged election has been promoted across the internet, within the extremist groups, and by the president himself. It has been demonstrated in the great divide within our country for years now. Promoted by a sophisticated system of disseminating information that speaks to the insecurity, anger, and elitism of many groups.

Creating an enemy in plain sight.

It’s just that the enemy is a complex, shifting target. It may be the Democrats. Or people of color. Or immigrants. Or liberals. Or police. Or policies. Or Republicans. Or anyone who doesn’t agree with me. And on it goes. Outrage. Judgment. Seething anger. Violent action.

As I listened to people ardently against governmental control of freedoms, I heard the outrage.

About systems creating restrictions on their ability to keep a business open, to earn a living, and to make their own choice for health treatment. Can you believe these policies? These people? This manipulation? I can. I can believe it.

It’s not new.

This “us vs. them” divide has been impacting lives throughout human history. It’s complicated and built on systems of thought, social structure, racial inequity, economic policies, tribalism, and more. There’s so much more to it than the common person can understand. Yet, the common person already has a strong opinion and is easily placed within one side or another.

What side are you on?

That’s a serious question. And one that’s probably not to hard to answer. Take the insurrection at the Capitol for example. What side are you on? I’m sure you know. Looking at your reaction will let others know as well. When I looked at the images from the Capitol, I noticed something.

Outrage.

Within the crowd contagion effect, I witnessed righteous outrage. Splashed across the media, it was apparent in voices, on faces, and through body movement. Outrage fueled this disruption to the orderly democratic process. And alongside the outrage is fear which arose when witnessing chaos, violence, and the overwhelm of protective systems.

It is deeply disturbing.

I mean this at a very basic level. It is deeply disturbing to the human nervous system. As I listened to people express their outrage to me, I heard and felt an escalating disruption in their nervous systems. The heart beating fast as intense emotions were expressed. The breath shortening as the words tumbled out upon one another. Faster and more upset with every sentence. I witnessed (and felt) the same response when watching videos of the event.

I breathed deeply. Seeking my own regulation so that I might stay open.


Open to whomever was speaking. To the information that was flowing.

To a solution that was arising in the moment. I’m not at my best when I’m disturbed. If my physiology launches me into a fight or flight mode, then my survival function will guide my reactivity. I’ll launch into outrage or ostrich (a fear response of withdrawal or avoidance). I’ll express it or suppress it. Either way, I’m disturbed.

You can’t bridge the divide when you’re disturbed.

You won’t even consider this as an option. Yet, if you don’t go beyond outrage or ostrich, you’ll only polarize your position and prolong the war with the “enemy.” I don’t have any answers for the complicated mess we’re in as a country. I only ask what I may do in this moment to bridge the divide that is playing out in the world.

Here’s 3 things I’m doing to bridge the divide between “us and them.”

1. Soothe my system whenever I’m disturbed.

If my nervous system is dysregulated, I’ll react from my unconscious programming. I’ll fall into the divide rather than reach across the chasm. I’d rather respond with an open heart and let my higher wisdom guide my thoughts and actions. I believe that mastering self-soothing is an essential skill for living. My go to is the Self Soothe Strategy which is available on my home page. Download the booklet and guided practice (mp3) here.

2. Meet the “other” as an individual rather than a group or an idea. 


When you seek the commonalities with another, you’ll find them. Personalizing the other helps you see how you share so many aspects of living. The Greater Good Science Center offers the Shared Identity practice so you may find common ground rather than a battle ground. Access it here.

3. Soften my judgment.

I understand when I judge, I am feeling separate or threatened in the moment. I drop into connection with my own being, ground deeply within Pachamama (Earth), and open my heart to whomever or whatever I am judging. Then I seek the place in me that is threatened and I soothe that. This allows me to soften my judgement of another (or myself for being judgmental).

I’d rather be a lover than a judger.

I imagine that it will take a while to attain that position. I’m okay with that. I’m interested in shifting perspectives in order to discover that common ground between the humans who share this country.

How I choose to broadcast on social media (eg, this blog) seeks to enhance potential for perspective shifting rather than taking sides.

Read more about how important that can be in the Heartwarming News below.

Peace be with you and with all.  No exceptions. 

HeartWarming

 News

Pinker, author of The Better Angels of Our Nature, argues that the printing press may have had an important role in increasing levels of empathy. Making it possible to read stories framed in the perspective of others. He even speculates that some literature written from the perspective of black slaves may have been instrumental to the abolition of slavery. In current time, the use of many social media platforms seem to encourage the taking of sides more than exploring the perspective of others. Learning more about the lives of those who think, act, and live differently from you increases the potential for understanding and a true desire to find common ground.